You Ironic Little Elf

We are a home with magic - fairies, sprites and the like visit us regularly*.  So why do I have such an issue with The Elf on The Shelf?

Believe me, it is not the story behind the elf stories, which is very inspiring (check out the short film on the website). First of all the elf himself or herself (yes, add earrings and you have a girl) seem to be looking eerily at one, which is probably why I do not like to sleep with dolls looking in the room.  Secondly, the elf is supposed to report mischievous and bad behavior to Santa, but the ironic part is that he creates havoc himself overnight.

I realize that the elf was not originally created for the purpose of encouraging overachieving mothers and fathers to create dastardly and insidious scenarios.  The writers of the story are incredible women and the company behind the products is truly magical.  However, on a given day during the Christmas holiday at least three or more friends post pictures of what their elf was doing the night before.

I have read a couple blogs that write humor based articles describing the odd behavior of parents who go to great lengths to outdo the antics of the night before, or to ultimately outdo (or recreate) a pin on Pinterest.  And in all seriousness, if you want to go to great lengths to entertain your children (and yourself) I commend you, because like I said before we have many little visitors who stop by our home throughout the year.*

What I am suggesting is that I am confused to why a child would be "good" for an elf who is clearly NOT setting a good example.  And in most cases the elf gets exceedingly worse as the holiday season proceeds.  So what exactly is this suggesting?  Santa wants you to be good in order to get gifts, but his elf can be a real jerk and mess up your house and that's okay?

*Fairies, Sprites and the Like
We have a variety of little visitors at our house, and I thought you might want to know who.

Garden Fairies 
Rosemary, Lavender and Thyme visit through our fairy door throughout the year.  They exchange letters with the ladybugs and the ladybugs in leave letters, gifts (Evie loves making little dresses for them) and drawings at their door.  Most of the time the fairies remind them to behave and to be kind.

Sugar Sprite Fairy
The Sugar Sprite Fairy comes on Halloween night and replaces candy with small toys.  This year the girls each received a Littlest Pet Shop toy.  My girls are allowed to keep 20 pieces of candy and the rest is given to the Sugar Sprite Fairy to make her sugar palace.  Interesting fact - the ladybugs still have half their candy stash from Halloween.

Tooth Fairy
Ah, the good 'ol Tooth Fairy!  She comes and retrieves teeth that have fallen out.  She never gives more than $1.  NEVER!  And she occasionally writes a little letter thanking the child for the tooth.  She uses the teeth for her palace.  Gross if you think about it, but structurally teeth would be very strong.  The girls and I wash their teeth before putting them in their special fairy bag (little doll with a bag specifically for the tooth), because we don't want the Tooth Fairy to have a house full of spit and blood.

Toy Fairies
In a brief moment of genius, I created the Toy Fairies.  The ladybugs were becoming so difficult when it was time to clean up their toys.  Jim and I had tried everything.  Everything.  And then, one night, I told them about the Toy Fairies.  The Toy Fairies fly around each night after children go to bed looking for toys that are not properly put away.  They take the toy or toys to give to another child (one with less money) who will take better care of the toy.  Yes, the Toy Fairies have taken toys.  However, after receiving an apology letter, the toys were returned.  Very rarely do we have problems with toys anymore.

The house motto is: If you Believe You Will Receive.  This way if children at school do not believe in Santa (or the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy, etc) and share their knowledge with my ladybugs, I know that they have a foundation to respond accordingly.  How long will their belief in magic last?  I hope forever.

I do believe to each his/her own, but I find the elf craze to be just that - a thing people think they need to do to have their children experience this "tradition".  My grandparents had an elf JUST LIKE the one that is mass produced today.  When I went to visit, my Grandma would always have to remove the elf from her shelf (top of the curio cabinet) or turn him away from me.  I guess I never liked those elves.

Just don't tell the fairies I said that.

Proud Parenting Moments

As a teacher, I am often asked, "what do you want your kids to be when they grow up?"  Most often when I say, "hairdresser" or "nail tech," I am met with scrunched up faces with blank looks.  I usually respond with, "Well, then I will know who to go to for my beauty needs!"  And what do they expect from a musician?  Seriously people!

But in all honesty, I want my Ladybugs to be happy, healthy, and kind to others.  I want them to treat others with respect, and choose a career that they enjoy (at least on some level).  Doctors, lawyers and scientists are great choices, but I will NOT feel like a failure as a parent if my girls choose a career choice that most think of as alternative like tattoo artist.

Be Kind, Be Like Christ

As you know, my Ladybugs attend a Christian school, where there is a cheer that is clapped, "Be Kind, Be Like Christ!"  The children can hear the rhythm of the 5 syncopated claps and immediately know the words to call back.  I am very thrilled that manners are taught in the school, because it mirrors what we teach at home.  Too often teachers in public schools are busy teaching benchmarks that kindness is overlooked.  In my humble opinion, if everyone treated each other with kindness, the bullying curriculum would be null and void.

Even with a mantra about kindness, I am always warmed when I hear my Ladybugs utter, "please," "thank you," and "excuse me" in front of others (especially when not prompted).  My children are also raised without entitlement - whereas many other children are not.  

Kindness On Vacation

It was no surprise to me that many of the children at the water park were pushing, shoving, shouting, and treating other children with disdain.  When I politely asked a tween to stop splashing me, I was answered with a snotty face and a tongue.  Yes, reader, she stuck her tongue out at me.  Of course her mother was nowhere near the pool - she was probably drinking a beer and texting on her phone.  This tween's behavior made me ultra-aware as a Mom, so much so that I would not allow my Ladybugs to play on a lily pad that was being fought over by a mean group of children.  My girls were saddened by my decision, but I told them it was because the children were not being kind, and they didn't want to get involved with that mess.

However, time and again, I watched as Zoe approached a line of children and asked if she was at the end of the line (not wanting to line cut).  Zoe also made friends wherever she went, as she passed the boring time of waiting with friendly conversation.  Quite often the child(ren) were surprised to have such kindness being offered, they seemed almost shocked.  Evie was very respectful of the lifeguards manning the different slides, and rather than push their limits by walking farther down the slide she immediately jumped off when told.  I was very proud of both girls.

I even noticed that when I helped a child or two get into (or out of) the pool, their parents were appreciative of my kindness.  I didn't treat the children with care to get accolades, but rather because we are all created in His image (no matter how nasty we can act).  At one point, I had a few children hanging around me just to talk - I wondered where their parents were (and if they ever talk to them like that).

Kindness Matters

It is hard to be kind to everyone - believe me many days I'd rather take off the smile and bring out the swearing tongue.  I read a quote earlier in the week that was falsely attributed to Mother Teresa.  However, what it said is what I loved about it (no matter who uttered them).  It is a quote I think we should ALL live by.

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, People may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, They may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway. (This is an adaptation of the Paradoxical Commandments by Dr. Kent M. Keith)

Have Primary Colors Changed?

When I was in elementary school, I learned about the color wheel:

I recall choosing purple and yellow to make an opposite picture in art class.  In fact, my oldest, Zoe, even learned about the color wheel in Kindergarten last year.  I realize she had an art teacher as her Kindergarten teacher, but she knows vividly what colors make other colors (i.e. red and blue make purple).

Then we took our second trip to the Wizard of Oz exhibit at the Henry Ford Museum in town.  Since we were one of the few families there on the second visit, we were able to read and participate in more of the activities available.

Here is one that frustrated Zoe to no avail, and I must add that I befuddled that such an activity existed.

So Zoe reads, "Red, Green and Blue are the primary colors.." and she says, "Mommy!  Green is NOT a primary color!"

I realize that "light" is created by red, green and blue.  However, a more appropriate way to state the above would be the following from Wikipedia:

The impression of white light can also be created by mixing appropriate intensities of the primary colors of light: red, green and blue (RGB), a process called additive mixing, as seen in many display technologies.

My issue was not at the fact that you can make light using the three colors, but they are not THE primary colors that make light; rather they are the three colors that when mixed create white light.

However, the display did not end with the above picture.

Zoe looks and says, "Mommy, Green and Red do NOT make YELLOW!"  And in all honesty, this lovely color wheel is very difficult to explain to a child who does not like to see things differently then what she has learned.  The above picture might be the "MAGIC" mixing guide, but lets be real - green and red do not make yellow on a color wheel.  

What is truly interesting, is that the original Horse of a Different Color was every color of the rainbow (red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple).  However, by doing the hands-on activity Zoe was not able to make the horse every color of the rainbow.  And white light had nothing to do with the Wizard of Oz.  

My mother, a retired school teacher, stepped in and tried to make the horse each color shown above using the knobs in the center console, and was unsuccessful.  She also suggested that with the preschool activities elsewhere in the exhibit (the average age level would be 3-5), this middle school physics concept of light was really out of place.

Just to give you a brief idea of the exhibit, I have embedded a video below from its appearance last year in Minnesota:

When does Discipline become Abuse?

Yesterday, while running errands with Evie, I heard the following dialog on Michel Martin's NPR show, Tell Me More.

Click for Transcript

I was quite curious what video was being referenced in the conversation.

Here is the video in question.  It is very upsetting, but I post it because this blog was inspired (so to speak) by its existence.



It got me thinking about spanking and what kind of methods of discipline are "okay" and which are "abuse".   When does punishment not fit the crime, for instance.  

When I was a little girl, the usual punishment was being sent to my room.  On many occasions I talked back to my mom or dad about going to my room, so often a spanking or paddling accompanied time in my room.  If I swore, my mouth was "washed" out with soap.  I clearly remember getting soap in my mouth for calling my sister a "f**k head."  I am almost certain I did not know what the "f" word meant, but I knew it was really bad.  Thus, what could be worse to call my sister?  A horrible word, plus "head".

My father received his paddles from work - when his principal was no longer able to use them as discipline.  I remember my elementary principal paddling students in his office on occasion.  I was a VERY sensitive child, so I remembered the crying and the fear of ever having to go to the office.  But should our children FEAR us?  Should they FEAR adults?  I truly believe that FEAR is not RESPECT.

I did not necessarily fear my father, but I never thought he was beating me up.  He was simply punishing me for my poor choices.  Even in retrospect, I would not have had a compelling YouTube video like the one above.  My father did not beat me up during the punishment process. My parents were both educators with plenty of child behavior training.  I truly believe in the 70s and 80s spanking your child (or paddling for that matter) was just standard practice.

Jim and I do have a punishment regiment for our girls.  A warning is given.  Sometimes the action does not warrant a warning, and moves to the next step.  A time out is given based on the age of the child  .  Sometimes Zoe will start with 6 minutes and end up serving us 30 or more minutes.  If time outs are not working, items that are loved (TV, toys, etc.) are taken away.  Zoe is our child who tries to push all buttons.  Evie has never had more time in time out than her age.  However, I will admit to smacking Zoe on the butt a couple of times for her mouthing off to me.  It gets her attention, and I only tap her bum.

So is spanking wrong?  There definitely needs to be consequences for the misdemeanor.  But I believe we live in a society that is much more lax with the severity of punishments than when I was a kid.  As much as I believe in time outs - for time to think about what you've done wrong, I also believe in explanation and time to hug at the end.  Knowing that consequences don't necessarily mean you are bad, only that you made a poor choice.

For instance: Monday evening Zoe shared with me that she had to move her clothespin at school.  She has never been in trouble at school before, ever.  Her class has a system of warning, time outs, and office time.  So "moving her clothespin" meant she made a poor choice.  However, the choice was only a warning and not repeated again to have a letter sent home.  When I asked Zoe what she did, she was oblivious to the "crime."  I knew that her teacher was not one to give consequences without definite reason, so I had Jim ask her teacher yesterday morning what Zoe did.  He was told Zoe was rambunctious and interrupted 4 times during a lesson.  Thus, her teacher had her move the clothespin to get her attention.  She never repeated the disrespectful actions, so the clothespin movement worked.  I was able to further talk to Zoe about her actions, because I believe talking and discussing is possible at 6.

So I posted the following question to my facebook friends after hearing about the judge and his 16 year old daughter:

I am wondering, my Facebook readers, when does a punishment become abuse? Do you spank? What do you do for discipline (i.e. do you have a list of punishments to fit different crimes)?

I was truly curious what my friends out in Facebook-Land did, and I really enjoyed and appreciated their comments:

• Laurie Well, at 16 the absolutely worst punishment was not being able to drive the family car.........yikes, I would rather have received 50 lashes......Yesterday at 1:27pm 
  
  
  Andrea You do NOT hit. Everyone should have learned that in kindergarten and it applies to adults.
  

  Yesterday at 2:46pm 
• Amanda There are far more effective forms of discipline then hitting or spanking...I myself have never done it. We have always used time outs and taking things away. Also I find positive reinforcement always prevents bad behavior. Anytime Olivia is going through a particularly difficult stage we bring out the old behavior chart where she gets rewarded for the good things she does and gets stickers removed for not following directions. It has always worked. There is really no need for physically punishing children.
  

  Yesterday at 3:01pm
• Joe  I would think that even those that feel spanking is necessary and/or helpful (sure, it can be effective if you're too lazy and stupid to use your brain to try to teach your kid something) would realize that THIS IS A 16 YEAR OLD!! A little kid that can't reason yet needs to be taught to not run into the street and you want to get a point across and don't think this kid is going to understand the seriousness through a conversation or a time out when you get home so there's actually reason to consider spanking, but this is an adolescent old enough to reason and think abstractly and consider consequences and sue to separate themselves for you sorry excuse for parenting. He's not mature enough to handle using his words to express his feelings to his daughter, he has to hit her?!? And this idiot is supposed to discipline the general public to teach them how to behave?? I hope his local voters are paying attention to this clown's actions.
  

  23 hours ago
• David I have only spanked my children 5 times tops each. A lot has to do with how you were disciplined. Every generation seems to be less physical with punishment. I personally feel that a hand on the butt to get their attention is OK. But grabbing something to hit with or hitting anywhere else to too much. But that's just me.
  17 hours ago
  
  

lets give 'em something to blog about...

Apparently I am not the only one stepping on a Soap Box to voice concerns over Halloween costume choices.  Halloween has passed and thus I have packed up our witches and ghost decorations (albeit most of our fall decorations are ones that last through the entire season), but the debate in my mind continues.  Why, might you ask?  Well, reader, if so many people are writing blogs against the sexy and inappropriate costumes available for children, why do these costumes continue to exist?  Either the demand is out there, or people are purchasing what the costume industry suggests.

All I had to do was Google "Inappropriate Children's Halloween Costume" and the results were amazing.

Oddee has a list of 12 most inappropriate children's costumes (view link here), iVillage chimed in with an article (view link here), the FW adds a few new ones (view link here), and The Huffington Post also made a hilarious collection of costumes on their site (view link here).

The thing is: society is laughing about Baby Hitler and Sex Kitten.  Rather shouldn't we be concerning ourselves with what IS appropriate?  Maybe encouraging (demanding) costume companies to make other, less sexy and gross, options.

However, the other day I was reading Hello Giggles (which is a great site by the way) and I came across this Blog Post from Ruby Karp.  Ruby is an 11 year old blogger, who was also having a very difficult time finding appropriate costumes to wear this Halloween.  In my opinion, 11 is still a child and in no way ready for a sexy costume.

But the true question is: are we that unimaginative that we are okay with what is presented at the local costume shops.  Maybe it is a case of time (I know that I spent countless hours making our costumes last fall), or money, or just a case of not caring.  However, after a lot of searching, I came across a most awesome site:  TAKE BACK HALLOWEEN!

And maybe that is what we parents need to do - TAKE BACK HALLOWEEN for our children.  I say children because even though there are a lot of sexy costumes for young girls, boys are also inundated with gross, violent, and inappropriate costumes too.  Does that mean we have to make costumes?  No.  But what we should not do is encourage the industry by posting how "funny" something is; or purchasing the "least sexy" option.  Make the industry change for us!

Halloween Costumes: not so innocent anymore

As a mother of a 6 1/2 year old and an almost 4 1/2 year old, I find myself often appalled at the selection of clothing (especially for the 6 1/2 year old).  For some reason, once you are no longer a toddler the options of clothing turn to street walker.  School shopping was very irritating this fall, because the majority of options at local stores were very inappropriate for a little girl.  I really think fans of Flash Dance influenced designers, because so much of the clothing almost appeared dance costume-like (tulle tutus, off the shoulder shirts, and fish net tights to name just a few).

Speaking of costumes, Halloween is a week from today.  However, in the Martin household, we enjoy participating in a few Halloween activities.  Our annual visit to Hallowe'en at Greenfield Village was Sunday evening, and it did not disappoint.  Both girls had determined they would be versions of Smurfette: Evie, the demure, blond lassie and Zoe, the evil, brunette created by Gargamel. 

Evil on the left, Good on the right

However, last Wednesday evening, a VERY tired Zoe shared that she no longer wanted to be Evil Smurfette.  Okay, I said.  Then she began to explain the costume she would prefer.  Pretty much, I determined she wanted to be the guy from the Scream movies.

Zoe's new desired costume

My answer was an unequivocal NO!

Apparently last year there were children dressed in this costume who came trick-or-treating at our home.  Scream is a rated R movie, yet Party City has the mask as their mascot.  Each time we go to Kroger or a local eatery, Holiday Grill, Zoe is reminded of that scary mask. 

After a good night's sleep, and my explanation that she had to choose from something we already had in our home, Zoe settled for a witches costume donated from their babysitter, Hannah.

I still couldn't get the idea of a 6-year-old wanting a costume from a movie she couldn't even see.  Why this desire for a non-age appropriate costume?

I realize that All Hallow's Eve was not intended to be a holiday for children trick-or-treating.  However, that is what it has been for quite some time.  When I was a little girl, most people made homespun costumes.  If they were lucky, like me, they had a mom who sewed.  Most of my friends had plastic/garbage bags with a plastic mask purchased at KMart or other retailer.  However, nowadays there are tons of options for the treat-goer...and many are completely inappropriate for children.

Halloween Express, as well as other Halloween costume companies, start sending catalogs in summer.  I always marvel at the sizes offered in the costumes.  Basically if you are larger than a 4T you are forced into costumes which are very non-age appropriate.  So the assumption is if you wear a 5T (like my Evie) or above you no longer desire to be a cute teddy bear or cuddly zebra.  This is actually why I had to create Care Bear costumes for my girls last Halloween - they only went up to a 2T!

Of course that prude in me shakes her head at a lot of the costumes each year.  Here are some of the ones that offended because they were available in sizes for my girls:

Pink Leopard (i.e. street walker with kitty ears)

Every little girl needs fish nets, right?

Covered: Yes; Illusion that she isn't? Yes

I wish i had taken a picture of a young girl's costume at the village on Sunday.  My mother said, "Oh my!  She is a bar maid...what a lovely costume...sigh."  And though it looked like this costume (which is available in adult sizes online):

my biggest jaw dropper was that her mother was right there clicking the camera like all other parents.  So am I making too big of a deal out of this?  Yes the girl was probably 10, and maybe she fit in an adult costume.  But what happened to non-slutty costumes? 

I will now step of my soap box and say a prayer for our ever-deteriorating society.  Amen.

Who wants to be a Jr. Tattoo Artist?

It's almost too easy to add this above toy to my recent Soap Box Parenting blogs.  Most recently it was regarding two little girls and their horrified faces promoting make-up for children (click here to read).

Here is the description of the above toy, which is appropriately called: Electronic Temporary Tattoo Studio.

Awesome Tattoo Art! Kids get the look and feel of real tattoos as they create awesome, washable body art with a pen that pulsates like a professional tattoo artist's! Electronic Temporary Tattoo Studio includes wrist-cuff power pack and pen, 12 interchangeable markers and 26 rubber stencils of pictures, letters and numbers. Uses 2 AA batteries (sold separately). Ages 6+.

The tagline for the Tattoo kit is: Awesome Tattoo Art!  However, on the following page there is a beginner guitar with the tagline: Start 'em Young!  Honestly, that is how I feel about the Tattoo Kit.  Really, a pulsating pen?  Is that necessary?  Because I have 5 tattoos and none of them felt like a pulsating pen (which honestly makes me think of a vibrator).   It wasn't like getting a ton of shots, as I really despise that.  However, it also wasn't something I want to share with my children.

I am almost starting to feel like a prude.  And honestly, I really am not.  When I was in college I had 5 ear piercings in my left ear and 3 piercings in the right (when I worked in the business world I removed 3 of these to look more professional).  I have tattoos, and I'm not finished with putting art on my body.  And yes, my hair has been a variety of colors, including blue and purple.  But all the piercings (besides my first and second holes) were done after I turned 18.  What I like to consider the "experimental" time in most people's lives: college. 

I suppose, for me at least, 1st grade is not the time to be experimenting with make-up, tattoos and hair color.  Yes, I have seen 6 and 7 year olds with feathers in their hair and highlite hair extensions.  Apparently there is nothing to look forward to anymore.  I had to wait until I was 8 before I was allowed to have my ears pierced.  I had to wait until high school before I had my hair dyed.  And that was only because I put Sun-In (honestly, I cannot believe I found a link on the Internet...I mean, who still uses this crap?) on my hair, sat outside all day, and looked like a crazy clown when it was all done. 

I will admit: my parents were strict.  I had curfews that made me the "odd man out" when it came to staying out past 8pm.  I remember specifically that my friend, Joe, would say, "The streetlights are on, Michelle needs to get home!"  It was funny, but annoying at the time.  However, this was also when I was 16...not 6.

I am starting to think that I am turning into a prude in my old age.  Why are girls wearing make-up to elementary school?  Why are there so many hoochie clothing options for 5 year olds (including pants that show underwear)?  And why do kids need cell phones in grade school?  Really?  Sigh.

What a scream...

Back in April I posted a blog regarding the new make-up line for young girls (Click Here), and I almost spit my coffee out when I saw the mail this afternoon.  The two girls on the cover of the current Toys To Grow On catalog, found above, were open mouthed (delighted I supposed) and over made up.  It was, well, hilarious and disturbing all at the same time.

Has this image of girls ALWAYS been present in my lifetime?  Am I just now noticing the ridiculous imagery of young girls because I am now a mom of two young ladybugs?

I just cannot get over the girl with the ridiculous amounts of makeup caked all over her beautiful little face.  Or maybe I'm just being a prude.  Dunno.

What I do know is this: I took the magazine, and recycled it prior to letting either child get a look at it.  What a sad representation of a little girl.

Wanting my Daughters to be Ladies

I enjoy the monthly Metro Parent articles and information, but today I read an article that really got me thinking.

"Silly Girls," by Lynn Meredith Schreiber, was an article about how society (i.e. celebrities, rock stars, etc.) is destroying female empowerment.  I saw the subheading, "Makeup for Kids?" and was shocked that Walmart is selling a makeup line called "geoGirl" targeted at 8-12 year-olds.  The Wall Street Journal reported on it back in February.

And I guess I wonder, why?  What happened to borrowing mom's lipstick or wearing Care Deeply lip balm from Avon.  I remember in 6th grade our class went to Fish Lake for a weekend camping trip.  We were doing little skits, and some of the girls wanted to wear makeup.  I remember my mom putting on lipstick and a bit of blush on my classmates.  I was uncomfortable to wear anything, so I didn't participate.


Of course, I was not far from wearing and experimenting with make-up.  I clearly remember one evening (I was probably 13) coming to dinner in a fully made up face.  Three shades of eye shadow (blue, purple and pink), blush and RED lipstick.  I was hoping to look more like Madonna than a 14 year old, and I think I might have aged my father a few years.

I have to disagree with the article's focus that society is worse than ever before for young girls.  I was a pre-teen (i.e. 8-12 year old) in the 80s.  Madonna, Cindy Lauper, and other punk artists were my heroes; and magazines, billboards, and TV constantly reminded me that I wasn't skinny enough or pretty enough to get a boy.  So I really don't see how that is different from today; albeit there is the Internet now.  But really, I think it has more to do with what you allow as a parent.

I believe that if your daughter is confident in herself (her inner beauty and relationship with God), then she doesn't have to wear mid-drift shirts or butt-crack-showing pants.  I want to empower my daughters with THIS kind of confidence.

My mother was (and still is) a wonderful mother.  I don't want to have people believe she is not.  However, she also was (and probably still is) too concerned with her body-image.  She was always on a diet, and I remember her making a huge deal out of what I ate and how much. My sister was super skinny, and I remember that she had to drink whole milk and eat extra calorie-rich items.  Can you imagine having a beautiful, skinny sister that could eat WHATEVER SHE WANTED!  Ah...I digress.

I am hoping (desperately) that I won't do the same to my girls.  I am currently following Weight Watchers (down 13 pounds in 7 weeks), but my girls only know that we are eating healthy.  They don't hear me talk about dieting, my weight, being fat (I never even say the word), clothes fitting (or not fitting), or see me drink odd shakes (my mother had these chocolate shakes pre-Slim Fast), or just skip lunch all together (my dad did this and still does to this day...swearing that if he eats lunch he gains weight). 

I just began reading a VERY interesting ebook called, "Core Lies."  I will blog about the entirety of the book at a later date.  Core lies are those we tell ourselves and, therefore, believe to be true without question.  I know that one of my core lies is that I'm not good enough, pretty enough, and skinny enough for others to like me for who I am.  This is why I get so hurt when I'm not able to connect with another person (mainly other women).  It is also the main reason I had such a hard time with friends, boyfriends, and others while growing up.  I could NEVER be as popular as other girls, especially my sister.  She had a ton of friends, was skinny, and was voted "best hair" her senior year.  Need I say more?

I do not want my girls to believe the same lies that I did; and thus repeat my past mistakes.  I also realize that they will make choices that I cannot control.  However, I really hope they understand the lies we tell ourselves earlier than I.

I guess there is always someone (i.e. parents) purchasing the "street walker" clothing, and the make-up.  I guess on a positive note, the geoGirls line is natural and doesn't strike me as "adult."  Sigh...my girls won't be getting anything more than lip gloss from me, Santa, and the Easter Bunny.  And if they think I'm being "mean" or they "hate" me for my standards and rules, oh well - they can take it up with God.