The walls of trust

One of the most challenging aspects of technology is determining when to use it and when it is more appropriate to utilize another method of communication.  I am a proponent of blogs, Facebook and the Internet to share information and interesting quips.  However, I also am skeptical of how people use the information that is shared.

Last week I experienced betrayal of the technology kind, and I must say I was very taken aback by the behavior AND I have also become very cautious to whom I share information. 

My oldest daughter, Zoe, has been experiencing difficulties with transitioning from Kindergarten to 1st Grade.  It became apparent after our cat, Mia, passed a couple weeks ago.  Zoe cries when I drop her off to school in the morning.  I am not worried at all, because when I pick Evie up after preschool I peek in at Zoe and she is perfectly engrossed in her daily work.  Her teacher, who I absolutely love, assures me that Zoe stops crying within a minute or two of my leaving. 

However, last Tuesday morning around 10:45am I received a call from the school.  It was Zoe's teacher letting me know that Zoe seemed to be sick.  She was doing a lot of blowing of her nose, and she wasn't acting like her usual self.  So reluctantly I picked her up.  I didn't think she looked sick, but her nose was plugged due to her allergies.  I brought her home, took her temperature, gave her sudafed and ibuprofen, and asked her what the REAL problem was.  Zoe started crying and admitted that she just wanted to be home with Evie and me.

I took a deep breath and told her to spend some time in her bedroom while I prayed about how to handle her behavior.  I decided to keep her home, do the work her teacher sent, and prevent her from any fun activities (TV, playing outside, etc.).  She also was to apologize to her teacher.  I was flabbergasted, so I stupidly posted this on my Facebook status:

Was called to pick Zoe girl up from school this morning. Granted she did have a stuffy nose (sudafed and ibuprofen quickly worked to clear that up), she also admitted wanting to be home with me and Evie. She feels really bad for lying, and plans on doing a bit of apologizing to her teacher tomorrow. 30 minutes after being home, she wanted to go back. She was informed this will not happen again.

A few people commented, as oftentimes they do.  And most were great supportive thoughts and suggestions.  On Wednesday morning, one of our lovely rainy days here in Michigan lately, I took the ladybugs to school.  The kids were in the atrium at the school, so I dropped Zoe off and took Evie into her class.  After I left Evie, I saw Zoe walking down the hall to her classroom bawling.  Not just crying, or tearing up (they way she was the day before)...but barely able to catch a breath.

After calming her down a bit, I found out that one of her boy friends was teasing her and calling her a liar and a faker.  The rest of her classmates heard him, and Zoe was hysterically embarrassed.  She couldn't understand how he knew.  I knew how he knew: his mom read my post from the day before and somehow shared it with her son. I say "somehow," because I don't want to assume how or why she told him, nor do I think it was done maliciously.  Zoe and I shared her bullying experience with her teacher, and I left to go home.  Zoe came home after school sharing that said boy had a behavior card sent home.  I do believe the teacher appropriately handled it.

That being said, I felt horrible that I shared information on my daughter to only be thrown back in her face the following day.  She already felt guilty about lying to come home, and she was facing the truth in her heart as it was.  Then she had to deal with teasing from her piers as a result of my Facebook post.

Another friend of Zoe's also teased her that day about going home from school; interestingly enough her mom is also a Facebook friend.  However, this friend and Zoe are best friends so Zoe didn't tattle on her.  At least that is my observation.  Zoe did state that she was reassured a few others were still her friends, and that made my heart smile for her.  I had such friend issues in school (especially grade school), that I oftentimes project my hurt on her situations.  Not verbally, but internally.  

At this point, I have no intention of approaching the mother of the boy who started the teasing.  Why?  Mostly because I have no desire to start a dramatic situation.  I should never have posted anything about Zoe on Facebook, that was in my control.  The mom cannot control her child's behavior at school.  Therefore, I will simply let this one pass.

However, I have learned a lesson from this event: never ever post personal things on Facebook.