pilgrimage - day #26

he whispers reassuringly to me...

Yesterday proved to exceed my expectations.  It was Zoe's first day of preschool.  My worry and concern was a recent one, as Zoe was so good about new experiences.  However, at the end of May,  Jim and I went on a date night.  We had a babysitter for the girls (first time without family).  I misjudged how Zoe would react.  I thought for sure Eva would freak at bedtime, but I was wrong; it was Zoe that threw a fit.  After that it was really difficult to leave her anywhere.  Church, dance classes, even home with Jim was an issue.

I had signed her up for a vacation Bible camp at her preschool.  I had no idea she would react so negatively.  It was really heartbreaking how clingy she was.  She sobbed when I left her, and it was very difficult to make it through the week.  I made her complete the camp, because I wanted her to feel empowered.  It never happened.

And most of the summer it has continued in the same vein.  She has cried when I leave, clung to me to stay, and not wanted to go to her dance classes nor to preschool.

So I figured yesterday would be a disaster.  But surprisingly it wasn't.  She was all smiles on her way there.  She even let me take a picture of her playing with the classroom's doll house.  It is priceless.  I stuck around the school for an hour or so; peering into the classroom, once in awhile, to see how she was acting.  When the kids went to recess (around 10am) I left.  She didn't see me go.  I had told her I would stay at the school.  I came back at 11:30 and joined the kids for a "bear hunt."  Her teacher said there were a few "moments," but overall she did good.  I was so proud of her.  She completely blew my expectations away!

I find myself creating daily expectations - negative or positive - and many times the expectations are not met.  I used to focus on the results that were different than those expected, but lately I have been allowing God Almighty to carry me where I need to go.  Having a different result than planned is what used to throw me in high-gear anxiety hell.  My hope is to hear and truly listen to the reassuring whispers from God Almighty; because I want peace and harmony; for this is Life.

Today's Scripture
Psalms 128:1 (The Message)
All you who fear God, how blessed you are!
how happily you walk on his smooth straight road!