A "Spirited" Letter to My Grandpa

Grandpa,
After our conversation was cut short on Christmas Eve, I really felt the need to write you about my convictions and beliefs. I realize that I am in no way an expert on life, death, the Bible, nor Christ. However, I believe you need to hear the following from someone who not only loves you, but respects your fears, your worries, and your doubt more than you can possibly imagine. So here is my explanation of a soul and life:

************************************************************************
When a baby is born, and she takes her first breath, God fills her body with a unique soul/spirit/essence. This can be best illustrated by filling a glass with water. The baby's body is the glass, and the unique essence is her soul.

As the baby grows into an adult, the glass will take on characteristics of the soul/spirit/essence. Therefore, resembling the essence in most ways. Of course the glass might shake a bit during turbulent times, thus spilling the water. And of course the water will evaporate over time, but that is where spiritual nourishment comes into play. Will the girl fill her glass with the word of God (i.e. scripture), or will she fill her glass with negative thoughts, fears and worries (i.e. air)?

Upon death, the water from her body is poured out and the glass/body/shell is buried in the Earth. The water, her spirit/soul/essences enters the Universe. If she is a Christian, has lived by the teachings of Jesus* and God finds her worthy, her soul will enter another existence (i.e. heaven) where she will be reunited with others. She will be energy/spirit/essence, but she will resemble her former shell/body, so will the others with which is united. I do not think Heaven is a guarantee, but a spiritual "destination" which one can achieve.

*I want to interject that the teachings of Jesus, not those massaged, tweaked and written by Paul in his letters, are where we truly see the grace and love of the "universal" God. If one is to live by the B-Attitudes (sermon on the mount), the lessons of the parables, and the unorthodox friendships Jesus acquired, one truly learns to live for Christ, "working" toward a life HE would want. As Zoe tells me often, "Be Kind, Be Like Christ."

As Biblical scholar, Sandra Glahn wrote in her book Coffee Cup Bible Studies: Kona with Jonah, "To believe that every work of the Bible is true and inspired by God does not necessarily mean we must believe God intends for us to understand every word of it as nonfiction. Assuming otherwise is a mistake made by both believers and nonbelievers."

Works are important, but Grace is what truly interjects and saves us from our selfish goals. Finding a balance between Faith and Works is essential, but it is Grace that allows us to stumble, fall, and try again. If we are truly "working" with the only intent on "getting into heaven," then we have missed out on what we are supposed to be working towards: to be like Christ and show all (every soul on this Earth) the grace that God showed us through His son, Jesus Christ.

STOP THE PRESSES! Christmas Trees are Pagan!

Before I begin this bizarre homage to Christmas traditions, I want to make a few things clear for my readers.

1. I am aware that December 25th was not in the Bible.  We do not know the exact date of Jesus's birth.
2. Most traditions popularized in the early Christian church (i.e. Catholic) were taken from pagan neighbors - converting was super important.
3. I am not making fun of the Jehovah Witnesses.  I admire their tenacity.  However, I enjoy pointing out when people (or organizations) make statements that are cobbled up messes.

Bonnie came over last week to drop off the monthly publications from the Witnesses.  I knew there would at least be one article on how the Pagans were the originators of all things Christmas.  I was not disappointed.  "The Christmas Tree It's Pre-Christian Origin," was rich with assumptions and albeit small, presented three pictures to support the claim.

According to the article, Christmas trees (adorned evergreen trees) were being celebrated before the birth of Jesus.  Look, Jesus didn't ask us to decorate a tree for him.  He never asked us to celebrate his birthday.  I realize this is why Witnesses don't celebrate birthdays, however, I believe the traditions celebrated each year have more to do with family, love and giving than they do with pagans.

Not only were adorned trees popular before Jesus's birth, but they are phallic symbols.  Oh no!  They are tall = must be a penis depicted.  Good grief.

Evergreen - ever green; that is what I think is special about the Christmas tree.  I love the idea of remembering each ornament and giving it a special place on a branch.  I love homemade ones from the ladybugs, and I love honoring traditions that Jim and I bring from our youth as well as ones we've created since having children.  The tree is a remembrance that Jesus's love is ever green.  And in this case, Pagan or not, the tree CAN be a symbol of a Christian Christmas.

A symbol is what we make of it.  To me, a statue of Mary is just a pretty relic.  To others, this statue is a way to speak/pray directly to the spirit of Mary.  Mary then takes that prayer and places it in a high place for God.  If I don't think of the evergreen as anything but a symbol of Jesus's love, why then would I be an abomination in God's eyes?  I am not under some delusion that the tree was created on the first Christmas (December 25th), nor am I praying to the tree.  Why then is the symbol such a horrible one?

The BEST part of the small article are the three pictures of rock carvings depicting trees.  Here is a crude picture taken by my phone (my apologies that it isn't the right direction):

I cannot stop laughing that these drawings are used to illustrate that the evergreen tree was adorned and celebrated before the birth of Jesus.  I think in all three cases we can see that they are trees, #3 definitely looks like an evergreen tree.  But there aren't ornaments or tinsel or other "traditional" decorations.  I am certain the celebrations predating Jesus's birth had beautiful garlands and the like using evergreens.  After all, they were a plentiful tree back then!

On this, the first day of Winter, I am reminded of the celebrations for the winter solstice of years passed.  Some still participate in the changing of the seasons, when the earth is celebrating the longest night of the year in the Northern Hemisphere.  Solstice means "sun stands still."  On this special night the sun seems to stand still, thus getting reborn.  Does this sound a lot like Jesus's birth?  Birth of a sun or birth of a son.  Interesting how this all began.

Regardless what your winter traditions are, have a blessed time celebrating!

My Longest Book Yet

With only 2 weeks left in the year, I was probably biting off a bit more than I should chew when I started Michael Jackson, The Magic, the Madness, the Whole Story last week.

Chiming in at 765 pages, this epic novel was definitely two books in one (or at least I should be able to count it for 2 of my books).  Right?

Anyway, my friend, Colleen, highly recommended it and I must say it was definitely the most amazing story of a person that lived during my lifetime.

I was very into Michael Jackson, probably comparable to the Beiber Fever of today.  I remember going with my parents to the Gibraltar Trade Center to find Michael items.  If I remember correctly, my sister and I left with t-shirts, purses, and buttons with Michael's adorable face front and center.  This was right after Thriller came out, and I had decided that I would marry him one day.  Of course this was after I had made peace with the idea I couldn't marry Jesus, Thomas Edison nor Bing Crosby.

As the book states: "The Whole Story" it was true to that.  The author, J. Randy Taraborrelli, first published the book in 1991, then again in 2003 (with added info), and then finally after Jackson passed in 2009.

The story takes the reader through Michael's younger years, his relationship with Lisa Marie Presley, his alleged child molestation scandals, his three children, and much more.  After all, it is over 700 pages!

I definitely recommend the book, because the author had a great way of captivating the audience into reading more and more.  The life of Michael Jackson reads like a novel, and there are times I had to remind myself this was REAL and not simply a fictitious tale of a recording artist.

Hopefully in the next 2 weeks I am able to finish my goal of 52 books.

Gifts at Christmastime

About a month or so ago, I bought a very special book that I have been eager to start.  However, per the 52 Books in 52 weeks challenge, I have been trying to complete 3 books at once!  With that being said, I have given myself a new challenge starting January 1st.  What exactly is the challenge?

I was inspired by reading a bit of Ann Voskamp's book "One Thousand Gifts; A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are."  So my goals are as follows:

1) I will collect my own list of gifts and use this fantastic app on my phone: 1000 Gifts.  I hope to use it to have one location to enter my gifts.  If I only get to 100 by the end of 2012, that is okay with me.  If I get to 1000, I hope I will be inspired to continue to find the gifts around me each and every day.

2) I have also printed off the 100 Days Calendar.  I would like to fill the 3 spaces in the next two weeks.  However, currently I have only the first entry as: WRITE.  I want to spend time writing each day.  I broke down WRITE into three categories:

• Blog
• Cards/Letters
• Story/Article

I want to be able to write each day.  Whether I am sharing the journey with my readers, or writing a card to a sick friend (or someone I do not know), or whether I spend time writing a new story/article or tweak an existing one.  If I want to be a writer, I have to write.

Hopefully I will be able to fill the other two spots in the entry fields.  We'll see what I desire to spend more time with each and every day.  I also do not plan on doing the 52 books challenge again, so that instead, I can focus more on my own writing and devotion to my family.

Book Signing Tomorrow

A little while ago, I had a post called A Journey To the Past.  Journey is a short story about Dearborn, the city I was born in and the city I now reside.  It was selected to be part of a larger work that is debuting tomorrow.

I will be signing copies of the above book with other authors.  I am blessed to be part of a historical city like Dearborn, and I am excited to see my story in print.  Hopefully not too many changes were made, since I no longer own the rights.

If you are interested in purchasing a book for a special Christmas gift (and autographed by yours truly), stop by:
Andrew A. Mazzara Administrative Services and Conference Center

at Henry Ford Community College
5101 Evergreen, Dearborn, MI

I look forward to seeing some of you there!

Favorite Children's Authors #2B

Here is another picture from the Jan Brett book signing.  She was so extremely gracious.  I was impressed with her ability to stay happy even with all the people in line.  I was in the last 1/3, so she had signed a lot of books at this point.

Favorite Children's Authors #2

If you have never read a Jan Brett book, you are missing out on what I think are one of the best illustrations EVER!  Here are a few of her best loved books:

I had the privilege of meeting Jan Brett at the Ann Arbor District Library a couple of weeks ago.  Ms. Brett was extremely gracious.  She gave a little talk for the children and adults about her new book, Home For Christmas.

I purchased the book for myself (she was only signing one book), and two for the Ladybugs' teachers.  They passed out signed (with ink not computer generated) book plates that I added to the teacher books.  My mom came with me, and we stood in line for quite some time.  However, we were pleased to finally meet Jan Brett up close.

Ms. Brett talking about her newest book

drawing Ms. Brett did during her presentation

Wrong Direction: Rethinking

It has officially been 4 months that I have been on a journey to a healthier me.

When I weighed in this morning, I knew I had gained a few pounds.  After all, we were on vacation, Thanksgiving was just a few days ago, and I didn't work out for an entire week (and a few days plus).  However, Sunday I reevaluated my exercise routine.  With school in full session (the Ladybugs schedule and my teaching schedule), I have very little time alone.  If I spend the time Evie is at preschool in a class, I have no time alone.  I am a person that needs time alone to think, meditate and just chill.

So my new routine is:
Monday 6am: RIPPED
Wednesday 6am: Ultimate Circuit
Friday 6am: RIPPED

I have three Aqua Zumba classes left on Thursday evenings.  I love the class, but it actually exhausts me to then wake up early on Friday mornings.  Therefore, I will not be continuing the class after it is complete.

I also have to state that early morning classes give me empowerment for the rest of the day.  I also am less stressed, due to the endorphins released in the classes.  I am encouraged to continue down the path...even though it is a slow process.

Have Primary Colors Changed?

When I was in elementary school, I learned about the color wheel:

I recall choosing purple and yellow to make an opposite picture in art class.  In fact, my oldest, Zoe, even learned about the color wheel in Kindergarten last year.  I realize she had an art teacher as her Kindergarten teacher, but she knows vividly what colors make other colors (i.e. red and blue make purple).

Then we took our second trip to the Wizard of Oz exhibit at the Henry Ford Museum in town.  Since we were one of the few families there on the second visit, we were able to read and participate in more of the activities available.

Here is one that frustrated Zoe to no avail, and I must add that I befuddled that such an activity existed.

So Zoe reads, "Red, Green and Blue are the primary colors.." and she says, "Mommy!  Green is NOT a primary color!"

I realize that "light" is created by red, green and blue.  However, a more appropriate way to state the above would be the following from Wikipedia:

The impression of white light can also be created by mixing appropriate intensities of the primary colors of light: red, green and blue (RGB), a process called additive mixing, as seen in many display technologies.

My issue was not at the fact that you can make light using the three colors, but they are not THE primary colors that make light; rather they are the three colors that when mixed create white light.

However, the display did not end with the above picture.

Zoe looks and says, "Mommy, Green and Red do NOT make YELLOW!"  And in all honesty, this lovely color wheel is very difficult to explain to a child who does not like to see things differently then what she has learned.  The above picture might be the "MAGIC" mixing guide, but lets be real - green and red do not make yellow on a color wheel.  

What is truly interesting, is that the original Horse of a Different Color was every color of the rainbow (red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple).  However, by doing the hands-on activity Zoe was not able to make the horse every color of the rainbow.  And white light had nothing to do with the Wizard of Oz.  

My mother, a retired school teacher, stepped in and tried to make the horse each color shown above using the knobs in the center console, and was unsuccessful.  She also suggested that with the preschool activities elsewhere in the exhibit (the average age level would be 3-5), this middle school physics concept of light was really out of place.

Just to give you a brief idea of the exhibit, I have embedded a video below from its appearance last year in Minnesota:

Behind the Eyes of the Enemy

On a grey day in 1997, I entered the Tower of London with a bus load of other London tourists.  I was touring by myself, and never felt nervous.  My friend, Dana and her husband were working, and I had no problem following the signs to hop on the bus with other visitors.

However, the minute I entered The Tower grounds I became nauseous.  I assumed it was because I had not eaten lunch yet, and was starving.  But then I became unable to move further - it was almost like my body became paralyzed.  I politely excused myself and remained outside The Tower until the tour bus returned.

I returned home, inspired to read the history of London. I voraciously read history books, novels, memoirs and watched British Tele; I was hooked.   I learned about the vast amounts of people who were put to death on The Tower Square as well as in the walls (i.e. the princes).

In the last few years, I have read many books on the Holocaust.  In both historical times, people were heinously put to death by guards.  I just finished, The Reader by Bernhard Schlink.  Just for the record, I believe Maus was the best book ever written about the Holocaust.

...but, back to The Reader...

I was a bit put off by Part One.  When Michael Berg is fifteen he has hepatitis.  On his way home from school he gets very ill and he is rescued by 36-year-old Hanna Schmiz.  When Michael's health returns, he visits Hanna to thank her for her kindness.  This odd paring turns into a very physical and emotional affair.  Each time Michael visits he is to read to Hanna.  Then they participate in bathing, sexual encounters, and bicycle trips.

I suppose I was creeped out by this, because I am 36 and have male students who look up to me as a teacher.  Having sex with them is pedophilia, and totally creepy!  If it wasn't for my mother insisting I get to Part Two, I would have ended the book then and there.  I am very glad I listened to her, because the story really begins at that point.

Hanna and Michael next meet when she is on trial for a crime, refusing to defend herself.  She was a guard a a concentration camp, and Michael is a law student studying the case.  I don't want to give anything about the story away, but let me state that the ending is a bit disturbing 

On a visit to Struthof in Alsace, the nearest concentration camp, Michael encounters a driver who gives him such poignant and thoughtful incite into one who murdered people in the camps:

"No, I'm not talking about orders and obedience.  An executioner is not under orders.  He is doing his work, he doesn't hate the people he execute, he's not taking revenge on them, he's not killing them because they're in his way or threatening him or attacking him.  They're a matter of such indifference to him that he can kill them as easily as not." page 151

I was deeply affected by this above text.  My best friend, Joe, is currently working in Germany.  He visited a nearby concentration camp and we were texting about his visit.  He made the comment that he couldn't understand who would ever come up with this way of death - and who could carry the heinous crime to fruition.  After reading, The Reader, I wrote him back and told him that he needed to read the book to get a better understanding of one such person.

I do not believe this excuses the crime, but putting ourselves in the shoes of another can be extremely mind blowing.

Did I mention the book is a quick read?! :)  Happy reading to you all!

Being a servant

Zoe's Bible memory verse this week is from Mark 9:35:

Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all.”

Teaching your child to be humble is truly a remarkable feat.  I can only imagine what the followers of Jesus thought when he said the above.  How could one be first if he is last?

So often as a mother I put everyone ahead of me.  I have caught myself saying, "Do I look like your servant?" to my children.  But the truth is: we should only serve one leader and that is Jehovah God.  Quite often I am inspired by music, and today did not disappoint.

Following are the lyrics to a beautiful hymn that moved me during worship this morning.

The Servant Song
Will you let me be your servant
Let me be as Christ to you
Pray that I might have the grace
To let me be your servant too

We are pilgrims on the journey
We are brothers on the road
We are here to help each other
Walk the mile and bear the load

I will hold the Christ light for you
In the night time of your fear
I will hold my hand out to you
Speak the the peace you long to hear

I will weep when you are weeping
When you laugh, I'll laugh with you
I will share your joy and sorrow
Till we've seen this journey through

When we sing to God in heaven
We shall find such harmony
Born to all we've known together
Of Christ's love and agony

Here is a beautiful audio rendition of the same hymn:

When does Discipline become Abuse?

Yesterday, while running errands with Evie, I heard the following dialog on Michel Martin's NPR show, Tell Me More.

Click for Transcript

I was quite curious what video was being referenced in the conversation.

Here is the video in question.  It is very upsetting, but I post it because this blog was inspired (so to speak) by its existence.



It got me thinking about spanking and what kind of methods of discipline are "okay" and which are "abuse".   When does punishment not fit the crime, for instance.  

When I was a little girl, the usual punishment was being sent to my room.  On many occasions I talked back to my mom or dad about going to my room, so often a spanking or paddling accompanied time in my room.  If I swore, my mouth was "washed" out with soap.  I clearly remember getting soap in my mouth for calling my sister a "f**k head."  I am almost certain I did not know what the "f" word meant, but I knew it was really bad.  Thus, what could be worse to call my sister?  A horrible word, plus "head".

My father received his paddles from work - when his principal was no longer able to use them as discipline.  I remember my elementary principal paddling students in his office on occasion.  I was a VERY sensitive child, so I remembered the crying and the fear of ever having to go to the office.  But should our children FEAR us?  Should they FEAR adults?  I truly believe that FEAR is not RESPECT.

I did not necessarily fear my father, but I never thought he was beating me up.  He was simply punishing me for my poor choices.  Even in retrospect, I would not have had a compelling YouTube video like the one above.  My father did not beat me up during the punishment process. My parents were both educators with plenty of child behavior training.  I truly believe in the 70s and 80s spanking your child (or paddling for that matter) was just standard practice.

Jim and I do have a punishment regiment for our girls.  A warning is given.  Sometimes the action does not warrant a warning, and moves to the next step.  A time out is given based on the age of the child  .  Sometimes Zoe will start with 6 minutes and end up serving us 30 or more minutes.  If time outs are not working, items that are loved (TV, toys, etc.) are taken away.  Zoe is our child who tries to push all buttons.  Evie has never had more time in time out than her age.  However, I will admit to smacking Zoe on the butt a couple of times for her mouthing off to me.  It gets her attention, and I only tap her bum.

So is spanking wrong?  There definitely needs to be consequences for the misdemeanor.  But I believe we live in a society that is much more lax with the severity of punishments than when I was a kid.  As much as I believe in time outs - for time to think about what you've done wrong, I also believe in explanation and time to hug at the end.  Knowing that consequences don't necessarily mean you are bad, only that you made a poor choice.

For instance: Monday evening Zoe shared with me that she had to move her clothespin at school.  She has never been in trouble at school before, ever.  Her class has a system of warning, time outs, and office time.  So "moving her clothespin" meant she made a poor choice.  However, the choice was only a warning and not repeated again to have a letter sent home.  When I asked Zoe what she did, she was oblivious to the "crime."  I knew that her teacher was not one to give consequences without definite reason, so I had Jim ask her teacher yesterday morning what Zoe did.  He was told Zoe was rambunctious and interrupted 4 times during a lesson.  Thus, her teacher had her move the clothespin to get her attention.  She never repeated the disrespectful actions, so the clothespin movement worked.  I was able to further talk to Zoe about her actions, because I believe talking and discussing is possible at 6.

So I posted the following question to my facebook friends after hearing about the judge and his 16 year old daughter:

I am wondering, my Facebook readers, when does a punishment become abuse? Do you spank? What do you do for discipline (i.e. do you have a list of punishments to fit different crimes)?

I was truly curious what my friends out in Facebook-Land did, and I really enjoyed and appreciated their comments:

• Laurie Well, at 16 the absolutely worst punishment was not being able to drive the family car.........yikes, I would rather have received 50 lashes......Yesterday at 1:27pm 
  
  
  Andrea You do NOT hit. Everyone should have learned that in kindergarten and it applies to adults.
  

  Yesterday at 2:46pm 
• Amanda There are far more effective forms of discipline then hitting or spanking...I myself have never done it. We have always used time outs and taking things away. Also I find positive reinforcement always prevents bad behavior. Anytime Olivia is going through a particularly difficult stage we bring out the old behavior chart where she gets rewarded for the good things she does and gets stickers removed for not following directions. It has always worked. There is really no need for physically punishing children.
  

  Yesterday at 3:01pm
• Joe  I would think that even those that feel spanking is necessary and/or helpful (sure, it can be effective if you're too lazy and stupid to use your brain to try to teach your kid something) would realize that THIS IS A 16 YEAR OLD!! A little kid that can't reason yet needs to be taught to not run into the street and you want to get a point across and don't think this kid is going to understand the seriousness through a conversation or a time out when you get home so there's actually reason to consider spanking, but this is an adolescent old enough to reason and think abstractly and consider consequences and sue to separate themselves for you sorry excuse for parenting. He's not mature enough to handle using his words to express his feelings to his daughter, he has to hit her?!? And this idiot is supposed to discipline the general public to teach them how to behave?? I hope his local voters are paying attention to this clown's actions.
  

  23 hours ago
• David I have only spanked my children 5 times tops each. A lot has to do with how you were disciplined. Every generation seems to be less physical with punishment. I personally feel that a hand on the butt to get their attention is OK. But grabbing something to hit with or hitting anywhere else to too much. But that's just me.
  17 hours ago
  
  

Favorite Children's Authors

I am going to start a new blog topic, Favorite Children's Authors.

I love children's literature.  I truly enjoy books that make me laugh, or cry, or really think.  I also love the language of a beautifully written book.  To mark my first author, I am selecting Kevin Henkes.

Last Christmas, Zoe and Evie's Aunt Sarah gave them each audio books.  One of the selections was Lily's Purple Plastic Purse.  We had read this story before, as well as a few other Kevin Henkes ones.  However, hearing the stories told on the CD really are amazingly touching.

I began really paying attention to the words used in these books, and I must say that Chrysanthemum is my all time favorite!

Henkes uses words to describe the little girl and the flower.  The play on words might be missed by younger children, but I love the whimsical nature of the language.  Henkes also does not "dumb down" his words for a younger audience.  Therefore the story is told with lush words and an almost poetic-like meter.

My favorite lines in Chrysanthemum have to do with her reactions to things.  When she is upset, Henkes writes, "Chrysanthemum wilted."  And when the little mouse is happy, Henkes writes, "She blushed, she beamed, she bloomed."  Definitely a play on words in this case, but so heartwarming for the reader.

I highly recommend any of the Henkes library for children.  You will not be disappointed.

lets give 'em something to blog about...

Apparently I am not the only one stepping on a Soap Box to voice concerns over Halloween costume choices.  Halloween has passed and thus I have packed up our witches and ghost decorations (albeit most of our fall decorations are ones that last through the entire season), but the debate in my mind continues.  Why, might you ask?  Well, reader, if so many people are writing blogs against the sexy and inappropriate costumes available for children, why do these costumes continue to exist?  Either the demand is out there, or people are purchasing what the costume industry suggests.

All I had to do was Google "Inappropriate Children's Halloween Costume" and the results were amazing.

Oddee has a list of 12 most inappropriate children's costumes (view link here), iVillage chimed in with an article (view link here), the FW adds a few new ones (view link here), and The Huffington Post also made a hilarious collection of costumes on their site (view link here).

The thing is: society is laughing about Baby Hitler and Sex Kitten.  Rather shouldn't we be concerning ourselves with what IS appropriate?  Maybe encouraging (demanding) costume companies to make other, less sexy and gross, options.

However, the other day I was reading Hello Giggles (which is a great site by the way) and I came across this Blog Post from Ruby Karp.  Ruby is an 11 year old blogger, who was also having a very difficult time finding appropriate costumes to wear this Halloween.  In my opinion, 11 is still a child and in no way ready for a sexy costume.

But the true question is: are we that unimaginative that we are okay with what is presented at the local costume shops.  Maybe it is a case of time (I know that I spent countless hours making our costumes last fall), or money, or just a case of not caring.  However, after a lot of searching, I came across a most awesome site:  TAKE BACK HALLOWEEN!

And maybe that is what we parents need to do - TAKE BACK HALLOWEEN for our children.  I say children because even though there are a lot of sexy costumes for young girls, boys are also inundated with gross, violent, and inappropriate costumes too.  Does that mean we have to make costumes?  No.  But what we should not do is encourage the industry by posting how "funny" something is; or purchasing the "least sexy" option.  Make the industry change for us!

Time to Face the Music

...to accept the truth...


This American idiom stems from the British military. When someone was court marshaled, there would be a military drum squad playing, hence face the music. 

That is simply what I have to do this beautiful autumn day - admit that I fell off the healthy path.  Last week was an emotional one, for a variety of reasons, and we also had a bunch of celebrations to attend.  I take complete responsibility in my weight gain, and plan on using the last week as a lesson.

I have always been one who could not just have one - one drink, one piece of candy, one potato chip, one orange puff, etc.  I tend to get euphoric when I'm eating, which I realize is akin to alcoholism or an addiction to cigarettes.  I know this, and yet it is still so difficult for me to rid my life of events that have food.  I mean, come on!  Am I right?

I felt really beautiful on Saturday at my cousin's wedding.  My hair looked good, I wore a new dress and shoes that seemed to be made for me.  I am awaiting pictures from my father, because I am hoping what I "think" I looked like, and what I "really" looked like match.  I am very skeptical of myself anymore.  After years in a fog, do I trust what I see in the mirror?

Until I get hard evidence, I will simply state that the scale didn't lie - I had gained weight this week.  I am not going to ignore it either.  That gets me in trouble every time.

freedom has a way of destroying things...

I just finished the third book in Scott Westerfeld's Uglies Quartet: Specials.

Each book has given me plenty to think about.  First, Uglies posed the idea of a society obsessed with becoming Pretty.   Then Pretties spoke of how people are simply better without being random - because human nature causes the desire for war and animosity.  Specials went further into the innate human desire for a world controlled by the elite; which interestingly enough used to be run by the rich when the Rusties (basically us) were around.

Yes, us = the Rusties who use metal machines, go to war, and run the world on egos and money.  It really made me think about the world we live in.  Our children are worried about their appearances, the 1% runs everything, and the rest of the world is in limbo waiting to be blown away.

I don't want to go into detail, because that would simply be giving away the plot (and you have to read the series people!).  But throughout these three books, the reader is introduced to the corporate ways of the Cities, the people who live around the Rusty Ruins, others who live as savages in what is uncovered as an experimental community, and finally another City that does things differently than New Pretty Town works.

In the last chapter of Specials, Tally states that "freedom has a way of destroying things."  These words really hit a nerve with me.  I truly believe that our society takes for granted the freedoms we've been given.  We have the ability to worship whomever we choose, we can speak our minds, we can write blogs like this that aren't censored, and we can become whatever our heart desires.  Of course there are consequences.  However, as a mother I hope I am able to instill the freedoms we have been born with here in the United States.

Books that illustrate a dystopic future oftentimes make one think, especially if the future seems plausible.  To me the best ideas are ones that could happen if we continue down the same road we are currently following.  Each journey we take eventually comes to an end - whether positive or negative.  It is up to us to determine which choices are the best at the time.  Hindsight is 20/20, but perseverance to choose the right path for ourselves is what truly matters.  Here's to making choices that in hindsight make us proud and satisfied.

Halloween Costumes: not so innocent anymore

As a mother of a 6 1/2 year old and an almost 4 1/2 year old, I find myself often appalled at the selection of clothing (especially for the 6 1/2 year old).  For some reason, once you are no longer a toddler the options of clothing turn to street walker.  School shopping was very irritating this fall, because the majority of options at local stores were very inappropriate for a little girl.  I really think fans of Flash Dance influenced designers, because so much of the clothing almost appeared dance costume-like (tulle tutus, off the shoulder shirts, and fish net tights to name just a few).

Speaking of costumes, Halloween is a week from today.  However, in the Martin household, we enjoy participating in a few Halloween activities.  Our annual visit to Hallowe'en at Greenfield Village was Sunday evening, and it did not disappoint.  Both girls had determined they would be versions of Smurfette: Evie, the demure, blond lassie and Zoe, the evil, brunette created by Gargamel. 

Evil on the left, Good on the right

However, last Wednesday evening, a VERY tired Zoe shared that she no longer wanted to be Evil Smurfette.  Okay, I said.  Then she began to explain the costume she would prefer.  Pretty much, I determined she wanted to be the guy from the Scream movies.

Zoe's new desired costume

My answer was an unequivocal NO!

Apparently last year there were children dressed in this costume who came trick-or-treating at our home.  Scream is a rated R movie, yet Party City has the mask as their mascot.  Each time we go to Kroger or a local eatery, Holiday Grill, Zoe is reminded of that scary mask. 

After a good night's sleep, and my explanation that she had to choose from something we already had in our home, Zoe settled for a witches costume donated from their babysitter, Hannah.

I still couldn't get the idea of a 6-year-old wanting a costume from a movie she couldn't even see.  Why this desire for a non-age appropriate costume?

I realize that All Hallow's Eve was not intended to be a holiday for children trick-or-treating.  However, that is what it has been for quite some time.  When I was a little girl, most people made homespun costumes.  If they were lucky, like me, they had a mom who sewed.  Most of my friends had plastic/garbage bags with a plastic mask purchased at KMart or other retailer.  However, nowadays there are tons of options for the treat-goer...and many are completely inappropriate for children.

Halloween Express, as well as other Halloween costume companies, start sending catalogs in summer.  I always marvel at the sizes offered in the costumes.  Basically if you are larger than a 4T you are forced into costumes which are very non-age appropriate.  So the assumption is if you wear a 5T (like my Evie) or above you no longer desire to be a cute teddy bear or cuddly zebra.  This is actually why I had to create Care Bear costumes for my girls last Halloween - they only went up to a 2T!

Of course that prude in me shakes her head at a lot of the costumes each year.  Here are some of the ones that offended because they were available in sizes for my girls:

Pink Leopard (i.e. street walker with kitty ears)

Every little girl needs fish nets, right?

Covered: Yes; Illusion that she isn't? Yes

I wish i had taken a picture of a young girl's costume at the village on Sunday.  My mother said, "Oh my!  She is a bar maid...what a lovely costume...sigh."  And though it looked like this costume (which is available in adult sizes online):

my biggest jaw dropper was that her mother was right there clicking the camera like all other parents.  So am I making too big of a deal out of this?  Yes the girl was probably 10, and maybe she fit in an adult costume.  But what happened to non-slutty costumes? 

I will now step of my soap box and say a prayer for our ever-deteriorating society.  Amen.

Tween Lit: My New BFF

After my last read, Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children, I was afraid to return to historical fiction.  So, I went to the library and checked out the second book in the "Uglies" quartet: Pretties, by Scott Westerfeld. 

I read the first book, Uglies, earlier this summer, but became occupied with other reads following.  So I let my hold for Pretties at the library expire.  However, I just couldn't get the story out of my head...and I wanted to know what happened with the characters.  All it took was two days (yeah, I got involved) to complete the book.  And now?  Yeah, I have myself on the library list for the next book: Specials.

The "Uglies" quartet transports the reader to a dystopic future society where physical perfectionism is key.  This idea of a dystopic future is also present in my other favorite author: Shirley Jackson (to whom I own most of her novels and short stories). 

Tally Youngblood is an Ugly obsessively waiting her 16th Birthday, which will bring the much anticipated Pretty operation.  However, just days before her surgery, Tally gets a new roommate: Shay.  Shay does not want to be Pretty and runs away to the Rusty Ruins to find the Smokeys: those who have not had the operation and matured beyond their 16th Birthday as Uglies.  When Tally is picked up for her surgery and sent on a mission from the Specials to retrieve Shay, a journey to knowledge begins.

Pretties starts where Uglies leaves off, and I don't want to give too much away.  Lets just say that Tally is back in the City and she must leave again to regain a more "bubbly" brain and not the "pretty" one that is clouding her thoughts.

These books are not high literature, but captivating all the same.  Scott Westerfeld truly takes you on a suspenseful journey with believable characters and what could happen in our beauty-focused society.  Westerfeld also is very cleaver with how he illustrates situations.  For instance, he never has the characters swear, but rather says, "Tally swore."  It allows his wonderful sci-fi story to be shared with a tween audience, since there isn't worry about adult language or situations (i.e. there is heavy kissing, but no sexual encounters).  Even though there is an absence of language and mature content, I was still sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to see what would come next.

I definitely recommend this book for a tween, teen, and adult audience looking to be swept away for a few days!

Who wants to be a Jr. Tattoo Artist?

It's almost too easy to add this above toy to my recent Soap Box Parenting blogs.  Most recently it was regarding two little girls and their horrified faces promoting make-up for children (click here to read).

Here is the description of the above toy, which is appropriately called: Electronic Temporary Tattoo Studio.

Awesome Tattoo Art! Kids get the look and feel of real tattoos as they create awesome, washable body art with a pen that pulsates like a professional tattoo artist's! Electronic Temporary Tattoo Studio includes wrist-cuff power pack and pen, 12 interchangeable markers and 26 rubber stencils of pictures, letters and numbers. Uses 2 AA batteries (sold separately). Ages 6+.

The tagline for the Tattoo kit is: Awesome Tattoo Art!  However, on the following page there is a beginner guitar with the tagline: Start 'em Young!  Honestly, that is how I feel about the Tattoo Kit.  Really, a pulsating pen?  Is that necessary?  Because I have 5 tattoos and none of them felt like a pulsating pen (which honestly makes me think of a vibrator).   It wasn't like getting a ton of shots, as I really despise that.  However, it also wasn't something I want to share with my children.

I am almost starting to feel like a prude.  And honestly, I really am not.  When I was in college I had 5 ear piercings in my left ear and 3 piercings in the right (when I worked in the business world I removed 3 of these to look more professional).  I have tattoos, and I'm not finished with putting art on my body.  And yes, my hair has been a variety of colors, including blue and purple.  But all the piercings (besides my first and second holes) were done after I turned 18.  What I like to consider the "experimental" time in most people's lives: college. 

I suppose, for me at least, 1st grade is not the time to be experimenting with make-up, tattoos and hair color.  Yes, I have seen 6 and 7 year olds with feathers in their hair and highlite hair extensions.  Apparently there is nothing to look forward to anymore.  I had to wait until I was 8 before I was allowed to have my ears pierced.  I had to wait until high school before I had my hair dyed.  And that was only because I put Sun-In (honestly, I cannot believe I found a link on the Internet...I mean, who still uses this crap?) on my hair, sat outside all day, and looked like a crazy clown when it was all done. 

I will admit: my parents were strict.  I had curfews that made me the "odd man out" when it came to staying out past 8pm.  I remember specifically that my friend, Joe, would say, "The streetlights are on, Michelle needs to get home!"  It was funny, but annoying at the time.  However, this was also when I was 16...not 6.

I am starting to think that I am turning into a prude in my old age.  Why are girls wearing make-up to elementary school?  Why are there so many hoochie clothing options for 5 year olds (including pants that show underwear)?  And why do kids need cell phones in grade school?  Really?  Sigh.

I want to be peculiar!

After reading Fairy Tale Mama's Review on Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, I knew I had to read this book!


I have been reading a whole bunch of duds lately, and honestly, I have not really wanted to blog about them.  However, this gem did not disappoint!


This is a book that would be ruined by too much information...however...


I loved the relationship between Jacob and his grandfather.  His grandfather who is a wonderful storyteller and collector of old pictures of fascinatingly peculiar children.  Jacob spends his young life listening to what he assumes are stories from his grandfather's past. It reminded me of many times I sat down with my own grandfather looking at strange old pictures of his family, and hearing stories of the past.

I was definitely hooked by the first chapter.  It felt all too real to me.  My favorite time period: World War II, a relationship with a grandfather, and strange old photographs.  It was as if this book was written especially for me!  I realize that sounds a bit narcissistic, but I really became engrossed by the plot and was VERY sad the book had to end.

When the book came to a close, I wanted more.  I wanted to be peculiar...I wanted to know these children at the orphanage.  I wanted this tale to be REAL, not just a fictitious story that I simply place on the shelf.  I had to admit, I bought the book.  I have not purchased a book in so long, as the library is my lending friend.  But I HAD to have this book.  I know, it sounds like I'm obsessed...maybe I am, just a little.

One thing I do know: there needs to be a sequel...with or without the smattering of peculiar pictures.  I do think the pictures enhanced the odd tale, but the story had me without the images.  So, Ransom Riggs, if you are out there, PLEASE continue to write about Miss Peregrine and her peculiar children!

A Journey to the Past

Here is the story I wrote for the Museum Guild of Dearborn project.  Hope you enjoy!


A Journey to the Past
Michelle Martin


I love history. Next to music, history is a huge passion of mine. There is no denying my fascination with people and places of the past. This love of history has definitely been enhanced by living in Dearborn, a city richly painted by time. I have lived in Dearborn most of my life. Even though I could write many stories based around my education in Dearborn Public Schools: Snow Elementary, Stout Junior High and Edsel Ford High School and then at Henry Ford Community College, or about my time working at Dearborn establishments: Crowley’s, Greenfield Village, and Ford Motor Company, I will instead focus on one evening spent searching out the locations mentioned in William Nowlin’s book, The Bark Covered House.

One October evening in 2000, my mom (another lifelong Dearbornite) and I took a journey in and around locations described in The Bark Covered House. We had both read the book numerous times, but I wanted to go beyond the story and its pages. We assumed the actual buildings no longer existed, but that did not stop us from immersing into the adventure. I brought along my point and shoot camera, two thermoses full of coffee, and the book with a sticky-note on its map.

Our First stop was The Ten Eyck Tavern, which a historical marker has stood since 1950 on Michigan Avenue. Conrad Ten Eyck was such a character in the story of The Bark Covered House, and he definitely deserved a stop on our journey. Mr. Ten Eyck came to life in the pages of The Bark Covered House, as did other early Dearborn pioneers: Nowlin, Pardee and Snow to name a few. Dearborn now boasts many schools, buildings and roads named after these important men.

My mother and I spent some time picturing what Michigan Avenue would have looked like in the 1800s, and how unfortunate it is that the tavern was not preserved. I imagined it must have been similar to the Eagle Tavern from Clinton, Michigan, which now resides in Greenfield Village. Interestingly enough I worked there from 1993 until 1996 dressed in period clothing depicting 1850.

The next stop on our journey was the location of the Dearborn Arsenal. William Nowlin’s father, John, worked for the government and helped build the arsenal in Dearbornville. Today all that remains is the building Dearborn Music resides and the Commandant’s Quarters. The Commadant’s Quarters is a beautiful mansion built by Leiutenant Joshua Howard, the first commandant of the Arsenal. Luckily the building is still intact. We were not able to tour the building, as it was past business hours. However, I have been able to tour the building many times and did so once again the week after our journey.

Our third stop was to scope out the location of the Nowlin Castle, where William’s parents spent their golden years. Even though it was not much of a castle by today’s standards, the home meant so much to William Nowlin and his family. It stood at the corner of Monroe and Madison, which interestingly enough was next to where I was living at the time: Oxford Village Apartments. I also began to call Monroe, Hardscrabble road, as depicted in The Bark Covered House. Imagining a time when Monroe Boulevard was a dirt road is very exciting, though some of my friends at the time found calling it Hardscrabble a bit strange.


Our fourth stop took us to the site of the Bark Covered House itself. Located by Monroe Boulevard and north of the Ecorse River (which now flows under the roadway), stories surrounding the hard and determined life the Nowlins spent at the homestead are very captivating and engaging as a reader. I also realized I had lived a block from this location for a few months a year prior to this trip. My life in Dearborn had basically been experienced in and around The Bark Covered House, without my even knowing it.

Our fifth, and final stop, brought us to the Nowlin Cemetery located on Van Born Road in what is now on the boarder of Dearborn and Taylor, Michigan. Originally on the southwest corner of the Nowlin farm, the cemetery sits amidst businesses and homes. It was closed, as we expected. However, unlike the other locations that have been plowed over and reassigned, the cemetery still stood. The eternal home for this pioneering family of Dearborn, and the resting place of many of their relatives. At the time, I tried to get access by calling around local organizations that might have entry to the cemetery. However, my hope was never to be.

After moving nine years ago to our current Dearborn home, unintentionally only a block from Nowlin Elementary School, I misplaced the photographs from our journey to the past. I now have two little girls who love to visit The Henry Ford and the grounds at Fair Lane, Henry Ford’s Estate. They love looking at old pictures that illustrate books I have of Dearborn and its history, and when they get older I will encourage them to read William Nowlin’s book. As a teacher and parent, I hope to inspire children to take journeys that are rich with history and imagination. Maybe one day I’ll have the privilege to journey to the past once again.

22lbs, 900 words, and a Partridge in a Pear Tree

I did my weekly weigh in yesterday.  I have successfully lost over 22 pounds since August 1st.  Honestly, it may sound like a lot to some; those who are glass half-full kind of people.  I guess I must be a glass half-empty kind of gal, because I keep looking at the larger number I need to lose.

I haven't lost the fight though, because I have been told I look really good by random people who aren't super close to me.  I do see a difference in my body, which I noticed after I bought new bras last Monday.  I an no longer a D, but I don't really care if my chest measures a C now, because I know I am redefining my body into a more shapely being.  Of course without a trainer, I am stuck to my own motivation; which is not quite as motivating to be honest.  We cannot afford for me to go to more personal trainer sessions, so I simply continue with my four classes per week: RIPPED, Zumba, Aqua Zumba, and either Zumba Toning or RIPPED.

I am also writing a short story/article for a book that will be comprised of 300 Dearborn residents (or former residents).  The article from the Dearborn Press and Guide is here: DEARBORN TALES.

The parameters are: 900 words or less, about Dearborn, and submitted by the 20th of October.  Upon my first attempt I had well over 900 words!  I know I am verbose, but sheesh!  There was probably a point in my life (high school most likely) that when I was told to write a 500-word essay I freaked!  Apparently that isn't the case anymore.  So I have rewritten my article and I will look at it one more time tomorrow before I email it in.

I have to admit that if my story does get selected, I know what Christmas presents will be!  HAHAH!

Promised Relief

I always find it interesting that after you've spent weeks on a project (i.e. play, paper for school, birthday party, wedding) the day after feels like you've been run over by a truck.

Yesterday evening was the culmination of an event I've been co-orchestrating since the beginning of September.  The Promise Tree event is an event that comprises: fellowship, fall society meeting, and fundraiser for our school.  I have attended the event twice before this year; once as a table attendee and once as a hostess.  This year I coordinated the dinner portion of the evening, and I was a hostess.  It was quite a large load to carry.

There were points that I just couldn't fall asleep at night because I was worried there wouldn't be enough seats for all those wanting to attend.  I was also performing a job that, in the past, has been done by an alumni/church member.  I am neither.  I am simply a mom of two students.  I had very little direction, even with the few papers that were passed to me.  It was definitely a "baptism by fire" situation.  One that I will (most likely) never volunteer to do again.

I do enjoy hostessing a table of people (this I will gladly do again).  The decorations, the coordination of "who is bringing what," and the fellowship.  However, I felt that determining who would be where was more daunting than both my weddings!  Seriously!  There were people who would come IF they could sit with a certain person (or couple), and there were others who didn't especially want to sit with other people not in their circle of friends.

Of course, there was also the initial confusion with the number of people a round table could accommodate.  I was originally told tables of 10.  In fact, my table last year had 10 people squished around it; I even checked the records and they proved I had 10 at the table.  I suppose we must have been awfully uncomfortable, because 9 chairs barely fit this year.  So after the initial 11 tables, I had to rearrange people and make 12 tables.  Most had 8, some 9 and there was one 10 that used two rectangle tables together.  I will never get those Sunday evening hours back...oh well.

My biggest regret is that I was so consumed with making sure everyone was happy, I never took a picture.  Not of my table beforehand nor the room.  It was a beautiful patchwork of tables in a simple basement of a church/school.  The fact that I had to work all day today - taught from 9:30 to 4:30 - definitely added to my overall exhaustion.  I may just have to skip church in the morning, and have Jim take the ladybugs.  I may just sleep in.  I won't hold my breath.

What a scream...

Back in April I posted a blog regarding the new make-up line for young girls (Click Here), and I almost spit my coffee out when I saw the mail this afternoon.  The two girls on the cover of the current Toys To Grow On catalog, found above, were open mouthed (delighted I supposed) and over made up.  It was, well, hilarious and disturbing all at the same time.

Has this image of girls ALWAYS been present in my lifetime?  Am I just now noticing the ridiculous imagery of young girls because I am now a mom of two young ladybugs?

I just cannot get over the girl with the ridiculous amounts of makeup caked all over her beautiful little face.  Or maybe I'm just being a prude.  Dunno.

What I do know is this: I took the magazine, and recycled it prior to letting either child get a look at it.  What a sad representation of a little girl.

Top 2 Choices

There were two winners regarding the poetry contest voting that took place:  The Grocery Store and Polka Party.

In case you don't remember which ones were which....

The Grocery Store
I stand up on my tippy toes
Up high, so I can see
The cash register and counter top
With all the groceries.
There are apples and bananas,
Avocado, eggplant too,
Lettuce, celery, and tomatoes,
Green beans and beef for stew.
Each item gets a chance to pass
Beside a small red light,
We get to choose which bags to use
I watch to my delight.
The cashier takes the money owed
Returns to us the change,
Our shopping cart is piled sky-high
Just like a mountain range.

Polka Party
Papa plays accordion,
He oom-pas all day long.
Grandma starts in clapping,
And I, I sing a song.
Dancing two-four rhythms,
The “squeezebox” bellows blow.
Then grandma takes my hands,
And ‘round and ‘round we go!

Now the big question is: Out of these two, which one stands out?

Here is the verbiage from the contest (in case you were curious what exactly I am entering the poem for):

Children's Writer Poetry Contest
Specifications: Submit a single poem, collection of poems, or verse story for children of any age, to 300 words.  Entries may be serious or humorous, and take any poetic form.  Winners will be selected based on quality of verse - including rhythm, meter, word choice, word-play, imagery, and the use of other poetic devices (thyme, alliteration, assonance, or others).  Above all, the winning entries will have appeal for young readers.

So put on your thinking caps and let me know the winning entry!

The 58th day

After almost two months, I have lost approximately .334 pounds of undesired fat per day.  HA!  I know, a bit over the top.  But honestly it's fun to see where I started and where I currently am.  Not every day is a glowing success, but I am definitely finding my health groove.

I have continued with 3 classes a week at Elements of Exercise (Monday, Wednesday, Friday mornings) and 1 evening class at a local pool (Thursday).  I have planned on attending a Saturday morning class for the last two weeks, but I am just not motivated to go to bed early on Friday night.  I would rather spend a bit more time with my husband watching what we've taped on our DVR.  So I think I've made a good trade. 

One thing I have eliminated from my morning supplements is my daily 1 TBS of apple cider vinegar.  No, not because it tastes bitter and horrible, but because I started to get horrible acne on my shoulders, chest, back and arms.  However, most of the research that I read online stated positive acne results when apple cider vinegar was used daily.

I definitely cannot claim that I never have ever had acne on my body, but after a month of the Braggs Apple Cider Vinegar I was really having problems.  I stopped a week ago, and my acne is all about gone.  I also do not notice a change in my anxiety (i.e. I am having problems with anxiety from eliminating the vinegar).  So in my humble opinion, my body does not like the TBS of vinegar.  I will simply save the vinegar for my salad dressings.  I did find THIS SITE, which talks about why vinegar doesn't really help acne.

I am still enjoying my ability to fit into the smaller size of clothing (I also brought out my large tops and packed the XLs away), and I have more energy and am very positive I can lose another 22 pounds by the new year.  I really want to see 199 before January 1st, 2012.  Just a small goal, but a huge step in the right direction for me.

The walls of trust

One of the most challenging aspects of technology is determining when to use it and when it is more appropriate to utilize another method of communication.  I am a proponent of blogs, Facebook and the Internet to share information and interesting quips.  However, I also am skeptical of how people use the information that is shared.

Last week I experienced betrayal of the technology kind, and I must say I was very taken aback by the behavior AND I have also become very cautious to whom I share information. 

My oldest daughter, Zoe, has been experiencing difficulties with transitioning from Kindergarten to 1st Grade.  It became apparent after our cat, Mia, passed a couple weeks ago.  Zoe cries when I drop her off to school in the morning.  I am not worried at all, because when I pick Evie up after preschool I peek in at Zoe and she is perfectly engrossed in her daily work.  Her teacher, who I absolutely love, assures me that Zoe stops crying within a minute or two of my leaving. 

However, last Tuesday morning around 10:45am I received a call from the school.  It was Zoe's teacher letting me know that Zoe seemed to be sick.  She was doing a lot of blowing of her nose, and she wasn't acting like her usual self.  So reluctantly I picked her up.  I didn't think she looked sick, but her nose was plugged due to her allergies.  I brought her home, took her temperature, gave her sudafed and ibuprofen, and asked her what the REAL problem was.  Zoe started crying and admitted that she just wanted to be home with Evie and me.

I took a deep breath and told her to spend some time in her bedroom while I prayed about how to handle her behavior.  I decided to keep her home, do the work her teacher sent, and prevent her from any fun activities (TV, playing outside, etc.).  She also was to apologize to her teacher.  I was flabbergasted, so I stupidly posted this on my Facebook status:

Was called to pick Zoe girl up from school this morning. Granted she did have a stuffy nose (sudafed and ibuprofen quickly worked to clear that up), she also admitted wanting to be home with me and Evie. She feels really bad for lying, and plans on doing a bit of apologizing to her teacher tomorrow. 30 minutes after being home, she wanted to go back. She was informed this will not happen again.

A few people commented, as oftentimes they do.  And most were great supportive thoughts and suggestions.  On Wednesday morning, one of our lovely rainy days here in Michigan lately, I took the ladybugs to school.  The kids were in the atrium at the school, so I dropped Zoe off and took Evie into her class.  After I left Evie, I saw Zoe walking down the hall to her classroom bawling.  Not just crying, or tearing up (they way she was the day before)...but barely able to catch a breath.

After calming her down a bit, I found out that one of her boy friends was teasing her and calling her a liar and a faker.  The rest of her classmates heard him, and Zoe was hysterically embarrassed.  She couldn't understand how he knew.  I knew how he knew: his mom read my post from the day before and somehow shared it with her son. I say "somehow," because I don't want to assume how or why she told him, nor do I think it was done maliciously.  Zoe and I shared her bullying experience with her teacher, and I left to go home.  Zoe came home after school sharing that said boy had a behavior card sent home.  I do believe the teacher appropriately handled it.

That being said, I felt horrible that I shared information on my daughter to only be thrown back in her face the following day.  She already felt guilty about lying to come home, and she was facing the truth in her heart as it was.  Then she had to deal with teasing from her piers as a result of my Facebook post.

Another friend of Zoe's also teased her that day about going home from school; interestingly enough her mom is also a Facebook friend.  However, this friend and Zoe are best friends so Zoe didn't tattle on her.  At least that is my observation.  Zoe did state that she was reassured a few others were still her friends, and that made my heart smile for her.  I had such friend issues in school (especially grade school), that I oftentimes project my hurt on her situations.  Not verbally, but internally.  

At this point, I have no intention of approaching the mother of the boy who started the teasing.  Why?  Mostly because I have no desire to start a dramatic situation.  I should never have posted anything about Zoe on Facebook, that was in my control.  The mom cannot control her child's behavior at school.  Therefore, I will simply let this one pass.

However, I have learned a lesson from this event: never ever post personal things on Facebook. 

Night Road

Not too long in the recent past, I read a wonderful story called, Winter Garden. 

Winter Garden immediately drew me in, and Kristin Hannah's writing style made me laugh and cry.  My mother-in-law suggested I read Winter Garden, and at first I was a bit skeptical because there seems to be a happy ending syndrome to selections from her.  But Winter Garden was different from her usual "you have to read this, Michelle" selection.

I don't want to give away any of the story, but I will tell you I did not see the twists and turns like I usually do with my mother-in-law's selections.  If I start to describe the book I will give too much away.  It was a super quick read for me, and a very cathartic ending.

So, when she brought over Night Road a couple weeks ago I was really excited to read it.  

I don't care if you choose to pick this one up.  Not because it was horrible - I finished reading it.  But because it was nothing like Winter Garden.  Two completely different stories, and it felt like two completely different writers.  Now sometimes, as an author you want to illustrate your ability to convey various styles of writing.  However, in this case, I was constantly saying, "really?"

Night Road is told from two points of view: Jude and Lexi.  Jude is an over-bearing mom with twin high schoolers, Zach and Mia.  Lexi befriends Mia and falls in love with Zach.  Lexi is a product of a foster-care system.  Her mother was a drunk and a drug addict.  Lexi is from the "other side of the tracks" so-to-speak.  The book skips and jumps a few times, and honestly it gave me virtual whip lash.  The book spans 10 years in the lives of these characters, and I realize "stuff" must be cut out.  However, I felt it left the reader disjointed.

The book was quite believable until the tragedy happens.  SPOILER ALERT!!!

Lexi, Mia and Zack go to a senior party and on their way home are in a car accident.  Lexi was driving, but it was Zack's car.  Zack and Mia were completely wasted.  Mia dies.  Jude blames Lexi for killing her daughter.  Zack blames himself.  Lexi goes to prison for 65 months, because she refuses to plea not guilty, and Jude refuses to drop charges.  In prison Lexi finds out she is pregnant with Zack's baby.  She gives her parental rights to Zack, because she refuses the baby girl (which she calls Grace) to have the life she did.  Zack's family is rich, so Lexi believes they will give her baby the "right" kind of life.  Then Lexi gets out of prison after serving a 72 month sentence (she got in fights and such), and sees that her daughter, Grace, isn't happy.  In a lovely turn of events Zack and Lexi reconnect and after 6 years of pain, Jude finally finds peace.

Yeah - the book pretty much sucked.

The Bad Rap for Rap

...and where the heck do the Jehovah Witnesses get their article quotes from?

Last Tuesday, Evie and I went to lunch with Bonnie at Panera.  For those of my readers that don't know about Bonnie, you can click here: BONNIE

Months go by, but Bonnie never forgets to get the Jehovah Witness monthly publications in my hands.  She was super excited to get the August Awake! to me, as there was a large section about music.

From other conversations I've had with Bonnie, I know that the Witnesses do not participate in band or choir at school, nor do they actively participate in worldly music programs (i.e. all extra curricular activities non-Witness related).  It was approximately this time last year that I told Bonnie I wouldn't be who I am without music and the opportunities experienced because of my music education.  Music allows me to commune with God, it centers me, and it has provided income throughout my life.

It was a discussion regarding music that ultimately ended our weekly Bible studies.  I give Bonnie credit, she did try to pull the conversation back to other areas the devil influences, but I could not seem to get off the topic of music in a person's life.  According to Bonnie, the Witnesses are not told WHAT to listen to (i.e. a certain artist or band) because that would be controlling.  They are not controlled like other worldly Christian religions; which to me is so far from the truth.

Last evening I finally had the opportunity to read the four publications she gave me last week (two from August and two from September), and there were a few moments I couldn't stop laughing.

For those that are not aware, the Jehovah Witnesses publish two magazines for the general public each month: Awake!  and The Watchtower.  Both contain quotes from people of all ages, and simply state the person's name and age (e.g. Mark, 21).  The quotes support the statements in the article, and quite often sound like an old man (or men) trying to be relevant to the topic.  One quote that stood out last night was part of a larger story:

 "My teenage years were a blur of alcohol, drugs, and violence," says Ashley 24, "and the music that fueled it was heavy metal and rap.  The profane, hate-filled lyrics and strong, driving beat made me feel powerful.  The music also connected me to my drug-taking friends.  Rappers and heavy-metal bands were our mentors and heroes."
Why I Made Changes - Awake! August 2011 page 7

Personally I know more drug users that listened to The Beatles and Pink Floyd then P Diddy and Anthrax.  In my opinion the above quote could not have been written by a 24 year-old.  It is obviously an attempt from a Witness elder to sound hip.  Here is the last part of the story:

"Today, years later, I still feel drawn to heavy metal and rap.  So I avoid them as if they were addictive drugs.  Now I enjoy many other kinds of music, including ballads, easy rock, and some classical.  But the best thing is that I am in control."

Jim laughed as he read the end of the story and said, "Easy rock?  What is that?"  I laughed, and then replied that it probably includes songs from Hall and Oats, Huey Lewis and the News or Air Supply.  None are very current...and none are rock.  After a bit of research I found this compilation CD:

As in every aspect of life, music may contain suggestive content.  However, I do not believe that music (or video games or movies) directly cause someone to do drugs or to act malicious towards other people.

But the hilarious fabricated quotes don't end there.  Another example was in an article regarding the act of sharing information on the Internet: 

"A Christian elder spoke to me about my profile picture," Kate 21 says, "and I was grateful.  I knew that he wanted to protect my reputation."
What Should I Know About Social Networking? - Awake! August 2011 page 11

I would be completely shocked if elders are actually looking at the profiles of their flock.  Maybe they are, but I cannot imagine feeling grateful that a church elder told me to clean up my profile pic.  

And here is another one that makes me laugh even harder:

"I've had requests from old schoolmates to become their networking friend.  But I did my best in school to avoid that particular crowd; why would I want to be part of it now?" - Alex, 21. 

Schoolmates is such an old person term!  Plus, maybe the "old schoolmates" have grown up and don't participate in the "bad stuff" they were involved with in high school.  Is it really Christian behavior to exclude friends based on the past?

I am not stating that these quotes are impossible, I am merely suggesting the improbability of their validity.  The truly sad thing here is: the Witnesses actually believe there are people writing/saying these quotable phrases.  The brainwashing happens when the elders write these publications and want their flock to take heart at what is presented.  Then the flock believes what is written; after all, why would their elders lie?

Not to be confused with many other crazy statements in their publications (CLICK HERE FOR THOSE), the Witnesses lose all serious consideration on my part when they add the extra quotes from common people. 

On a sad note: Evie and I had a lovely lunch with Bonnie, which lasted only about 45 minutes.  I had nowhere to be, but when Evie had to go to the bathroom Bonnie quickly said we should end our meeting at that point.  She left very scattered and strangely.  I know she loves Evie and I, but her faith is much stronger then our relationship.

In case you were wondering, reader, the Witnesses are not supposed to associate with those not part of the truth (i.e. another Witness) nor those not having an official Bible study.  Their Bible studies aren't just door-to-door hang outs, they have to log the hours, the addresses, the names of those having a study, etc.  It is very official, and our Panera lunch meeting could not have been counted as a true Bible study; a Bible was not even present.  As much as Bonnie shines with the spirit, she must also be conflicted to have a daughter and friends that are not part of the truth.  I know I am sad that we cannot have a "normal" relationship.