pilgrimage - day #27

happiness not dependent upon rigid conceptions...

I think most of us place our happiness upon the way it's "supposed to be."  I know I often do.  I find myself worrying about things far into the future, and most often things I have completely NO control over.

Zoe has been suffering from constipation since last Thursday.  Her morning bowel movement was a bit painful and thus she decided to not go again.  By Sunday it was apparent I had to give her an enema.  Things appeared to clean themselves out.  Then she didn't go again until Tuesday.  But it was at her own accord (i.e. no encouragement from me).  She was super excited about this.  Then nothing Wednesday, and yesterday was a rough day.  She is holding it again, and soiled her panties twice.

I will be calling the doctors this morning and making an appointment for this afternoon.  I want her to go to school, as she isn't physically showing signs of discomfort.  I do think starting school is creating anxieties that are causing the constipation.  It just breaks my heart to see her like this.  But I'm doing the best I can.

I don't really know what life is "supposed" to be like.  I do find myself thanking God Almighty for only having to worry about constipation in Zoe, rather than a much greater issue.  Of course I'm still praying to Him to help her through this morning without me...and to help me relax and let His will be done.

Today's Scripture
Pslams 119: 169-170 (Hebrew Bible)
Let my cry come before you, O Lord; 
give me understanding according to your word.
Let my supplication come before you; 
deliver me according to your promise.

deliver...maybe that's about the "delivered" Zoe.  I'll think about that.