Not My Kid - A Year Later

It has almost been a year since I wrote "Not My Kid" and thus began the journey toward a very VERY big choice: homeschooling my ladybugs.  At this one year anniversary I want to muse about how that moment changed my life.

Regrets
They say hindsight is 20/20, and quite often when I make a choice (regardless of the time spent mulling it over) I look back and say, "I should have done things differently."  I'm not perfect, but I do try to make important decisions after much thought and prayer.  The crazy part of 2013 was that the end of 2012 seemed to be so positive: I got a job as a music teacher with the ladybugs' school, and everyone was healthy and happy...so I thought.  When I left said job in December for the Christmas break, I was at an all time career high; the Christmas pageant went amazingly and I was feeling completely loved and reassured that I was in the right place.

However, I had my rose-colored glasses on, again.  The school was on a course to destruction and I do believe there were very ill-fitted people people running the show.  People show their true colors under stressful circumstances, and the bullying that occurred only brought to light who people actually were inside.

Finding out who your true friends are can be difficult at times, but afterwards the grateful knowledge supersedes the pain...eventually.

Results
First of all, we continued to homeschool passed the summer months.  Mainly because it works for us.  The Lutheran school that "everyone" was going, in fact, did see quite a few new students and families this fall.  Of course, that was never an option for us anyway; maybe that was just the way it was always supposed to be.
I am only in contact with a few people from the school, and that's okay.  We have all moved onward down different pathways...maybe we will meet again.  For some though, I sincerely hope not.

Rhetoric
One of the reasons I left the diseased environment of the school was due to the environment itself.  Of course my blog entry Not My Kid did have a bit to do with it.  I was bullied to pull the blog post, and I was encouraged to simply turn my cheek and "make up" with those involved.  When Jim visited the school to get Zoebug's schoolwork, people approached him regarding having conversations between me and "those who hurt me" so that "the air could be cleared," and everything "could return to normal."  Normal.  What in God's name was normal about that environment in the first place?  No thank you.  Bullying is not something I take lightly, and my removing my children was, and will forever be, the best decision I made in 2013.

What a difference a year makes.

The Healing Has Begun

This week the Ladybugs and I embarked on a new journey: homeschooling.

And I have to admit, I was a bit reluctant to even think of being with my girls all day EVERY day.  But the truth is, I absolutely LOVE it.  I would have never thought it would be so satisfying and overall stress-free.

I was able to watch my Ladybugs explore science, engage in conversation about history, further develop math skills, and run and play in our backyard with our new puppy.  Laughter, giggles, and smiles accompanied their overall demeanor, and the healing allowed the stress from the toxic school environment to melt away.

A Mistaken Reason for Leaving
For most of the week after we left the school, I was asked in countless emails and phone messages to reconcile and talk through my issues.  That reconciliation and communication is the "Christian thing to do".  As much as I believe forgiveness is essential for the one who is hurting, trust is something that does not heal by simply hearing, "I'm sorry!"

Some believe my family left the school for selfish reasons on my part, and I would like to address that now.

Since the moment I took the teaching position at the school, my family has undergone stress.  I spent countless nights praying and deep thinking about what I could do to rectify the decision I made.  However, my decision to teach at the school was always for my Ladybugs, so I persevered.  I entered the new year with hope, a cleaning person, and a daughter in therapy for her anxiety.  The challenge work/life balance was definitely a difficult one, but I did feel that I could successfully finish out the school year.

However, immediately there were children talking about how they couldn't wait to attend a new school in the fall (or sooner), and parents were whispering in the hallways.  Then the letter came home with the sad news: the school was closing at the end of the school year.  My family were all saddened by the news, but the saddest part was only to come.

I have written many blog posts regarding the process I took to determine which school situation was going to be best for our ladybugs this fall.  However, doing research and developing a logic-based system proved to simply mask the hurt and anger we continued to feel regarding the closing of a beloved school.  As time went on I was shocked to find how others were acting, and I was also appalled to learn how at least a dozen families were delinquent on their tuition for the school year (some had balances that included passed years as well).  Here us "long time" families were asked to make pledges to get the school passed this "transitional year", while others were not even contributing a dime.

It was also becoming obvious that certain families did 90% of the work at the school, resulting in a huge surplus of parent hours.  Two parent families are required to work 40 hours at the school, and we already had close to 50 hours by Christmas break.  However, there were families who had a huge deficit where parent hours were concerned, and for years these families were never charged a fee for this (even though that was the supposed method of action).  This, and other decisions made contributed to my disillusioned emotions.

Then the blog hit the fan.   Interesting factoid: Our puppy, Maggie Mae, was born on February 22nd, the same day I published this blog:

Not My Child

When I was approached to pull the blog, I thought about quitting on the spot.  However, I felt that I needed to make a logical decision, and one that was best for my entire family.  I gave myself until Easter break.  There were times that I was certain that I would finish out the school year.  However, as time progressed the environment became increasingly toxic.  Evabug began to cry all the time, begging to stay home from school.  Even when I explained how fun school was, she just couldn't return to the little Ladybug she was before.  Zoebug came home with stories about other children and the teasing.  I could see that we were all affected by the death that was happening around us each day.

I believe the decision to leave when we did was the best choice we could make for our ladybugs, and therefore, myself and Jim as well.  Not the other way around.

Moving Forward
I have had people question whether I will homeschool the Ladybugs in the fall, and I simply do not have an answer for that.  I must say that I really love being with my bugs, and I look forward to the path we forge together.  I know that even if it truly wasn't the "Christian thing to do" we have made the right choice to heal as a family.

Embracing Homeschooling

Not my ladybugs, but you get the "picture"....

I have always been a very open person when it comes to lifestyles.  I have tattoos, I would like my nose pierced, and I LOVE glitter (okay maybe the last one isn't all that wild).  However, when it comes to my children I take a very conservative stand on their upbringing.  I had both in a hospital, I vaccinate, and I sent them to a private Christian school.  And that is exactly what I was providing: traditional values, traditional morals, traditional education.  However, as I have mentioned before, the environment of the school has become quite toxic.

So after weeks of uncovering more unpleasantries at the school, Jim and I are pulling the girls from the building and I will start homeschooling Monday, April 8th.

At first I was against homeschooling the ladybugs.  Why?  Because I know how they can act sometimes with each other.  Not nice.  And being together every day could potentially drive me insane.  But then a good friend of mine said that it would be special time together, time that we would always remember.  And that is exactly what I hope happens.  Good or bad, happy or sad; the time learning together will be a memory we will always treasure.

Yesterday a friend of mine, and mother to Zoebug's best friend, met for coffee.  She is also planning on pulling her daughter after Easter break.  We can help each other and keep each other's spirits up when we are feeling overwhelmed.  She plans on continuing her homeschooling in the fall.  However, my plan is to still have the girls attend the neighborhood school down the street.  But you never know!

After an emotional early morning coffee, I arrived a work and began looking through cabinets to retrieve any of my belongings.  I ran across a magnet that I have NEVER seen before.  It was a music note with scripture on it.  It touched my heart, and I believe it to be a perfect way to end this post.

"Thou shalt be secure because there is hope." ~Job 11:18

Having Faith in Myself

Over the course of the last year I feel that my heart has been torn by putting faith in other people.  So effective immediately, I have decided to put faith into my decisions and my choices.  When did I get so cautious?  When did I get so indecisive?  When?

I simply do not recall the exact moment I began to lose faith in my choices.  Maybe it was when I was no longer able to listen to the hypocritical members of our church.  A place I had trusted people with being part of my spiritual growth as well as the the spiritual growth of our Ladybugs.  I was certain my choice to be the Chair of the Board of Christian Education was the right decision for myself and my family.  I fought to keep the church alive when the former pastor was voted out.  I trusted my decisions to remain a member there even though there were plenty of trials.

Maybe it was when I was harassed by parents at our school as to my decision to send our Ladybugs to a public school in the fall.  For the last four years I have trusted my judgement of the school and those educating our Ladybugs, and in the last month I question whether or not we should have even sent the children there in the first place.  At the time it seemed to be the right choice.  I thought I was making a sound decision.  Now I wonder if I am capable of doing that.


But I might just have my grove back.

Yesterday afternoon and evening I spent time going through materials I have to homeschool the Ladybugs.  I never wanted to homeschool, I felt I'd go crazy.  But then I took a step back to look at my dining room, and I heard my dear friend, Dana, say, "This room is better than most classrooms!"  Which I realized is exactly what I have been creating without effort.  The room has two desks, a calendar, a schedule, an art wall, and a variety of manipulatives and curriculum to teach my two Ladybugs.  And I didn't even have to make a ton of effort in the process.

I have a small amount of time left to make a decision on if I will pull the Ladybugs after Easter break.  Basically I have two choices: To homeschool the rest of the school year, or continue at their school with the knowledge of its ever-growing toxic environment.  I have also uncovered the fact that there are two "schools" of thought amongst the parents.

One was the thought that God will provide.  This was the "school" of thought I was a part of in the fall.  I was hired with the idea that this school year was a transition year.  We were going to go through growing pains (i.e. people leaving), but that it would pay off in the end.  I really believed that the school was going to pull through, this time with a different curriculum and focus.

The other thought was that the school was closing at the end of this school year (or sooner).  That no matter what changes the school made, the future was inevitable.

The sad part is that these schools of thought were independent of each other.  People were making a marketing video, which was shown at the Christmas concert, when others were planning when to tell parents the news of the school closing. 

As I mentioned above, the idea of the school closing sooner is a possibility.  The school can only run if there is money, and there is not.  Once the letter of its closing was sent out, parents became stressed and frustrated.  Some decided to not pay their tuition.  I know that if the school is to make it to June, all tuition money needs to be paid.

So I have a big decision to make - homeschool the Ladybugs or remain at a school that may or may not be closing before the end of the year.  The hard part (as if there isn't enough stress already)?  Is that because I also teach there, I am supposed to act like "business as usual".  That NOTHING is different.  So far I'm doing the best I can.

I definitely hope that I can regain that faith in myself that I know I once had.  To make decisions that prove to be fruitful and beneficial for me and my Ladybugs.  Time will tell!

Not My Kid

...or Why Is It the People Who Take Heart With What I Write Are Always Those Who I'm Not Talking About In The First Place?

Zoebug and her friend, Anthony - Summer 2009

Professionally Speaking
As a private teacher I quite often have to write general emails that pertain to only a few clients.  However, I send the email in mass (i.e. to all students) to make sure I have covered all bases.  I believe information is key to any relationship, therefore, including the non-violators in the email allows all to have the knowledge.  Each time I send these emails I get people responding to make sure they are not at fault.  And the interesting thing is that I NEVER get a response (verbal or written) from the families who I'm actually trying to reach.

I have one family in particular who seems to feel the rules do not apply to them.  I am constantly on them for tuition payment and getting forms back to me.  I used to feel the mom did not appreciate what I was teaching, nor did I feel she respected my work.  However, a few weeks ago I approached her about the fact that her children were not practicing.  I told her (and the children) that I do not continue to teach students who don't practice.  I put them on probation.  The mother was very upset, because she felt they had to learn the piano.  That it wasn't just a hobby or something for fun.  She felt it was just as important as school.  I was shocked at this.  But, the children had a week off and then for the last two weeks they have practiced. I was surprised.  Of course this has nothing to do with the fact that the mother is always one if not two weeks late with her tuition payment.

Personally Speaking
Last Wednesday, I wrote a blog about how people have been showering me with their opinions about my choices for schools next fall.  Click here to read the post.  But the real kicker was after I wrote the blog, I got an email from Zoebug's teacher informing me of a situation in class.

Apparently the children had been talking about where they were going to attend school in the fall.  Even though many of the children aren't registered anywhere (I only know this because I've talked to their parents), they jumped on the bandwagon saying they were ALL going to this particular Lutheran school.  All except Zoebug's BFF.  When Zoebug (bless her honest heart) said she was not going there the rest of the children began making fun of her.  Zoebug's teacher claimed that the conversations had been going on for the last few days, but she was doing her best to divert the talk of schools.

When Zoebug came home, I proceeded to question her as to how she felt about the lunchtime talk.  She told me that it was two children in particular who lead the conversation.  There was also talk about how Zoebug should tell us we are not making the right decision by not sending her to the Lutheran school.  That she is ruining their friendships by not going to the Lutheran school.

After talking further, I realized that Zoebug didn't care that she wasn't going to the Lutheran school, but that she was hurt that her so called "friends" were not accepting of that.  Because I was bullied in school, I have a hard time not going to that place in my heart and mind.  However, I did my best to keep a clear head.  I assured Zoebug that the children in her class were not all going to attend that Lutheran school, but that I was really proud of her that she didn't lie to fit in.  We forgave the children together.  Then I went on Facebook.  Normally I like to stay away from drama, but this time I felt I needed to post something public that the parents of these children would read.

I wrote:

Heartbreaking is finding out your school is closing; soul crushing is having your daughter picked on because she isn't going to the same school next fall as many of the other students.

I had many Facebook friends comment.  One mother did ask if her son was involved.  The truth is: I wasn't there.  I don't know exactly what was said.  But I do know my daughter was teased for something that is ridiculous and completely not her fault.  And after all of that, who would want to be friends with those nasty kids anyway?

Just yesterday (over a week after my Facebook post), I was approached by two other mothers wondering if their sons were involved.  Again, they were part of the children who said they were going to the Lutheran school, but they weren't the instigators.  I reassured them that their children were not the instigators, and they assured me that had both spoke to their sons about what was being said to my daughter.  And the thing is?  I don't care that I put that as a status message.  I don't care if I was being dramatic.  Because all too often we accept the saying, "kids will be kids" and that is just parents and teachers being lazy and disrespectful of the child who is getting teased.  Just because a kid is acting like asshole, does not mean my daughter should accept that as "normal".

Yes, I just said kids can act like an asshole.  I often say (in the vein of Horton Hears a Who):

An assholes an asshole no matter how small.

Yesterday I saw a link to a video that brought me to tears.  It was a fantastic account of how a person feels when they have been the target of bullies.  I will end my blog post today with that video.  The fact is, names do hurt...

Assessment of School "N"

Just in case you read this and have the urge to kidnap our children, I have decided to call our neighborhood school "N" for "neighborhood".

On Valentine's Day we went for a tour of our neighborhood public school.  I was glad the Ladybugs could come along, especially Zoe.  She had been a victim of teasing last week multiple times, due to her response of where she was going to school in the fall.  We were already heartbroken over loosing our school home of the last four years, but my soul was crushed when I read the email from her teacher.  I am completely confident Zoe's teacher did her best to redirect the conversation when it centered around the topic of schools.  However, Zoe came home very hurt and expressed her concern that her classroom friends did not accept she would be attending a different school than many.  Actually ALL the children in her classroom (besides one other) said they were going to attend a certain Lutheran school together, even though a few families have yet to make up their minds.  The students suggested Zoe come home and tell us we needed to send her to their school, because if she didn't come the friendships would all be messed up.

I let Zoe spend Thursday at home.  She had a canine pulled at the dentist on Wednesday evening, as directed by her orthodontist, and a treatment by a dermatologist for a skin condition.  Between the two procedures and the level of teasing on Wednesday, I decided Thursday was a good day to just be together.  So Evie, Zoe and I decorated heart cookies and had tea with their cousin, Emma.  Then we picked up Jim and all went down the street to our neighborhood school.

School "N" was pretty much a small public elementary school.  I say this, because it reminds me A LOT of my elementary school - just on a smaller scale.  The principal was enthusiastic and extremely welcoming.  She gave us a brief overall of the curriculum and then took us on a tour of the school.

My personal favorite part was the fact the art room had its own kiln.  This means pottery lessons for the kids!  So exciting!  The school is a small elementary, with one class per grade in most cases.  This was reassuring, as our girls are not familiar with large classes of children nor a large school.  We met many of the teaching staff on our tour, and they were all young and seemed very friendly.  The computer lab is getting all new computers in the next couple months and the rooms are all equipped with Promethean Boards.

Zoe seemed to be engaged in the tour, and was happy with the choice when we were done.  She especially loved the idea of hot lunch EVERY day.  The principal assured us the school is a small community of close families and students.  When she found out Zoe and Eva missed their Valentine's parties, she had them come into her office and filled their arms with goodies to share.  It was completely unexpected, but also completely warm. She is Christian, gave up candy for Lent, and was happy to give the candy to the girls.  Jim and I walked away knowing it was a solid choice for our girls to attend.  As the school's leader, the principal definitely put forward her kind and caring spirit.  It was definitely a bonus in the long run.

I know our girls will miss the friendships they have made at their current school, and the relationships with the staff and families involved with running our school.  I also know they love to sing at chapel every Monday morning, learn about Jesus, and pray for their loved ones during class time each day.  Going to a public school does not allow for these special things they have come to love.  However, we have begun a daily Bible study this Lent, which has us discussing the footsteps of Jesus to the cross.  If we decide to send our girls to school "N", I would like to have a daily Bible study at the home for them to look forward each day.  

So here is the assessment results:

SCHOOL "N"

Pros
Free (already paid in city taxes)
Within Walking distance (literally a block away)
Technology is Current and Taught
Focus on the Arts (kiln located in classroom)
Very kind and Welcoming Principal
Small Building/Small Enrollment
Community of Families

Cons
Non-Christian
Larger Class Sizes (average around 23 per class/grade)

Pour Those Opinions On Me

...am I the only one singing now?

Jim and I were talking last night about how people always seem to have an opinion, especially when it comes to child rearing.

This whole decision of where to send our Ladybugs in the fall has definitely been one of heartache and prayer; one of argument and laughter; one of bewilderment and helplessness.  However, unlike "where will you send your child to preschool," or "where will they go for college?" we are faced with a decision that pulls us away from what we know and to what our children are comfortable.

I have been ill this week with a cold/sinus infection.  Evie came down with the same illness Monday while at school.  However, the community of staff and parents has been so kind.  Just knowing they are there for my girls and for me puts my heart and mind at ease.  I will miss the relationships made - maybe more than anything else.

I also see a trend with parents.  Because some families left last our school family last summer to go to another school, it seems many of our current families are planning on going there as well for the fall.  I understand their need to feel a part of a community, like I mentioned above.  It is always easier to "fit in" when you know people.  But I think the most interesting opinions I've received lately are about my choices for my girls.

An Explanation of Sorts...An Open Letter
Having a blog opens my heart and mind to whomever is interested in reading.  I'd like to say my skin is thick and negative feedback simply rolls off my back.  But the truth is, sometimes, on very few occasions, I take to heart what people say regarding my opinions.  Empathy can be a wonderful trait, but it also can be extremely exhausting.

That being said, I have had many comments lately about my choices for schooling (some on Facebook, some in emails, and some in person), and I feel it important to address these questions and concerns publicly   Not because I enjoy to stand on a soapbox, but rather because I find it easier to accurately describe myself in the written word rather than try to form my words on the spot.

It is true, reader, I grew up in the public schools.  I am not afraid of them, nor do I see the evil that lurks in them (as many concerned parents have shared with me).  I do not think poor behavior and the evils of Satan (smoking, drugs, fornication, etc.) run rapid in public schools.  In fact, I did not even know people were drinking at parties until I was in 12th grade.  Why?  Because I was not ever invited to those parties.  I was not part of that crowd of students.  And interestingly enough, most of the heaviest party-goers I knew came from the many K-8 Catholic schools in our city.  Those private school girls were also quick to smoke, and became part of the "burn-out" group as well.

If you notice, I did not lump Lutheran school girls into that group, mostly because 99% of the Lutheran school graduates I know went to a Lutheran High School in the area.  I am not suggesting that Lutheran children are exempt from the "evils," I just believe that many of the families like to see their children continue with private high school when they are completed with the 8th grade.

I have been told that Christian Schools teach Bible stories and I was incorrect with my "doctrine" verbiage.  Actually, yes many teach from the Bible.  However, by 3rd grade Lutheran and Catholic schools teach Catechism (which is doctrine based).  Remember, I grew up a Lutheran and got kicked out of Catechism twice.  I am all too aware of the narrow-mindedness of some teachings and I cannot overlook that.

I find it interesting that one would question my desire to visit a public school, when I believe my girls could be His light at the school.  Yes, there is no Bible taught in public schools.  Yes, there is a mixture of faiths.  And yes, my children would be at a non-Christ-centered school for 35 hours a week.  I completely understand how unsettling that could seem to some (many more than I had anticipated to be honest).  I do understand the concern that "reprogramming" would have to happen after those numerous hours without teachings of the Lord.  But isn't God in our hearts all day, everywhere, no matter what?

On the other hand, many private schools do not require you to sign a form that your family is Christian nor attends a Christian church.  I have Muslim piano students who are planning to attend a Catholic school in fall.  I cannot imagine they will change their faith for the school.  I also know children who attend a Lutheran school who not only are not Lutheran, but their father is Agnostic.  They do a lot of "deprogramming" at home regarding the teachings of the Bible (neither parent believes the Bible to be true).  The point is: even if the school is teaching a Christ-focused education, there are other children who are not Christians who will attend.  And some children will have parents who are not God fearing nor believe in the Bible.  And couldn't they influence my children just as easily as a non-Christian at a public school?

In fact, I believe a solid family foundation is key to a child's treatment of others AND how they view schooling in general.  Yes, I grew up in the public schools, but I have always been kind to others and my love of the Lord may have faltered at a couple of points, but it had absolutely nothing to do with public schools. I believe we all have our opinions, and it is often difficult to contain them - especially when we want to do right by our children.  But rather than try to change my opinions, maybe we could all accept that our current community is no longer going to be the same.  We will be going our different ways, but we all have one thing in common: WE LOVE THE LORD!

And that should be enough to move forward in harmony.

More Thoughts on Schools

If you are interested in viewing other blogs about this topic, please click here: School Stuff.

Another Snow Day
Yes, today we "celebrated" our second snow day of the school year.  However, this time I was not jumping for joy.  Why?  Because the snow day prevented me from having the school tour and principal interview at our local elementary school.  I tend to be a person who is open to signs from above.  Could this have been a sign that the school is not going to work for us?

Jim and I have made a couple of decisions regarding school.  We have placed Homeschooling by a Professional as our #1 choice, followed by public school (either our neighborhood school or our school of choice).  Our #1 choice does prove to be a questionable one, because in order for the program to take off there needs to have approximately 8 students.  I have been praying that other like-minded families come to the same conclusion as we have for our Ladybugs.

Homeschooling will allow my girls to continue to be a part of a small classroom of children, Christ-focused, and free to be themselves.  Both our girls are very unique, and these unique characteristics have been fostered at there current school.  Yesterday Zoe wore a 30 year old dress that was based on the style of Little House on the Prairie.  No one found this to be different or weird, in fact a few thought it to be cool.

Waiting Game
So I suppose the fall is a waiting game.  I was hoping to walk into our neighborhood school today and breathe a sigh of relief.  I wanted to feel okay with it as a second option.  Apparently I will have to wait until later this month.  And for those of you who know me, this is definitely a lesson in patience.

One School Vs. Another (part 3)

...or What is the Big Difference Between Private and Public Schools (and what about Homeschooling)?

Part 3

This post is part of a series you can read here: Part 1, Part 2.

Schooling from the Home
When I was growing up I never heard of families homeschooling their children. I do remember a child breaking a leg (or something like that) and having a teacher come to his home to tutor him.  Basically the child was out of school for a month and did his work at home with his mom and the help of a tutor.  But the first time I heard about homeschooling was when I had my music studio business many years ago.

Many of the families at the studio were homeschooling their children.  Some of the children were very socially awkward, but there were two families who completely opened my eyes to the brilliant possibilities of homeschooling.  Both families were very active in groups of other homeschooled children, and their children were extremely well adjusted and academically amazing.  

One family in particular sticks out as being (what I would consider) the poster family for homeschooling: The Crombez Family.  Their three daughters have excelled and bloomed in the homeschooling environment.  on occasion the girls would attend a traditional school for "specials", but they always came back to their home learning.  I really think homeschooling can be a fabulous way of educating your child, IF you do it right.  And just like in private schools or public schools, everything is determined by the teacher.  In homeschooling that teacher is YOU.

Me as the Teacher

And even though I do see the benefits of homeschooling, I do not believe I could live up to the family I hold as the poster family.  I know, I know, this is not a reason for not homeschooling, but for me it truly is.  I cannot imagine having the energy to provide my girls with the proper education they deserve.  I also feel my personality and Zoebug's personality are not conducive to working together.  

However, I recently became aware of certified teachers who work with students in a "one room schoolhouse" atmosphere, and get paid to homeschool.  The one I am in contact with also adds the Bible to the curriculum.  To me, this seems perfect.  My girls would be together, and with a group of other children around their ages.  They would get the benefits of homeschooling, without ME being the teacher.  I would still have control of what curriculum is taught, but I would not have to execute the instruction.  

So here are the Pros and Cons of Homeschooling as I see them:

Pros

Smaller class sizes

Freedom to learn 

Less time spent doing "classwork" 

More time for unique learning experiences

Focus on students' individual needs/learning 

Christian focused (for our professional homeschool teacher experience)

Ability to have influence and choice in curriculum my children learn

Cons

Tuition and book fees (for our professional homeschool teacher experience) 

Team Sports

Music/Art/Foreign Language/Physical Education outlets must be found in addition

One School Vs. Another (part 2)

...or What is the Big Difference Between Private and Public Schools (and what about Homeschooling)?

Part 2

In case you are interested in reading Part 1 click HERE.

So What About Private Schools

Our family has spent the last four years at a very special private Christian school in our community.  I say special because there are elements of traditional private schools that are not apparent in our school.  

There are three basic types of private schools: faith-based schools, Montessori schools and corporate owed charter schools.  Faith based schools are usually affiliated and run by a church, the charter schools are intended for a higher level of education than the public schools offered in the area, and Montessori schools are based on the research of Maria Montessori.  

Faith-Based Schools

I have researched Catholic schools, Lutheran schools, Baptist schools, and Evangelical Christian schools.  All have dress codes and I would say 99% make students wear uniforms.  All faith-based schools have tuition.  Most are around $6000-$7000 per elementary student; some cost more and some cost less.  In most cases there are additional fees for testing, books, etc.  However, I have yet to find a faith-based school that is tuition free.

My issue surrounding most faith-based schools is how the Bible is taught.  We were very privileged to have our Ladybugs attend a school in which they are taught to be free thinkers where the Bible is concerned.  They learn to ask Christ into their hearts, and they are simply taught how to be a Christian and what a Christian looks like.  They are not taught doctrine, catechism, or specific information skewed by one sect or another.  I do not like the idea of a church, priest or Christian organization running the school, and unfortunately this is the norm of faith-based schools in our area.  

I would rather maintain a Christian environment at home and have my children go to a non faith-based school than have my children learn doctrine that I have to un-teach daily.  I have heard the Christian naysayers who claim the time spent at a non-faith-based school each week (approximately 40 hours) will undo all the Christian teaching we do at home.  I completely respect this point of view, however, I believe it is child and family specific.  I like to think my children could be a representation of His light in a school with children who may not know Him.  Maybe that is me being naive, but this is my viewpoint.

Charter Schools

Charter schools tend to be tuition free, which is a nice perk, but they are not always the better school in the city/district.  I came across a lot of research on our local charter schools that did not make me want to run to register the Ladybugs.  The charter schools in our area tend to focus on our multicultural community.  Many cater to the needs of our Muslim community.  The children are taught the basics and also taught about their culture.  I do not see this working for our family. 

Montessori Schools

I know quite a few families who love the Montessori schools in our area.  Most are not tuition free, and one is a public school which has both facets of a public school and a Montessori school.  I do like the idea of mixed aged classrooms and student directed learning.  However, I believe that our girls would not benefit from a school like this.  Zoe has so many anxieties and I know she would be comparing herself to the other children, and stressing about not excelling as high as another student.  Evie would simply not care if she didn't move forward in an activity.  She would rather create and spend the day with art than anything else.

Due to the fact we are not interested in the Charter Schools or Montessori Schools in our area, I have decided to do the Pros and Cons list of ONLY Faith-Based Schools.

Pros

Christ centered

Smaller class sizes

Comfortable/familiar environment

Caring environment

Cons

Uniforms

Tuition

A sizable drive to school

In many cases teachers do not need to be certified

Church/Priest run schools

One School Vs. Another (part 1)

...or What is the Big Difference Between Private and Public Schools (and what about Homeschooling)?

Part 1

I never had to drive in a school bus, and neither will my girls.

To be perfectly honest, I have been thinking about schooling a lot lately.  I am NOT over exaggerating either, I sincerely need a break from my brain from residing in education world.  But I have come to a higher level question: what exactly is the difference between a public school, a private school and homeschooling?

Let's Begin with Public School
I have never had a visceral issue with the public school system.  I am a product of the public school system, and I do not feel I had a poor education.  My parents were public school teachers, and my grandfather a principal.  Jim, the Ladybugs and I are privileged to live in a city with an above average public school system, which also just so happens to be where I grew up.  I am a researcher by nature, so I have seen the test scores, and I'm not thrilled with our neighborhood school.  But I also hate standardized tests, so I definitely feel it is essential to meet with the principal and take a tour of the school.

While considering public schools as an option for the Ladybugs this fall, it is completely impossible to not think about my childhood.  I always say that we remember the best and the worst in our lives, and teachers are no exception.  I must say that I can remember vividly the bullying, the nasty piers, the Girl Scout meetings and trips, the piano lessons and the bad teachers.

There was the gym teacher in junior high who taught American History and told us that BC was Before Christ and AD was After Death, instead of Anno Domini (the year of our Lord).  Then there was my fourth grade teacher who said I was the "ring leader" in a class-wide cheating ring.  I had an ex-nun in nine grade as an Algebra teacher who was extremely mean and made fun of students, and an English teacher senior year who marked my paper wrong when I wrote "dawn" instead of "morning".  I also had a music teacher in junior high who carried a bottle of alcohol in his briefcase and another music teacher in high school who told me I was a selfish and spoiled rotten bitch.  But this was over 13 years of schooling with approximately 70 or more teachers in all.

I remember instances in which my parents complained to the principals or when my father accompanied me to a school board meeting.  But overall my education was wonderful, and I remember teachers who worked extremely hard at their job.  My Kindergarten teacher, Miss Wetmore was and still is one of my heroes.  Therefore, I believe it was never the school, but the teachers who determined whether or not I was learning.

This being said, I want to discuss my views of our public schools.

I believe in education for everyone, not just the privileged.  Choosing to send our Ladybugs to a private school was never because we felt elite, it was because we felt called there.  It felt right.  But rumors and hearsay can definitely scare a person from sending children to a public school.  What exactly could my children learn?

One of the big issues of public schools is the quality of education.  Some cities are poor and therefore their public services are weak.  Our city is a product of our current economy, as many of the families work (or used to work) for the automotive industry.  There are wealthier neighborhoods and there are poorer, working class neighborhoods in the city.  The neighborhood schools are a direct reflection of the quality of individuals living in said neighborhood.  That being said, we do not live in the poorest neighborhood, rather a "middle of the road" one.

Currently public schools in our state have different requirements for teachers then when I was attending schools (I graduated from high school twenty years ago).  Teachers are no longer able to teach subjects that aren't their major (or minor in some cases).  Therefore, clueless gym teacher from my childhood would NEVER be able to teach an American History class nowadays.  Historians have also created BCE and CE in recent years, maybe to stop the confusion of clueless people.  There are also many rules in place for bullying in schools; for students as well as teachers.  Teachers swearing at students or calling them names would NEVER get by anymore.

The List
I have decided to make a list of PROS and CONS for each option were are researching.  Here is my list for Public Schools (using our neighborhood school as the choice at this point).

PROS

• Close Proximity (within walking distance) 
• Free
• Band/Choir/Art
• Neighborhood children attend
• Certified Teachers
• After School Programs
• Our Tax $ being used
• Variety of ethnic backgrounds

CONS

• Lower test scores
• Larger class sizes
• Emphasis on standardized tests
• Children from all different economic backgrounds
• non-Bible or Christ focused