When I look back on my childhood, there are a variety of memories that flood my mind. However, I could spend days discussing the hurt, anger, and sadness I felt during my 4th, 5th and 6th grade years of school. Even as an adult I get reminders of the teasing and taunting of my piers from that time. The negative comments and nasty remarks shaped the child from the past, as well as the woman of today. I find it amusing that some of these same people are now "friends" of mine on Facebook. Is that because they have grown? I cannot answer that, but I refuse to be the exclusive now.
As I read the May 2010 Awake! there was an article that drew my attention immediately: Young People Ask How can I boost my self-respect?
Jim and I often laugh at quotes that are supposedly taken from teens and preteens for this publication. The language can sometimes be contrived, preachy, or mature for the children quoted. However, what stood out in this article were a few Bible verses that I wish I had been given as the lonely preteen of the past.
Proverbs 17:17 (The Message):
Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble.
What a great statement of truth. It was my grandfather and mother that listened to countless hours of my hurt and anger towards others. I was so confused with children my own age. The girls were especially hurtful and judgmental. I never fit in the way most girls did. My sister claimed (and still does) that the girls in my "class" at school were especially judgmental and rude. However, I think it was just the fact that I didn't fit into the mold of what they wanted in a friend. At the time I thought it was my appearance and my interests, but I know now that it was that I couldn't hurt another person by stooping to the level of teasing and picking on others. And there is a saying that you are either the one getting picked on or the bully. I refused to be the bully.
Proverbs 13:20 (The Message):
Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces.
When I got into High School and college there was more opportunity to find like-minded people. But I must admit that I did walk with fools, and became one just the same. Growing up is filled with choices and paths that might take you down roads that in the future become regrets or fond reminders that you are lucky the roads have been left in the past. That is definitely how I feel about a great portion of my early adulthood.
Growing up is full of pains, but I do think I became friends in college with people that wouldn't have been friends with the 4th, 5th or 6th grader. I don't look back with regret, but I feel sad for that budding woman that she didn't have the strength to know it wasn't necessary to experience the game of a fool to know those people were fools. It is too bad I didn't have a bit of scripture to rely on. However, the organized religion of my youth was (and is) something to abhor .
Proverbs 18:24 (The Message):
Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family.
What a wise scripture reading. I only have a couple VERY close friends. Yes, many have disappointed me throughout my life, and my heart has been broke on many occasions. However, when I look at who my true friends are, I am blessed to say they are those that would have been friends with that lonely 4th grade student. In fact, one was: Dana. The bond Dana and I have is like family. We are more "blood" related than most of my family, to be truthful. Unfortunately we were not in the same class during the last few years of elementary school.
Romans 3:23 (NIV)
for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God
How do I reconcile the pain from my past? I know that we are all sinners, and therefore imperfect. I am doing my best to love everyone...especially those that do not have the same beliefs as me. And what about those that were the bullies of my past? I am learning to love them the most, for those are the people that need the love and to see the light of God.
James 3:2 (NIV)
We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.
Alas, we must understand that everyone falls short. Hopefully those bullies from my past have grown and learned of their errors and mistakes from the past. And I will continue to be a woman that glows with the light of God, hoping to touch others in my path.
1 John 3:18-20 (The Message)
My dear children, let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love. This is the only way we'll know we're living truly, living in God's reality. It's also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.
