Gone Are the Days of the Mixtapes

On Sunday, the Ladybird and I were on a return trip from Ann Arbor.  Ladybird, for those who do not know, is my "new" 1996 Pontiac Bonneville.  She is full of the latest bells and whistles, but only those offered in 1996.  One of those features is a lovely stereo and tape deck.  As the radio played I found myself reminiscing about the days of the mixtapes.

I vividly remember sitting at my stereo, which had a turn table and a double tape deck, waiting for my favorite song to play.  Quite often the song would be truncated by some obnoxious DJ, but I would tape it anyway.  I also remember making my first mixtape....

In high school I had this huge crush on an upper class man named Jessie.  Jessie's brother, Johnny, was dating my sister and we were lab partners in Chemistry.  I found out that he loved The Beatles, and I decided to make a mixtape for a birthday gift.  I took records from my mom's collection, and listened to all the songs over again and again.  I carefully selected the songs to be used, and then spent countless hours making the recordings seamless.

I was so proud to hand the tape over to Jessie.  Of course he was kind enough, and he didn't make fun of me to my face, but I know that his friends were laughing as I walked away.  He told me it was a really cool gift, but we never were more than acquaintances and lab partners.

Years later I was driving in my sister's car and the Beatles were playing in her tape deck.  The songs sounded VERY familiar.  I would know exactly what song would follow.  So I asked her where she got the tape and she told me she got it from Johnny years before.  Apparently many people who were friends of Jessie's and Johnny's had a copy of the mixtape I made, which in a strange way made me feel pretty awesome.

In college I dated a guy, named Marshall, who made me a mixtape (AND he wrote me a song too).  He told me each song on the tape was selected especially for me.  That he had spent a lot of time creating the best song list for how he felt about me.  I actually loved many of the songs on the tape, and played it over and over and over again.  I also felt very special that someone took the time to select a special song list for me.  Awhile later we broke up, but I still enjoyed listening to some of the songs on the tape.  Not because it reminded me of him, but because some of the songs were pretty great.

Marshall and I hung out in the same group, and one night we were all out at the karaoke bar that we frequented.  Marshall's current girlfriend was telling some of the group about this awesome mixtape she had been given.  That the songs were created especially for her.  I figured making a mixtape was just something Marshall did, that is until she began to name the songs on the tape.  I asked if I could see the tape cover and she said okay.  The two of us went out to the parking lot and shared our tape covers with each other.  And you know what?  The tapes were exactly the same.  Nothing was different.  Each song Marshall carefully selected for me, was in fact the same ones he selected for her.

We sat in silence for a few moments, and then we began laughing hysterically.  Because from that point forward neither of us would be persuaded by a mixtape ever again.

But I have to wonder what teens do today to share music with each other.  Do they make MP3 lists?  Or do they make videos of them listening to music and post to Youtube?  Whatever the case might be, technology has definitely changed the way we listen to music, and thus how we share it as well.  I must say that I kind of miss the days of mixtapes decorated in stickers, the hopeful hearts and the time spent carefully crafting the perfect song list.  But I suppose that is what happens as one ages...nostalgia kicks in.

In Lieu of A Monthly Wrap Up

Over the last few months I have come to realize our home is not just a haven for us, but a haven to many.  I am pleased that our home is full of love, and that all creatures feel comfortable here.  There are moments when I am enjoying a cup of hot coffee and I look around to find cats are meowing happily, kids playing and singing with joy, and... okay, lets be real - it is a complete fantasy.

However, our home seems to be the place everyone and everything wants to be.  Not a day goes by when I haven't bandaged up a child's boo-boo, placed an ice pack on a bump, settled a dispute, chased a ball across our busy street, chased a dog around the backyard to give back a toy, made an extra pb and j for a hungry mouth, said, "no," to a child begging for another sweet.  But sometimes this joyful chaos feels like my mantra should be:

And there are times I think, "God, why on Earth did I commit to homeschooling my children and continuing with my teaching business?"  And then I hear a giggle, a "thank you, Mommy" or "thank you Miss Michelle," and I think, "Yes, I can do this...I can provide the loving environment that my girls and other children (and critters) need."

I find balance in the chaos by reassuring moments that remind me why I wanted to be a teacher and mother. Those moments are not always there - believe me I'm not perfect nor are my children - but they are the essential ingredients in my life as a Mother and Teacher.

August Wrap-Up

August proved to be a very relaxing month.  My surgery was not as successful as I had hoped.  I am still leaking.  The doctor told me it was from the surgery, but I am thinking it is also urine.  I go to the doctors on Friday, so hopefully at that point I will have more information.

Now for the standard wrap-up:

Goal #1: Read all seven Harry Potter books on my new Nexus 7 tablet. Read as much as possible.

I read two enjoyable books: Mennonite in a Little Black Dress and The Wednesday Sisters.  I also received all our curriculum and made certain what was required of me.  I was also very privileged to win a free ticket to a week-long homeschool webinar.  It was super informative, and I loved having the opportunity to connect with people, and get energized to teach this year.

Goal #2: Reclaim my body - mentally, physically, and emotionally.

I have started to walk distances again, and it does help my moods.  As for losing the weight...ugh...lets not go there.

Goal #3: Give more.

Our financial donation was to The Henry Ford.  However, during the month my girls and I donated towels to the animal shelter and they raised money with their friends for St. Jude.  I am currently chairing up a mini mission at our old church (which is our current church too) for the Ronald McDonald House Charities.  I never found a replacement church, and I need to be with people who are open to whom they accept (i.e. everyone).  I am not comfortable in a church that picks and chooses scripture to support their views.  I also feel women need to have an opportunity to pastor, not simply pushed to the side.

And another month begins....

Having the Confidence to Homeschool

I think one of the greatest hurdles I had to get over was the concern I would not be able to adequately teach my Ladybugs.  Granted I teach piano and voice, I do have some pedagogy classes under my belt, I've taught in a classroom setting, and I was always a very bright student.  However, it is difficult to transfer that into successful teaching of my own daughters.  

We are very lucky, because in Michigan there are not the same restrictions with homeschooling as there are in other states.  If you are interested in which states require what you can click here: HSLDA

I began to consider if I was any less intelligent or educated than those with degrees in teaching.  And I realized that even though I never took education classes at a college, or special pedagogy classes, or classes designed to help organize and manage a classroom, I have been teaching for over 20 years.  I have taught Kindermusik, group piano, theory, choir, music at a K thru 8 school, private piano, and vocal training.  Plus I have been the music director for multiple shows, and an accompanist for many different situations.  I have a lot of teaching experience.  Maybe I have not taught reading, or history, or astronomy, but I have taught my children about our world, and how to take care of themselves and others.  I have taught them many MANY things in their little lives, so why not add a few traditionally school taught subjects as well?

The other thing is education doesn't make a person better at their job.  I have had some really HORRIBLE teachers in my past, as I have blogged about before: CLICK HERE

The point is: I can do this.  And I am confident this is the right choice for my Ladybugs.

The Netflix Binge

Santa Clause gave our family a new Blue Ray player for Christmas, and thus we got Netflix to join in the fun.  At first Jim and I watched old Twilight Zone episodes, and had fun introducing the Ladybugs to Jem and old Spiderman episodes.  Then Jim and I enjoyed the newest season of Arrested Development, and also journeyed through seasons of Breaking Bad.  However, upon the completion of Orange is the New Black, I have found myself obsessed with Parks and Recreation.

I will admit that season one was fair if not poor in its execution, however, by season two Parks and Rec found its rhythm.  Each night we watch four episodes, give or take, and I cannot get enough of the characters.  I feel as if they are part of my world and we are all friends.  I have become a binge television viewer.

 
Binge watching seasons of television shows makes me wonder if I would be as obsessed by the series if I had to wait a week for a new episode.  Take Lost for example, I think my brain appreciated the week between episodes.  I was able to discern through the information presented, and determine what I thought was the real story.  Lost gave such fantastic cliffhangers that if I binge watched the show I may have not been as satisfied with the plot.  However, I have to state that the finale was really horrible and in no way how the series should have ended.  Breaking Bad is similar to the intensity of Lost, with its plot twists and turns and the deep character development.  After a couple of nights of watching episodes, I am compelled to watch a documentary or two.

In the same vein, I truly believe that my obsession with Parks and Rec would not be near as so if I had to wait a week between episodes.  Instant gratification is something I'm not used to, but something I am getting very comfortable with.

   

When we gave up our cable television a couple weeks ago, I was afraid that I would miss it.  Truth is, I don't.  Probably due to the fact I am currently obsessed with Parks and Rec.  However, it is so convenient and inexpensive to watch through an antenna and through a service like Netflix, I cannot imagine ever needing cable again.  

I remember the summer we got cable installed at our home.  I was eight, and my sister and I spent countless hours watching and rewatching Grease 2.  At the time, I had no idea what was being suggested in "Lets Do It For Our Country," nor did I find it repulsive that a person would have to change his identity to impress the cool girl.  I also remember watching The Incredible Shrinking Woman that same summer, as well as shows about circus acts from the 1800s.  I have been trying for years to find a youtube video of Lavinia Warren, General Tom Thumbs wife, singing "Beautiful Dreamer," but I have never been able to find that song Kelly and I remember from the show.  

That was when cable was new and exciting, and possibly fifty stations (maybe).  There was no recording, there was no pausing to go to the bathroom, and there was no rewinding to see a scene again.  I remember nine years ago when I was pregnant with Zoe, I was encouraged to get a DVR.  The DVR really did change the way I watched television, but I must say Netflix has revolutionized how a watch a television series.  No longer do I need to purchase the entire season on DVD, nor do I have to set the DVR to tape a particular show.  I simply search for the title and start the viewing process.

I wonder how many people binge watch like me.  Maybe this has been going on for years, and I am just now jumping on the bandwagon.  But, believe me, I cannot imagine watching TV any other way.

The Past Meets the Present

Today the Ladybugs and I have exactly two weeks of summer vacation left, and I am slowly coming to terms with starting a new school year.  In fact, I start teaching piano and voice next Tuesday, which means I only really have a week left of lazy summertime.

I have made some changes in the design of my homeschooling space - moved furniture, altered the placement of the existing furniture, and have begun to wrap my brain around a full week of homeschooling. I was even lucky to look through our curriculum, and set up a high level schedule for the school year.

Zoe and Evie's Kindergarten teacher came to visit us today.  She brought all over Evie's papers and such from the end of the school year.  I had contacted her through email and phone back in March, but I now realize that she wasn't avoiding me but just trying to save her own job, and/or finding a new one.  The school situation was heartbreaking for everyone involved, including her.  This woman, whom shall be called Barb, has always been a fantastic supporter of mine.  In fact, she was pleased to announce she will be teaching homeschool art in her new home art studio.  I'm really excited for her - and us (even though we already signed up for a fall art class, there is always future possibilities).

As much as I enjoyed our brief visit, I started having panic attacks last week as I remembered the hell my family experienced at school last year.

It has now been almost five months since I pulled the Ladybugs and quit my part-time job as music instructor at their private Christian school.  Some felt I left as a result of the blog post from February 25th: Not My Kid, in which I described the bullying that was taking place at the school.  Some parents sent beautifully written letters and note cards about how they will miss me and my family.  But most have never spoken to me, and have physically avoided me in grocery stores and other public places.  However, the sad part is that even after I was bullied by parents and my Zoe was bullied by students, I was bullied by the administration of the school.  I was not certain how other teachers felt, but I was pleased to have the opportunity to talk to Barb.
 
Barb suffered a lot of heartache herself, as she had been at the school for a very long time.  She was the matriarch of the school, and she also taught art classes.  The Kindergarten thru 8th grade classrooms have been replaced by a larger preschool, but Barb was overlooked for the job.  She definitely deserved the opportunity, but the administration was as narrow-minded as always.  They had their chosen few to run the program, and Barb did not fit their plans.  From previous conversations with the preschool teacher, I knew she didn't think Barb taught enough in her Kindergarten classrooms.  In fact, I'm not certain the preschool teacher even liked children, let alone parents.  The preschool matter was a difference of opinion, but I know that the school closed because of the group of people who wanted to expand the preschool and, thus make money for their already wealthy church.

The past is a chapter that I am happy to close, but I'm not sure why I always feel so horrible ending relationships with people.  Maybe it is that I hate to have people end relationships with me.  Regardless what is the reason for my feelings of remorse, I am going to acknowledge them and continue to move forward.

Here are two pictures of my homeschool area:

To My Grandma

Earlier this year I wrote a story for my Grandpa Brown's 90th Birthday.  Click here to read: The Knights of Bedford Street.

The book of stories from family and friends was a success.  Therefore, in May, my family did another book for my Grandma Brown, who was turning 85.  I never put my story on this blog, and since it is a good recollection of my past I would post it today.  Enjoy!

If God had intended us to follow recipes,

He wouldn't have given us grandmothers.

~Linda Henley

My family memories are sprinkled with a dash of Texas Sheetcake, a pinch of Deviled Eggs and a splash of Spaghetti Salad.  My Grandma Brown knew how to throw a party, and still does to this day.  She loves a reason to bring her family together, and what better way than to dangle yummy food in front of them while you are at it?

When I was little, I would often ask to help bake cookies, or cut vegetables for dinner.  My mother would lose patience quickly, because I had this habit of not listening to her directions.  Throughout the years, many tears were had in that kitchen of ours.  However, I was lucky to have two grandmothers who allowed me to express myself in the kitchen, even if I wasn’t completely paying attention.

My very favorite memory in the kitchen with my Grandma Brown was when my sister, Kelly, and I learned the fine craft of bread making.  I remember that we made the bread from scratch – no box mix for Grandma Brown.  She also mixed everything by hand, which was extremely exhausting.  We had to stir one way so many times, and then the other way the same amount of times.  And it seemed to go on FOREVER!  I remember getting flour over everything (especially ourselves), and I also remember learning how to kneed the dough the proper way.  I have been lucky to share the proper dough kneed with my husband, Jim, and my Ladybugs, Zoe and Eva.  There was a lot of laughter while we kneeded the dough, and waited for it to rise.  I was so happy to be allowed to have a true hands-on experience. 

Of course (I’m sure it is no surprise) we were not quick or efficiant in our doughy masterpiece.  I do not recall the temperature of the oven, what container we baked our bread in, what we ate for dinner that evening, nor can I tell you how the bread tasted.  However, the memory of that experience has remained in my heart all these years later. 

Happy Birthday to the quintessential grandmother: my Grandma Brown!