My Grocery Stories

or Stupid Questions People Ask at the Grocery Store

I used to go grocery shopping all the time, that was before I had a music studio in Plymouth.  Then, Jim did the shopping on Tuesdays after work.  Once the kids came, he took them shopping on Saturday mornings while I taught lessons.  However, this summer I have been redesigning our schedule to make the most sense and waste the smallest amount of time possible (if that is even an attainable goal).  Anyway, the girls and I have been going on Friday mornings (which I can continue to do alone once school starts).  Due to our vacation last week, we were in desperate need to go today rather than waiting tomorrow.  And for the Nth time I was asked, "Are they twins?"  I have come to answer it many different ways - in fact, I am hoping to get ideas from readers as to what I should respond when asked this question.  Keep it clean please.

But the new comment I get at least once a visit is either, "Is this your once-a-month visit?" or a bit more direct, "Are all these groceries for ONE week?"  I am also asked how many children I have at home, I assume to add to the two mouths who are tagging along.  I suppose if I had 7 children, my loaded cart would be acceptable, maybe.  And I wonder, am I the only one who gets asked this question?  Do I purchase an abnormal amount of weekly groceries?

I will admit that some weeks we need more than others, especially when we need paper products or cleaning products.  However, I am baffled at the fact people would think my full cart is for more than a week of meals.  Jim has commented that maybe most families go out to eat multiple times during the week - breakfast at McDonalds, dinner at Wendys, etc.  And maybe that is the case, but I am still amazed at that my amount of groceries would provoke such ignorant questions.  Why is it that wanting to home cook meals for my children such an anomaly?

Why Do People Ask Questions?

I have begun to wonder why people ask those kind of questions at all.  We went to breakfast before the grocery store and a woman asked why I have Zoe's hair without bangs and Eva's hair with bangs.  I was like...um...because they LIKE their hair different.  Why would I make my kid have their hair a certain way?  REALLY?!

Maybe it is because people are curious, and maybe they are down right rude.  I don't know.  I do know that I'd like to have better come backs to the ridiculous questioning - which has only become more frequent as the girls have aged.  So I'm totally up for suggestions! :)

What strange questions have YOU been asked?

Get Your Priorities in Order

I recently signed up to start the HelloMornings Challenge on Monday, August the 20th.

Part of the process is to go through the Inspired to Action's Maximize Your Mornings handbook.  It is a program that focuses on reclaiming your mornings.  As moms we tend to focus on the house and the children and the meal planning, but what if we could spend time in the morning BEFORE the children awoke?  What if that time included exercise, daily planning, and time with the Lord?  Sounds too perfect to be true, at least with my experience of getting startled awake at 6am with a little finger poking at (or up) my nose.

At the same time I've been perusing the handbook, I received an email from The Power of Moms.  The Power of Moms is a group I'm friends with on Facebook as well.

The email had an article attachment called, "Seven Questions for Clarifying Our Top Priorities."  And I began to wonder, what would my friends answer to the question:

What Are Your Top Priorities?

I KNEW the answer of #1 SHOULD be God. But I was super impressed with what my friends answered. We are all so unique that their answers completely reflect their individuality. Here are some answers:

Karen: Supposed to put God first - but I have a tough time with that. Usually ends up being kids/job first - then husband/house, then me, then God. If I ever figure a way to turn that upside down I'll probably be a happier person. 

Amanda: I think by putting your family/husband first you are in fact putting god first....leading a christ like life to me means giving of yourself to those who need you like jesus would...thus putting god first. That's how I think of it anyways....I think being pro active about gods word is about getting out there and making a difference...would god want me studying scripture all day or out in the world sharing his love...just how I feel 

Jennifer: My kids, my husband, my family, my career/students... 

Jahna: My family, depending on who needs me when, friends, my fur babies, the communities I serve online as well as my non profit organization.. 

Kelly: Right now I am putting me first.. been a long time coming. Otherwise my partner/family then career. 

Casey: Family...Work...Friends...and last but not least ME. ;-) 

David: work,house,food, of course,with kids,they get the first extra.

The Way They Fall

So I suppose you are wondering what my priorities are (they way they CURRENTLY fall in my world).

1. MY LITTLE FAMILY: with kids USUALLY taking the front seat, but I am doing my best lately to put hubby first at least 50% of the time.

2.  MY HOME: Doing daily/weekly maintenance: Getting dishes done, laundry done, cleaning done, beds made, food on the table, etc., as well as yearly maintenance: painting, upgrades, etc.

3. MY EXTENDED FAMILY: which includes blood relations and fictive kin (click here for definition)

4. MY CAREER: teaching, writing, etc.

5. MY SPIRITUAL, EMOTIONAL, and PHYSICAL NEEDS: This is a sad but true reality.  I'm hoping that reclaiming my mornings will push this up to number 3 at least.  My fingers are crossed.

So what are your current priorities?  What do you wish were your priorities?  How can you change this?

Proud Parenting Moments

As a teacher, I am often asked, "what do you want your kids to be when they grow up?"  Most often when I say, "hairdresser" or "nail tech," I am met with scrunched up faces with blank looks.  I usually respond with, "Well, then I will know who to go to for my beauty needs!"  And what do they expect from a musician?  Seriously people!

But in all honesty, I want my Ladybugs to be happy, healthy, and kind to others.  I want them to treat others with respect, and choose a career that they enjoy (at least on some level).  Doctors, lawyers and scientists are great choices, but I will NOT feel like a failure as a parent if my girls choose a career choice that most think of as alternative like tattoo artist.

Be Kind, Be Like Christ

As you know, my Ladybugs attend a Christian school, where there is a cheer that is clapped, "Be Kind, Be Like Christ!"  The children can hear the rhythm of the 5 syncopated claps and immediately know the words to call back.  I am very thrilled that manners are taught in the school, because it mirrors what we teach at home.  Too often teachers in public schools are busy teaching benchmarks that kindness is overlooked.  In my humble opinion, if everyone treated each other with kindness, the bullying curriculum would be null and void.

Even with a mantra about kindness, I am always warmed when I hear my Ladybugs utter, "please," "thank you," and "excuse me" in front of others (especially when not prompted).  My children are also raised without entitlement - whereas many other children are not.  

Kindness On Vacation

It was no surprise to me that many of the children at the water park were pushing, shoving, shouting, and treating other children with disdain.  When I politely asked a tween to stop splashing me, I was answered with a snotty face and a tongue.  Yes, reader, she stuck her tongue out at me.  Of course her mother was nowhere near the pool - she was probably drinking a beer and texting on her phone.  This tween's behavior made me ultra-aware as a Mom, so much so that I would not allow my Ladybugs to play on a lily pad that was being fought over by a mean group of children.  My girls were saddened by my decision, but I told them it was because the children were not being kind, and they didn't want to get involved with that mess.

However, time and again, I watched as Zoe approached a line of children and asked if she was at the end of the line (not wanting to line cut).  Zoe also made friends wherever she went, as she passed the boring time of waiting with friendly conversation.  Quite often the child(ren) were surprised to have such kindness being offered, they seemed almost shocked.  Evie was very respectful of the lifeguards manning the different slides, and rather than push their limits by walking farther down the slide she immediately jumped off when told.  I was very proud of both girls.

I even noticed that when I helped a child or two get into (or out of) the pool, their parents were appreciative of my kindness.  I didn't treat the children with care to get accolades, but rather because we are all created in His image (no matter how nasty we can act).  At one point, I had a few children hanging around me just to talk - I wondered where their parents were (and if they ever talk to them like that).

Kindness Matters

It is hard to be kind to everyone - believe me many days I'd rather take off the smile and bring out the swearing tongue.  I read a quote earlier in the week that was falsely attributed to Mother Teresa.  However, what it said is what I loved about it (no matter who uttered them).  It is a quote I think we should ALL live by.

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, People may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, They may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway. (This is an adaptation of the Paradoxical Commandments by Dr. Kent M. Keith)

Drum Roll Please....

Finally, I have a few moments to post the updates we have done to the basement.  It has been a very stressful and frustrating process from the asbestos tile removal to the fact Zoe had the stomach flu on Monday and I wasn't able to wash the linens.  But it is done - pretty much.  And tomorrow we are headed up north to Traverse City for a mini get-away.  Two days late, but better late than never right?

Here is a picture of my amazing husband, Jim, in his hazmat suit:

Here is the floor before removal:

And here is the floor after Jim's hard work:

Here is the beautiful vinyl tile right after the installers left:

I also received the ladybug vinyl stickers in the mail....so...it was time to do another cool project.  Here is the way my washer and dryer looked before:

I had so much fun deciding where to put each little bug.  I just had the best time, and these results were very quick.

And here is the complete room - after the renovations. I am in love with it.

Thanks for reading!

Reorganizing the Pantry

Yesterday I reorganized the basement pantry.  Our home, as I have mentioned on many occasions, is from 1923 and lacking in storage or "normal" spaces.

When we moved in 10 years ago, we decided to utilize the spaces under our front porch.  Originally used to store coal, the little rooms under the porch are perfect for a pantry, totes, and storage in general.  The big issue is that moisture gets in, and salt forms on the walls and floor.  *I realize this would be the perfect time to show a picture of the salt, but my camera was dead yesterday morning and I did not get the image.*

In May 2011, I participated in 31 Days to Clean and purged a ton from the pantry area.  The end result looked like this:

Not horrible, but over a year later the can area on the second shelf had taken on a life of its own.  Again, I wish I had been able to take a picture.  Technology is so frustrating sometimes.

My biggest gripe with the old shelving was that it was missing a shelf (as you can see on the right side).  Another issue was that I could not get a broom or sweeper vacuum under the shelves, so the stuff on the bottom left is actually sitting on the ground.  This means little critters were able to make their homes in and around my stuff.  The other issue, but not as pressing, is that the canned goods area was very hard to see what we had/needed.  If I am to keep a good pantry, I need to know what I have and what is needed to stock it.

So what was the solution?

First I needed to purchase a new shelving system.  When I Googled pantry storage the one store that came up the most was IKEA.  I found this unit to be quite nice:

I measured the area and knew I would need to of these shelves to make the space work for me.  I needed to take the Ladybugs out of the home on Saturday, because Jim was removing the asbestos tile in our basement.  They chose Jungle Java, so I thought after a morning of jungle play and Wendy's for lunch we would make our inaugural visit to the IKEA store nearby.

My Trip to IKEA

I knew the IKEA store was an experience, but I had no idea it would be so overwhelming.  It was kind of like Target on crack.

Upon entering the store, there was a huge escalator.  The Ladybugs were so excited, so we went up.  But then Zoe had to pee.  Since I have never been to IKEA before, I had to be a newbie and follow the signs.  There was so much stuff - showrooms with ideas, as well as stuff.  STUFF EVERYWHERE!

We finally found our way to the restroom, which was located near the cafeteria.  I have never seen so many people eating at once.  The noise level reminded me of being in 4th grade and eating lunch in the school cafeteria.  Of course, again, it was amplified dramatically.  We weren't at IKEA to eat, and our quick tour of the showroom area proved to be unproductive.  The Omar shelf was on the main level - figures.

When we descended the stairs, there was a craft going on below.  And we all know how the Ladybugs LOVE their crafts!  The craft was spin art, and I must say it was super cool!  Now mind you, we have yet to find the shelving unit, and my girls are spending time making a craft.  Yes, we spent 20 minutes in that area.  However, it was long enough to talk to a VERY lovely woman who gave me the low down on how the shopping works.

Some items you get immediately - as you pass the area.  However, many larger items (like my Omar shelf) have tags with numbers on them.  You must write the number down and at the end of the IKEA journey you go to a huge warehouse and locate your item(s).  I was quite thankful to her assistance, however, I really just wanted to go home.  I was also told we HAD to purchase the cinnamon buns, so I kept that in mind as well.

The craft seemed to put the Ladybugs in a great mood, so we successfully located the shelf, went to the storage are, pulled two off the shelf, and I decided to also get two of the little baskets as well:

The Pantry Reorganization

Yesterday I pulled the old shelving unit and pantry items out of the room.  Then I gave the walls and floor a new paint job.  Once I was completed with that, I spent time up-cycling two mason jar boxes.

When I put everything back, I tried to focus on putting the stuff I used the most on the top self, and making certain that the canned items were grouped by veggies, fruit, and soup.

I then laid down a carpet and called it complete. 

Today the guys are coming to lay the vinyl flooring.  I suppose that is a blog for another day - but wish us luck as we give this old girl new life.

In a Post Modern Feminist World

I was born into a home with a mom who did everything.  She sewed our clothing, she baked cookies at least once a week, she made every meal from scratch, and even played with us crazy girls.  My sister and I were 19 months apart, and couldn't be any more different.  I guess you could compare us to my Ladybugs - best friends one minute and worst enemies the next!

I was raised with Christian values, and I had an educationally rich and loving childhood.  Looking back, I had a very wonderful upbringing, of course at the time I felt deprived.  We didn't own an Easy Bake Oven, nor a Slip and Slide; we never drank Koolaid, nor did we get that Starwars AT-AT that was on my wish list.    But what we did have was two parents who lived for us, unselfishly.  I never would have guessed that being a girl wasn't a great thing, even during Sunday School and the like.

I suppose the first time I knew there were double standards was when my male friends, Mike and Joe, were able to stay out later or take the car more often.  My parents claimed it was because, they were boys.  I was disgusted at the time, but my parents also had double standards for my sister and I.  So I came to just accept (though not without groundings) that things were different for me.

I just finished The Dance of the Dissident Daughter, by Sue Monk Kidd, and I must say I was definitely inspired to do some soul searching.  Do I live a life reflective of a predominately patriarchal society?  And worse yet, am I teaching this to my Ladybugs?

Carolyn Heilbrun as written about the "scripts" for womanhood that are handed to women to live out, culturally defined scripts that are written in advance and passed to females from birth.  And historian Gerda Lerner writes that men and women live on a stage, acting out their assigned roles.  They play can't go on without both of them... ~Sue Monk Kidd

If this is true, what "scripts" have my Ladybugs been given?  Do they have any clue they are growing up in a patriarchal society?  I had no clue at their age.  I have always fed their interests, whether that be dressing up or playing with legos.  I think "traditional" female roles are a thing of the past.  These roles began to crumble in my mother's generation; however, my mother felt compelled to take on the role of Mom-Who-Does-Everything.  I'm not so sure that is the right answer either.

Kidd illustrates her journey to The Feminine with different mythological stories and artistic symbolism.  I think one of the most interesting allusions was to the "mother line" illustrated in a Matryoshka doll (Russian nesting doll).  Each layer of the doll represents a mother throughout generations.  For what it is worth, I love Russian nesting dolls and each Ladybug has a set along with a beautifully written and illustrated book.

I am hoping to describe the beauty of the line of matrons in our family.  How interesting it would be if our histories were told by the line of women and not men?

Sorting Out Life - One Load at a Time

Recently I read a blog post (10 Habits of a Clean Home) that got me thinking - how often does the normal person wash clothing?  In the post, the writer suggests doing one load of dirty laundry a day to keep organized and efficient.  I decided to go to the masses, and ask my friends on Facebook what they thought.  The question was - How often do you do laundry? The four answers to choose from were:

1. every day

2. every few days

3. once a week - laundry day

4. when I run out of clean clothes

5. laundry?  A fairy does that, right?

And the verdict?

Cleaning is Very Personal!

Just like anything else in this world - how often one does laundry, or dishes, or mows the lawn is based on their personal needs and desires.  In fact, I have two children so my laundry is much more in volume then that of a single person's.  And if you have 7 children like my friend Rhonda, laundry is viewed much differently.  Rhonda comments:

"Laundry??? What is that? I have to do about 2-5 loads of laundry every day to keep up with clothing, linens and towels and blankets too."

However, even with children making loads of laundry actually accomplishing one load per day is an impossibility.  My friend Casey explains:

"Since I work full time, I only have time to do laundry on the weekends along with the rest of the house cleaning. If I have a day off during the week, I will through a couple of loads in to give me less to do on the weekend."

When I was a little girl, there was always a laundry day: Monday.  That was a day my mom did all the laundry in the house.  From clothing, to linens, to bedding - my mom laundered, folded and put away all the dirty laundry.  She also spent a day ironing my father's shirts and many other clothing items as well.  Even though the importance of ironing was not passed down to me, allocating a day for laundry did.

However, in lieu of the blog, I decided to try and do a load of laundry a day.  Of course that worked for Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, but then today came (the normal day I do laundry) and I had 4 loads.  As I write this, my last load is in the washer.  However, the reality is that one-load-a-day can lower the amount of laundry that has to be done per week, but all in all it still is LAUNDRY.  Maybe the one-load-a-day method tricks you into thinking you are doing less, which is very possible with me.  However, I'm not entirely sure that my house is more efficient or organized adhering to the method.

I must say that I was happy no one voted for the last option (fairies doing the clothes).  Of course, I know some children (and husbands) who do not realize what a stay-at-home mom does during the day.  And there are many assumptions about the delineation of tasks in a home.  More women (even working women) tend to do the laundry then men.  Maybe the one-load per day method would encourage more delegation in families with older children?  Quite possibly I'll have to try this once the Ladybugs are older.

How often do you do laundry?