Is Time for Oneself a Guilty Pleasure?

As noted in a blog post from January 4th titled, "Begin Anew," I stated that Health was one of my 3 goals and part of my 100 Days Calendar in 2012.

What exactly is Health to me?  Yeah, I think I need a bit of clarification myself.  Why am I so wishy-washy with this topic?  Probably because I get very motivated, complete a task (i.e. losing 20 pounds), and move onward.  Onward is another (kind word) to say: OFF THE WAGON.

I am not the greatest person to give out advice for healthy living, because believe me: I am NOT healthy.  Or probably a better description: I am not as Healthy as I should be.  I am going to be 37 this year, and I am in the worst condition of my life.  Really?  You might ask.  Yes.  I answer sadly.

This blog post isn't one looking for a pity party; quite opposite, in fact.  I would much rather be honest.  That is what I hope I am conveying in this tangent.  And I'm hoping to start a conversation: an ongoing dialogue of sorts.

Today brought me to a deep moment of realization.  I determined I need to start taking time for things that make me feel happy and healthy this week.  Since Health is my 3# for 100 days, I needed to up the ante, and well Monday was the first day of the new week.  Here is what I've accomplished thus far: Monday I had a pedicure, Tuesday a manicure, and today a massage.  However, each one of these took money and began to get buyers remorse after the massage.

Of course during the massage my sister (the therapist) was extremely concerned that my body was not well.  She was concerned about my muscles and the amount of lactic acid I am retaining.  She prescribed ginger tea, epsom salt baths and sun salutations.  I return next Wednesday to see if I am doing better.  I will also be visiting the doctor tomorrow to discuss a few issues I have had lately (high blood pressure a few times, a numb shoulder, etc).  I am hopeful that this devoted week will provide positive results...however....

Is a pedicure, manicure or massage essential to living?  Um...no.  I can emphatically tell you that one does not need any of these three services to live a healthy and happy life.  Or do they?  Could I be healthy or mentally happy without them?  Not quite sure.  And where, reader, does this guilt come from?

Guilt: what a wasteful emotion to have.  According to this Yahoo! Article, guilt comes from our parents, our partners, the church, and/or school.  I suppose mine comes from being a daughter of a super mom.  My mother was great at everything.  She sewed our clothes, kept a VERY clean house, made dinner every night (which always included a dessert of some sort), and still had time to take ceramic classes and sing in my father's band on the weekends.  How did she do it?  I suppose I want to be viewed the same way, because after all that is what I know to be good and true.

I also do NOT want to be THAT mom.  You know, the ladies who lunch.  Because I am a hard working mom who doesn't want to be viewed as spoiled or "kept".  There, reader, I suppose I have hit the nail on the head.  I am too worried about appearing pretentious or selfish.

I asked the following question on Facebook today:

Hey Facebook MOMS: Is taking care of yourself (i.e. getting a massage, relaxing, ignoring the pile of laundry, etc.) selfish behavior? And..do you ever feel guilty taking care of yourself?

I received quite a few responses. Each woman said that taking care of ones self is not selfish. One mom did point out that if you are not providing for your child(ren), and getting pedicures and manicures rather than groceries, then you would be selfish.  Everyone said that I shouldn't feel guilty for taking care of myself.  I thought more moms would be agreeing that they felt selfish after doing something for themselves.

However, it was refreshing to hear from a man:

David: My girlfriend will not do anything for herself, especially if she has to pay for it. If someone gets her a gift certificate for a massage or something she will do it, but otherwise, she won't hardly do anything for her. And she cannot relax if everything in the house is not done. Its really irritating and makes her kind of hard to live with at times.

Note to self: Need to redefine selfish behavior.