June Wrap-Up

This month has been a busy and quick one, if nothing else.  The Ladybugs are working Little House in the Big Woods curriculum from The Prairie Primer.  I was lucky enough to find a gently used book on ebay, but the curriculum is worth more.  So far we have made butter, a corncob doll, and worked on a lap book that was illustrated here: marinecorpsnomads.com 

I also got a new (vintage) vehicle.  Her name is Lady Bird, and she is a 1996 Pontiac Bonneville with only 27,000 miles.  My Grandpa, Ray, is no longer able to drive (pretty good run for a almost 95 year-old), and he passed along his gem to me.  After a charge to the air conditioner, the only thing that needs to be fixed is the tape deck.  I think an aftermarket CD player would be an easy addition to Lady Bird.

I could probably go on about our family, but it is now time for the monthly wrap up.

Goal #1: Read all seven Harry Potter books on my new Nexus 7 tablet. Read as much as possible.

I had a very good month when it came to reading.  I read two books that I could not help but recommend - "The Divergent" and "The Insurgent" by Veronica Roth.  I also read a very heartwarming book, "The House at Riverton" by Kate Morton.  I have also been deeply engaged in "The Well Trained Mind," which is pictured below:

Goal #2: Reclaim my body - mentally, physically, and emotionally.

I have found a new product for my face - Simple Skin Care  It is so gentle, that I have only been using witch hazel and the cocoa face mask on occasion.  I have also found a new tool that I must say is so cool, I cannot believe I never owned it let alone heard of it before this month.  It is called a pore extractor, and by God it is the coolest tool EVER!

This is the exact one I bought, from Target, for under $10.

I have also started using this new foot cream that has given me hope I will no longer need monthly pedicures to remove the hard crust from my heels.  It has been about a week and a half, but my feet aren't nearly as crusty as they usually are.  The product is called Epoch Sole Solution.

Tuesday is supposed to be my 6th and final visit for Pelvic Floor Therapy, however, I will be calling tomorrow to schedule a surgery consultation instead.  Unfortunately the therapy is just not working, which has caused daily depression for me.  Logically I realize that I'm fine, but it is really difficult emotionally to deal with peeing myself many time daily.  The depression is also affecting my decision to continue homeschooling. I don't want to do wrong by my Ladybugs, but my heart says to continue with the homeschooling.

Goal #3: Give more.

I gave $100 to our local NPR radio station - WDET.  I do not listen to biased radio or television news programs, nor do I listen to current music stations.  I love the programming, and I really enjoy keeping abreast of local and national news, without a political spin to it.  I also spent time cleaning out our back storage area (we have two areas under our front porch that serve as storage for us), and we donated A LOT of clothing, household goods, and other items to Purple Heart, 10 years worth of electronic devices to Wayne Country, and puppy pee pads (Maggie hasn't need them in a long time) to the Dearborn Animal Shelter.  The Ladybugs have decided to sell lemonade this summer to collect money to give to animals in need, which makes my heart smile. My Eviebug even said to me, "Mommy, does giving make you happy?" And I said, "Yes, it does!"  Eviebug replied, "Me too!"

A Case For Not Attending My 20th Reunion

As some of you know, I was bullied quite badly when I was younger.  Even though time heals the wounds inflicted emotionally by others, it isn't a time I have simply forgotten.  By the time I was in high school I had established a group of friends who were more like me than when I was younger.  The bullying continued, but I was preoccupied with my interests to let it bother me.

Fast forward 20 years, and what do you have?  A class reunion.  I never saw myself attending another reunion after the completely uncomfortable five-year.  So I won't surprise any reader by stating the obvious: I am not going to attend the reunion dinner nor the family event the day after.

I have been reorganizing the Martin home, and I found Jim's yearbook.  Even though he graduated from a different high school, in a different city, a year before me, the people seemed to be just the same.  It was almost uncanny the similarities in people.  It was amazing how two separate situation could produce the same groups, cliques, etc.

I thought I would be a bit more specific to why I am not going to attend the reunion festivities.

Here are my reasons:

1. Social Networking
Facebook has completely eliminated the need to wonder what "insert name here" looks like or if "insert name here" ever went bald, grew fat, and/or changed.  With a very simple search, I can voyeuristically answer any question I have clinging to a balloon in my mind.  I can be in control to what others see, who can search for me, and catch up with old friends.  But what used to be reason to see classmates at a reunion (curiosity, unresolved issues, etc.) can be easily achieved by social networking.

2. People Never Change
I am not referring to those individuals who quit smoking, or decide to try a new hairstyle.  But it is naive and oftentimes heartbreaking to believe people can change their immature behaviors.  Popular then?  Still popular now with the same crowd of people.  To prove my point, we have a Facebook page commemorating the reunion.  Initially we had people posting pictures of high school stuff.  I am in one - from my dear friend, Jahna.  But in every other photo (over 100) I am in none.  Why?  Because I was not part of the parties, the get-togethers, the dates.  I was part of another group of friends, most of which left before me (see below).

Now there is information regarding the venue, price, etc. on the Facebook page.  Since then people are posting when they send in their checks.  Currently "Team Football" is winning.  Is this a surprise?

3. Friends Come and Go
I was quite close to the students who graduated a year before me.  When they graduated, I made friendships with underclassmen.  I had such difficulties trusting people in my class (from years of bullying), that I found peace with individuals who were younger or older.  I have a few close friends who I have had since high school: Dana, Jahna, and Joe from my class, and Rachel from a year after.  I also have remained in contact with other friends, but I have not lost contact with anyone I hold dear.

For me, high school was a season of my life; one of which is nicely packaged in a black and white box.  I am perfectly happy keeping the box wrapped and move forward in my life.

I Dreamt of My House Again...

....but this time it was different.

This time I was able to make the negative energy leave, and I was finally able to enter the attic without panic.  It was as if I finally got to the place I have been hoping to visit all this time.  

Maybe I should start from the beginning.  

Since I can remember, I have had dreams about a house.  Sometimes I am driving to find the house, sometimes I am walking to find it, and other times I am in one of its many rooms.  For awhile I was able to bring different people into the dream with me; almost as if I was lucid dreaming.  I often find myself traveling through the rooms and saw the Gothic decorating scheme.  However, it didn't matter if I climbed the red velvet staircases or if I took the elevator to the top level, each time I was met with adversity. 

Sometimes the adversity was ghosts, sometimes it was me waking up, and sometimes I spent too much time in other rooms to care about the attic. Quite often I am driving to locate the home; and I can see it's exterior before I awake.  In the dream I am very familiar with this home, and I have come to the conclusion I have lived there in another life.

However, the other night I dreamt of my house again, but this time I was able to fight the negative energy and make it up to the attic.  I made peace with those whose paintings hung on the walls, and I was able to view the land outside the gabled window.  The crazy thing is at the end of the dream I flew out the window over the land and looked backwards at my home.  I was at total peace, but also kind of bummed because I could have rather hung out in the house.

I looked up an analysis for these reoccurring dreams.  Here is what it says about dreams of an attic:

Attic
To see an attic in your dream represents hidden memories or repressed thoughts that is being revealed. It also symbolizes your mind, spirituality, and your connection to the higher Self. Alternatively, it signifies difficulties in your life that may hinder you from attaining your goals and aspirations. However, after a long period of struggle, you will overcome these difficulties.

To see a cluttered attic in your dream, is a sign to organize your mind and thoughts. Perhaps, you need to rid yourself of the past and let go of the past emotions that are holding you back.

Here is other applicable analyses:

House (General)

To see a house in your dream represents your own soul and self. Specific rooms in the house indicate a specific aspect of your psyche. In general, the attic represents your intellect, the basement represents the unconscious, etc. If the house is empty, then it indicates feelings of insecurity. If the house is shifting, then it suggests that you are going through some personal changes and changing your belief system. To dream that a house has no walls, represents a lack of privacy. You feel that everyone is looking over your shoulder or up in your business.

To dream that water is rising up in your house, suggests that you are becoming overwhelmed by your emotions.
Window
To see a window in your dream signifies bright hopes, vast possibilities and insight. If the window of a house is dark, then it indicates a loss to your perception or vitality.

To dream that you are looking out the window signifies your outlook on life, your consciousness and your point of view. It also refers to your intuition and awareness. You may be reflecting on a decision. Or you need to go out into the larger world and experience life. If you are looking in the window, then it indicates that you are doing some soul searching and looking within yourself. It is time for some introspection. To see another face in the window in your dream suggests that you are feeling emotionally distant and physically detached. Also consider the emotion depicted on the face.

Let Me Take a Moment

...to fill in the last couple of weeks

Therapy

Yesterday was my fourth visit to pelvic floor therapy.  I have seen improvements, maybe around 20%.  However, it is enough to continue therapy for another week.  I was seriously hoping it would be enough, but thought the improvement was supposed to be significant (i.e. 50% or better). So now I simply up the exercise repetitions, and cross my fingers for the future.

Our Backyard

Maggie LOVES to dig, and our backyard was a perfect canvas for her desire.  We have a very large tree in our backyard, which makes growing plants, veggies, and other foliage almost impossible.  There was a lot of dirt that became mud often.  Especially one day when my yard looked like Woodstock.  The Ladybugs and Maggie were covered head-to-toe in mud, after five minutes of playing with squirt guns.  Something had to change, so Jim and I began brainstorming for a solution.

Interestingly enough, the one thing that seemed to thrive in the shade was an ugly bush.  I truly hated this bush, mostly because when I was doing dishes the girls would hide behind it and I would have to stop what I was doing and call for them.  Plus it was simply ugly.

Jim and I decided to put rocks on both sides of the back door, to see if Maggie would stop digging.  Thankfully it worked.  So we thought we'd continue the rocks in the bush area.  Which meant - NO MORE BUSH!  WOOT!  Here are the results:

A Craft For Fun

A while back I read an article that showed great projects for old sheet music.  My father acquired a TON of old sheet music after his uncle passed, so I took time yesterday to sort through the piles and piles and piles.  I found nice sheets and today I made a wreath from the music.  I am super proud of the project.  I just LOVE it!

It was such a simple project, and the Ladybugs made their own music crafts.  So fun, especially on a day they felt ill.

Happy Wednesday everyone!

Tuesdays with Kelly

*Please note that below is graphic in nature, and may not be suited for all readers.*

I found myself, again, staring at the pock-marked ceiling tile while the bright florescent lights toyed with the idea of blinding me.  Bad country music plays in the background, as I lie, half-naked, underneath a rough paper blanket.  I am doing my best to remove myself from the torture which is about to be performed.

After last week's treatment, multiple daily exercises, and no improvement I find myself wondering why I have returned for more.  But I suppose there is a glimmer of hope for a full recovery of the pelvic floor muscles.  I have been told that there is a 75% success rate with therapy only, so I need to be thinking the glass is 3/4 full rather than 1/4 empty.

Kelly, my technician for two weeks now, enters the room and smiles.  She has been very kind during therapy, and I thanked her for this a week ago.  She says, "Well, are you ready?"  And I'm thinking, "HELL NO!" But say, "sure," instead.  Then she inserts a probe into my anus.  Yes, I said probe.

*Note to reader: I tried to find a picture of the exact probe (size and shape), 

however, this is pretty close* 

Then, while the anal probe is still inside, she inserts a vaginal probe.  

*Note to reader: Again, I was not able to find the picture, 

but imagine a cross between this an a dumb bell*

Kelly gently sticks a monitor on my abs, which is to determine if I am doing the exercises correctly.  Then the countdown begins...and kegels begin.  Yes, while I feel about ready to burst, I have to do five five-second kegels which are monitored on the computer attached to the probes.  

Once the kegels are completed, the ab monitor and anal probe are removed.  Now the vaginal probe is "turned up" using the computer.  I am to let Kelly know when I cannot handle anymore - which might sound erotic, but it is the furthest thing from it.     

After about 15 minutes of pulsing and beating my insides, the process is over.  For another week that is.

I am hopeful, but as I get off the table I realize how sore today's procedure has left me.  In some ways I can definitely see that this would be a reason to avoid going to the doctor over leakage.  But, alas, I will give it a go another week.

Everyday is a Learning Opportunity

After reading many Facebook posts about school letting out for summer, I thought I would share my feelings regarding the subject.

Most educators anticipate and celebrate the upcoming summer months.  I completely understand the desire and necessity to rejuvenate, revitalize, and relax so that one can be a better teacher in the fall.  This is the first year I am actually NOT teaching this summer.  I have offered summer lessons for the past 20 summers (doesn't seem possible, but alas it is true), but felt that my family needed my undivided energy and focus this year.

So I imagine most will find what I write next as a complete contradiction to above.

An Arbitrary Date
I have always felt sorry for teachers when the end of the school year approaches.  National and state benchmarks are needed to be met, but 99% of the time books and curriculum are never finished.  A few of the items are sent home with families on the last day of school (everything but the books that can be reused in the fall), but teachers never assume all students complete the materials during the summer months.  In fact, I know that only a fraction of my private students will practice daily over the summer break, let alone practice at all.

We all know the last week (or weeks) of school are flooded by picnics, field trips, and other fun activities that put traditional curriculum on the back burner.  During the school year, teachers must comply by the requirements put in place by those in charge and therefore, not able to complete everything.  There is also a mindset with children (and their parents) that it is okay to "turn it off" in the summertime.  After all, children are force-fed so much information that a break is definitely needed.  In many cases children are taught to do schoolwork like it is a race, rather than at their own pace which only leads to partial learning.

I can remember the countless tests I studied for and memorized the important dates, definitions, and information, just to simply forget it the day after the test.  Garbage In/Garbage Out I would say.  And I still use this analogy with my students today.  I am not teaching children to learn a song so they can play it/sing it for the recital.  I am teaching students to become musicians - to truly understand what they are learning, so they can one day not need me anymore.

And isn't it interesting that one school ends on one date and another school ends on another date?  I know it has to do with days in school, per government regulations, and how many days are not taught during the "school year".  However, I think the "last day of school" is only an arbitrary date on the calendar.  I have been very aware of this mindset, so I have done my best to engage the Ladybugs in learning activities throughout the summer months.  However, if one homeschools there never has to be a break from the daily grind, the testing, and the ridiculous benchmarks made by people who no longer have a pulse on the changing education dynamics, because there isn't any of that.  There is simply learning.

So What Does This Really Mean?
I believe that learning shouldn't simply happen between 8am and 3pm, Monday thru Friday, September (or end of August) thru the beginning of June (or end of May).  What if school was all year and the students and teachers had breaks throughout the school year?  Like a week here and two weeks there.  And more breaks throughout the day, rather than one recess at lunchtime.  I remember getting three recesses when I was in school, and having an hour for lunch.  Now there is barely enough time to scarf down a lunch and run off steam to be gathered back into the classroom.  And people wonder why we have so many kids with attention problems.

Therefore, rather than the proverbial summer slide, students would move at a steady pace and truly learn about the subject(s).  Students could move into curriculum and objectives when they were ready, rather than when someone sitting in an office thinks it is time.  We could return to a time when school was taught to learn and not to determine who was the smartest or the best.  School used to be a privilege when the public school system was created; now in many cases school is a prison.

I have to agree that with the amount of "stuff" given to students for 9 months of the year, they do need time off to recuperate.  But what is the answer?  I do not have the answer, just ideas that float around in my head.  I do know that with my Ladybugs they each learn differently and at different paces.  Some material is taught and the light bulb goes on quickly, and in other cases the light bulb needs more time to glow.  They also have completely different interests and it is obvious when we are working on daily tasks.

The one thing I've learned this year is that no one situation works for everyone.  Homeschool is not for everyone, just like private nor public is made for everyone.  The bigger issue is that so many people judge others for the decisions they make for their families, rather than embracing that we all must make decisions based on what is right for our own family.

This reminds me of a quote attributed to Einstein (there is much speculation regarding the origins):

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”