The Second Day of Christmas

I happen to feel all holidays are rushed anymore.  Christmas displays in July, Easter in February, Halloween in May.  But I think my biggest pet peeve is who quickly the Christmas season is put away - trees set out for the garbage man, lights boxed up the day after, and Christmas music immediately eliminated once the 25th is complete.

In truth, the season of Christmas is 12 days in the church calendar, which is concluded by the Epiphany.  I always find it annoying the Christmas music is started the day after Halloween, but cutoff once the true Christmas season begins.  Growing up Lutheran, we celebrated the travels of the three kings/wise-men, bringing their gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh to the tiny Christ child.  Even though I am well aware Jesus was not born in winter and that most biblical scholars believe it took a year or more for the kings/wise-men to reach the baby, I still find the tradition of the Christmas season to be very spiritual in nature.

One of the most important traditions my husband and I started was the importance of presence and not presents on and around Christmas.  Our girls get one gift from Santa, and only one or two from us.  We do not encourage greedy gift requests (you know, the long LONG list that is rolled out once the child sits on Santa's lap), nor do I find piles and piles of gifts on Christmas morning to reflect the true meaning.  I am not suggesting I am above those that find enjoyment shopping and wrapping and giving; I am simply stating that I and my family have found greater love and meaning without all the stuff.

This year has been a difficult one - one with job issues, spiritual difficulty, and overall a real soul searching journey.  The most recent emotional and physical challenge has been the declining health of my grandpa and pal, Ray.  He was put into hospice on the 23rd of December and his placement there has actually been quite a gift to us.  Christmas Eve was very low-key and yesterday we had my parents over for a quite and meaningful Christmas dinner.  It was such a breath of fresh air and removed from the years of xanex and whiskey to help the day go along.

In the spirit of the next 11 days, my family will be attending Holiday Nights and Greenfield Village this evening, going to see the lights on Hines Drive tomorrow evening, continuing our Christmas celebrations on Saturday with the Martin clan, and then spending time gathering donations for the Purple Heart.

I'm not suggesting that my reading audience is unaware of the season of Christmas.  However, I want to empower everyone to try to spend time making memories that lengthen the presence of Christmas and not the presents.  God bless you all.

On the Other Side of the Fence

People show us what they wish to show us, no matter how close of a relationship.  What might seem like a perfect life, in fact, can definitely be less than perfect.  A beautiful rustic ranch in the hills, a nack for vintage decoration, and a smile to light a million candles hid a life that I never imagined to be true.

A sweet friend of mine, Jennifer, was murdered by her husband and found early Sunday morning after not coming into work.  Then her husband committed suicide after the murder, and I have read that he may have sat and contemplated his actions for a few hours before killing himself as well.  This amazingly unique and loving woman's life extinguished in a shotgun shell.  Her life was so boldly lived and so quickly ended.

I remember reconnecting with her on Facebook a few years ago.  She was so happy.  Her love of photography and animals transcended into a career with dogs and cats, and a Rockabilly lifestyle.  She spoke fondly of her husband, Matt, to whom she had met on Match.com.  They seemed to have it all - or so it seemed on the surface.

I was never in Jennifer's close circle of friends.  However, I had gone to high school with her and worked with her at the Eagle Tavern in Greenfield Village for a few years.  Our work relationship trickled into the rest of our lives as well.  Her exuberance for life was truly admirable.  A few years later I found out Jennifer moved to California with her then boyfriend, Bob.  I was so jealous of her sense of adventure and courage to make it in another state across the country.  When they broke up, I know Jennifer was very hurt; however, she persevered and reinvented herself in another state: Tennessee.

In the last year our friendship strengthened again, as I was tickled when she invited me to join her Facebook group, Rockabilly Is For Lovers.  I felt so privileged to have a deeper look into her fascinating lifestyle.  I was so jealous of her beautiful tattoos and her gorgeous pin-up pictures.  I also found myself sending her articles to Readers Digest and on one occasion sent her the entire magazine so she could read the article about two of her favorite Hollywood stars: Elvis and Ann-Margret.  What I viewed from this closer look at Jennifer was that she definitely became more beautiful inside and out as the years have passed.

Upon reading the news of her senseless death, I was immediately angry and disgusted that someone could kill such a beautiful creature.  In fact, I had hoped it was a cruel joke.  Two days later, I am still working on inner peace but will continue to be very heartbroken that a light so bright was extinguished so brutally.  However, I am forever grateful to have known such a unique and compassionate person.