After an exhausting week, my family and I skipped church yesterday morning. We needed a bit of family time - without others involved. Therefore, I missed the discussion on the second parable with the Bible Study group. However, I did read the second chapter and found it to be really compelling. The reading was "The Man Who Talked with His Soul," based on Luke 12:13-21. This parable is often called the one about the "rich man".
One passage that spoke to me was, "...a person can know all the facts, yet miss the point. We can reason logically, yet come to the wrong conclusion. We can say all the right words while having a wrong heart."
As mentioned in previous blogs, I've recently become friends again with my ex-husband, Pete*. Those that know me, realize that since my ex and I knew each other most of our lives it doesn't seem odd to rekindle a friendship. I suppose after 9 years, wounds have been healed and scars have been bandaged. I don't have regrets, but I always hoped that he would know the truth about his childhood.
In a nutshell, Pete never knew his father and his mother told him that if he ever tried to find him she'd know Pete didn't love her anymore. His mother has her own reality of life, and she has spent the last 34 years convincing Pete that her reality is the truth. Unfortunately, no matter how hard he tries to escape, Pete is caught up in the toxic reality his mother has spoon fed him.
After a failed marriage with me, and his second on the edge of ending, Pete did what I have always hoped he would: he contacted his father. I will never forget hearing those words for the first time. It was almost dream-like! Hopefully his father will shed some light on the past and clear up the "reality" that has encompassed Pete's life from little on. It is this toxic bizarre "reality" that ultimately ruined our marriage, and if things don't change will always be a life-long thorn in Pete's side.
I truly believe that some people are so selfish they can't see past their selfish ends to view how it affects others. His mother was so selfish that she never wanted her child to contact his father. This behavior did affect Pete's father (if that was her goal), but it also affected how Pete views relationships, and himself. His mother is NOT the only one that will ever truly love him, even though that's what he was brought up believing.
The story of the rich man describes him as "an exceedingly fortunate man. He has the kind of land farmers dream of, and he knows what to do with it." Another comment is, "[the rich man] speaks sixty words, and eleven of them are I or my. And all of them-every single one!-are concerned with his own welfare. This may be a spiritual man, but he is one of the smallest men you'll ever meet."
People like this leave out other people and they leave out God. "Yes, and it's possible even to pray, and while praying move farther and farther away from God, because we emply prayer only to enlist God's power for our own selfish ends."
I think at some level we are all selfish. The "mother-bear" instinct comes out when we feel the need to protect our young, and the "why me" attitude can creep into our thoughts and worries. But it takes a truly foolish person to be so myopic that she ignors the needs and best interests of her children.
"When you put [the parable] all together, you realize that God was saying, 'You damned fool.'" The author clarifies damed by stating, "Damned has to do with eternal matters, not the petty stuff of thoughtless anger."
So I suppose Pete's mom might have her "reality" on earth, but eventually her crimes of selfishness will be punished by a higher power.
*names have been changed for the respect of those involved*
Monday, September 28, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
pilgrimage - day #40
Pilgrimage End...
As I come to the end of the "Pilgrimage," I am confident I've been lead in the direction of the Coffee Hour at Zoe's school. Wednesday's now encompass two Bible studies: Genesis, and the Bible's teachings.
I am also thrilled to continue a Bible study with my church: Parables from the Back Side. It is a small group, but a wonderful opportunity to study together.
Reading scripture together and studying the verses is so much more fulfilling than studying on my own. As much as I enjoyed parts of the "Pilgrimage," I find myself wanting to continue in group (large and small) studies rather than private ones. I love hearing the variety of opinions, and heartfelt questions. It also helps me to be a part of something greater than myself.
Here's the the start of the next part of my journey - may the road be filed with wonder.
Today's Scripture
Psalms 30:1-5
I will extol you, O Lord, for you have drawn me up,
and did not let my foes rejoice over me.
O Lord my God, I cried to you for help,
and you have healed me.
O Lord, you brought up my soul from Sheol,
restored me to life from among those gone down to the Pit.
Sing praises to the Lord, O you his faithful ones,
and give thanks to his holy name.
For his anger is but for a moment;
his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may linger for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.
As I come to the end of the "Pilgrimage," I am confident I've been lead in the direction of the Coffee Hour at Zoe's school. Wednesday's now encompass two Bible studies: Genesis, and the Bible's teachings.
I am also thrilled to continue a Bible study with my church: Parables from the Back Side. It is a small group, but a wonderful opportunity to study together.
Reading scripture together and studying the verses is so much more fulfilling than studying on my own. As much as I enjoyed parts of the "Pilgrimage," I find myself wanting to continue in group (large and small) studies rather than private ones. I love hearing the variety of opinions, and heartfelt questions. It also helps me to be a part of something greater than myself.
Here's the the start of the next part of my journey - may the road be filed with wonder.
Today's Scripture
Psalms 30:1-5
I will extol you, O Lord, for you have drawn me up,
and did not let my foes rejoice over me.
O Lord my God, I cried to you for help,
and you have healed me.
O Lord, you brought up my soul from Sheol,
restored me to life from among those gone down to the Pit.
Sing praises to the Lord, O you his faithful ones,
and give thanks to his holy name.
For his anger is but for a moment;
his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may linger for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.
my relationship with Bonnie #9
Today's Bible study started chapter 2: "The Bible - A Book From God."
Debbie joined Bonnie today, and once again I felt such heartfelt appreciation for allowing the study in my home.
One of the Bible questions was, "What impresses you about the distribution of the Bible?" Yes, I already knew the Bible was the most published book ever. It is available to 90 percent of the world's population, and in 2300 languages. However, it isn't the huge amount of Bible produced and distributed that suprises me. I am actually surprised that most Christian people own at least one Bible, but have never opened the cover to read the word. Bonnie and Debbie were pleased at my assessment, and we talked about how the Bible is a fixture in most Christian homes, but viewed as a relic to be displayed.
The next topic was about the Bible as the inspired word of God. 2 Timothy 3:16 states, "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." This idea does not come easy to me. I believe that quite often the laws and cultural writings were done so to protect the people of the time in which the book was written. They may have been inspired by God to protect his people, but in some cases man's arrogance is portrayed in the scripture.
I will agree that the Bible illustrates God's purpose. The Old Testament predicts Jesus, and the New Testament is a reference to God's purpose through Jesus. I appreciate the "factual" information and research that is proven in the Bible. The Witnesses do a fabulous job at answering any question one might have.
Of course all this scripture is now clouded over by my recent reading of Ishmael. I am now completely unsure how I feel about MAN as the reason for the creation of the Earth. Are we supposed to be it? Creation ends with us? As the final creation of God, we have done a horrible job protecting the Earth. With that said, I do like the scientific knowledge presented in Isaiah and Job. Yes, the Bible isn't a science book, but having the prophets write about what was "unknown" at the time is really awesome.
In Isaiah 40:22 the Bible states, "He sits enthroned about the circle of the earth, and its people are like grasshoppers." The earth is a circle; it is stated right here in the Bible. During all those "dark ages" where people believed the earth was flat! All they had to do was read the Bible. Of course, with most not being able to read, it's no wonder why people didn't know the truth!
In Job 26:7 the Bible states, "He spreads out the northern skies, over empty space; he suspends the earth over nothing." So right here it clearly states that the earth is suspended without being attached to anything. No turtle, elephant, or string. Right here in this verse the axis is described. I find this so cool!
I also asked a question that was brought up at the Genesis Bible study earlier this morning. Someone asked if animals and people lived in harmony before sin. Bascially, could people pet a lion; and could man lead the way God requested when he created man? There was not a definite answer given, so I asked the ladies this afternoon. They were quick with a response. Isaiah 10:6-9 describes the way things will be in the new system. Therefore, this is how things "used" to be before sin came.
"The wolf will live with the lamb,
the leopard will lie down with the goat,
the calf and the lion and the yearling together;
and a little child will lead them.
The cow will feed with the bear,
thier young will lie down together,
and the lion will eat straw like the ox.
The infant will play near the hole of the cobra,
and the young child put his hand into the vipers nest.
They will neither harm nor destroy
on all my holy mountain,
for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the Lord
as the waters cover the sea."
As the day comes to a close, I am so glad to have spent another Wednesday afternoon with Bonnie.
Debbie joined Bonnie today, and once again I felt such heartfelt appreciation for allowing the study in my home.
One of the Bible questions was, "What impresses you about the distribution of the Bible?" Yes, I already knew the Bible was the most published book ever. It is available to 90 percent of the world's population, and in 2300 languages. However, it isn't the huge amount of Bible produced and distributed that suprises me. I am actually surprised that most Christian people own at least one Bible, but have never opened the cover to read the word. Bonnie and Debbie were pleased at my assessment, and we talked about how the Bible is a fixture in most Christian homes, but viewed as a relic to be displayed.
The next topic was about the Bible as the inspired word of God. 2 Timothy 3:16 states, "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." This idea does not come easy to me. I believe that quite often the laws and cultural writings were done so to protect the people of the time in which the book was written. They may have been inspired by God to protect his people, but in some cases man's arrogance is portrayed in the scripture.
I will agree that the Bible illustrates God's purpose. The Old Testament predicts Jesus, and the New Testament is a reference to God's purpose through Jesus. I appreciate the "factual" information and research that is proven in the Bible. The Witnesses do a fabulous job at answering any question one might have.
Of course all this scripture is now clouded over by my recent reading of Ishmael. I am now completely unsure how I feel about MAN as the reason for the creation of the Earth. Are we supposed to be it? Creation ends with us? As the final creation of God, we have done a horrible job protecting the Earth. With that said, I do like the scientific knowledge presented in Isaiah and Job. Yes, the Bible isn't a science book, but having the prophets write about what was "unknown" at the time is really awesome.
In Isaiah 40:22 the Bible states, "He sits enthroned about the circle of the earth, and its people are like grasshoppers." The earth is a circle; it is stated right here in the Bible. During all those "dark ages" where people believed the earth was flat! All they had to do was read the Bible. Of course, with most not being able to read, it's no wonder why people didn't know the truth!
In Job 26:7 the Bible states, "He spreads out the northern skies, over empty space; he suspends the earth over nothing." So right here it clearly states that the earth is suspended without being attached to anything. No turtle, elephant, or string. Right here in this verse the axis is described. I find this so cool!
I also asked a question that was brought up at the Genesis Bible study earlier this morning. Someone asked if animals and people lived in harmony before sin. Bascially, could people pet a lion; and could man lead the way God requested when he created man? There was not a definite answer given, so I asked the ladies this afternoon. They were quick with a response. Isaiah 10:6-9 describes the way things will be in the new system. Therefore, this is how things "used" to be before sin came.
"The wolf will live with the lamb,
the leopard will lie down with the goat,
the calf and the lion and the yearling together;
and a little child will lead them.
The cow will feed with the bear,
thier young will lie down together,
and the lion will eat straw like the ox.
The infant will play near the hole of the cobra,
and the young child put his hand into the vipers nest.
They will neither harm nor destroy
on all my holy mountain,
for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the Lord
as the waters cover the sea."
As the day comes to a close, I am so glad to have spent another Wednesday afternoon with Bonnie.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Genesis Bible Study
Today began my Woman's Bible Study, called Coffee Hour. This study takes place at Zoe's preschool, so it's very convenient for me. Plus, they have free child care for Eva - how cool is that?!
The theme is, "Faithful God," which is based on Genesis 17:7, "I will establish my covenant as an everlasting covenant between me and you and you descendants after you for the generations to come, to be your God and the God of your descendants after you." There are 2 parts to this study - 12 weeks each. There will be special lunches and brunches throughout the school year.
I'm really excited about this, as I am anticipating the addition of many new friends.
This morning we discussed Genesis 1 - 2:3. There were such awesome responses to the study questions. I think the age difference in the attendees is fantastic, and it really helps to encourage a variety of discussions and questions/answers.
I think the one facet I took away from the meeting (besides meeting a great group of women) was the 7th day of creation. Even God found balance after a week of work. It should inspire us to make that time for harmony and balance in life. God didn't HAVE to have a day off, but he did - and I think it is a model for humans to employ. I will do my best to remember this when I feel overwhelmed or over-scheduled.
The theme is, "Faithful God," which is based on Genesis 17:7, "I will establish my covenant as an everlasting covenant between me and you and you descendants after you for the generations to come, to be your God and the God of your descendants after you." There are 2 parts to this study - 12 weeks each. There will be special lunches and brunches throughout the school year.
I'm really excited about this, as I am anticipating the addition of many new friends.
This morning we discussed Genesis 1 - 2:3. There were such awesome responses to the study questions. I think the age difference in the attendees is fantastic, and it really helps to encourage a variety of discussions and questions/answers.
I think the one facet I took away from the meeting (besides meeting a great group of women) was the 7th day of creation. Even God found balance after a week of work. It should inspire us to make that time for harmony and balance in life. God didn't HAVE to have a day off, but he did - and I think it is a model for humans to employ. I will do my best to remember this when I feel overwhelmed or over-scheduled.
pilgrimage - day #39
Today's Scripture
Psalm 126
When the Lord restored the fortune of Zion,
were were like those who dream.
Then our mouth was filed with laughter,
and our tongue with shouts of joy;
then it was said among the nations,
"The Lord has done great things for them."
The Lord has done great things for us,
and we rejoiced.
Restore our fortunes, O Lord,
like the watercourses in the Negeb.
May those who sow in tears reap with shouts of joy.
Those who go out weeping,
bearing the seed for sowing,
shall come home with shouts of joy,
carrying their sheaves.
Since I was curious, Negeb means "to be dry," or "parched regions."
Today's topic is "Leaving the Past." I have had a few really bizarre dreams lately. I am still married to my ex-husband and we are dealing with weird life experiences. At some point in the dreams, I am reminded that I am still in love with Jim, and I can't imagine being with anyone else. I often think, "why am I with this guy again? I thought I divorced him!"
Mike has often crept into dreams over the years. Usually we are hanging out, or reliving past events in our lives. But I'm wondering if actually hanging out with him and his family lately has provoked odd brain synopsis. In fact, last night I was with him and his family (including Amanda, his wife) moving into a new house. I wasn't married to Mike, but living with his family. I didn't have the girls, but I kept wondering why I wasn't with Jim. Oh well.
So do I leave the past behind? Yes, and no. I suppose it depends on the situation or relationship. Mostly it depends on if there was unfinished business attached to either. At least I am having dreams of who Mike currently is: married to Amanda, a father, etc. I still have strange dreams about Dave, an ex boyfriend from a lifetime ago. However, in the dreams he has hair, is skinny, and looks like he did in high school. I suppose that is where my heart and mind remember him best - the past.
I am hoping that my spiritual journey allows me to move forward in all my past relationships, even the ones that have business unfinished.
Psalm 126
When the Lord restored the fortune of Zion,
were were like those who dream.
Then our mouth was filed with laughter,
and our tongue with shouts of joy;
then it was said among the nations,
"The Lord has done great things for them."
The Lord has done great things for us,
and we rejoiced.
Restore our fortunes, O Lord,
like the watercourses in the Negeb.
May those who sow in tears reap with shouts of joy.
Those who go out weeping,
bearing the seed for sowing,
shall come home with shouts of joy,
carrying their sheaves.
Since I was curious, Negeb means "to be dry," or "parched regions."
Today's topic is "Leaving the Past." I have had a few really bizarre dreams lately. I am still married to my ex-husband and we are dealing with weird life experiences. At some point in the dreams, I am reminded that I am still in love with Jim, and I can't imagine being with anyone else. I often think, "why am I with this guy again? I thought I divorced him!"
Mike has often crept into dreams over the years. Usually we are hanging out, or reliving past events in our lives. But I'm wondering if actually hanging out with him and his family lately has provoked odd brain synopsis. In fact, last night I was with him and his family (including Amanda, his wife) moving into a new house. I wasn't married to Mike, but living with his family. I didn't have the girls, but I kept wondering why I wasn't with Jim. Oh well.
So do I leave the past behind? Yes, and no. I suppose it depends on the situation or relationship. Mostly it depends on if there was unfinished business attached to either. At least I am having dreams of who Mike currently is: married to Amanda, a father, etc. I still have strange dreams about Dave, an ex boyfriend from a lifetime ago. However, in the dreams he has hair, is skinny, and looks like he did in high school. I suppose that is where my heart and mind remember him best - the past.
I am hoping that my spiritual journey allows me to move forward in all my past relationships, even the ones that have business unfinished.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
pilgrimage - day #38
According to the author, "Pilgrimage is both the journey and the destination."
I'm not looking for a destination, so I'm not sure I would know it when I got there. My pilgrimage's sole purpose (or soul purpose) is the journey. I don't have an "end" in sight, and is that okay? Is it okay to just take the walk? At this point, I'm going to have to say, "yes, the walk is even more important than the destination."
Today's Scripture
Psalms 48:12-14)
Walk about Zion, go all around it,
count its towers,
consider well its ramparts;
go through its citadels,
that you may tell the next generation
that this is God,
our God forever and ever.
He will be our guide forever.
I'm not looking for a destination, so I'm not sure I would know it when I got there. My pilgrimage's sole purpose (or soul purpose) is the journey. I don't have an "end" in sight, and is that okay? Is it okay to just take the walk? At this point, I'm going to have to say, "yes, the walk is even more important than the destination."
Today's Scripture
Psalms 48:12-14)
Walk about Zion, go all around it,
count its towers,
consider well its ramparts;
go through its citadels,
that you may tell the next generation
that this is God,
our God forever and ever.
He will be our guide forever.
Monday, September 21, 2009
riches from God and Creationism
Last night I finally was able to flip through the latest Jehovah Witness monthly literature: The Watchtower and Awake!
One article in particular was very interesting to me: "Riches that Come From God." I am transported back to freshman year of high school, and the youth group from church. It was my first day of the group. We were supposed to go around the room telling our name, our school, our interests, and what God did for us this week. The sick and twisted part was the amount of kids that attributed their high grades to God. Prayers were sent and he provided his help. I was only there for the first two Sundays, and then I decided to help in the nursery. I just couldn't wrap my brain around people that prayed for an A on a test.
But even adults pray for "stuff" that does not seem appropriate to me. Praying for money is one of them. If you are lucky enough to have monetary riches, you are no greater to God than one that is less fortunate with money. One point that I particularly liked was:
"The Christians at Smyrna, though poor, possessed riches far more valuable than silver or gold. They were rich because of their faith and integrity to God. Faith of itself is precious because it 'is not a possession of all people.' (2 Thessalonians 3:2). Those not having faith are actually poor in God's eyes."
Internal peace has been a desire of mine for over a year. Finding peace and comfort in God is the reason I started this spiritual journey. In Isaiah 48:18 it states, "If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea."
Another interesting point from the literature is about that inner peace of which I speak. That is the wealth I desire. The articles states:
"Those with faith in God benefit from 'the riches of his kindness and forbearance and long-suffering.' (Romans 2:4) They also enjoy 'forgiveness of [their] trespasses' because of their faith in Jesus' ransom sacrifice. (Ephesians 1:7) Furthermore, theirs is the wisdom that 'the word of the Christ' brings to those who have faith. (Colosians 3:16) As they pray to God in faith, 'the peace of God that excels all though' guards their hearts and minds, bringing them contentment and happiness. (Philippians 4:7)"
The second article I found really interesting was, "Adam and Eve Were They Real People?" I am prone to be an Intelligent Design person. However, I always find it interesting to hear all points of view on the validity of Bible stories and "myths". One of the really interesting view points in the article is, "The book Nanomedicine states that the human body is made up of 41 chemical elements. These basic elements - carbon, iron, oxygen, and others - are all present in the "dust" of the earth. Thus, as Genesis states, humans are truly formed 'out of the dust from the ground.'"
The article illustrates other points to prove Adams existance. However, I think there was one very powerful idea. Most Christians think that Adam and Eve is simply a story or myth, not based on truth. These Christians believe that to accept Adam and Eve as truth or myth is not an essential Christian facet. The article states that to be a true Christian, one must believe in original sin; resulting in Jesus coming to save us.
"The perfect life that Jesus sacrificed to redeem obedient mankind corresponds to the perfect life that Adam lost as a result of the original sin in Eden. Clearly, if Adam did not exist, Christ's ransom sacrifice would be rendered completely meaningless."
What a fabulous point to make in the quest for people to believe in the Garden of Eden story in Genesis. If there wasn't original sin, why did Jesus have to come to Earth to save us?
This is a very thought provoking idea, one that I will continue to ponder.
One article in particular was very interesting to me: "Riches that Come From God." I am transported back to freshman year of high school, and the youth group from church. It was my first day of the group. We were supposed to go around the room telling our name, our school, our interests, and what God did for us this week. The sick and twisted part was the amount of kids that attributed their high grades to God. Prayers were sent and he provided his help. I was only there for the first two Sundays, and then I decided to help in the nursery. I just couldn't wrap my brain around people that prayed for an A on a test.
But even adults pray for "stuff" that does not seem appropriate to me. Praying for money is one of them. If you are lucky enough to have monetary riches, you are no greater to God than one that is less fortunate with money. One point that I particularly liked was:
"The Christians at Smyrna, though poor, possessed riches far more valuable than silver or gold. They were rich because of their faith and integrity to God. Faith of itself is precious because it 'is not a possession of all people.' (2 Thessalonians 3:2). Those not having faith are actually poor in God's eyes."
Internal peace has been a desire of mine for over a year. Finding peace and comfort in God is the reason I started this spiritual journey. In Isaiah 48:18 it states, "If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea."
Another interesting point from the literature is about that inner peace of which I speak. That is the wealth I desire. The articles states:
"Those with faith in God benefit from 'the riches of his kindness and forbearance and long-suffering.' (Romans 2:4) They also enjoy 'forgiveness of [their] trespasses' because of their faith in Jesus' ransom sacrifice. (Ephesians 1:7) Furthermore, theirs is the wisdom that 'the word of the Christ' brings to those who have faith. (Colosians 3:16) As they pray to God in faith, 'the peace of God that excels all though' guards their hearts and minds, bringing them contentment and happiness. (Philippians 4:7)"
The second article I found really interesting was, "Adam and Eve Were They Real People?" I am prone to be an Intelligent Design person. However, I always find it interesting to hear all points of view on the validity of Bible stories and "myths". One of the really interesting view points in the article is, "The book Nanomedicine states that the human body is made up of 41 chemical elements. These basic elements - carbon, iron, oxygen, and others - are all present in the "dust" of the earth. Thus, as Genesis states, humans are truly formed 'out of the dust from the ground.'"
The article illustrates other points to prove Adams existance. However, I think there was one very powerful idea. Most Christians think that Adam and Eve is simply a story or myth, not based on truth. These Christians believe that to accept Adam and Eve as truth or myth is not an essential Christian facet. The article states that to be a true Christian, one must believe in original sin; resulting in Jesus coming to save us.
"The perfect life that Jesus sacrificed to redeem obedient mankind corresponds to the perfect life that Adam lost as a result of the original sin in Eden. Clearly, if Adam did not exist, Christ's ransom sacrifice would be rendered completely meaningless."
What a fabulous point to make in the quest for people to believe in the Garden of Eden story in Genesis. If there wasn't original sin, why did Jesus have to come to Earth to save us?
This is a very thought provoking idea, one that I will continue to ponder.
pilgrimage - day #37
Today another school week begins for us; today I'm hosting the first Eve Circle; today I have a laundry area to clean from the plumbing work yesterday; today I have errands to run, food to prepare and a house to clean.
Lists of things has always been my way of remembering and establishing a system of daily task organization. I long to be less anal retentive, and wish that my spiritual journey results in less restrictive behavior. The one thing I have not done during this journey is write "Bible study" nor "Pilgrimage on my "To Do" list. Why is that?
I'm hoping it's because like brushing my teeth and taking a shower, a daily spiritual time will become habitual. I don't wish the time to be mundane, like brushing teeth. Rather I am hoping that I'll continue to want to read more, learn more, and thirst for the word each and every day of my life.
Today's Scripture
Psalms 25:8-10
Good and upright is the Lord;
therefore he instructs sinners in the way.
He leads the humble in what is right,
and teaches the humble his way.
All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness,
for those who keep his convenant and his decrees.
Lists of things has always been my way of remembering and establishing a system of daily task organization. I long to be less anal retentive, and wish that my spiritual journey results in less restrictive behavior. The one thing I have not done during this journey is write "Bible study" nor "Pilgrimage on my "To Do" list. Why is that?
I'm hoping it's because like brushing my teeth and taking a shower, a daily spiritual time will become habitual. I don't wish the time to be mundane, like brushing teeth. Rather I am hoping that I'll continue to want to read more, learn more, and thirst for the word each and every day of my life.
Today's Scripture
Psalms 25:8-10
Good and upright is the Lord;
therefore he instructs sinners in the way.
He leads the humble in what is right,
and teaches the humble his way.
All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness,
for those who keep his convenant and his decrees.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
parables
Today began my Bible study on the parables of Jesus. Our first was titled "The Value of the House."
Matthew 7:24-27 (The Message)
"'These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundational words, words to build a life on. If you work these words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who build his house on solid rock. Rain poured down, the river flooded, a tornado hit - but nothing moved that house. It was fixed to the rock.
But if you just use my words in Bible studies and don't work them into your life, you are like a stupid carpenter who built his house on the sandy beach. When a storm rolled in a the waves came up, it collapsed like a house of cards.'"
We had a brilliant conversation, and I was excited to get a variety of "house" ideas. None of us felt our houses were on solid rock...maybe pebbles, but definitely not sand. The study book had a few good thoughts that provoked great discussion amongst the members.
"The difference between these two men [the carpenters] is not a difference in ability, of knowledge, or of opporutnity; it is a difference of choice."
"But most of us are optimists enough that we think we're among those who will beat the odds."
"Most of us charge into life as if we were going to be able to develop a who subdivision of lives, so that if this one didn't work out, we'd move into another just down the street.
"When I was a pastor, I was astonished by those persons who responded to the storm by complaining, 'Why should this happen to me?' I found it hard not to reply, 'Why should you be exempt? Didn't you know that to live on this planet is to meet a storm now and then?'"
I'm truly looking forward to the weekly studies about the parables.
Matthew 7:24-27 (The Message)
"'These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundational words, words to build a life on. If you work these words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who build his house on solid rock. Rain poured down, the river flooded, a tornado hit - but nothing moved that house. It was fixed to the rock.
But if you just use my words in Bible studies and don't work them into your life, you are like a stupid carpenter who built his house on the sandy beach. When a storm rolled in a the waves came up, it collapsed like a house of cards.'"
We had a brilliant conversation, and I was excited to get a variety of "house" ideas. None of us felt our houses were on solid rock...maybe pebbles, but definitely not sand. The study book had a few good thoughts that provoked great discussion amongst the members.
"The difference between these two men [the carpenters] is not a difference in ability, of knowledge, or of opporutnity; it is a difference of choice."
"But most of us are optimists enough that we think we're among those who will beat the odds."
"Most of us charge into life as if we were going to be able to develop a who subdivision of lives, so that if this one didn't work out, we'd move into another just down the street.
"When I was a pastor, I was astonished by those persons who responded to the storm by complaining, 'Why should this happen to me?' I found it hard not to reply, 'Why should you be exempt? Didn't you know that to live on this planet is to meet a storm now and then?'"
I'm truly looking forward to the weekly studies about the parables.
pilgrimage - day #36
the long and winding road....
I had this song on my mind this morning. And if you view it as a spiritual song, it's really powerful! Of course I love the Beatles, more than the average 30-something...so this is a perfect way to start a Sunday.
Today's Scripture
Pslams 71:20-21
You who have made me see many troubles and calamities
will revive me again;
from the depths of the earth
you will bring me up again.
You will increase my honor,
and comfort me once again.
I had this song on my mind this morning. And if you view it as a spiritual song, it's really powerful! Of course I love the Beatles, more than the average 30-something...so this is a perfect way to start a Sunday.
Today's Scripture
Pslams 71:20-21
You who have made me see many troubles and calamities
will revive me again;
from the depths of the earth
you will bring me up again.
You will increase my honor,
and comfort me once again.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
pilgrimage - day #35
Today's Scripture
Pslams 16: 1 - 3
Protect me, O God, for in you I take refuge.
I say to the Lord, "You are my Lord;
I have no good apart from you."
As for the holy ones in the land, they are the noble,
in whom is all my delight.
I had someone comment on my "good Mary" post from "pilgrimage - day #31." The author was, CAT, and this is what he/she wrote:
You should NOT pray the rosary or any other repetitive prayers. Look at what Jesus stated in the sermon on the mount at Matthew 6:7 and 7:21-23. Praying the rosary would definitely be displeasing to our heavenly Lord and Almighty Father.
This comment refers to the passage stating, "And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words."
This passage was speaking about the pharisees of the time. The men would stand on corners and shout prayers to God, drawing attention to themselves. Jesus was stating that praying for attention and just saying words is not the way to pray.
This reader must have missed some of my other blog posts, because I did mention the passage about "babbling like pagans." However, I also think CAT was not completely understanding why I wanted to use a rosary. It is in NO WAY to pray to Mary; rather I would like to use the "hail Mary" (or possibly a Biblical verse) as a way of meditation - to become focused to correctly pray to God. This would all be done in the comforts of my home, not on street corners like the pharisees and sadducees.
However, I do appreciate that my blog has been viewed by others, and that people feel compelled to comment on what they read. Thank you to all who fit this description, and those that just stop by to read.
Pslams 16: 1 - 3
Protect me, O God, for in you I take refuge.
I say to the Lord, "You are my Lord;
I have no good apart from you."
As for the holy ones in the land, they are the noble,
in whom is all my delight.
I had someone comment on my "good Mary" post from "pilgrimage - day #31." The author was, CAT, and this is what he/she wrote:
You should NOT pray the rosary or any other repetitive prayers. Look at what Jesus stated in the sermon on the mount at Matthew 6:7 and 7:21-23. Praying the rosary would definitely be displeasing to our heavenly Lord and Almighty Father.
This comment refers to the passage stating, "And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words."
This passage was speaking about the pharisees of the time. The men would stand on corners and shout prayers to God, drawing attention to themselves. Jesus was stating that praying for attention and just saying words is not the way to pray.
This reader must have missed some of my other blog posts, because I did mention the passage about "babbling like pagans." However, I also think CAT was not completely understanding why I wanted to use a rosary. It is in NO WAY to pray to Mary; rather I would like to use the "hail Mary" (or possibly a Biblical verse) as a way of meditation - to become focused to correctly pray to God. This would all be done in the comforts of my home, not on street corners like the pharisees and sadducees.
However, I do appreciate that my blog has been viewed by others, and that people feel compelled to comment on what they read. Thank you to all who fit this description, and those that just stop by to read.
Friday, September 18, 2009
thoughts on Jehovah
As mentioned in a previous post, I have been reading literature on Jehovah as the name of God. I suppose that initially I was skeptical, but the more I read the more I wanted to share the knowledge with everyone.
Isaiah 12:4 says, "In that day you will say:
Give thanks to the [Lord], call on his name;
make known among the nations what he has done,
and proclaim that his name is exalted.
So if we are to call on his name, what name would that be?
As a child and teenager, I was taught God's name is God. This is due to the fact that there are no other Gods, and there is no other way to describe him. I have always thought the explaination was a bit lame, but in the Witness literature there is a blurb about this point of view.
"Some suggest another reason: The Jews may have been influence by Greek philosphy. For example, Philo, a Jewish philosopher of Alexandria who was approximately contemporary with Jesus, was greated influenced by the Greek philosopher Plato, who he thought was divinely inspired. The Lexikon des Judentums (Lexicon of Judaism), under 'Philo,' state that Philo 'united the language and ideas of Greek philosophy (Plato) with the revealed faith of the Jews' and that to begin he 'had a visible effect upon the Christian church fathers.' Philo taught that God was indefinable and, hence, unnameable."
I am glad to know that what learned was based on ancient writings. Unfortunately the idea that God doesn't have a name bothers me. I realize that the "pagan" gods had names (i.e. Zeus, Aries, Thor, etc.), but to not rightly acknowledge the Jehovah name because he is greater is just ridiculous.
In my research, I was surprised to find the Jesus was actually Yeshua in the Hebrew scriptures. Yeshua is short for Yehoshua or Joshua, and means Yahweh (Jehovah) is salvation. So Jesus's name even spoke of Jehovah, interesting, eh?
Another interesting fact is the expression, "Hallelujah!" The Hebrew word is made up of two words: "Hallel," which means praise; and "Jah," which means Jahovah. So during church services we sing and shout praises to Jahovah, and don't even realize what we are doing. At least I never knew what the word meant.
Giving Jehovah God a title like Lord, Almighty, God, etc. doesn't seem to convey the true meaning of his name. It also becomes confusing for me when there are two Lords (Jehovah and Jesus). Psalm 110 says, "The Lord says to my Lord: 'Sit at my right hand until I make your enemies a footstool for your feet.' So is that Jehovah talking to Jesus? Or something entirely different? Confusion of the these titles often is what bores me about the Bible. When one can't follow a story, one cannot stay interested.
The research I've done recently has really opened my eyes to the desception of the church. Whether one believes in Jesus or not, there is impericle evidence that God's name was Jehovah. It doesn't matter why the name was omitted from the new translations and versions of the Bible, what matters is that it was omitted. And most Christians look at the Witnesses as this bizarre cult of people who worship this Jehovah God person. I must admit, I used to. That is, until I met Bonnie.
At this point, I don't see myself becoming a Witness. However, I do believe their views on Jehovah should be respected and aknowledged as truth from other Christians.
Isaiah 12:4 says, "In that day you will say:
Give thanks to the [Lord], call on his name;
make known among the nations what he has done,
and proclaim that his name is exalted.
So if we are to call on his name, what name would that be?
As a child and teenager, I was taught God's name is God. This is due to the fact that there are no other Gods, and there is no other way to describe him. I have always thought the explaination was a bit lame, but in the Witness literature there is a blurb about this point of view.
"Some suggest another reason: The Jews may have been influence by Greek philosphy. For example, Philo, a Jewish philosopher of Alexandria who was approximately contemporary with Jesus, was greated influenced by the Greek philosopher Plato, who he thought was divinely inspired. The Lexikon des Judentums (Lexicon of Judaism), under 'Philo,' state that Philo 'united the language and ideas of Greek philosophy (Plato) with the revealed faith of the Jews' and that to begin he 'had a visible effect upon the Christian church fathers.' Philo taught that God was indefinable and, hence, unnameable."
I am glad to know that what learned was based on ancient writings. Unfortunately the idea that God doesn't have a name bothers me. I realize that the "pagan" gods had names (i.e. Zeus, Aries, Thor, etc.), but to not rightly acknowledge the Jehovah name because he is greater is just ridiculous.
In my research, I was surprised to find the Jesus was actually Yeshua in the Hebrew scriptures. Yeshua is short for Yehoshua or Joshua, and means Yahweh (Jehovah) is salvation. So Jesus's name even spoke of Jehovah, interesting, eh?
Another interesting fact is the expression, "Hallelujah!" The Hebrew word is made up of two words: "Hallel," which means praise; and "Jah," which means Jahovah. So during church services we sing and shout praises to Jahovah, and don't even realize what we are doing. At least I never knew what the word meant.
Giving Jehovah God a title like Lord, Almighty, God, etc. doesn't seem to convey the true meaning of his name. It also becomes confusing for me when there are two Lords (Jehovah and Jesus). Psalm 110 says, "The Lord says to my Lord: 'Sit at my right hand until I make your enemies a footstool for your feet.' So is that Jehovah talking to Jesus? Or something entirely different? Confusion of the these titles often is what bores me about the Bible. When one can't follow a story, one cannot stay interested.
The research I've done recently has really opened my eyes to the desception of the church. Whether one believes in Jesus or not, there is impericle evidence that God's name was Jehovah. It doesn't matter why the name was omitted from the new translations and versions of the Bible, what matters is that it was omitted. And most Christians look at the Witnesses as this bizarre cult of people who worship this Jehovah God person. I must admit, I used to. That is, until I met Bonnie.
At this point, I don't see myself becoming a Witness. However, I do believe their views on Jehovah should be respected and aknowledged as truth from other Christians.
pilgrimage - day #34
breaking away from American culture...
In the last week I read an amazing book, "Ishmael." Without giving away the ending, I will say that the concepts and ideas presented in the book gave me so much to think about. We need to belong to the world, instead of trying to own the world. We are not God Almighty, nor are we truly able to control life...even if at times it feels possible.
We have become a society of impatient, attention deficit, entertainment seekers. We can't wait to have our friend or colleague return home or to the office, so we call their cell phone. When we get the voicemail we become irritated. Where is our instant result? The Internet is a fabulous tool - instantaneous answers to most any question you could ask. But when the Google search returns a less than satisfactory result, what is our response? We are annoyed! Why isn't there a result with the exact answer to my exact question, dammit?
When Bonnie was over on Wednesday I spoke to her about my dislike of the new mega churches with worship bands and Powepoint presentations. Yes, they are able to appeal to many young people. They can say that they have a huge following. However, is the congregation following God or are they simply there for Sunday morning entertainment? 2 Timothy 4:3 says, "For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desire, they will gather around them a great number of teacher to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths."
There are those looking for "spiritual junk food," hoping to hear the exact answer of their desires. Am I that shallow? Am I looking for a faith that fits my lifestyle, or am I willing to change my lifestyle to fit the true faith?
Most Bible-based Christian faiths are against abortion, homosexuality, and tattooing. I have 4 tattoos (to become 5 tomorrow), and I don't have problems with abortion nor homosexuality. I don't feel it is my place to judge what is right and what is wrong. But am I putting myself in a situation that is less than "true"?
Today's Scripture
Pslams 63: 1-4 (The Message)
God - you're my God!
I can't get enough of you!
I've worked up such a hunger and thirst for God,
traveling across dry and weary deserts.
So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open,
drinking in your strength and glory.
In your generous love I am really living at last!
My lips brim praises like fountains.
I bless you every time I take a breath;
My arms wave like banners of praise to you.
In the last week I read an amazing book, "Ishmael." Without giving away the ending, I will say that the concepts and ideas presented in the book gave me so much to think about. We need to belong to the world, instead of trying to own the world. We are not God Almighty, nor are we truly able to control life...even if at times it feels possible.
We have become a society of impatient, attention deficit, entertainment seekers. We can't wait to have our friend or colleague return home or to the office, so we call their cell phone. When we get the voicemail we become irritated. Where is our instant result? The Internet is a fabulous tool - instantaneous answers to most any question you could ask. But when the Google search returns a less than satisfactory result, what is our response? We are annoyed! Why isn't there a result with the exact answer to my exact question, dammit?
When Bonnie was over on Wednesday I spoke to her about my dislike of the new mega churches with worship bands and Powepoint presentations. Yes, they are able to appeal to many young people. They can say that they have a huge following. However, is the congregation following God or are they simply there for Sunday morning entertainment? 2 Timothy 4:3 says, "For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desire, they will gather around them a great number of teacher to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths."
There are those looking for "spiritual junk food," hoping to hear the exact answer of their desires. Am I that shallow? Am I looking for a faith that fits my lifestyle, or am I willing to change my lifestyle to fit the true faith?
Most Bible-based Christian faiths are against abortion, homosexuality, and tattooing. I have 4 tattoos (to become 5 tomorrow), and I don't have problems with abortion nor homosexuality. I don't feel it is my place to judge what is right and what is wrong. But am I putting myself in a situation that is less than "true"?
Today's Scripture
Pslams 63: 1-4 (The Message)
God - you're my God!
I can't get enough of you!
I've worked up such a hunger and thirst for God,
traveling across dry and weary deserts.
So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open,
drinking in your strength and glory.
In your generous love I am really living at last!
My lips brim praises like fountains.
I bless you every time I take a breath;
My arms wave like banners of praise to you.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Quotes from Ishmael
I wanted to share some of my favorite quotes from Daniel Quinn's book, "Ishmael." I will be sharing more thoughts from this book at a later date.
"Five severed fingers do not make a hand." page 12
"Man is not alone on this planet. He is part of a community, upon which he depends absolutely." page 99
"Trial and error isn't a bad way to learn how to build an aircraft, but it can be a disastrous way to learn how to build a civilization." page 110
"I had to face it: I didn't just want a teacher - I wanted a teacher for life." page 122
"The world was not made for any one species." page 145
"The danger is not that he would gain our knowledge but rather that he might imagine that he gained it." page 162
"Adam wasn't the progenitor of our race, he was the progenitor of our culture." page 184
"You should trust yourselves with your lives lives. That's the human way to live." page 225
"The Takers are those who know good and evil, and the Leavers are..." The Leavers are those who live in the hands of the gods." page 229
"The premise of the Taker story is the world belongs to man...The premise of the Leaver story is man belongs to the world." page 239
"You can't change these things with laws. You must change people's minds." page 249
"Five severed fingers do not make a hand." page 12
"Man is not alone on this planet. He is part of a community, upon which he depends absolutely." page 99
"Trial and error isn't a bad way to learn how to build an aircraft, but it can be a disastrous way to learn how to build a civilization." page 110
"I had to face it: I didn't just want a teacher - I wanted a teacher for life." page 122
"The world was not made for any one species." page 145
"The danger is not that he would gain our knowledge but rather that he might imagine that he gained it." page 162
"Adam wasn't the progenitor of our race, he was the progenitor of our culture." page 184
"You should trust yourselves with your lives lives. That's the human way to live." page 225
"The Takers are those who know good and evil, and the Leavers are..." The Leavers are those who live in the hands of the gods." page 229
"The premise of the Taker story is the world belongs to man...The premise of the Leaver story is man belongs to the world." page 239
"You can't change these things with laws. You must change people's minds." page 249
pilgrimage - day #33
having an agenda...
Each morning I awake with an agenda. Some days it is scheduled activities (i.e. preschool, Bible study, dance class, music class, teaching, etc.), and others it is more of a plan on action (i.e. need to vacuum that messy floor, need to run an errand, etc.).
I sometimes wonder what I'd do without my agenda. What if I were on a pilgrimage to another country with nothing more than a bag on my back and the dirt road under my feet. Where would my thoughts take me then?
The Witnesses speak of the "new system." A new Earth where there is abundance of food, no worries, no wanting for anything. Without my daily agenda, where would I be? What would I think about? Would I feel needed? Would I get the same satisfaction in accomplishments?
Today is no exception. Zoe's music lessons have been changed to Thursday mornings at 10. Zoe also has her first day of Tap and Ballet classes this evening. She is particularly excited about the tap classes, as all little girls are. The tap shoes are so fun - even as an adult. I loved the tap class I took 2 years ago. It seems like just yesterday that I took the class, but it became a pain to get myself out the door for a 6:30 class. Between dinner, getting myself ready, and feeding a baby (Eva was an infant at the time) I was always stressed at the class. But it was still fun!
The good thing about this pilgrimage is that I don't have an agenda. I am following a 40-day study, but I also am participating in two other Bible studies. One begins this Sunday at church; we are working on the parables of Jesus. The other is my studying with Bonnie. I get such fulfilment from the studies with Bonnie, that I can't imagine stopping the times together.
One agenda item I am seriously considering eliminating is my commitment to the Division of Congregational Life. I took on the position when I thought I would have a lot of summer meetings and the convention would take place in September. However, after our August meeting we postponed the convention until next spring. Every other person in the committee is retired or old enough that meeting on a morning at 10am is nothing but a fun outing. For me, it's an agenda item that I can't continue to commit. So today I have to formulate a letter or something to send out to the group. I just don't have the time to continue on the committee, and sometimes I think it's important to admit to creating an over-taxed agenda.
Today's Scripture
Pslams 139: 1-6
O Lord, you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O Lord.
You hem me in - behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Each morning I awake with an agenda. Some days it is scheduled activities (i.e. preschool, Bible study, dance class, music class, teaching, etc.), and others it is more of a plan on action (i.e. need to vacuum that messy floor, need to run an errand, etc.).
I sometimes wonder what I'd do without my agenda. What if I were on a pilgrimage to another country with nothing more than a bag on my back and the dirt road under my feet. Where would my thoughts take me then?
The Witnesses speak of the "new system." A new Earth where there is abundance of food, no worries, no wanting for anything. Without my daily agenda, where would I be? What would I think about? Would I feel needed? Would I get the same satisfaction in accomplishments?
Today is no exception. Zoe's music lessons have been changed to Thursday mornings at 10. Zoe also has her first day of Tap and Ballet classes this evening. She is particularly excited about the tap classes, as all little girls are. The tap shoes are so fun - even as an adult. I loved the tap class I took 2 years ago. It seems like just yesterday that I took the class, but it became a pain to get myself out the door for a 6:30 class. Between dinner, getting myself ready, and feeding a baby (Eva was an infant at the time) I was always stressed at the class. But it was still fun!
The good thing about this pilgrimage is that I don't have an agenda. I am following a 40-day study, but I also am participating in two other Bible studies. One begins this Sunday at church; we are working on the parables of Jesus. The other is my studying with Bonnie. I get such fulfilment from the studies with Bonnie, that I can't imagine stopping the times together.
One agenda item I am seriously considering eliminating is my commitment to the Division of Congregational Life. I took on the position when I thought I would have a lot of summer meetings and the convention would take place in September. However, after our August meeting we postponed the convention until next spring. Every other person in the committee is retired or old enough that meeting on a morning at 10am is nothing but a fun outing. For me, it's an agenda item that I can't continue to commit. So today I have to formulate a letter or something to send out to the group. I just don't have the time to continue on the committee, and sometimes I think it's important to admit to creating an over-taxed agenda.
Today's Scripture
Pslams 139: 1-6
O Lord, you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O Lord.
You hem me in - behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
my relationship with Bonnie #8
It's always a pleasure to see Bonnie, today was no exception.
She always has such great verses to share with me, which are welcome deviations from the book, "What Does the Bible Really Teach?"
We spoke a bit about death today. I've never been one to be confident about a literal heaven. I've internally debated about reincarnation, but I actually am disturbed by the idea that we've been here before and yet we don't remember our other lives. I've even had a past life regression, and I still don't like the idea of getting born again into a new body. I'm sure there are some that would like to live another life - another family, different experiences. But not me. I want to remember everything I've experienced in this life. I don't want to forget.
The Jehovah Witnesses believe that death is a deep sleep. Then on resurrection day Jehovah will raise us as we were in our early 20s. He knows our DNA, just like he knows the names of all the stars in the sky. The judgment will come later. Bonnie pointed out some verses that illustrate this:
John 5:28-29
Do not be amazed at this, for a time is coming when all who are in their graves will hear his voice and come out - those who have done good will rise to live, and those who have done evil will rise to be condemned.
John 11:11- 15; 21 - 24
The Death of Lazarus
After he had said this, he went on to tell them, "Our friend, Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up."
His disciples replied, "Lord, if he sleeps, he will get better." Jesus had been speaking of his death, but his disciples thought he meant natural sleep.
So then he told them plainly, "Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not that, so that you may believe. But let us go to him."
"Lord," Martha said to Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But i know that even now God will give you whatever you ask."
Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again."
Martha answered, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day."
It continues and Jesus resurrects Lazarus from the dead. But the point is, we aren't going to heaven or hell or purgatory. We are in a deep sleep, and one day we will be able to live in a "new system" in a perfect world. This is the thoughts of the Witnesses.
I don't know what I believe at this point. I grew up with this image of God sitting on a cloud. Jesus was sitting on his right hand, and the sun was shining all around. As I grew, I knew God didn't sit on a cloud. I've been in a plane, it's not possible. But is there another location that we will travel - our spirits perhaps? Or is that all man made myth to give us comfort.
Heaven is in the Bible, but there is no proof that a human will go there. Jesus goes to heaven to be with his father, but he is a heavenly being - a god-man.
In Ecclesiastes 9:5 - 6 we are told of a common destiny for all:
For the living know that they will die,
but the dead know nothing;
they have no further reward,
and even the memory of them is forgotten.
Their love, their hate
and their jealousy have long since vanished;
never again will they have a part
in anything that happens under the sun.
I suppose the truth will not be shown until I die, but I do wish I had blind faith. That I didn't question what really happens. Believing in the unseen is so hard for me. It wasn't hard as a child, so I'm hoping to return to that faith, confidence, and belief.
She always has such great verses to share with me, which are welcome deviations from the book, "What Does the Bible Really Teach?"
We spoke a bit about death today. I've never been one to be confident about a literal heaven. I've internally debated about reincarnation, but I actually am disturbed by the idea that we've been here before and yet we don't remember our other lives. I've even had a past life regression, and I still don't like the idea of getting born again into a new body. I'm sure there are some that would like to live another life - another family, different experiences. But not me. I want to remember everything I've experienced in this life. I don't want to forget.
The Jehovah Witnesses believe that death is a deep sleep. Then on resurrection day Jehovah will raise us as we were in our early 20s. He knows our DNA, just like he knows the names of all the stars in the sky. The judgment will come later. Bonnie pointed out some verses that illustrate this:
John 5:28-29
Do not be amazed at this, for a time is coming when all who are in their graves will hear his voice and come out - those who have done good will rise to live, and those who have done evil will rise to be condemned.
John 11:11- 15; 21 - 24
The Death of Lazarus
After he had said this, he went on to tell them, "Our friend, Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up."
His disciples replied, "Lord, if he sleeps, he will get better." Jesus had been speaking of his death, but his disciples thought he meant natural sleep.
So then he told them plainly, "Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not that, so that you may believe. But let us go to him."
"Lord," Martha said to Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But i know that even now God will give you whatever you ask."
Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again."
Martha answered, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day."
It continues and Jesus resurrects Lazarus from the dead. But the point is, we aren't going to heaven or hell or purgatory. We are in a deep sleep, and one day we will be able to live in a "new system" in a perfect world. This is the thoughts of the Witnesses.
I don't know what I believe at this point. I grew up with this image of God sitting on a cloud. Jesus was sitting on his right hand, and the sun was shining all around. As I grew, I knew God didn't sit on a cloud. I've been in a plane, it's not possible. But is there another location that we will travel - our spirits perhaps? Or is that all man made myth to give us comfort.
Heaven is in the Bible, but there is no proof that a human will go there. Jesus goes to heaven to be with his father, but he is a heavenly being - a god-man.
In Ecclesiastes 9:5 - 6 we are told of a common destiny for all:
For the living know that they will die,
but the dead know nothing;
they have no further reward,
and even the memory of them is forgotten.
Their love, their hate
and their jealousy have long since vanished;
never again will they have a part
in anything that happens under the sun.
I suppose the truth will not be shown until I die, but I do wish I had blind faith. That I didn't question what really happens. Believing in the unseen is so hard for me. It wasn't hard as a child, so I'm hoping to return to that faith, confidence, and belief.
pilgrimage - day #32
"For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them." (Matthew 18:20)
It's interesting how many people will say they are spiritual, but not religious. I imagine a lot of Christian adults will say they are Christian but don't go to church. Contemporary religion seems to have become something to avoid - "those guys over there". I truly believe people would rather take a "pass" on the "organized" part of the religion definition. The following is from Wikipedia:
A religion is an organized approach to human spirituality which usually encompasses a set of narratives, symbols, beliefs and practices, often with a supernatural or transcendent quality, that give meaning to the practitioner's experiences of life through reference to a higher power, God or gods, or ultimate truth. It may be expressed through prayer, ritual, meditation, music and art, among other things. It may focus on specific supernatural, metaphysical, and moral claims about reality (the cosmos and human nature) which may yield a set of religious laws, ethics, and a particular lifestyle. Religion also encompasses ancestral or cultural traditions, writings, history, and mythology, as well as personal faith and religious experience.
I don't think I could disregard my religious background or beliefs, as I continue on this spiritual journey. I am more interested in experiencing a variety of religions, and ultimately finding my own results. I don't care if the results equate into a specific religion, or if the results only place me on another path. My desire is the process of the journey, not perfecting the end result. I don't have an end date in mind, nor do I care if it takes years to complete. So I must continue on the path with hope that my experiences will prove spiritually and religiously beneficial.
I love the church my family attends. I participate in the Board of Christian Education, serve as the Sunday School Superintendent, teach Sunday School and represent the church as an association member in the Division of Congregational Life. None of these activities are done by obligation, rather I want to serve my congregational home - my second family.
Jim recently sent his paperwork into the state to incorporate his ministry. He did this in order to be able to provide legal services for our friends' wedding next spring. My mother was rather shocked and appalled at how easy it was to say you had a church. But the definition from Jesus was very simple - and who are we to question Jesus?
Today's Scriptures
Pslams 139: 7-12
Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you're there!
If I go underground, you're there!
If I flew on morning's wings
to the far wester horizon,
You'd find me in a minute -
you're already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in
the dark!
At night I'm immersed in the light!"
It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you;
night and day, darkness and light, they're
all the same to you.
It's interesting how many people will say they are spiritual, but not religious. I imagine a lot of Christian adults will say they are Christian but don't go to church. Contemporary religion seems to have become something to avoid - "those guys over there". I truly believe people would rather take a "pass" on the "organized" part of the religion definition. The following is from Wikipedia:
A religion is an organized approach to human spirituality which usually encompasses a set of narratives, symbols, beliefs and practices, often with a supernatural or transcendent quality, that give meaning to the practitioner's experiences of life through reference to a higher power, God or gods, or ultimate truth. It may be expressed through prayer, ritual, meditation, music and art, among other things. It may focus on specific supernatural, metaphysical, and moral claims about reality (the cosmos and human nature) which may yield a set of religious laws, ethics, and a particular lifestyle. Religion also encompasses ancestral or cultural traditions, writings, history, and mythology, as well as personal faith and religious experience.
I don't think I could disregard my religious background or beliefs, as I continue on this spiritual journey. I am more interested in experiencing a variety of religions, and ultimately finding my own results. I don't care if the results equate into a specific religion, or if the results only place me on another path. My desire is the process of the journey, not perfecting the end result. I don't have an end date in mind, nor do I care if it takes years to complete. So I must continue on the path with hope that my experiences will prove spiritually and religiously beneficial.
I love the church my family attends. I participate in the Board of Christian Education, serve as the Sunday School Superintendent, teach Sunday School and represent the church as an association member in the Division of Congregational Life. None of these activities are done by obligation, rather I want to serve my congregational home - my second family.
Jim recently sent his paperwork into the state to incorporate his ministry. He did this in order to be able to provide legal services for our friends' wedding next spring. My mother was rather shocked and appalled at how easy it was to say you had a church. But the definition from Jesus was very simple - and who are we to question Jesus?
Today's Scriptures
Pslams 139: 7-12
Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you're there!
If I go underground, you're there!
If I flew on morning's wings
to the far wester horizon,
You'd find me in a minute -
you're already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in
the dark!
At night I'm immersed in the light!"
It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you;
night and day, darkness and light, they're
all the same to you.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
pilgrimage - day #31
the good Mary...
One of the elements missing from many religious services is the feminine. Unfortunately the "mother" part of Mother Earth has been long forgot, as men interpret Biblical stories to fit their "manly" needs. In my opinion, these needs are about men in charge; with women at the bottom on the food chain.
Even the Catholic church, whom make exaltations to mother Mary, don't allow women to preach or hold important roles in the church. Somewhere along the way, the beauty and warmth of the mother role was lost in the male dominated religious hierarchy. Sure, there is a prayer to her; but how many say the prayer and don't even take the time to experience what is being said.
Mary: Mother of Jesus, Mother of God, and Blessed Virgin Mary. In 401 C.E. the Council of Ephesus determined that Mary lived a sinless life and was a "god bearer." Whether myth or tradition, Mary became someone who prayers are sent, paintings drawn, songs are sung, and stories are written. Many believe Mary lived a virginal life - never consummating her marriage to Joseph. The "brothers" and "sisters" referred to in the Bible are simply ways to address those that followed Jesus. Whether you believe that Mary was an "immaculate conception" (i.e. sinless from birth), or that she was the mother of Jesus; this woman should at least sprout the desire to have a feminine element in the church.
In my readings on Wikipedia, I was a bit surprised to read the following:
"By contrast, certain documents of the Second Vatican Council, such as chapter VIII of the Dogmatic Constitution Lumen Gentium [3] describe Mary as higher than all other created beings, even angels: "she far surpasses all creatures, both in heaven and on earth"; but still in the final analysis, a created being, solely human - not divine - in her nature. On this showing, Catholic traditionalists would argue that there is no conflation [4] of the human and divine levels in their veneration of Mary."
The mother of God Almighty, no. The mother of Jesus, yes. But higher than all creatures? I don't think I could ever wrap my mind around that.
I believe Mary was the womb for the God's holy spirit. Jesus was born as a god-man; the man who would preach about his father's kingdom to come. I don't care whether Mary was a virgin, nor whether she ever consumated her relationship with Joseph. What matters to me is what Jesus taught his disciples.
I do have issues with the "biblical" views of a woman's role in society and in the family. I was raised with strong views that a woman can be whatever she wants to be. Of course if you listen to "bible-based" churches, you are told a wife is a helpmate to the husband. I'm sure this works in many marriages. To many, our family looks like a bible-based household. Husband/Father goes to work in the morning, and wife/mother keeps house and takes care of the children. Of course what isn't seen is that the wife/mother also has a part-time job (16 piano and/or voice students) which pays for a variety of things; including vacations and money for gas that gets husband/father to work. The wife/mother is also the Superintendent of Sunday School, a teacher at church, and an active member in the book club, women's circle and Bible study groups.
So why do I want a rosary to recite the "Hail Mary"? Because I think as a meditation tool it would be fantastic. I would hope it would allow my heart and mind to be open to listen to God Almighty. Is that what all Catholics do? Or do they simply say the prayer and never really understand what they are stating? The early monks used it for meditation, but is this what what the prayer is intended for today? Or is it used to punish those that sinned - "Say 5 Our Father's and 3 Hail Mary's for your sins today, son."
I would hope that each word that passes my lips leaves with true grace and heartfelt understanding.
"Hail Mary, full of grave, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen."
Today's Scriptures
Psalms 89:15-17 (Hebrew)
Happy are the people who know the festal shout,
who walk, O Lord, in the light of your countenance;
they exult in your name all day long,
and extol your righteousness.
For you are the glory of their strength;
by your favor our horn is exalted.
One of the elements missing from many religious services is the feminine. Unfortunately the "mother" part of Mother Earth has been long forgot, as men interpret Biblical stories to fit their "manly" needs. In my opinion, these needs are about men in charge; with women at the bottom on the food chain.
Even the Catholic church, whom make exaltations to mother Mary, don't allow women to preach or hold important roles in the church. Somewhere along the way, the beauty and warmth of the mother role was lost in the male dominated religious hierarchy. Sure, there is a prayer to her; but how many say the prayer and don't even take the time to experience what is being said.
Mary: Mother of Jesus, Mother of God, and Blessed Virgin Mary. In 401 C.E. the Council of Ephesus determined that Mary lived a sinless life and was a "god bearer." Whether myth or tradition, Mary became someone who prayers are sent, paintings drawn, songs are sung, and stories are written. Many believe Mary lived a virginal life - never consummating her marriage to Joseph. The "brothers" and "sisters" referred to in the Bible are simply ways to address those that followed Jesus. Whether you believe that Mary was an "immaculate conception" (i.e. sinless from birth), or that she was the mother of Jesus; this woman should at least sprout the desire to have a feminine element in the church.
In my readings on Wikipedia, I was a bit surprised to read the following:
"By contrast, certain documents of the Second Vatican Council, such as chapter VIII of the Dogmatic Constitution Lumen Gentium [3] describe Mary as higher than all other created beings, even angels: "she far surpasses all creatures, both in heaven and on earth"; but still in the final analysis, a created being, solely human - not divine - in her nature. On this showing, Catholic traditionalists would argue that there is no conflation [4] of the human and divine levels in their veneration of Mary."
The mother of God Almighty, no. The mother of Jesus, yes. But higher than all creatures? I don't think I could ever wrap my mind around that.
I believe Mary was the womb for the God's holy spirit. Jesus was born as a god-man; the man who would preach about his father's kingdom to come. I don't care whether Mary was a virgin, nor whether she ever consumated her relationship with Joseph. What matters to me is what Jesus taught his disciples.
I do have issues with the "biblical" views of a woman's role in society and in the family. I was raised with strong views that a woman can be whatever she wants to be. Of course if you listen to "bible-based" churches, you are told a wife is a helpmate to the husband. I'm sure this works in many marriages. To many, our family looks like a bible-based household. Husband/Father goes to work in the morning, and wife/mother keeps house and takes care of the children. Of course what isn't seen is that the wife/mother also has a part-time job (16 piano and/or voice students) which pays for a variety of things; including vacations and money for gas that gets husband/father to work. The wife/mother is also the Superintendent of Sunday School, a teacher at church, and an active member in the book club, women's circle and Bible study groups.
So why do I want a rosary to recite the "Hail Mary"? Because I think as a meditation tool it would be fantastic. I would hope it would allow my heart and mind to be open to listen to God Almighty. Is that what all Catholics do? Or do they simply say the prayer and never really understand what they are stating? The early monks used it for meditation, but is this what what the prayer is intended for today? Or is it used to punish those that sinned - "Say 5 Our Father's and 3 Hail Mary's for your sins today, son."
I would hope that each word that passes my lips leaves with true grace and heartfelt understanding.
"Hail Mary, full of grave, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen."
Today's Scriptures
Psalms 89:15-17 (Hebrew)
Happy are the people who know the festal shout,
who walk, O Lord, in the light of your countenance;
they exult in your name all day long,
and extol your righteousness.
For you are the glory of their strength;
by your favor our horn is exalted.
Monday, September 14, 2009
pilgrimage - day #30
the grass is always greener...
Upon waking up today, I was immediately inundated by "stuff". When Jim and I weren't looking, Eva drank some Children's Ibuprofen and I had to force her to vomit. After that, we noticed most of what was in the bottle was under a towel she had used to cover her spill. Then Zoe had some asthma issues, so she had to take extra medicine this morning. Not to mention her medicine for the constipation, which she absolutely hates! sigh...
So I take Zoe to school, and after two very successful (i.e. no crying) days I left her sobbing wanting me to stay. It completely breaks my heart. I was there as a kid. I didn't want to be without my mom. However, I had mastered throwing up to stay home. I was a genius at it. I don't think Zoe is that kid. But I do find myself having great emotional stress just thinking about it. It's like I'm reliving my past through her. Not cool.
But is the grass always greener? I don't think so. I'm not sure if there is a perfect pasture waiting for me. It is not a case of arrogance, but more of a knowledge that we all have the patches of grass with dog pee; and some more than others.
In the reading for today, Mother Eve is referenced:
"God gave her everything. About only one thing did God say, 'Do not touch.' And Eve's eyes moved from all that she had to what she was missing. It is the human condition. Inner turmoil begins at the moment that I become blind to what I have and see only what I lack. Am I conditioned to believe that I need more to be content? It isn't bad to have more. It is bad when I cannot see what I do have."
I spent most of my adult life wondering what was next. I had gone to school and moved up the corporate ladder as each year passed. At the completion of each project, I found myself finding the new task at hand. When I purchased the music studio I really believed that was it - the cultivation of my education, skills, training, and desires. But I soon learned that my journey was to take a different path: Motherhood. After I had Zoe I was back on the "what's next" questioning. I registered to go back to get a Masters in Library Science from Wayne State. I had a scholarship and I was even choosing my career path. But something stopped me from going that route. It didn't feel right.
What was next was having Eva. After her birth, my anxieties became even worse. Was I going to teach piano and voice lessons from my house forever? Was there something else? Then I went on anxiety medicine and began my spiritual journey. What was I looking for? Peace and harmony - no longer the next project. My readings and research have kept my mind busy; I feel like I'm still learning and increasing my knowledge, but this time about myself and God. But I also make certain to keep my focus balanced. Because teaching music and being a mother IS a wonderful life path. Each time I try to deviate from the inevitable (i.e. teaching music), I always come back to it. If that isn't a sign, I don't really know what is.
Todays Scriptures
Psalm 121 (The Message)
a pilgrim song
I look up to the mountains;
does my strength come from mountains?
No, my strength comes from God,
who made heaven, and earth, and mountains.
He won't let you stumble,
Your Guardian God won't fall asleep.
Not on your life! Israel's
Guardian will never doze or sleep.
God's your Guardian,
right at your side to protect you -
Shielding your from sunstroke,
sheltering you from moonstroke.
God guards you from every evil,
he guards your very life.
He guards you when you leave and when you return,
he guards you now, he guards you always.
Upon waking up today, I was immediately inundated by "stuff". When Jim and I weren't looking, Eva drank some Children's Ibuprofen and I had to force her to vomit. After that, we noticed most of what was in the bottle was under a towel she had used to cover her spill. Then Zoe had some asthma issues, so she had to take extra medicine this morning. Not to mention her medicine for the constipation, which she absolutely hates! sigh...
So I take Zoe to school, and after two very successful (i.e. no crying) days I left her sobbing wanting me to stay. It completely breaks my heart. I was there as a kid. I didn't want to be without my mom. However, I had mastered throwing up to stay home. I was a genius at it. I don't think Zoe is that kid. But I do find myself having great emotional stress just thinking about it. It's like I'm reliving my past through her. Not cool.
But is the grass always greener? I don't think so. I'm not sure if there is a perfect pasture waiting for me. It is not a case of arrogance, but more of a knowledge that we all have the patches of grass with dog pee; and some more than others.
In the reading for today, Mother Eve is referenced:
"God gave her everything. About only one thing did God say, 'Do not touch.' And Eve's eyes moved from all that she had to what she was missing. It is the human condition. Inner turmoil begins at the moment that I become blind to what I have and see only what I lack. Am I conditioned to believe that I need more to be content? It isn't bad to have more. It is bad when I cannot see what I do have."
I spent most of my adult life wondering what was next. I had gone to school and moved up the corporate ladder as each year passed. At the completion of each project, I found myself finding the new task at hand. When I purchased the music studio I really believed that was it - the cultivation of my education, skills, training, and desires. But I soon learned that my journey was to take a different path: Motherhood. After I had Zoe I was back on the "what's next" questioning. I registered to go back to get a Masters in Library Science from Wayne State. I had a scholarship and I was even choosing my career path. But something stopped me from going that route. It didn't feel right.
What was next was having Eva. After her birth, my anxieties became even worse. Was I going to teach piano and voice lessons from my house forever? Was there something else? Then I went on anxiety medicine and began my spiritual journey. What was I looking for? Peace and harmony - no longer the next project. My readings and research have kept my mind busy; I feel like I'm still learning and increasing my knowledge, but this time about myself and God. But I also make certain to keep my focus balanced. Because teaching music and being a mother IS a wonderful life path. Each time I try to deviate from the inevitable (i.e. teaching music), I always come back to it. If that isn't a sign, I don't really know what is.
Todays Scriptures
Psalm 121 (The Message)
a pilgrim song
I look up to the mountains;
does my strength come from mountains?
No, my strength comes from God,
who made heaven, and earth, and mountains.
He won't let you stumble,
Your Guardian God won't fall asleep.
Not on your life! Israel's
Guardian will never doze or sleep.
God's your Guardian,
right at your side to protect you -
Shielding your from sunstroke,
sheltering you from moonstroke.
God guards you from every evil,
he guards your very life.
He guards you when you leave and when you return,
he guards you now, he guards you always.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
pilgrimage - day #29
my thoughts on Mary Magdalene...
Growing up I always thought there were two Mary's in the Bible: the good Mary and the bad Mary. The good Mary was the Mother of Jesus, or as the Lutheran's said, "the Mother of God." The bad Mary was Mary Magdalene, the prostitute.
Upon reading Biblical passages on Mary Magdalene or Mary of Magdala, there is nothing that states she was a prostitute. The Bible not only makes mention of her name, but of her place of origin (Magdala). Obviously it was important to distinguish this Mary. In fact, she was a very devoted follower of Jesus. Mary was one of the women who viewed the empty tomb, and said, "Raboni," upon recognizing the resurrected Jesus. Many also regard her as the Apostle of the Apostles, due to the fact she was at there to see the empty tomb and the first to announce the resurrection.
So why then was I taught Mary Magdalene was a prostitute?
According to my research in Wikipedia, it states:
"Pope Gregory the Great made a speech in 591 A.D. where he seemed to combine the actions of three women mentioned in the New Testament and also identified an unnamed woman as Mary Magdalene. He stated that she was a prostitute. This erroneous view was not corrected until 1969 when the Vatican issued a quiet retraction."
Pope Gregory made a connection between the adulteress that was brought before Jesus and Mary Magdalene. I also wasn't surprised to view the various artwork that depicted Mary as a long red-haired woman, while other women had their dark hair tucked beneath headdresses.
So thanks to Pope Gregory, various artists, and a disregard to the "quiet retraction," I was taught a very skewed version of Mary Magdalene.
I'm sure you can imagine my surprise when I read the Bible and found discrepancies to my Christian education. The first "annoyance" was the short tale of Noah's Ark. I was certain the tale would be longer, as Noah was such a huge character in my Sunday School studies. I then was a bit perturbed with the story about Joseph and his "coat of any colors." The translation that we all love (i.e. the colorful coat) is actually a mistranslation of the Hebrew phrase "kethoneth pac" which in fact means "long-sleeved tunic." So it was an embroidered long-sleeved tunic, which would have been much different than the short-sleeved plain tunics of Joseph's brothers. Annoyances, like these, continued through the Old Testament of the Bible.
So, you can see that when I got to the New Testament and read about the differing Jesus stories in the Gospels, I was a bit miffed. And to read about Mary Magdalene, that she wasn't a prostitute, was such a happy surprise. In fact, we contemplated naming Eva - Magdalene. Her middle name, Margarite, is an homage to three people: our friend, Mary Margaret; my Great Grandma Marguerite Elizabeth; and Mary Magdalene.
I also read (and own) The Gospel According to Mary Magdalene. I really love that a woman wrote a special book, a Gospel no less, and find it sad that the Bible omitted Gnostic works like theses.
It is suggested by Elaine Pagels, the author of "The Gospel of Thomas" (which I read) and "The Gnostic Paul", that Mary Magdalene was the unidentified beloved disciple of Christ mentioned in the Gospel of John. Personally I don't subscribe to her view point. In John 19: 26 - 27, the Bible states, "When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, 'Dear woman, here is your son,' and to the disciple, 'Here is your mother.' And again in John 20:2, the Bible says, "So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one that Jesus loved..." Therefore, unless Mary Magdalene is a boy and has two bodies, I think Pagels is making references that aren't there.
So no, I don't think there is a BAD Mary. Just a very popular name that is attributed to more than one woman in the Bible. However, I love learning about "holes" in the Bible, as well as the truth behind the myths.
Today's Scriptures
Psalms 30: 8-12 (The Message)
I called out to you, God;
I laid my case before you:
"Can you sell me for a profit when I'm dead?
auction me off at a cemetery yard sale?
When I'm 'dust to dust' my songs
and stories of you won't sell.
So listen! and be kind!
Help me out of this!"
You did it: you changed wild lament
into whirling dance;
You ripped off my black mourning band
and decked me with wildflowers.
I'm about to burst with song;
I can't keep quiet about you.
God, my God,
I can't thank you enough.
Growing up I always thought there were two Mary's in the Bible: the good Mary and the bad Mary. The good Mary was the Mother of Jesus, or as the Lutheran's said, "the Mother of God." The bad Mary was Mary Magdalene, the prostitute.
Upon reading Biblical passages on Mary Magdalene or Mary of Magdala, there is nothing that states she was a prostitute. The Bible not only makes mention of her name, but of her place of origin (Magdala). Obviously it was important to distinguish this Mary. In fact, she was a very devoted follower of Jesus. Mary was one of the women who viewed the empty tomb, and said, "Raboni," upon recognizing the resurrected Jesus. Many also regard her as the Apostle of the Apostles, due to the fact she was at there to see the empty tomb and the first to announce the resurrection.
So why then was I taught Mary Magdalene was a prostitute?
According to my research in Wikipedia, it states:
"Pope Gregory the Great made a speech in 591 A.D. where he seemed to combine the actions of three women mentioned in the New Testament and also identified an unnamed woman as Mary Magdalene. He stated that she was a prostitute. This erroneous view was not corrected until 1969 when the Vatican issued a quiet retraction."
Pope Gregory made a connection between the adulteress that was brought before Jesus and Mary Magdalene. I also wasn't surprised to view the various artwork that depicted Mary as a long red-haired woman, while other women had their dark hair tucked beneath headdresses.
So thanks to Pope Gregory, various artists, and a disregard to the "quiet retraction," I was taught a very skewed version of Mary Magdalene.
I'm sure you can imagine my surprise when I read the Bible and found discrepancies to my Christian education. The first "annoyance" was the short tale of Noah's Ark. I was certain the tale would be longer, as Noah was such a huge character in my Sunday School studies. I then was a bit perturbed with the story about Joseph and his "coat of any colors." The translation that we all love (i.e. the colorful coat) is actually a mistranslation of the Hebrew phrase "kethoneth pac" which in fact means "long-sleeved tunic." So it was an embroidered long-sleeved tunic, which would have been much different than the short-sleeved plain tunics of Joseph's brothers. Annoyances, like these, continued through the Old Testament of the Bible.
So, you can see that when I got to the New Testament and read about the differing Jesus stories in the Gospels, I was a bit miffed. And to read about Mary Magdalene, that she wasn't a prostitute, was such a happy surprise. In fact, we contemplated naming Eva - Magdalene. Her middle name, Margarite, is an homage to three people: our friend, Mary Margaret; my Great Grandma Marguerite Elizabeth; and Mary Magdalene.
I also read (and own) The Gospel According to Mary Magdalene. I really love that a woman wrote a special book, a Gospel no less, and find it sad that the Bible omitted Gnostic works like theses.
It is suggested by Elaine Pagels, the author of "The Gospel of Thomas" (which I read) and "The Gnostic Paul", that Mary Magdalene was the unidentified beloved disciple of Christ mentioned in the Gospel of John. Personally I don't subscribe to her view point. In John 19: 26 - 27, the Bible states, "When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, 'Dear woman, here is your son,' and to the disciple, 'Here is your mother.' And again in John 20:2, the Bible says, "So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one that Jesus loved..." Therefore, unless Mary Magdalene is a boy and has two bodies, I think Pagels is making references that aren't there.
So no, I don't think there is a BAD Mary. Just a very popular name that is attributed to more than one woman in the Bible. However, I love learning about "holes" in the Bible, as well as the truth behind the myths.
Today's Scriptures
Psalms 30: 8-12 (The Message)
I called out to you, God;
I laid my case before you:
"Can you sell me for a profit when I'm dead?
auction me off at a cemetery yard sale?
When I'm 'dust to dust' my songs
and stories of you won't sell.
So listen! and be kind!
Help me out of this!"
You did it: you changed wild lament
into whirling dance;
You ripped off my black mourning band
and decked me with wildflowers.
I'm about to burst with song;
I can't keep quiet about you.
God, my God,
I can't thank you enough.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
pilgrimage - day #28
empty my soul to make room for grace...
The theological definition of grace:
a. the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God.
b. the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthn them.
c. a virtue or excellence of divine origin: The Christian graces.
d. Also called state of grace - the condition of being in God's favor or one of the elect.
My soul has experienced a very emotional week. Jim has been working late, Zoe started preschool, and Zoe has been experiencing constipation issues. All of these rolled together and sprinkled with a bit of financial strain, religious questions, and daily life has been my last week in a nutshell. I know that my soul can become overwhelmed at times, and I'd like to empty it and ask grace to take the emptiness. Filling my soul with God's grace is a new concept for me, so this might require a bit of practice.
This journey is not about regaining my "youth" like the author of "Pilgrimage." My journey is about self-discovery. Discovering that I need to invite His grace to replace the stress is something I have discovered. My Zoe, the "delivered" can maybe point me in that direction. She has such a strong love of God; and it is through her that I find my humblest moments with Him. Turning my "mourning into dancing."
Today's Scriptures
Psalms 30:8-12 (Hebrew)
To you, O Lord, I cried,
and to the Lord I made supplication:
"What prifit is there in my death,
if I go down to the Pit?
Will the dust praise you?
Will it tell of your faithfulness?
Hear, O Lord, and be gracious to me!
O Lord, be my helper!"
You have turned my mourning into dancing;
you have taken off my sackcloth
and clothed me with joy,
so that my soul may praise you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever.
The theological definition of grace:
a. the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God.
b. the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthn them.
c. a virtue or excellence of divine origin: The Christian graces.
d. Also called state of grace - the condition of being in God's favor or one of the elect.
My soul has experienced a very emotional week. Jim has been working late, Zoe started preschool, and Zoe has been experiencing constipation issues. All of these rolled together and sprinkled with a bit of financial strain, religious questions, and daily life has been my last week in a nutshell. I know that my soul can become overwhelmed at times, and I'd like to empty it and ask grace to take the emptiness. Filling my soul with God's grace is a new concept for me, so this might require a bit of practice.
This journey is not about regaining my "youth" like the author of "Pilgrimage." My journey is about self-discovery. Discovering that I need to invite His grace to replace the stress is something I have discovered. My Zoe, the "delivered" can maybe point me in that direction. She has such a strong love of God; and it is through her that I find my humblest moments with Him. Turning my "mourning into dancing."
Today's Scriptures
Psalms 30:8-12 (Hebrew)
To you, O Lord, I cried,
and to the Lord I made supplication:
"What prifit is there in my death,
if I go down to the Pit?
Will the dust praise you?
Will it tell of your faithfulness?
Hear, O Lord, and be gracious to me!
O Lord, be my helper!"
You have turned my mourning into dancing;
you have taken off my sackcloth
and clothed me with joy,
so that my soul may praise you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever.
Friday, September 11, 2009
pilgrimage - day #27
happiness not dependent upon rigid conceptions...
I think most of us place our happiness upon the way it's "supposed to be." I know I often do. I find myself worrying about things far into the future, and most often things I have completely NO control over.
Zoe has been suffering from constipation since last Thursday. Her morning bowel movement was a bit painful and thus she decided to not go again. By Sunday it was apparent I had to give her an enema. Things appeared to clean themselves out. Then she didn't go again until Tuesday. But it was at her own accord (i.e. no encouragement from me). She was super excited about this. Then nothing Wednesday, and yesterday was a rough day. She is holding it again, and soiled her panties twice.
I will be calling the doctors this morning and making an appointment for this afternoon. I want her to go to school, as she isn't physically showing signs of discomfort. I do think starting school is creating anxieties that are causing the constipation. It just breaks my heart to see her like this. But I'm doing the best I can.
I don't really know what life is "supposed" to be like. I do find myself thanking God Almighty for only having to worry about constipation in Zoe, rather than a much greater issue. Of course I'm still praying to Him to help her through this morning without me...and to help me relax and let His will be done.
Today's Scripture
Pslams 119: 169-170 (Hebrew Bible)
Let my cry come before you, O Lord;
give me understanding according to your word.
Let my supplication come before you;
deliver me according to your promise.
deliver...maybe that's about the "delivered" Zoe. I'll think about that.
I think most of us place our happiness upon the way it's "supposed to be." I know I often do. I find myself worrying about things far into the future, and most often things I have completely NO control over.
Zoe has been suffering from constipation since last Thursday. Her morning bowel movement was a bit painful and thus she decided to not go again. By Sunday it was apparent I had to give her an enema. Things appeared to clean themselves out. Then she didn't go again until Tuesday. But it was at her own accord (i.e. no encouragement from me). She was super excited about this. Then nothing Wednesday, and yesterday was a rough day. She is holding it again, and soiled her panties twice.
I will be calling the doctors this morning and making an appointment for this afternoon. I want her to go to school, as she isn't physically showing signs of discomfort. I do think starting school is creating anxieties that are causing the constipation. It just breaks my heart to see her like this. But I'm doing the best I can.
I don't really know what life is "supposed" to be like. I do find myself thanking God Almighty for only having to worry about constipation in Zoe, rather than a much greater issue. Of course I'm still praying to Him to help her through this morning without me...and to help me relax and let His will be done.
Today's Scripture
Pslams 119: 169-170 (Hebrew Bible)
Let my cry come before you, O Lord;
give me understanding according to your word.
Let my supplication come before you;
deliver me according to your promise.
deliver...maybe that's about the "delivered" Zoe. I'll think about that.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
pilgrimage - day #26
he whispers reassuringly to me...
Yesterday proved to exceed my expectations. It was Zoe's first day of preschool. My worry and concern was a recent one, as Zoe was so good about new experiences. However, at the end of May, Jim and I went on a date night. We had a babysitter for the girls (first time without family). I misjudged how Zoe would react. I thought for sure Eva would freak at bedtime, but I was wrong; it was Zoe that threw a fit. After that it was really difficult to leave her anywhere. Church, dance classes, even home with Jim was an issue.
I had signed her up for a vacation Bible camp at her preschool. I had no idea she would react so negatively. It was really heartbreaking how clingy she was. She sobbed when I left her, and it was very difficult to make it through the week. I made her complete the camp, because I wanted her to feel empowered. It never happened.
And most of the summer it has continued in the same vein. She has cried when I leave, clung to me to stay, and not wanted to go to her dance classes nor to preschool.
So I figured yesterday would be a disaster. But surprisingly it wasn't. She was all smiles on her way there. She even let me take a picture of her playing with the classroom's doll house. It is priceless. I stuck around the school for an hour or so; peering into the classroom, once in awhile, to see how she was acting. When the kids went to recess (around 10am) I left. She didn't see me go. I had told her I would stay at the school. I came back at 11:30 and joined the kids for a "bear hunt." Her teacher said there were a few "moments," but overall she did good. I was so proud of her. She completely blew my expectations away!
I find myself creating daily expectations - negative or positive - and many times the expectations are not met. I used to focus on the results that were different than those expected, but lately I have been allowing God Almighty to carry me where I need to go. Having a different result than planned is what used to throw me in high-gear anxiety hell. My hope is to hear and truly listen to the reassuring whispers from God Almighty; because I want peace and harmony; for this is Life.
Today's Scripture
Psalms 128:1 (The Message)
All you who fear God, how blessed you are!
how happily you walk on his smooth straight road!
Yesterday proved to exceed my expectations. It was Zoe's first day of preschool. My worry and concern was a recent one, as Zoe was so good about new experiences. However, at the end of May, Jim and I went on a date night. We had a babysitter for the girls (first time without family). I misjudged how Zoe would react. I thought for sure Eva would freak at bedtime, but I was wrong; it was Zoe that threw a fit. After that it was really difficult to leave her anywhere. Church, dance classes, even home with Jim was an issue.
I had signed her up for a vacation Bible camp at her preschool. I had no idea she would react so negatively. It was really heartbreaking how clingy she was. She sobbed when I left her, and it was very difficult to make it through the week. I made her complete the camp, because I wanted her to feel empowered. It never happened.
And most of the summer it has continued in the same vein. She has cried when I leave, clung to me to stay, and not wanted to go to her dance classes nor to preschool.
So I figured yesterday would be a disaster. But surprisingly it wasn't. She was all smiles on her way there. She even let me take a picture of her playing with the classroom's doll house. It is priceless. I stuck around the school for an hour or so; peering into the classroom, once in awhile, to see how she was acting. When the kids went to recess (around 10am) I left. She didn't see me go. I had told her I would stay at the school. I came back at 11:30 and joined the kids for a "bear hunt." Her teacher said there were a few "moments," but overall she did good. I was so proud of her. She completely blew my expectations away!
I find myself creating daily expectations - negative or positive - and many times the expectations are not met. I used to focus on the results that were different than those expected, but lately I have been allowing God Almighty to carry me where I need to go. Having a different result than planned is what used to throw me in high-gear anxiety hell. My hope is to hear and truly listen to the reassuring whispers from God Almighty; because I want peace and harmony; for this is Life.
Today's Scripture
Psalms 128:1 (The Message)
All you who fear God, how blessed you are!
how happily you walk on his smooth straight road!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
my relationship with Bonnie #7
What do you call God?
I don't ask the above question because I am mocking religions, but because if God had a name wouldn't it be cool to call Him that? The Jehovah Witnesses believe God's name is Jehovah. He is Jehovah God - God Almighty.
My favorite part of my Bible studies with Bonnie are what isn't "scripted." We often deviate from the writings to delve further into the beliefs of the faith. Today was no exception. Since Bonnie started studying with me, I have been very interested in why most Christian faiths don't believe God has a name, when it clearly mentions it in the old Hebrew texts, and in many Bibles from the early 1900s. Our New Jerusalem Bible has Yahweh in the place of Jehovah. In no way am I suggesting that the Jehovah Witnesses have all the correct answers, rather why not call God, Jehovah?
Where does Jehovah originate? The Hebrew tetragrammaton is YHWH.
The Witness readings explain the two main reasons that contemporary Bibles replace the over *7,000 YHWH names with God, Lord, or Eternal.
The first reason is that the original name isn't known because Hebrew didn't have vowels. Some have interpreted the YHWH to be Yahweh and others Yehovah. But should it matter the exact name? Or is it more important to create a friendship with God? I personally think the later. And we use Jesus (note the vowels), which could have been Yeshua, Joshua, or Yehoshua. So if we use Jesus, why not use his fathers name, Jehovah?
The other reason is that a long standing of the Jews believes God's name should never be pronounced. The Witnesses believe that the Jews misinterpret the Ten Commandments, Exodus 20:7 (NIV) - You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.
The Messenger translation has a bit different interpretation of Exodus 20:7 - No using the name of God, your God, in curses or silly banter; God won't put up with the irreverent use of his name.
Therefore, the Jews don't say his name (i.e. Jehovah) for fear God Almighty will find them guilty.
When I was growing up I took a Catechism class that didn't prove well for me. I was kicked out a couple times, and I was shamed into writing apologies and returning to the beliefs that didn't feel right to me. One of the questions I had back then was, why do we call God, God? I was told that because there are no other Gods, his is THE GOD.
Jehovah God (God Almighty) never said, "I am the ONLY God." He said, "I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me." So who are these other gods? The Witnesses say the Satan is a god - a demonic god. He has powers, but God Almighty (Jehovah God) is the most powerful of all.
Bonnie brought Wendy today. She is the sister of Lori, the woman that gave me the bookmark from Italy a couple weeks ago. The women I have met have been so pleasant and warm. Wendy was funny, and she had a great sense of humor.
We also spoke of the Lord's Prayer. The Witnesses look at this prayer as a "model prayer," rather than something to just recite. Wendy asked me, "Do you know what 'hallowed' means?" I said it means "sacred." I know this because when I was in Catechism I had to discypher the Lords Prayer line by line. Not the most fun I've ever had. The Witnesses don't state this prayer, but they use it as a model for all the prayers they say to Jehovah. The verses before the prayer as as follows:
"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. And when you pray do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him."
Bonnie also brought further reading on Jehovah's name - a pamphlet called, "The Divine Name That Will Endure Forever." I am looking forward to reading and learning more.
*Bonnie has a neighbor that counted the amount of Jehovah's in her Bible. Yes, it took a long time, but there were definitely more than 7,000. This neighbor of hers sounds like a Michelle kind of person - very anal!
I don't ask the above question because I am mocking religions, but because if God had a name wouldn't it be cool to call Him that? The Jehovah Witnesses believe God's name is Jehovah. He is Jehovah God - God Almighty.
My favorite part of my Bible studies with Bonnie are what isn't "scripted." We often deviate from the writings to delve further into the beliefs of the faith. Today was no exception. Since Bonnie started studying with me, I have been very interested in why most Christian faiths don't believe God has a name, when it clearly mentions it in the old Hebrew texts, and in many Bibles from the early 1900s. Our New Jerusalem Bible has Yahweh in the place of Jehovah. In no way am I suggesting that the Jehovah Witnesses have all the correct answers, rather why not call God, Jehovah?
Where does Jehovah originate? The Hebrew tetragrammaton is YHWH.
The Witness readings explain the two main reasons that contemporary Bibles replace the over *7,000 YHWH names with God, Lord, or Eternal.
The first reason is that the original name isn't known because Hebrew didn't have vowels. Some have interpreted the YHWH to be Yahweh and others Yehovah. But should it matter the exact name? Or is it more important to create a friendship with God? I personally think the later. And we use Jesus (note the vowels), which could have been Yeshua, Joshua, or Yehoshua. So if we use Jesus, why not use his fathers name, Jehovah?
The other reason is that a long standing of the Jews believes God's name should never be pronounced. The Witnesses believe that the Jews misinterpret the Ten Commandments, Exodus 20:7 (NIV) - You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.
The Messenger translation has a bit different interpretation of Exodus 20:7 - No using the name of God, your God, in curses or silly banter; God won't put up with the irreverent use of his name.
Therefore, the Jews don't say his name (i.e. Jehovah) for fear God Almighty will find them guilty.
When I was growing up I took a Catechism class that didn't prove well for me. I was kicked out a couple times, and I was shamed into writing apologies and returning to the beliefs that didn't feel right to me. One of the questions I had back then was, why do we call God, God? I was told that because there are no other Gods, his is THE GOD.
Jehovah God (God Almighty) never said, "I am the ONLY God." He said, "I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me." So who are these other gods? The Witnesses say the Satan is a god - a demonic god. He has powers, but God Almighty (Jehovah God) is the most powerful of all.
Bonnie brought Wendy today. She is the sister of Lori, the woman that gave me the bookmark from Italy a couple weeks ago. The women I have met have been so pleasant and warm. Wendy was funny, and she had a great sense of humor.
We also spoke of the Lord's Prayer. The Witnesses look at this prayer as a "model prayer," rather than something to just recite. Wendy asked me, "Do you know what 'hallowed' means?" I said it means "sacred." I know this because when I was in Catechism I had to discypher the Lords Prayer line by line. Not the most fun I've ever had. The Witnesses don't state this prayer, but they use it as a model for all the prayers they say to Jehovah. The verses before the prayer as as follows:
"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. And when you pray do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him."
Bonnie also brought further reading on Jehovah's name - a pamphlet called, "The Divine Name That Will Endure Forever." I am looking forward to reading and learning more.
*Bonnie has a neighbor that counted the amount of Jehovah's in her Bible. Yes, it took a long time, but there were definitely more than 7,000. This neighbor of hers sounds like a Michelle kind of person - very anal!
pilgrimage - day #25
"Closely observe, with regard either to myself or to others in whom you seek sincere practice of virture, who they are that help you to improve, and consider what their life is. For there are all too few on earth today in whom you can find true fidelity; for almost all people now want from God and men what pleases them and what they desire or lack." - Hadewijch
Last night Jim and I went to a preschool meeting at Zoe's new school. The teacher introduced us to the classroom. Hanging from the ceiling were crayons with the children's names and meanings on them. Zoe's wasn't Life, like I had thought it would be. It was Deliverer. I'm not actually certain where the teacher found this from, maybe I should ask today when I see her. The teacher also said that the children (without direction from anyone) become their names (i.e. deliverer).
Not real certain what Zoe will deliver, but I must say she is turly my hero. Her anxieties and apprehensions were mine; are mine; but yet I know she'll succeed much easier than I.
Today's Scripture
Psalms 122:1-2 (Hebrew Text)
I was glad when they said to me,
"Let us go to the house of the Lord!"
Our feet are standing
within your gates, O Jerusalem.
Last night Jim and I went to a preschool meeting at Zoe's new school. The teacher introduced us to the classroom. Hanging from the ceiling were crayons with the children's names and meanings on them. Zoe's wasn't Life, like I had thought it would be. It was Deliverer. I'm not actually certain where the teacher found this from, maybe I should ask today when I see her. The teacher also said that the children (without direction from anyone) become their names (i.e. deliverer).
Not real certain what Zoe will deliver, but I must say she is turly my hero. Her anxieties and apprehensions were mine; are mine; but yet I know she'll succeed much easier than I.
Today's Scripture
Psalms 122:1-2 (Hebrew Text)
I was glad when they said to me,
"Let us go to the house of the Lord!"
Our feet are standing
within your gates, O Jerusalem.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
player of an instrument vs. musician
During my many years as a music teacher (piano, voice, choir director, Kindermusik), I have seen many students come and go. I find myself making immediate distinctions between those that will play the instrument and those that will become musicians.
I have never associated a musician with the amount of practice time, or the information the student knows; rather a musician has a special "something" that emotionally moves you. There is not a specific definition of the "it" factor, but I can say that even an average non-musical can distinguish the difference between those that have it and those that do not.
I've been reading, "This is Your Brain on Music" by Daniel Levitin and in the chapter "What Makes a Musician?" he describes the qualities that make an expert. An expert usually has 10,000 hours devoted to the field of expertise (i.e. instrument, sport, etc.). That is 3 hours a day for 10 years. He also states why some musicians are superior to others when it comes to the emotional sense (a technical expert vs. a musician). Of course there is a difference between a musician and a celebrity. I am very careful to not aquire students hoping to be famous singers or performers. I am teaching to make better players and ultimately musicians. I am always happy with progress in each student, not holding all to one standard they must achieve. However, it's always a particular joy when teaching a child that has the special "it" factor; the possibilities of becoming a gifted musician.
Levitin writes, "Being an expert musician thus take many forms: dexterity at play an instrument, emotional communication, creativity, and speical mental structures for remembering music...The emerging consensus, however, is that musical expertise is not one thing, but involves many components, and not all musical experts will be endowed with these different components equally - some, like Irving Berlin, may lack what most of us would even consider a fundamental aspect of musicianship, being able to play an instrument well."
Finding what true gift you have and sharing it is what life's journey should truly be about.
I have never associated a musician with the amount of practice time, or the information the student knows; rather a musician has a special "something" that emotionally moves you. There is not a specific definition of the "it" factor, but I can say that even an average non-musical can distinguish the difference between those that have it and those that do not.
I've been reading, "This is Your Brain on Music" by Daniel Levitin and in the chapter "What Makes a Musician?" he describes the qualities that make an expert. An expert usually has 10,000 hours devoted to the field of expertise (i.e. instrument, sport, etc.). That is 3 hours a day for 10 years. He also states why some musicians are superior to others when it comes to the emotional sense (a technical expert vs. a musician). Of course there is a difference between a musician and a celebrity. I am very careful to not aquire students hoping to be famous singers or performers. I am teaching to make better players and ultimately musicians. I am always happy with progress in each student, not holding all to one standard they must achieve. However, it's always a particular joy when teaching a child that has the special "it" factor; the possibilities of becoming a gifted musician.
Levitin writes, "Being an expert musician thus take many forms: dexterity at play an instrument, emotional communication, creativity, and speical mental structures for remembering music...The emerging consensus, however, is that musical expertise is not one thing, but involves many components, and not all musical experts will be endowed with these different components equally - some, like Irving Berlin, may lack what most of us would even consider a fundamental aspect of musicianship, being able to play an instrument well."
Finding what true gift you have and sharing it is what life's journey should truly be about.
pilgrimage - day #24
"My mind reminds me that nothing can separate me from God's love, but my heart still seeks assurance."
The statement above rings true to me: the logical and illogical parts of the brain working against each other in the quest to find truth. On one hand it is easy to state: God is Love; but truly believing that is another thing completely.
Years ago I wrote a song, "The Story of my Life." It was to be the end of Act 1 in my musical about Little House on the Prairie*.
There's a part of me that wants security,
Conforms to society, obeying the man.
And there's a part of me that longs for freedom,
A place to grow, and maybe I can.
There's to parts to every story,
Faith and Glory, maybe more.
For my heart needs time for decisions,
To make provisions, not before
I allow these two parts in my heart to unite,
And become the Story of my Life.
A girls dreams are fed by reading fairy tales,
Believing in fantasies, a wish on a star.
But her dreams are crushed, when reality
clouds her veiw, dstroying her fame.
There's to parts to every story,
Faith and Glory, maybe more.
For my heart needs time for decisions,
To make provisions, not before
I allow these two parts in my heart to unite,
And become the Story of my Life.
And I know that my life isn't all up for me to decide,
But the chance for me to be free.
I must try to be one, who will conquer the raging sun,
And I pray, Oh Lord guild me, guide me
There's a part of me that wants security,
But society I'll leave to the man.
Because that part of me that wants freedom,
I'll let it shine, I'll let it grow.
There's to parts to every story,
Faith and Glory, maybe more.
For my heart needs time for decisions,
To make provisions, not before
I allow these two parts in my heart to unite,
And become the Story of my Life...
And become the Story of my Life...
And become the Story of my Life!
*For those that do not know, I was denied the rights by the holder, and even though I could still perform the music the true meaning was gone for me. It also didn't help that the guy I was "into" back then made fun of "Mary's Lament." Interestingly enough, there is a musical called, "Little House on the Prairie the Musical." It's coming to the Fox Theater with Melissa Gilbert (Laura) playing Ma. I'm seriously considering going to see WHO got the rights. Of course, in retrospect, who was I to think at 20 I would be seriously considered to write a musical based an iconic series of books. Ah, youth!
Today's Scriptures
Psalms 139:17-24
Your thoughts - how rare, how beautiful!
God, I'll never comprehend them!
I couldn't even begin to count them -
and more than I could count the sand of the sea.
Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you!
And please, God, do away with wickedness for good!
And you murderers - out of here! -
all the men and women who belittle you, God,
infatuated with cheap god-imitations.
See how I hate those who hate you, God,
see how I loathe all this godless arrogance;
I hate it with pure, unadulterated hatred.
Your enemies are my enemies!
Investigate my life, O God,
find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
get a clear picture of what I'm about;
See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong -
then guide me on the road to eternal life.
The statement above rings true to me: the logical and illogical parts of the brain working against each other in the quest to find truth. On one hand it is easy to state: God is Love; but truly believing that is another thing completely.
Years ago I wrote a song, "The Story of my Life." It was to be the end of Act 1 in my musical about Little House on the Prairie*.
There's a part of me that wants security,
Conforms to society, obeying the man.
And there's a part of me that longs for freedom,
A place to grow, and maybe I can.
There's to parts to every story,
Faith and Glory, maybe more.
For my heart needs time for decisions,
To make provisions, not before
I allow these two parts in my heart to unite,
And become the Story of my Life.
A girls dreams are fed by reading fairy tales,
Believing in fantasies, a wish on a star.
But her dreams are crushed, when reality
clouds her veiw, dstroying her fame.
There's to parts to every story,
Faith and Glory, maybe more.
For my heart needs time for decisions,
To make provisions, not before
I allow these two parts in my heart to unite,
And become the Story of my Life.
And I know that my life isn't all up for me to decide,
But the chance for me to be free.
I must try to be one, who will conquer the raging sun,
And I pray, Oh Lord guild me, guide me
There's a part of me that wants security,
But society I'll leave to the man.
Because that part of me that wants freedom,
I'll let it shine, I'll let it grow.
There's to parts to every story,
Faith and Glory, maybe more.
For my heart needs time for decisions,
To make provisions, not before
I allow these two parts in my heart to unite,
And become the Story of my Life...
And become the Story of my Life...
And become the Story of my Life!
*For those that do not know, I was denied the rights by the holder, and even though I could still perform the music the true meaning was gone for me. It also didn't help that the guy I was "into" back then made fun of "Mary's Lament." Interestingly enough, there is a musical called, "Little House on the Prairie the Musical." It's coming to the Fox Theater with Melissa Gilbert (Laura) playing Ma. I'm seriously considering going to see WHO got the rights. Of course, in retrospect, who was I to think at 20 I would be seriously considered to write a musical based an iconic series of books. Ah, youth!
Today's Scriptures
Psalms 139:17-24
Your thoughts - how rare, how beautiful!
God, I'll never comprehend them!
I couldn't even begin to count them -
and more than I could count the sand of the sea.
Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you!
And please, God, do away with wickedness for good!
And you murderers - out of here! -
all the men and women who belittle you, God,
infatuated with cheap god-imitations.
See how I hate those who hate you, God,
see how I loathe all this godless arrogance;
I hate it with pure, unadulterated hatred.
Your enemies are my enemies!
Investigate my life, O God,
find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
get a clear picture of what I'm about;
See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong -
then guide me on the road to eternal life.
Monday, September 7, 2009
pilgrimage - day #23
daily devotions
I suppose that at this point (day #23) I am far enough in this pilgrimage to stop (or turn around). A 40-day daily devotional really isn't that long to spend focused on God. In fact, I plan on continuing the daily readings long after this pilgrimage is over. I was telling my friend, Amanda, that I know why the "Pilgrimage" book was on sale for under $4. I find myself unable to like the author, Patricia D. Brown. Ms. Brown attempts to appear modest and humble in her journey; but I find myself annoyed with her daily emphasis on her devotions, abilities and progress on this journey.
I understand that journeys can be any length of time. Ms. Brown has set 40 days to complete hers. In the preface she writes that she already took her first "literal" pilgrimage to France during the 50 days between Easter and Pentacost. In "Pilgrimage", she travels back to France for the physical part of the journey. There are 3 parts to the book: Preparing for the Pilgrimage, Pilgrim on the Way, and Home is the Journey. The actual "departure" from home is only a short time in her journey. Obviously it is very difficult to leave one's home for longer than a couple weeks. I decided to have my pilgrimage at home. However, location isn't the problem; I find it hard to connect with her on a spiritual level. Yes, there have been moments in this journey that I've appreciated the questions Ms. Brown has provoked, but more than often I find her to be rather annoying in her quest to find a blessing. A blessing was her motivation for the pilgrimage. I feel that even with Ms. Brown's thought provoking ideas, she come across as arrogant and belittling to her reader. Of course for under $4, what could one expect?!
Each day the reader is given a devotional and questions to evoke deep thought. Usually I am compelled to respond to her questions, sometimes I'm inspired by a daily occurrence, but today neither prove interesting. So I will continue thoughts on another devotion.
I am very interested in taking a pilgrimage to a labyrinth some day. I was very fascinated with what I learned about their origins and the true harmony of walking inward and, thus, walking outward and toward a more focused and deep communion with God. I don't believe traveling to a different location would have the same affect on me spiritually. I wouldn't care if the labyrinth was in England or in France or another European county. I would just like to walk in the footsteps of those that came thousands of years before me.
Today's Scriptures
Psalms 24:3-6 (The Message)
Who can climb Mount God?
Who can scale the holy north-face?
Only the clean-handed,
only the pure-hearted;
Men who won't cheat,
women who won't seduce.
God is at their side;
with God's help they make it.
This, Jacob, is what happens
to God-seekers, God-questers.
I suppose that at this point (day #23) I am far enough in this pilgrimage to stop (or turn around). A 40-day daily devotional really isn't that long to spend focused on God. In fact, I plan on continuing the daily readings long after this pilgrimage is over. I was telling my friend, Amanda, that I know why the "Pilgrimage" book was on sale for under $4. I find myself unable to like the author, Patricia D. Brown. Ms. Brown attempts to appear modest and humble in her journey; but I find myself annoyed with her daily emphasis on her devotions, abilities and progress on this journey.
I understand that journeys can be any length of time. Ms. Brown has set 40 days to complete hers. In the preface she writes that she already took her first "literal" pilgrimage to France during the 50 days between Easter and Pentacost. In "Pilgrimage", she travels back to France for the physical part of the journey. There are 3 parts to the book: Preparing for the Pilgrimage, Pilgrim on the Way, and Home is the Journey. The actual "departure" from home is only a short time in her journey. Obviously it is very difficult to leave one's home for longer than a couple weeks. I decided to have my pilgrimage at home. However, location isn't the problem; I find it hard to connect with her on a spiritual level. Yes, there have been moments in this journey that I've appreciated the questions Ms. Brown has provoked, but more than often I find her to be rather annoying in her quest to find a blessing. A blessing was her motivation for the pilgrimage. I feel that even with Ms. Brown's thought provoking ideas, she come across as arrogant and belittling to her reader. Of course for under $4, what could one expect?!
Each day the reader is given a devotional and questions to evoke deep thought. Usually I am compelled to respond to her questions, sometimes I'm inspired by a daily occurrence, but today neither prove interesting. So I will continue thoughts on another devotion.
I am very interested in taking a pilgrimage to a labyrinth some day. I was very fascinated with what I learned about their origins and the true harmony of walking inward and, thus, walking outward and toward a more focused and deep communion with God. I don't believe traveling to a different location would have the same affect on me spiritually. I wouldn't care if the labyrinth was in England or in France or another European county. I would just like to walk in the footsteps of those that came thousands of years before me.
Today's Scriptures
Psalms 24:3-6 (The Message)
Who can climb Mount God?
Who can scale the holy north-face?
Only the clean-handed,
only the pure-hearted;
Men who won't cheat,
women who won't seduce.
God is at their side;
with God's help they make it.
This, Jacob, is what happens
to God-seekers, God-questers.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
pilgrimage - day #22
Why have I set out on a pilgrimage?
This is the question the author of "Pilgrimage" posts to ponder today. Maybe it's because at day #22 the reader may have changed their journey's purpose, but I find it to be a rather odd question at this point in the process.
As mentioned before, I'm on a pilgrimage to become closer to God; to strengthen my personal relationship with him. This has been my intent since inviting Bonnie into my home many weeks ago. I'm not hoping to reach a special location (like the author), nor am I on this journey for a global reason (like the Peace Pilgrim described by the author). I suppose one could say I'm on this journey for selfish reasons, as described above. However, I wanted to take a spiritual journey for more than myself: for my children and their spiritual future.
During her pilgrimage, the author meets another pilgrim walking the ancient route to Santiago, Spain. He is walking; she is riding in a car. At this point the author feels like an impostor when calling herself a pilgrim; and she wishes she was also walking the ancient route with this true pilgrim. After sharing her emotions with the pilgrim, he replies, "...pilgrimage is not about how one gets there. It's about an attitude of openness to the Spirit. Pilgrimage is what happens when one waits - with open heart and mind - for God."
Ah, back to that unforgiving virtue: Patience. Such a hard concept to employ, but one we all should invite into our lives. It seems that everyone is looking for "something" to happen - their own HUGE epiphany of sorts - and no one has the time to wait for it to happen. As the "true pilgrim" suggests, it's in the waiting when the pilgrimage occurs. Definitely something to ponder today and the remainder of the pilgrimage journey.
Today's Scripture
Psalms 61:1-4 (NIV)
Hear my cry, O God;
listen to my prayer.
From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For you have been my refuge
a strong tower against the foe.
I long to dwell in your tent forever
and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.
This is the question the author of "Pilgrimage" posts to ponder today. Maybe it's because at day #22 the reader may have changed their journey's purpose, but I find it to be a rather odd question at this point in the process.
As mentioned before, I'm on a pilgrimage to become closer to God; to strengthen my personal relationship with him. This has been my intent since inviting Bonnie into my home many weeks ago. I'm not hoping to reach a special location (like the author), nor am I on this journey for a global reason (like the Peace Pilgrim described by the author). I suppose one could say I'm on this journey for selfish reasons, as described above. However, I wanted to take a spiritual journey for more than myself: for my children and their spiritual future.
During her pilgrimage, the author meets another pilgrim walking the ancient route to Santiago, Spain. He is walking; she is riding in a car. At this point the author feels like an impostor when calling herself a pilgrim; and she wishes she was also walking the ancient route with this true pilgrim. After sharing her emotions with the pilgrim, he replies, "...pilgrimage is not about how one gets there. It's about an attitude of openness to the Spirit. Pilgrimage is what happens when one waits - with open heart and mind - for God."
Ah, back to that unforgiving virtue: Patience. Such a hard concept to employ, but one we all should invite into our lives. It seems that everyone is looking for "something" to happen - their own HUGE epiphany of sorts - and no one has the time to wait for it to happen. As the "true pilgrim" suggests, it's in the waiting when the pilgrimage occurs. Definitely something to ponder today and the remainder of the pilgrimage journey.
Today's Scripture
Psalms 61:1-4 (NIV)
Hear my cry, O God;
listen to my prayer.
From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For you have been my refuge
a strong tower against the foe.
I long to dwell in your tent forever
and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Pilgrimage Quote
Here is a hopeful thought from the author of "Pilgimage," Patricia D. Brown:
"May I slow my pace and allow my heart to catch up with my body so that a new song might grow in my heart."
I hope to incorporate this thought into my life.
"May I slow my pace and allow my heart to catch up with my body so that a new song might grow in my heart."
I hope to incorporate this thought into my life.
pilgrimage - day #21
surrender
When someone says, "surrender," I immediately think of the definition: to give oneself up, as to the police. To give up - it doesn't sound positive. The act of giving up control seems so wrong to me. I grew up with strong female role models. Taking control of your life was essential to maturity. Accepting responsibility for my actions was what made me an adult.
Another definition of surrender is: to give up comfort. To surrender from a comfortable place is a very foreign concept to me. I know I must acknowledge that God is the one in control, but that still doesn't make it easy to relinquish my desire for control. Even with the knowledge that my anxiety is caused by my desire to control, I still find a comfort in what I do have control over. I find great internal strength from organizing a cabinet, cleaning a cluttered space, or the smell of a newly cleaned home. It is in this comfort I find reassurance and harmonic peace.
I would like to find that same comfort in surrendering myself to God. I wish I could feel the same empowerment from Him that I do from labeling a shelf with descriptive stickers. This surrendering is my goal throughout this spiritual journey. One that I am hoping happens, but one I know will probably take longer than a 40-day pilgrimage journey. Afterall, I have been a control-freak for over 34 years.
Today's Scripture
Psalms 26:1-3 (The Message)
Clear my name, God;
I've kept an honest shop.
I've thrown in my lot with you, God,
and I'm not budging.
Examine me, God, from head to foot,
order your batter of tests.
Make sure I'm fit
inside and out.
So I never lost
sight of your love,
But keep in step with you,
never missing a beat.
When someone says, "surrender," I immediately think of the definition: to give oneself up, as to the police. To give up - it doesn't sound positive. The act of giving up control seems so wrong to me. I grew up with strong female role models. Taking control of your life was essential to maturity. Accepting responsibility for my actions was what made me an adult.
Another definition of surrender is: to give up comfort. To surrender from a comfortable place is a very foreign concept to me. I know I must acknowledge that God is the one in control, but that still doesn't make it easy to relinquish my desire for control. Even with the knowledge that my anxiety is caused by my desire to control, I still find a comfort in what I do have control over. I find great internal strength from organizing a cabinet, cleaning a cluttered space, or the smell of a newly cleaned home. It is in this comfort I find reassurance and harmonic peace.
I would like to find that same comfort in surrendering myself to God. I wish I could feel the same empowerment from Him that I do from labeling a shelf with descriptive stickers. This surrendering is my goal throughout this spiritual journey. One that I am hoping happens, but one I know will probably take longer than a 40-day pilgrimage journey. Afterall, I have been a control-freak for over 34 years.
Today's Scripture
Psalms 26:1-3 (The Message)
Clear my name, God;
I've kept an honest shop.
I've thrown in my lot with you, God,
and I'm not budging.
Examine me, God, from head to foot,
order your batter of tests.
Make sure I'm fit
inside and out.
So I never lost
sight of your love,
But keep in step with you,
never missing a beat.
Friday, September 4, 2009
pilgrimage - day #20
walking on holy ground...
The holiest places I've ever been were in London, England. Maybe this was because I wasn't home, I was sight-seeing alone (Dana was at work), and I was looking for someone or something to tell me where to go with my life path.
We arrived at St. Paul Cathedral around noon, of course I wasn't paying close attention to time. I walked off the red open-topped bus and into this massive church. I arrived just in time to hear the 12noon prayers. Up on the pulpit high above me was this very stern looking nun. I didn't know the Latin part of her prayer, but I was able to join in on the Lord's Prayer. It was such a moving experience - I was brought to tears. As a non-Catholic person at only 20, I was experiencing my first taste of mass.
Afterwards I did a bit of an independent tour. The enormity of the cathedral was so incredible. It actually was more impressive that Notre Dame. I was brought to my knees in prayer when I traveled in the Angelican Martyr's Chapel. I felt felt closer to God then I ever did before. There was such a sense of being "home".
I have never had that powerful of an experience again. However, I do find myself in an overwhelming attitude of peace as I continue on this spiritual journey. Today marks the half-way point on the "Pilgrimage" journey, and I do believe I have learned more about myself. I hope my soul continues to have moments of clarity, but I'm not expecting a huge epiphany or awakening. Of course a small epiphany would be rather cool, huh?
Today's Scripture
Psalms 25:8-10 (The Message)
Who is this King-Glory?
God, armed
and battle-ready.
Wake up, you sleepyhead city!
Wake up, you sleepyhead people!
King-Glory is ready to enter.
Who is this King-Glory?
God the Angel Armies:
he is King-Glory
The holiest places I've ever been were in London, England. Maybe this was because I wasn't home, I was sight-seeing alone (Dana was at work), and I was looking for someone or something to tell me where to go with my life path.
We arrived at St. Paul Cathedral around noon, of course I wasn't paying close attention to time. I walked off the red open-topped bus and into this massive church. I arrived just in time to hear the 12noon prayers. Up on the pulpit high above me was this very stern looking nun. I didn't know the Latin part of her prayer, but I was able to join in on the Lord's Prayer. It was such a moving experience - I was brought to tears. As a non-Catholic person at only 20, I was experiencing my first taste of mass.
Afterwards I did a bit of an independent tour. The enormity of the cathedral was so incredible. It actually was more impressive that Notre Dame. I was brought to my knees in prayer when I traveled in the Angelican Martyr's Chapel. I felt felt closer to God then I ever did before. There was such a sense of being "home".
I have never had that powerful of an experience again. However, I do find myself in an overwhelming attitude of peace as I continue on this spiritual journey. Today marks the half-way point on the "Pilgrimage" journey, and I do believe I have learned more about myself. I hope my soul continues to have moments of clarity, but I'm not expecting a huge epiphany or awakening. Of course a small epiphany would be rather cool, huh?
Today's Scripture
Psalms 25:8-10 (The Message)
Who is this King-Glory?
God, armed
and battle-ready.
Wake up, you sleepyhead city!
Wake up, you sleepyhead people!
King-Glory is ready to enter.
Who is this King-Glory?
God the Angel Armies:
he is King-Glory
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