Number Seven - 40 @ 40

Getting The Boobies Smooshed
I originally did not think I would post about my first mammogram, but because my experience was so positive I feel it essential for others to read this.

Was it pain free?  Well, no - obviously not.  They are smashing your breasts between two hard, flat surfaces.  And the underarm fat/boob stuff is also part of the body that is smashed.  However, 30 seconds of pressure (twice on each side) is nothing compared to dying.  I realize that is a dramatic statement, but it is true.  It's kind of like being told if you get a shot you could avoid a disease that would hurt you and potentially kill you.  You would get the shot, even if you were deathly afraid of shots.

Now I realize that getting a mammogram isn't preventing cancer, it is simply finding if you have questionable breast cell tissue.  But once a year for a few moments of pain is much better than the unknown and even better than finding out you could have prevented years of pain.  Honestly, my fear of the unknown was quickly subsided once I got in the room.

I went to a really lovely office: Oakwood Breast Care Center.  If you live in the Dearborn area, I highly suggest having your mammogram done there.  I have had ultrasounds at the building and I had knee surgery here as well.  I also used to see a doctor for peeing myself at the same building.  It is a very lovely office space and the staff are all very kind.  Besides taking off your shirt and putting on a kimono-like wrap shit, the most amusing part is the little stickers that get put on your nipples.  They are put there for the radiologist to tell the location of the middle of your breast.  WARNING: unless you have been desensitized by years of breast feeding, the stickers pull your skin when coming off.  I assume it would hurt quite bad if I wasn't already carrying numb nipples.

I was gone for approximately an hour, which includes drive time, registration (I got a lovely hospital bracelet) and procedure itself.  I honestly did not encounter any problems, and would chose a mammogram over quite a few procedures, for instance: flu shot, having a tooth pulled, hemorrhoids, and having cramps. If you are over 40 and have never had a mammogram because you are afraid, or if your doctor has never sent you for one - BE PROACTIVE!

Number Six - 40 @ 40

Embracing My Myopic Condition

When I was 8 years old and in 3rd grade I got glasses.  It wasn't like I was the only kid with glasses, and most of my family wore glasses, but I still had no desire to wear them.  It was like giving the bullies yet another thing to use as material.  But I couldn't see the stupid blackboard, and honestly I couldn't pretend any longer.  I cared too much about my grades.

Wearing glasses when I was young was pretty much a death sentence.  Of course for those who never lived during the 70s and 80s, you would never know what I was talking about.  You have seen cool geeks and other trendsetters wear glasses.  But there are those of us who had to wear glasses that will never forget the shear ugliness.  In case you were not a child in the 70s or 80s, or if you have conveniently forgot, here are some pictures:

By 7th grade, and after a lot of persuasion and pleading, I got a pair of contacts.  Of course, they were some crazy gas permeable lenses that had to be cleaned once a week using a container that rotated them around and a little pill that would fizz and make the water appear Alka-Seltzer-like.  But it didn't matter how much effort was involved, for I refused to wear glasses EVER again in public.

Contacts became a part of my routine - and honestly I really had no problems with them.  Over the years I went from hard gas-permeable to soft to disposable.  The older I got the more expense contacts became, and being a mom made contacts a bit more annoying.  For instance, that mid-afternoon nap.  I would wake and my eyes were all cloudy and dry.  And what if I fell asleep with one of the girls, again the dry, cloudy eyes.  However, the last straw was when I couldn't see my food in front of me nor could I read while wearing contacts.  An eye doctor visit proved that I have a slight case of "old age" or in medical terms: presbyopia.  I would need bifocals, but I had the choice this year to not get them yet.

I chose to get glasses and contacts as usual.  I sincerely don't know why I got the contacts, because they were a lot of cash and the visit is always $50 more, which is NOT covered by insurance.  Quite stupid actually, but the reality of life.  I chalk it up to habit, and my vanity.  However, I took the plunge, and wore the glasses out in public.  I have been wearing glasses every day since.  I have also noticed that my old age vision is getting worse, not a ton, but enough.  I currently take my glasses off to read and many times to eat.

I could get surgery on each eye, I know that.  However, glasses don't have the stigma they once did.  I have students who wear glasses without prescription lenses even, and they do this for fashion reasons!  My Evie has a pair of Hello Kitty glasses that she wears for fun as well.  Glasses seem to be cool now, so why bother to wear contacts anymore?  Really there is no reason.

So at 40 I have accepted that glasses are a reality, and that is okay.  Maybe it is because I don't care, but maybe it is because I am more concerned about actually seeing and not how others see me.