After an exhausting week, my family and I skipped church yesterday morning. We needed a bit of family time - without others involved. Therefore, I missed the discussion on the second parable with the Bible Study group. However, I did read the second chapter and found it to be really compelling. The reading was "The Man Who Talked with His Soul," based on Luke 12:13-21. This parable is often called the one about the "rich man".
One passage that spoke to me was, "...a person can know all the facts, yet miss the point. We can reason logically, yet come to the wrong conclusion. We can say all the right words while having a wrong heart."
As mentioned in previous blogs, I've recently become friends again with my ex-husband, Pete*. Those that know me, realize that since my ex and I knew each other most of our lives it doesn't seem odd to rekindle a friendship. I suppose after 9 years, wounds have been healed and scars have been bandaged. I don't have regrets, but I always hoped that he would know the truth about his childhood.
In a nutshell, Pete never knew his father and his mother told him that if he ever tried to find him she'd know Pete didn't love her anymore. His mother has her own reality of life, and she has spent the last 34 years convincing Pete that her reality is the truth. Unfortunately, no matter how hard he tries to escape, Pete is caught up in the toxic reality his mother has spoon fed him.
After a failed marriage with me, and his second on the edge of ending, Pete did what I have always hoped he would: he contacted his father. I will never forget hearing those words for the first time. It was almost dream-like! Hopefully his father will shed some light on the past and clear up the "reality" that has encompassed Pete's life from little on. It is this toxic bizarre "reality" that ultimately ruined our marriage, and if things don't change will always be a life-long thorn in Pete's side.
I truly believe that some people are so selfish they can't see past their selfish ends to view how it affects others. His mother was so selfish that she never wanted her child to contact his father. This behavior did affect Pete's father (if that was her goal), but it also affected how Pete views relationships, and himself. His mother is NOT the only one that will ever truly love him, even though that's what he was brought up believing.
The story of the rich man describes him as "an exceedingly fortunate man. He has the kind of land farmers dream of, and he knows what to do with it." Another comment is, "[the rich man] speaks sixty words, and eleven of them are I or my. And all of them-every single one!-are concerned with his own welfare. This may be a spiritual man, but he is one of the smallest men you'll ever meet."
People like this leave out other people and they leave out God. "Yes, and it's possible even to pray, and while praying move farther and farther away from God, because we emply prayer only to enlist God's power for our own selfish ends."
I think at some level we are all selfish. The "mother-bear" instinct comes out when we feel the need to protect our young, and the "why me" attitude can creep into our thoughts and worries. But it takes a truly foolish person to be so myopic that she ignors the needs and best interests of her children.
"When you put [the parable] all together, you realize that God was saying, 'You damned fool.'" The author clarifies damed by stating, "Damned has to do with eternal matters, not the petty stuff of thoughtless anger."
So I suppose Pete's mom might have her "reality" on earth, but eventually her crimes of selfishness will be punished by a higher power.
*names have been changed for the respect of those involved*
