ABC's of ME

I follow Play Dr Mom's blog, and she does a weekly questionnaire with her blog community.  I thought a fun way to start 2013 would be to do the ABC's of me!  So here you go!

Age	37 (not for long)
Beverage of Choice	triple venti soy latte
something you’d like to Change in your Life	definitely my weight
favorite Diversion	reading children's/teen lit
Essential start of the day	cup of coffee
Favorite Color	indigo
Favorite Game	currently in love with Where's My Water
Height	5 feet 6 inches
favorite Ice Cream flavor	coffee or coffee with chocolate
Beloved piece of Jewelry	my engagement/wedding ring
Kids (names & ages)	Zoe (7.5) and Eva (Evie 5.5)
Where do you Live	Michigan
Favorite Movie(s)	so many...Amelie, Gone with the Wind, North By Northwest, White Christmas...
Nickname	Shell
Occupation	mommy & music teacher
a weird thing in your Purse/bag	face wipes/butt wipes (what can I say, my kids like to be clean)
favorite Quote	"You can never go down the drain" - Mister Rogers
Right or left-handed	right
Siblings	one younger sister, Kelly
Time it takes to get ready	Depends - 10 to 30 minutes
Unusual Fact	An ancestor on my mother's side was on the Mayflower
Best Vacation	Before kids: Kentucky with Jim 2002/ After kids: Great Wolf Lodge 2012
What makes you late	I am very rarely late
Xrays you’ve had	chest, knee, and various others throughout life
Yummy food that you make	Evie and Zoe say, "grilled cheese!"  I personally think one of my crock-pot creations.
favorite Zoo animal	giraffe

Giving this Christmas

This year I was warmed when I looked at the pile of our wrapped gifts compared to the donations we will be making to the Ronald McDonald House this week (items were originally going to be donated on Friday, but Zoe was ill).  The wrapped gifts were half as large as the items for donation.  I'm not trying to take the "I'm so awesome because I am teaching my children the true meaning of Christmas" road.  But I am proud that they are cherishing the few physical gifts they have received.

What about Santa?
I love the myth/historical Santa.  He is an annual visitor at our house.  He brings the Ladybugs a few fun stocking stuffers and one large item.  This year he brought a bike for Zoe (she has been using hand-me-downs since she was little) and a "big girl" flashing light scooter for Evie.  The gifts he brings are unwrapped, and were not part of the pile comparison from above.  Jim and I usually get one or two things for the girls that we wrap.  This year they got skateboards - Jim's idea.  Santa also brought the family a gift this year - a Blueray player.  Woot!  No more having to use the Xbox for DVDs!

No, there were not towering piles of wrapped surprises (like many of my Facebook friends posted this morning).  No, there were not tons of wrappings left all over the floor (a la Christmas Story).  But neither Ladybug seemed to mind.  They are thrilled.  And not overwhelmed.

What About Family Members?
I was very specific this year when I told family members gift ideas.  My grandma seemed upset at first when I told her little dollar store items were perfect (the Ladybugs call them GG gifts).  I assured her that if she wanted to also give money, that was okay.  Giving the children money allows us to purchase clothing, or other necessities.  We can even take them to museums and other venues over the two-week break that will build memories.  In my humble opinion, I don't remember a lot of things I got as a kid but I do remember special trips and times spent with family and friends.

Yesterday, the Ladybugs both received presents from my parents: Zoe got a very nice telescope (my father is over right now assembling it) and Evie got a "twin" American Girl doll.  Both girls got a couple books, and activity tables for the car from my sister.  And when Evie opened the money she cheered!  I had to laugh.  The Ladybugs thought they were rich!

Riches in Presence Rather Than Presents
And I believe this is the richest Christmas ever.  Both children have said the same thing: THIS IS THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!

Our Christmas program at school had a song called, "The Gift".  There is a line in it that states, "It's not about what we can give, it's what God gave to us."  And I believe this to be true.  It is not about piles of gifts or how much you spend (or save on special sales), even though the commercials illustrate a completely different theme.  To bring home a point - look at how Jesus (the Christ in Christmas) spent the first Christmas.  The stable, the hay, the simple birth.

I am thrilled to spend time together; visiting with family yesterday, visiting with more family today (the Martin side) and then spending time with my very best friend, Dana, and her son, Orson, on Wednesday.  The memories and the presence is all the presents I need.

Merry CHRISTmas Everyone!

Seeing a Change

Since I have not blogged in awhile, I thought it best to catch everyone up with what has been going on with Sock Monkey Mama.

Family Moments:
Back at the end of October I wrote a blog about our eldest ladybug, Zoe: Accepting Help.

Zoe has attended six therapy sessions now, with her seventh scheduled for Wednesday.  Even though Jim and I have not received any feedback from the therapist, we have seen a definite difference in Zoe.  She no longer freaks out before school, nor does she freak out before baton lessons.  We have also noticed a change in her angry behavior, and have only administered one time out in the last six weeks.  I know, right!

Zoe is a very dynamic child with a beautiful and kind heart.  She also has an amazing voice, which always makes me proud to hear.  Therapy has definitely allowed Jim and I to enjoy Zoe daily, and between helping us make dinner or work on reading with her sister we have a much less anxiety ridden child.

Career Moments:
This has definitely been a school year of challenges and balance acts on my part.  I have had my heart broken, and I have shed more than a tear or one million.

When I last spoke of my jobs, I was very careful to describe two problem situations: Where Oh Where Have I Been?

Since blogging I have severed the teaching relationship with the delinquent student, and the angry mom pulled her three children from our school.  Did the mom pull her children because of the Christmas Show?  Maybe, but I really don't care if that is the reason.  She had been bullying other teachers at the school, and her unhappiness is definitely not missed.  So I have been pretty drama free when it comes to teaching situations.  I still have one family that causes stress each week at private piano lessons.  However, they canceled lessons yesterday and will be on vacation for another 3 weeks.  I am definitely thrilled by this.

Tomorrow marks my first Christmas Program at the school.  I am nervous, but excited to show the families how these children are very capable.

Religious Moments:
Jim and I are officially completed with our commitments at our church after this Thursday.  Jim will be working the Christmas Tree lot once again on Thursday, but he is happy to finish his commitments.  I have spent so much time and energy on this church, I am remorseful.  However, I truly believe I can no longer continue with being taken for granted and not respected.

I believe I have already informed my readers that I took the pop tabs over to the Ronald McDonald House a few weeks ago.  When I was there I realized a need for other items, especially toiletries and "to-go" food items.  So I have been collecting items and will return this Friday to do another drop off.  I love the feeling of helping others, and if a small $1 bottle of shampoo does that then I am happy to provide.

I believe will be start attending different churches come the new year, so I will definitely keep you informed

Christmas Preparation:
The Ladybugs have been learning about the true meaning of Christmas this year, even though Jim and I have never participated in the obnoxious amount of commercial propaganda.  When I look at our thoughtful gifts this year, I smile.  Less to wrap, and ultimately less waste.

Zoe asked Santa for a new bike (she has only had hand-me-downs) and Evie asked Santa for a scooter.  Neither girl wanted to see Father Christmas this year (they call him Father Christmas because Auntie Dana uses that term), but they were very efficient in writing a letter to send.  Jim and I decided to buy each girl a skateboard and we will also give them a few little things in their stockings.  My folks are getting the girls each one other item from the list, and Jim's parents are getting a couple other items.  And that is it.  No sense in giving the ladybugs things they do not need for or want.

I hope everyone is doing well, and I will be writing more before the Holiest of Nights.

You Ironic Little Elf

We are a home with magic - fairies, sprites and the like visit us regularly*.  So why do I have such an issue with The Elf on The Shelf?

Believe me, it is not the story behind the elf stories, which is very inspiring (check out the short film on the website). First of all the elf himself or herself (yes, add earrings and you have a girl) seem to be looking eerily at one, which is probably why I do not like to sleep with dolls looking in the room.  Secondly, the elf is supposed to report mischievous and bad behavior to Santa, but the ironic part is that he creates havoc himself overnight.

I realize that the elf was not originally created for the purpose of encouraging overachieving mothers and fathers to create dastardly and insidious scenarios.  The writers of the story are incredible women and the company behind the products is truly magical.  However, on a given day during the Christmas holiday at least three or more friends post pictures of what their elf was doing the night before.

I have read a couple blogs that write humor based articles describing the odd behavior of parents who go to great lengths to outdo the antics of the night before, or to ultimately outdo (or recreate) a pin on Pinterest.  And in all seriousness, if you want to go to great lengths to entertain your children (and yourself) I commend you, because like I said before we have many little visitors who stop by our home throughout the year.*

What I am suggesting is that I am confused to why a child would be "good" for an elf who is clearly NOT setting a good example.  And in most cases the elf gets exceedingly worse as the holiday season proceeds.  So what exactly is this suggesting?  Santa wants you to be good in order to get gifts, but his elf can be a real jerk and mess up your house and that's okay?

*Fairies, Sprites and the Like
We have a variety of little visitors at our house, and I thought you might want to know who.

Garden Fairies 
Rosemary, Lavender and Thyme visit through our fairy door throughout the year.  They exchange letters with the ladybugs and the ladybugs in leave letters, gifts (Evie loves making little dresses for them) and drawings at their door.  Most of the time the fairies remind them to behave and to be kind.

Sugar Sprite Fairy
The Sugar Sprite Fairy comes on Halloween night and replaces candy with small toys.  This year the girls each received a Littlest Pet Shop toy.  My girls are allowed to keep 20 pieces of candy and the rest is given to the Sugar Sprite Fairy to make her sugar palace.  Interesting fact - the ladybugs still have half their candy stash from Halloween.

Tooth Fairy
Ah, the good 'ol Tooth Fairy!  She comes and retrieves teeth that have fallen out.  She never gives more than $1.  NEVER!  And she occasionally writes a little letter thanking the child for the tooth.  She uses the teeth for her palace.  Gross if you think about it, but structurally teeth would be very strong.  The girls and I wash their teeth before putting them in their special fairy bag (little doll with a bag specifically for the tooth), because we don't want the Tooth Fairy to have a house full of spit and blood.

Toy Fairies
In a brief moment of genius, I created the Toy Fairies.  The ladybugs were becoming so difficult when it was time to clean up their toys.  Jim and I had tried everything.  Everything.  And then, one night, I told them about the Toy Fairies.  The Toy Fairies fly around each night after children go to bed looking for toys that are not properly put away.  They take the toy or toys to give to another child (one with less money) who will take better care of the toy.  Yes, the Toy Fairies have taken toys.  However, after receiving an apology letter, the toys were returned.  Very rarely do we have problems with toys anymore.

The house motto is: If you Believe You Will Receive.  This way if children at school do not believe in Santa (or the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy, etc) and share their knowledge with my ladybugs, I know that they have a foundation to respond accordingly.  How long will their belief in magic last?  I hope forever.

I do believe to each his/her own, but I find the elf craze to be just that - a thing people think they need to do to have their children experience this "tradition".  My grandparents had an elf JUST LIKE the one that is mass produced today.  When I went to visit, my Grandma would always have to remove the elf from her shelf (top of the curio cabinet) or turn him away from me.  I guess I never liked those elves.

Just don't tell the fairies I said that.

Where Oh Where Have I Been?

The addition of my third job this fall (private teacher and mom are the other two) was supposed to be a way for me to fulfill a calling that I felt on my heart.  Teaching 8 hours a week was going to afford my girls to continue to have the education that we have come to love.  However, I pretty much spend close to 15 - 20 hours involved in the job.  This is added to the 13 private teaching hours (which is approximately 20 hours with prep time).  I'm a full time teacher, and it is wonderful, until I have to deal with individual students and their parents.

I have definitely been humbled as a teacher this fall, and my heart has been touched in so many ways.  I know I'm making a difference in the lives of students at the school.  And yet, there is always one person (or two) who really make make head spin.  Two situations came up in the last 2 weeks and both have damped my spirits.

The first was a private student who was a no call no show twice in two months.  Per the contract I have each family sign, I had to end the relationship with the student.  I was told she would be apologizing to me at her last lesson, but that never happened.  Regardless, I was paid the late tuition, and I was sad to have to end the teaching relationship.  However, being tough in business is essential in my line of work.

The other person struck last week, and she took me completely by surprise.

I have been debating as to how to share the second situation and still keep it private.  I have made the decision to not share the exact details, however, I will share the sadness I felt over the behavior of the parent.

My faith was questioned, my professional and personal time were wasted in needless emails, and my classroom was interrupted on more than one occasion by her children who were very upset at the ultimate decision.

Let me be clear: we all have convictions, and religious ones are very strong.  If I didn't agree with how my children were being taught and I was unhappy with the programs being offered at our school, I would simply look for something better suited to my family's needs and wants.  The school where my girls attend, and where I teach, is one that is going through a huge reorganization of priorities and mission.  I love what the school stands for, and I think the education is top notch.  However, a few families left in the summer to have their children attend a school that better fit their needs and wants, and I am confused why this parent did not do the same.

People like this parent are everywhere.  They are negative and they feed off of poking and prodding others.  Most often people like this are selfish and are oblivious to how their convictions affect their children.  Time for a quote:

I must say my impromptu pedicure on Friday definitely put me in a better place mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I am proud of what I am teaching these students and I know that each one will take something positive away from my classes - even if it is that Dubstep started out as Krautrock.

So tomorrow begins another week and my classes will be constructing instruments and enjoying the creativity of music.  I have a pile of boxes, tubes, glue, and tissue paper just waiting for little hands to create.  And the truth is, I cannot wait to see what happens.

Technology, Technology, Why Have You Thou Forsaken Me!?

This week has been one of frustration on a technology level.  Maybe it is because I have been fighting a yucky head cold, or maybe it is karma, or maybe it is just my crummy luck.  But whatever the case might be, it has been a really disturbing week in retrospect.  Why?  Because I was shown just how important technology is to my life; and how difficult it is to function without it.

No Cell Phone
Monday was a challenging day.  It began with waking up to a sore throat.  I didn't feel like getting up, but I had no other choice.  Then Evie lost her tooth.  Well, more accurately, I pulled out a loose tooth from Evie's mouth.  Therefore, there was an ample amount of blood.  Evie also shed more tears than I expected.  She is dramatic, you know.  Then, I made sure Zoe had her morning supplements and went downstairs to feed the animals.  Zoe followed along because she wanted to feed the fish.  However, when she opened the top of a new fish food it fell all over the couch and the basement floor.  She began to cry.  She felt terrible that she made such a big mess.  I took a few minutes to calm her down and reassure her it was an accident, then I tackled the mess.  For most households this mess would not be a big deal, but I had to clean up the fish flakes because our cat, Milo, would spend the rest of the day licking up whatever he could.  In fact, I am certain that if given the opportunity Milo would eat himself to death.

I had just enough time to grab a banana, and out the door Zoe and I went to her orthodontist appointment.  Zoe is in the preparatory stages to get an expander.  Currently tiny blue rubber bands get shoved between her back teeth "spreading" the teeth to allow her molars to come in successfully.  Anyway, we were late to the appointment, but Zoe made it to school without missing anything.

The day continued on like this, and my body became sicker and sicker.  After dinner, Jim took Zoe to her first therapy appointment (which by the way went amazingly well), and I cleaned up the house, bathed Evie, fed the animals, washed dishes, and well, you get the picture.  I plugged my phone in, and as I was about to set it down in the holder, it slipped from my hands.  Yes, I have a case.  Yes, it was not that far from the ground.  But the screen cracked, and well, it was toast.

I called the insurance company for the phone, and they sent me another phone out the following day: Tuesday.

So all of Tuesday I did not have a working phone, and honestly it felt so weird.  I would awkwardly look at the screen, as if thinking something miraculous had changed.  I don't own a watch, so I felt completely isolated in knowing what time it was.  I also freaked out when I had to run a few errands with Evie.  What if I get stranded?  What if my car breaks down?  What if Zoe is sick and the school tries to call me and I am unreachable?!  ARGH!

A new phone came on Tuesday, as expected.  However, it was broken and would not keep a charge.  So on Wednesday (a half day for the ladybugs and me) I spent time making phone calls 1) to get a different phone sent to me, 2) another to deal with a bill that was not paid, and 3) yet another because our cable company had two different amounts owed on our bill appearing online.  Two hours later I began to realize how dependent I am on technology.  But the worst was yet to come.

No Computer Too
Yesterday I did not have a phone (I was waiting for the 2nd "new" phone to arrive) and I did not have a computer.  Why?  Because I stupidly opened an email from my father and clicked on the link he said I would enjoy reading.  Why is this so bad?  Because that stupid link was a way to infect my lovely laptop - my only means of connecting with the outside world.  I had to shut the computer down.  This meant I was without everything.  No texting.  No Facebook.  No reading Blogs!  I felt even more isolated that before.  Why is that?

Fortunately after Jim ran the important programs to catch the issues (I am very lucky he is a tech guy), the laptop was clean and ready to use again.  I also talked to my father who only found one file affected by the email.  So in this case, we were both very lucky.

But the reality is: it was not that long ago that I didn't have a smart phone.  In fact, it has only been that last 4 years that I have had a phone with the ability to read emails and text others.  For years I drove to stores without a phone.  For years I was unavailable when people tried to reach me.  FOR YEARS!  And really, is it that imperative to know what my friends are doing during the day?  Really?  But I could not help wondering what my friends were thankful for (30 Days of Thankfulness), or how their days were shaping up.  And I realized that I am WAY too dependent on technology.  If the Zombie Apocalypse happens and we lose all forms of electricity, I will be forced to wonder who has been bit, who has already turned and what others are doing to survive.

In Conclusion
I do feel that I have a balance of technology in my life.  I do not bring my smart phone everywhere I go, and I have been known to go hours without responding to a text from a friend.  But I still place a high importance on its value.  I do value knowing how my friends are doing.  I do value having the security that if something happened to my children at school I am always reachable.  And I do value being able to send cute messages and emoticons to my husband throughout the work day.

But not having a phone nor computer really made me rethink where we are as a society and where we are going.  I thought it was quite apropos for The New Normal (my new favorite sitcom this season - quite possibly because they made reference to Grey Gardens in the second episode) to air an episode on Tuesday about our societies obsession regarding technology, especially with social networking.  I think many people need to take a step back and determine how important their phones/computer/pads/etc are to them.

I know that my ladybugs will never know what it is like to dial a rotary phone, or have the phone ring more than 10 times before a voicemail picks up, or use a card catalog to look up information.  But I do hope my girls understand the value of technology and not let it lead their lives.

Compartmentalizing My Brain

I came into work early this morning, with the intent of getting more accomplished than I managed to do over the weekend.  I sincerely found myself avoiding doing work for school this weekend, and I imagine you will laugh when I tell you what I did instead.

Avoidance on an Epic Level
On Saturdays I teach pretty much the entire time the sun is up; well at least at this time of year.  So when I finished at 4:35pm I was unable to even put together a sentence.  This happens when my brain has been "on" for 8 hours.  A little Sims on the XBox while the girls were playing outside and Jim was making dinner?  SURE!  Then Uncle Joe came over, and well who can do work when Uncle Joe is over?  Not me!

Yesterday morning I got up early (7:30 is early for a Sunday), and made cherry scones with Zoe.  I am consciously trying to do things that are just Mommy & Zoe time.  Evie has my undivided attention on Tuesdays and Thursdays because she does not have school.  Zoe has not had Mommy alone time in a LONG LONG time.  So make a cognizant effort is definitely the most important.

Evie joined her Daddy for a date at the grocery store, so Zoe and I had more time together.  She also was able to pull her own loose tooth out, which was bitter sweet for my Mommy heart.

Then we met the inlaws for lunch a Panera.  Can't do work while you are at lunch, right?  But then I had this brilliant idea: ORGANIZE THE LADYBUG'S TOY CLOSET!  Yup!  Why not?  So off to Target we went and I purchased a shelf and an under-the-bed storage box.  I also picked up a shoe organizer for our closet.  Why not?  Just one more activity to NOT work.

So I cleaned, built, purged, and organized the heck out of the toy closet.  It was in such need of this, but I really didn't HAVE to do it yesterday.  Of course at the time I was so motivated to NOT work, that the closet seemed to be the most important thing on my agenda.

By the time I completed all the activities I created for myself, I was pooped.  So what better way to regain energy?  Coffee and a rereading of Life of Pi.  I loved Life of Pi when I initially read it years ago.  The movie is coming out soon, so I thought a rereading would be beneficial.  After my regaining of energy time out, I had a yummy quiche and time with the family.  But why let it end there?  So the evening was spent enjoying my family, and once again avoiding the inevitable: doing work for school.

Now Where Does That Leave Me?
So now I am at school and I was mostly successful in getting my needed work done.  I turned in my grades, I made copies of the brass family handouts, I planned for the week ahead, and now I'm taking a blog break.

But I'm wondering how often I create projects to avoid the real problem.  I acknowledged this avoidance yesterday, but how often do I subconsciously create a project to avoid what really needs to be done?  And my brain likes order, so maybe I organize and create order to avoid the mess of life.  I am meditating on the possibility of this brain conversation:

Problem: Too many dishes to wash?
Solution: Why not catalog all the music into binders and dividers?

Problem: Too big to fit into your favorite pants?
Solution: Why not clean and organize the pantry?

Problem: Too many clothes to wash and fold and put away?
Solution: Why not paint the door to the music studio?

Maybe, just maybe, our brain creates opportunities to feel safe and secure ultimately creating a much less stressful environment.  Or maybe this is just my coping mechanism.  We ALL have them.  Some use drugs, some alcohol, some avoid life all together.  So what if my coping skill is organization?  Right?  At least my house looks good.