Have Primary Colors Changed?

When I was in elementary school, I learned about the color wheel:

I recall choosing purple and yellow to make an opposite picture in art class.  In fact, my oldest, Zoe, even learned about the color wheel in Kindergarten last year.  I realize she had an art teacher as her Kindergarten teacher, but she knows vividly what colors make other colors (i.e. red and blue make purple).

Then we took our second trip to the Wizard of Oz exhibit at the Henry Ford Museum in town.  Since we were one of the few families there on the second visit, we were able to read and participate in more of the activities available.

Here is one that frustrated Zoe to no avail, and I must add that I befuddled that such an activity existed.

So Zoe reads, "Red, Green and Blue are the primary colors.." and she says, "Mommy!  Green is NOT a primary color!"

I realize that "light" is created by red, green and blue.  However, a more appropriate way to state the above would be the following from Wikipedia:

The impression of white light can also be created by mixing appropriate intensities of the primary colors of light: red, green and blue (RGB), a process called additive mixing, as seen in many display technologies.

My issue was not at the fact that you can make light using the three colors, but they are not THE primary colors that make light; rather they are the three colors that when mixed create white light.

However, the display did not end with the above picture.

Zoe looks and says, "Mommy, Green and Red do NOT make YELLOW!"  And in all honesty, this lovely color wheel is very difficult to explain to a child who does not like to see things differently then what she has learned.  The above picture might be the "MAGIC" mixing guide, but lets be real - green and red do not make yellow on a color wheel.  

What is truly interesting, is that the original Horse of a Different Color was every color of the rainbow (red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple).  However, by doing the hands-on activity Zoe was not able to make the horse every color of the rainbow.  And white light had nothing to do with the Wizard of Oz.  

My mother, a retired school teacher, stepped in and tried to make the horse each color shown above using the knobs in the center console, and was unsuccessful.  She also suggested that with the preschool activities elsewhere in the exhibit (the average age level would be 3-5), this middle school physics concept of light was really out of place.

Just to give you a brief idea of the exhibit, I have embedded a video below from its appearance last year in Minnesota:

Behind the Eyes of the Enemy

On a grey day in 1997, I entered the Tower of London with a bus load of other London tourists.  I was touring by myself, and never felt nervous.  My friend, Dana and her husband were working, and I had no problem following the signs to hop on the bus with other visitors.

However, the minute I entered The Tower grounds I became nauseous.  I assumed it was because I had not eaten lunch yet, and was starving.  But then I became unable to move further - it was almost like my body became paralyzed.  I politely excused myself and remained outside The Tower until the tour bus returned.

I returned home, inspired to read the history of London. I voraciously read history books, novels, memoirs and watched British Tele; I was hooked.   I learned about the vast amounts of people who were put to death on The Tower Square as well as in the walls (i.e. the princes).

In the last few years, I have read many books on the Holocaust.  In both historical times, people were heinously put to death by guards.  I just finished, The Reader by Bernhard Schlink.  Just for the record, I believe Maus was the best book ever written about the Holocaust.

...but, back to The Reader...

I was a bit put off by Part One.  When Michael Berg is fifteen he has hepatitis.  On his way home from school he gets very ill and he is rescued by 36-year-old Hanna Schmiz.  When Michael's health returns, he visits Hanna to thank her for her kindness.  This odd paring turns into a very physical and emotional affair.  Each time Michael visits he is to read to Hanna.  Then they participate in bathing, sexual encounters, and bicycle trips.

I suppose I was creeped out by this, because I am 36 and have male students who look up to me as a teacher.  Having sex with them is pedophilia, and totally creepy!  If it wasn't for my mother insisting I get to Part Two, I would have ended the book then and there.  I am very glad I listened to her, because the story really begins at that point.

Hanna and Michael next meet when she is on trial for a crime, refusing to defend herself.  She was a guard a a concentration camp, and Michael is a law student studying the case.  I don't want to give anything about the story away, but let me state that the ending is a bit disturbing 

On a visit to Struthof in Alsace, the nearest concentration camp, Michael encounters a driver who gives him such poignant and thoughtful incite into one who murdered people in the camps:

"No, I'm not talking about orders and obedience.  An executioner is not under orders.  He is doing his work, he doesn't hate the people he execute, he's not taking revenge on them, he's not killing them because they're in his way or threatening him or attacking him.  They're a matter of such indifference to him that he can kill them as easily as not." page 151

I was deeply affected by this above text.  My best friend, Joe, is currently working in Germany.  He visited a nearby concentration camp and we were texting about his visit.  He made the comment that he couldn't understand who would ever come up with this way of death - and who could carry the heinous crime to fruition.  After reading, The Reader, I wrote him back and told him that he needed to read the book to get a better understanding of one such person.

I do not believe this excuses the crime, but putting ourselves in the shoes of another can be extremely mind blowing.

Did I mention the book is a quick read?! :)  Happy reading to you all!

Being a servant

Zoe's Bible memory verse this week is from Mark 9:35:

Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all.”

Teaching your child to be humble is truly a remarkable feat.  I can only imagine what the followers of Jesus thought when he said the above.  How could one be first if he is last?

So often as a mother I put everyone ahead of me.  I have caught myself saying, "Do I look like your servant?" to my children.  But the truth is: we should only serve one leader and that is Jehovah God.  Quite often I am inspired by music, and today did not disappoint.

Following are the lyrics to a beautiful hymn that moved me during worship this morning.

The Servant Song
Will you let me be your servant
Let me be as Christ to you
Pray that I might have the grace
To let me be your servant too

We are pilgrims on the journey
We are brothers on the road
We are here to help each other
Walk the mile and bear the load

I will hold the Christ light for you
In the night time of your fear
I will hold my hand out to you
Speak the the peace you long to hear

I will weep when you are weeping
When you laugh, I'll laugh with you
I will share your joy and sorrow
Till we've seen this journey through

When we sing to God in heaven
We shall find such harmony
Born to all we've known together
Of Christ's love and agony

Here is a beautiful audio rendition of the same hymn:

When does Discipline become Abuse?

Yesterday, while running errands with Evie, I heard the following dialog on Michel Martin's NPR show, Tell Me More.

Click for Transcript

I was quite curious what video was being referenced in the conversation.

Here is the video in question.  It is very upsetting, but I post it because this blog was inspired (so to speak) by its existence.



It got me thinking about spanking and what kind of methods of discipline are "okay" and which are "abuse".   When does punishment not fit the crime, for instance.  

When I was a little girl, the usual punishment was being sent to my room.  On many occasions I talked back to my mom or dad about going to my room, so often a spanking or paddling accompanied time in my room.  If I swore, my mouth was "washed" out with soap.  I clearly remember getting soap in my mouth for calling my sister a "f**k head."  I am almost certain I did not know what the "f" word meant, but I knew it was really bad.  Thus, what could be worse to call my sister?  A horrible word, plus "head".

My father received his paddles from work - when his principal was no longer able to use them as discipline.  I remember my elementary principal paddling students in his office on occasion.  I was a VERY sensitive child, so I remembered the crying and the fear of ever having to go to the office.  But should our children FEAR us?  Should they FEAR adults?  I truly believe that FEAR is not RESPECT.

I did not necessarily fear my father, but I never thought he was beating me up.  He was simply punishing me for my poor choices.  Even in retrospect, I would not have had a compelling YouTube video like the one above.  My father did not beat me up during the punishment process. My parents were both educators with plenty of child behavior training.  I truly believe in the 70s and 80s spanking your child (or paddling for that matter) was just standard practice.

Jim and I do have a punishment regiment for our girls.  A warning is given.  Sometimes the action does not warrant a warning, and moves to the next step.  A time out is given based on the age of the child  .  Sometimes Zoe will start with 6 minutes and end up serving us 30 or more minutes.  If time outs are not working, items that are loved (TV, toys, etc.) are taken away.  Zoe is our child who tries to push all buttons.  Evie has never had more time in time out than her age.  However, I will admit to smacking Zoe on the butt a couple of times for her mouthing off to me.  It gets her attention, and I only tap her bum.

So is spanking wrong?  There definitely needs to be consequences for the misdemeanor.  But I believe we live in a society that is much more lax with the severity of punishments than when I was a kid.  As much as I believe in time outs - for time to think about what you've done wrong, I also believe in explanation and time to hug at the end.  Knowing that consequences don't necessarily mean you are bad, only that you made a poor choice.

For instance: Monday evening Zoe shared with me that she had to move her clothespin at school.  She has never been in trouble at school before, ever.  Her class has a system of warning, time outs, and office time.  So "moving her clothespin" meant she made a poor choice.  However, the choice was only a warning and not repeated again to have a letter sent home.  When I asked Zoe what she did, she was oblivious to the "crime."  I knew that her teacher was not one to give consequences without definite reason, so I had Jim ask her teacher yesterday morning what Zoe did.  He was told Zoe was rambunctious and interrupted 4 times during a lesson.  Thus, her teacher had her move the clothespin to get her attention.  She never repeated the disrespectful actions, so the clothespin movement worked.  I was able to further talk to Zoe about her actions, because I believe talking and discussing is possible at 6.

So I posted the following question to my facebook friends after hearing about the judge and his 16 year old daughter:

I am wondering, my Facebook readers, when does a punishment become abuse? Do you spank? What do you do for discipline (i.e. do you have a list of punishments to fit different crimes)?

I was truly curious what my friends out in Facebook-Land did, and I really enjoyed and appreciated their comments:

• Laurie Well, at 16 the absolutely worst punishment was not being able to drive the family car.........yikes, I would rather have received 50 lashes......Yesterday at 1:27pm 
  
  
  Andrea You do NOT hit. Everyone should have learned that in kindergarten and it applies to adults.
  

  Yesterday at 2:46pm 
• Amanda There are far more effective forms of discipline then hitting or spanking...I myself have never done it. We have always used time outs and taking things away. Also I find positive reinforcement always prevents bad behavior. Anytime Olivia is going through a particularly difficult stage we bring out the old behavior chart where she gets rewarded for the good things she does and gets stickers removed for not following directions. It has always worked. There is really no need for physically punishing children.
  

  Yesterday at 3:01pm
• Joe  I would think that even those that feel spanking is necessary and/or helpful (sure, it can be effective if you're too lazy and stupid to use your brain to try to teach your kid something) would realize that THIS IS A 16 YEAR OLD!! A little kid that can't reason yet needs to be taught to not run into the street and you want to get a point across and don't think this kid is going to understand the seriousness through a conversation or a time out when you get home so there's actually reason to consider spanking, but this is an adolescent old enough to reason and think abstractly and consider consequences and sue to separate themselves for you sorry excuse for parenting. He's not mature enough to handle using his words to express his feelings to his daughter, he has to hit her?!? And this idiot is supposed to discipline the general public to teach them how to behave?? I hope his local voters are paying attention to this clown's actions.
  

  23 hours ago
• David I have only spanked my children 5 times tops each. A lot has to do with how you were disciplined. Every generation seems to be less physical with punishment. I personally feel that a hand on the butt to get their attention is OK. But grabbing something to hit with or hitting anywhere else to too much. But that's just me.
  17 hours ago
  
  

Favorite Children's Authors

I am going to start a new blog topic, Favorite Children's Authors.

I love children's literature.  I truly enjoy books that make me laugh, or cry, or really think.  I also love the language of a beautifully written book.  To mark my first author, I am selecting Kevin Henkes.

Last Christmas, Zoe and Evie's Aunt Sarah gave them each audio books.  One of the selections was Lily's Purple Plastic Purse.  We had read this story before, as well as a few other Kevin Henkes ones.  However, hearing the stories told on the CD really are amazingly touching.

I began really paying attention to the words used in these books, and I must say that Chrysanthemum is my all time favorite!

Henkes uses words to describe the little girl and the flower.  The play on words might be missed by younger children, but I love the whimsical nature of the language.  Henkes also does not "dumb down" his words for a younger audience.  Therefore the story is told with lush words and an almost poetic-like meter.

My favorite lines in Chrysanthemum have to do with her reactions to things.  When she is upset, Henkes writes, "Chrysanthemum wilted."  And when the little mouse is happy, Henkes writes, "She blushed, she beamed, she bloomed."  Definitely a play on words in this case, but so heartwarming for the reader.

I highly recommend any of the Henkes library for children.  You will not be disappointed.

lets give 'em something to blog about...

Apparently I am not the only one stepping on a Soap Box to voice concerns over Halloween costume choices.  Halloween has passed and thus I have packed up our witches and ghost decorations (albeit most of our fall decorations are ones that last through the entire season), but the debate in my mind continues.  Why, might you ask?  Well, reader, if so many people are writing blogs against the sexy and inappropriate costumes available for children, why do these costumes continue to exist?  Either the demand is out there, or people are purchasing what the costume industry suggests.

All I had to do was Google "Inappropriate Children's Halloween Costume" and the results were amazing.

Oddee has a list of 12 most inappropriate children's costumes (view link here), iVillage chimed in with an article (view link here), the FW adds a few new ones (view link here), and The Huffington Post also made a hilarious collection of costumes on their site (view link here).

The thing is: society is laughing about Baby Hitler and Sex Kitten.  Rather shouldn't we be concerning ourselves with what IS appropriate?  Maybe encouraging (demanding) costume companies to make other, less sexy and gross, options.

However, the other day I was reading Hello Giggles (which is a great site by the way) and I came across this Blog Post from Ruby Karp.  Ruby is an 11 year old blogger, who was also having a very difficult time finding appropriate costumes to wear this Halloween.  In my opinion, 11 is still a child and in no way ready for a sexy costume.

But the true question is: are we that unimaginative that we are okay with what is presented at the local costume shops.  Maybe it is a case of time (I know that I spent countless hours making our costumes last fall), or money, or just a case of not caring.  However, after a lot of searching, I came across a most awesome site:  TAKE BACK HALLOWEEN!

And maybe that is what we parents need to do - TAKE BACK HALLOWEEN for our children.  I say children because even though there are a lot of sexy costumes for young girls, boys are also inundated with gross, violent, and inappropriate costumes too.  Does that mean we have to make costumes?  No.  But what we should not do is encourage the industry by posting how "funny" something is; or purchasing the "least sexy" option.  Make the industry change for us!

Time to Face the Music

...to accept the truth...


This American idiom stems from the British military. When someone was court marshaled, there would be a military drum squad playing, hence face the music. 

That is simply what I have to do this beautiful autumn day - admit that I fell off the healthy path.  Last week was an emotional one, for a variety of reasons, and we also had a bunch of celebrations to attend.  I take complete responsibility in my weight gain, and plan on using the last week as a lesson.

I have always been one who could not just have one - one drink, one piece of candy, one potato chip, one orange puff, etc.  I tend to get euphoric when I'm eating, which I realize is akin to alcoholism or an addiction to cigarettes.  I know this, and yet it is still so difficult for me to rid my life of events that have food.  I mean, come on!  Am I right?

I felt really beautiful on Saturday at my cousin's wedding.  My hair looked good, I wore a new dress and shoes that seemed to be made for me.  I am awaiting pictures from my father, because I am hoping what I "think" I looked like, and what I "really" looked like match.  I am very skeptical of myself anymore.  After years in a fog, do I trust what I see in the mirror?

Until I get hard evidence, I will simply state that the scale didn't lie - I had gained weight this week.  I am not going to ignore it either.  That gets me in trouble every time.