I absolutely HATE confrontation. So in October I wrote Bonnie a very nice letter telling her that life circumstances were such that I would have to take a hiatus until after the holidays. Yeah, I know Witnesses don't celebrate holidays, but I also knew that Bonnie would understand my verbiage.
I then saw her in January for lunch, which she said would simply be "social". It wasn't. She brought her Bible. However, I love her so much...because she was a part of my life for quite some time. And honestly I really owe quite a bit of my Bible knowledge because of our meetings. I feel as if I have a very good understanding of scripture (i.e. where to find specific verses), and I know that is due to Bonnie's weekly visits.
So a month ago she asked if she could stop in and we could look at some scriptures. I said sure. She came twice. Then on Monday she left me a voicemail that (for all practical purposes) broke up with me. On one hand, no, I do not want to be a Jehovah's Witness. But on the other hand, I also do not want to go to meetings or to the Convention. I just don't. I feel that I would be pretending to want to be there just for her. And I do not want to be fake in front of someone who I care deeply about.
Her voicemail was cordial, but she stated that until I want to go to meetings or have a structured Bible study there wasn't much point in looking at scriptures and answering my questions. She said I could call her anytime, and that she would stop by each month to bring me the magazines. But I honestly think she is giving me "tough love." You know...when a parent takes away the fun stuff so the kid will conform to the "correct" way? Yeah, that is what I felt happened in the voicemail. She loves me and wants me to make choices that work for me. However, she also hopes that I chose to come to meetings and the like.
I have had many friendships in my lifetime. I had hoped that my friendship with Bonnie wasn't circumstantial, but I really feel as if it was/is. When I was studying each week and answering the Bible study questions with the "correct" answers (the way a Witness would answer them) I was her special student. Her BEST student ever! But maybe I am her biggest student disappointment ever....dunno.
I may have posted this before, but I guess when a friendship has dissolved I think of it:
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.
Then people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
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