Tuesdays with Kelly

*Please note that below is graphic in nature, and may not be suited for all readers.*

I found myself, again, staring at the pock-marked ceiling tile while the bright florescent lights toyed with the idea of blinding me.  Bad country music plays in the background, as I lie, half-naked, underneath a rough paper blanket.  I am doing my best to remove myself from the torture which is about to be performed.

After last week's treatment, multiple daily exercises, and no improvement I find myself wondering why I have returned for more.  But I suppose there is a glimmer of hope for a full recovery of the pelvic floor muscles.  I have been told that there is a 75% success rate with therapy only, so I need to be thinking the glass is 3/4 full rather than 1/4 empty.

Kelly, my technician for two weeks now, enters the room and smiles.  She has been very kind during therapy, and I thanked her for this a week ago.  She says, "Well, are you ready?"  And I'm thinking, "HELL NO!" But say, "sure," instead.  Then she inserts a probe into my anus.  Yes, I said probe.

*Note to reader: I tried to find a picture of the exact probe (size and shape), 

however, this is pretty close* 

Then, while the anal probe is still inside, she inserts a vaginal probe.  

*Note to reader: Again, I was not able to find the picture, 

but imagine a cross between this an a dumb bell*

Kelly gently sticks a monitor on my abs, which is to determine if I am doing the exercises correctly.  Then the countdown begins...and kegels begin.  Yes, while I feel about ready to burst, I have to do five five-second kegels which are monitored on the computer attached to the probes.  

Once the kegels are completed, the ab monitor and anal probe are removed.  Now the vaginal probe is "turned up" using the computer.  I am to let Kelly know when I cannot handle anymore - which might sound erotic, but it is the furthest thing from it.     

After about 15 minutes of pulsing and beating my insides, the process is over.  For another week that is.

I am hopeful, but as I get off the table I realize how sore today's procedure has left me.  In some ways I can definitely see that this would be a reason to avoid going to the doctor over leakage.  But, alas, I will give it a go another week.