Technology, Technology, Why Have You Thou Forsaken Me!?

This week has been one of frustration on a technology level.  Maybe it is because I have been fighting a yucky head cold, or maybe it is karma, or maybe it is just my crummy luck.  But whatever the case might be, it has been a really disturbing week in retrospect.  Why?  Because I was shown just how important technology is to my life; and how difficult it is to function without it.

No Cell Phone
Monday was a challenging day.  It began with waking up to a sore throat.  I didn't feel like getting up, but I had no other choice.  Then Evie lost her tooth.  Well, more accurately, I pulled out a loose tooth from Evie's mouth.  Therefore, there was an ample amount of blood.  Evie also shed more tears than I expected.  She is dramatic, you know.  Then, I made sure Zoe had her morning supplements and went downstairs to feed the animals.  Zoe followed along because she wanted to feed the fish.  However, when she opened the top of a new fish food it fell all over the couch and the basement floor.  She began to cry.  She felt terrible that she made such a big mess.  I took a few minutes to calm her down and reassure her it was an accident, then I tackled the mess.  For most households this mess would not be a big deal, but I had to clean up the fish flakes because our cat, Milo, would spend the rest of the day licking up whatever he could.  In fact, I am certain that if given the opportunity Milo would eat himself to death.

I had just enough time to grab a banana, and out the door Zoe and I went to her orthodontist appointment.  Zoe is in the preparatory stages to get an expander.  Currently tiny blue rubber bands get shoved between her back teeth "spreading" the teeth to allow her molars to come in successfully.  Anyway, we were late to the appointment, but Zoe made it to school without missing anything.

The day continued on like this, and my body became sicker and sicker.  After dinner, Jim took Zoe to her first therapy appointment (which by the way went amazingly well), and I cleaned up the house, bathed Evie, fed the animals, washed dishes, and well, you get the picture.  I plugged my phone in, and as I was about to set it down in the holder, it slipped from my hands.  Yes, I have a case.  Yes, it was not that far from the ground.  But the screen cracked, and well, it was toast.

I called the insurance company for the phone, and they sent me another phone out the following day: Tuesday.

So all of Tuesday I did not have a working phone, and honestly it felt so weird.  I would awkwardly look at the screen, as if thinking something miraculous had changed.  I don't own a watch, so I felt completely isolated in knowing what time it was.  I also freaked out when I had to run a few errands with Evie.  What if I get stranded?  What if my car breaks down?  What if Zoe is sick and the school tries to call me and I am unreachable?!  ARGH!

A new phone came on Tuesday, as expected.  However, it was broken and would not keep a charge.  So on Wednesday (a half day for the ladybugs and me) I spent time making phone calls 1) to get a different phone sent to me, 2) another to deal with a bill that was not paid, and 3) yet another because our cable company had two different amounts owed on our bill appearing online.  Two hours later I began to realize how dependent I am on technology.  But the worst was yet to come.

No Computer Too
Yesterday I did not have a phone (I was waiting for the 2nd "new" phone to arrive) and I did not have a computer.  Why?  Because I stupidly opened an email from my father and clicked on the link he said I would enjoy reading.  Why is this so bad?  Because that stupid link was a way to infect my lovely laptop - my only means of connecting with the outside world.  I had to shut the computer down.  This meant I was without everything.  No texting.  No Facebook.  No reading Blogs!  I felt even more isolated that before.  Why is that?

Fortunately after Jim ran the important programs to catch the issues (I am very lucky he is a tech guy), the laptop was clean and ready to use again.  I also talked to my father who only found one file affected by the email.  So in this case, we were both very lucky.

But the reality is: it was not that long ago that I didn't have a smart phone.  In fact, it has only been that last 4 years that I have had a phone with the ability to read emails and text others.  For years I drove to stores without a phone.  For years I was unavailable when people tried to reach me.  FOR YEARS!  And really, is it that imperative to know what my friends are doing during the day?  Really?  But I could not help wondering what my friends were thankful for (30 Days of Thankfulness), or how their days were shaping up.  And I realized that I am WAY too dependent on technology.  If the Zombie Apocalypse happens and we lose all forms of electricity, I will be forced to wonder who has been bit, who has already turned and what others are doing to survive.

In Conclusion
I do feel that I have a balance of technology in my life.  I do not bring my smart phone everywhere I go, and I have been known to go hours without responding to a text from a friend.  But I still place a high importance on its value.  I do value knowing how my friends are doing.  I do value having the security that if something happened to my children at school I am always reachable.  And I do value being able to send cute messages and emoticons to my husband throughout the work day.

But not having a phone nor computer really made me rethink where we are as a society and where we are going.  I thought it was quite apropos for The New Normal (my new favorite sitcom this season - quite possibly because they made reference to Grey Gardens in the second episode) to air an episode on Tuesday about our societies obsession regarding technology, especially with social networking.  I think many people need to take a step back and determine how important their phones/computer/pads/etc are to them.

I know that my ladybugs will never know what it is like to dial a rotary phone, or have the phone ring more than 10 times before a voicemail picks up, or use a card catalog to look up information.  But I do hope my girls understand the value of technology and not let it lead their lives.

Compartmentalizing My Brain

I came into work early this morning, with the intent of getting more accomplished than I managed to do over the weekend.  I sincerely found myself avoiding doing work for school this weekend, and I imagine you will laugh when I tell you what I did instead.

Avoidance on an Epic Level
On Saturdays I teach pretty much the entire time the sun is up; well at least at this time of year.  So when I finished at 4:35pm I was unable to even put together a sentence.  This happens when my brain has been "on" for 8 hours.  A little Sims on the XBox while the girls were playing outside and Jim was making dinner?  SURE!  Then Uncle Joe came over, and well who can do work when Uncle Joe is over?  Not me!

Yesterday morning I got up early (7:30 is early for a Sunday), and made cherry scones with Zoe.  I am consciously trying to do things that are just Mommy & Zoe time.  Evie has my undivided attention on Tuesdays and Thursdays because she does not have school.  Zoe has not had Mommy alone time in a LONG LONG time.  So make a cognizant effort is definitely the most important.

Evie joined her Daddy for a date at the grocery store, so Zoe and I had more time together.  She also was able to pull her own loose tooth out, which was bitter sweet for my Mommy heart.

Then we met the inlaws for lunch a Panera.  Can't do work while you are at lunch, right?  But then I had this brilliant idea: ORGANIZE THE LADYBUG'S TOY CLOSET!  Yup!  Why not?  So off to Target we went and I purchased a shelf and an under-the-bed storage box.  I also picked up a shoe organizer for our closet.  Why not?  Just one more activity to NOT work.

So I cleaned, built, purged, and organized the heck out of the toy closet.  It was in such need of this, but I really didn't HAVE to do it yesterday.  Of course at the time I was so motivated to NOT work, that the closet seemed to be the most important thing on my agenda.

By the time I completed all the activities I created for myself, I was pooped.  So what better way to regain energy?  Coffee and a rereading of Life of Pi.  I loved Life of Pi when I initially read it years ago.  The movie is coming out soon, so I thought a rereading would be beneficial.  After my regaining of energy time out, I had a yummy quiche and time with the family.  But why let it end there?  So the evening was spent enjoying my family, and once again avoiding the inevitable: doing work for school.

Now Where Does That Leave Me?
So now I am at school and I was mostly successful in getting my needed work done.  I turned in my grades, I made copies of the brass family handouts, I planned for the week ahead, and now I'm taking a blog break.

But I'm wondering how often I create projects to avoid the real problem.  I acknowledged this avoidance yesterday, but how often do I subconsciously create a project to avoid what really needs to be done?  And my brain likes order, so maybe I organize and create order to avoid the mess of life.  I am meditating on the possibility of this brain conversation:

Problem: Too many dishes to wash?
Solution: Why not catalog all the music into binders and dividers?

Problem: Too big to fit into your favorite pants?
Solution: Why not clean and organize the pantry?

Problem: Too many clothes to wash and fold and put away?
Solution: Why not paint the door to the music studio?

Maybe, just maybe, our brain creates opportunities to feel safe and secure ultimately creating a much less stressful environment.  Or maybe this is just my coping mechanism.  We ALL have them.  Some use drugs, some alcohol, some avoid life all together.  So what if my coping skill is organization?  Right?  At least my house looks good.

Finding My Religion - Post Mortem

or What Was I Waiting For, A Slap in the Face?

Three weeks ago, I had probably the worst migraine headache in years.  I was very nauseous, and I did something I have only done a few times in the last 20 years: closed my music studio.  However, in the midst of everything I also sent a letter to our church's moderator regarding my complete disappointment in our church.  I would have posted the letter here (in fact it was online for maybe 2 hours), but Jim wasn't keen on the intimate sharing of the document.  However, in all honesty, my readers could probably construct a letter with blog entries.  If you are new to this blog, here is the link to earlier entries: Finding My Religion

The initial response made my letter seem like an annoyance.  I was told that I should have gone to the church counsel meeting and voiced my concern.  I just shook my head in disbelief.  I responded that with three job schedules and two children and their schedules, coming to church meetings is not always possible.  Plus I was very uncomfortable getting up and reading my letter in front of everyone.

Then nothing.  Of course that is until yesterday.

One Last Mission
In order to feel completed, I decided to champion a mini mission to be completed before Christmas.  The church has been collecting pop-tops for the Ronald McDonald House for many years.  A few years ago, the Sunday School took the collected tops to the Detroit RMH.  It was a great field trip, but nothing has happened since.  So I decided to organize an effort to help support the Ann Arbor facility.  I did research and wrote an article for the messenger and weekly bulletin.  I sent the article and got confirmation from the pastor (who I had copied on the email).  Yesterday I got the messenger, and was my write up in it?  Nope.  A small statement that I was doing the mission, but nothing about what the collection actually accomplishes for the Ronald McDonald House charity.  The bulletin blurb has also not happened.

I realize that the secretary and/or pastor (who manages the messenger) are not the same people who made the decision to use the Sunday School room and Nursery for the Rummage Sale.  They are not the same people who are not interested in doing more mission work.  However, I felt the slap on my face pretty loud and clear.  And I must admit I cried.

I sent an immediate email to the secretary and copied the moderator (who pretty much wrote my earlier letter off), the pastor, and Jim.  I simply stated that the article I wrote did not appear, and why was that.  This morning I got a very emotional response from the secretary, which basically said that she has been preoccupied this month and that I could come into her office and yell at her if I wish.  It also appeared that the original email I sent with the article was far from her memory.  So I sent an email with the original article email attached.  Here is what I wrote:

Here is the "blurb" I wished to have in the messenger as well as a condensed version for the bulletin. I thoroughly understand being preoccupied with life, however, I gave this to you in plenty of time to fit it into the messenger.

I am not going to come into the office and yell at you, that is not in my nature (nor is it productive). However, I am very disheartened that the time I took to write the above was not appropriately given space in the messenger. I wanted people in the church to understand the mission, not just read that someone is finally doing something with the pop tabs.

The blurb that did appear was on the Minister's Pen page, not really an appropriate placement for a mission. However, I noticed a very nice write up for Joseph in there as well as almost an entire page for Pat's humor column.

I actually just found out this week that there is a competition between the Ann Arbor Ronald McDonald House and the Toledo one. The pop tabs need to be delivered before Thanksgiving. I will see to it that our donation is part of the competition.

Thank you.

Then I get a response from the moderator suggesting I select 5 or 6 church members for a meeting regarding my letter to him from three weeks ago.  So now I pray...

Teaching the Whole Child

or Stop Timing Me on Your Cell Phone

Last Saturday, after teaching most of the day, I had a parent show me her cell phone.  I was taking her daughters into the studio to have their piano lessons and she showed me that I was 3 minutes late.  Three whole minutes.  She stood there, with cell phone in hand, and began complaining that I never start lessons on time.  She loudly complained that I am always talking to the previous student's mother about her daughter's progress.  This ultimately takes time away from HER paid lessons.  I tried to explain that I am always a few minutes behind, due to the fact I think it is important to speak with the parents before and after a lesson.  However, she simply stated that I NEVER talk with her after the lesson; she times all this on her cell phone, and that it isn't fair.  She pays for time that I never use.  She also suggested I leave 10 minutes between lessons to take care of talking to parents.

After her rant, I politely informed said mother that I am not going to change my schedule to accommodate more time between lessons.  That I teach 8 hours on Saturdays without a break, and that sometimes I do need to take a few moments to use the restroom, get a drink, AND especially speak with a student's parents.  I assured her that I am not (in any way) neglecting her children and their music education, but that I feel it is essential to teach the whole child.  Therefore, I need to know "what is new" with them.  I do this by developing a relationship with the student's family.  I send emails AND I talk to them.

She finally left the room, and her oldest had her head in her hands and was clearly embarrassed by her mother's feelings.  I just started the lesson, and did not let it influence how I taught the girls.  When the lessons were complete, their mother gave me a piece of paper with her friend's name and number on it.  Apparently this friend only wants me to teach her child.  After her earlier rant, I just took a deep cleansing breath and smiled.  I also made certain to tell her that I do not have anything open at this time.  Nothing.

Why Time Me?
Afterwards I was extremely confused.  I have been teaching lessons for a very long time now, and I have NEVER, NEVER been timed before.  I know what I am doing, and I know I am very good at it.  Through the years I have let students go, as we just didn't gel.  And honestly her children are sweet, but I do feel as if her expectations are not going to be met by me and my teaching style.  English is also her second language, but she pointed out that TIME was the same in any language.

When I rearranged my teaching schedule earlier this fall, I gave her one option to have lessons on Saturdays.  I was pretty certain they would move on to another teacher, but they did not.  It was their opportunity to find someone who better fit their need for lessons without relationships.  They made the switch from Friday afternoons to Saturday afternoons.  The truth is, when they came on Friday afternoons they were my first students and I always started "on time".  However, coming in the afternoon on Saturday means I have been teaching for 4 hours at that point and couldn't possibly be "on time".

My Beef
As a parent, I have never timed lessons for the children.  I make sure to get to the place on time, but most often there is a transition time (a few minutes) between classes (or students).  Even when we decided to change dance studios it wasn't a case of amount of time but the quality of teaching.

I am very surprised at how some people are worried about the cost of lessons based on time.  Are her children learning? Yes.  Are they growing in their skills?  Yes.  And the reason?  Both want to impress me.  They look forward to the high-fives I give when they get something right.  They love the stickers I sometimes bring out for rewards.  They enjoy the laughter when we are talking about music theory concepts.  And in my opinion, I think some things are simply priceless.  The smiles of these children when I'm giving them high-fives is just one of those priceless moments.

I have seen students grow in my care, and to me it has nothing to do with time (or spending 3 minutes of the lesson speaking to their parent).  In fact, I think an essential component of the growth is due to my interest in the whole child - not just if they are practicing.

Most teachers will tell you that the lesson (or school day) does not end when the student (classroom) leave.  I am always looking for new music for my students, or better and creative teaching methods as well.  I have a business to run, yes, but I am also teaching because I am invested in each and every one of those children.  Many people get overtime (or compensation) for overtime invested in a job - not a teacher.  And especially not a teacher who teachers from her own home.

So for those of you out there who concern yourself with timing your child's lesson - shame on you!  Shame on you for not realizing the true teaching that is going on here.  The concern for your WHOLE child, not just the skills being taught.