The Healing Continues

As our fourth week of homeschooling begins, I am exhausted but extremely thankful I made the choice to remove ourselves from the toxic environment.

There is always hope.  Even in the darkest moments of the school situation, I was able to find beauty.

The parents, teachers, and children at the school were like the flowers in the picture above.  However, as the year progressed, toxic waste was killing each and every one of the uniquely beautiful flowers.  Petals drooped, leaves wilted and once sweet fragrances turned putrid.  The nasty weeds were at every corner, whispering lies into those who were carefully cultivated, turning the other glorious blooms into wilted intruders.  I refused to allow my Ladybugs to lose their bright and blooming minds and spirits indoctrinated into the lies perpetrated by the poisonous soil.

One of the reasons that kept me at the school for so long was that I had created a field trip for the entire school to see an opera.  I have three current private students, and one former student who are all part of the Michigan Opera Theater Children's Chorus.  I thought taking the school to see their opera, The Happy Prince, would be a wonderful experience, especially for those children who would never attend another opera.  When we left the school, Zoebug was upset about the fact we would not be able to see the opera.  However, a dear friend of mine (and mother of the former student mentioned above) was taking a homeschool group to the opera.  And we were able to tag along!

I was so thrilled to see such talent in young people - and so were the Ladybugs.  It was truly a memorable experience.

But it is not just the "field trips" that make homeschooling the right choice for us.  I am also enamored  by the amount of knowledge Evabug is taking in each day.  Her reading has taken flight and her math skills have increased dramatically.  Zoebug is also doing quite well in the less stressful environment of home.  The dull and dreary days of this school year have been replaced with much more happiness and ease of learning.

The biggest downside is that my life is completely focused on them.  I'm not saying the my focus should be elsewhere.  But I very rarely get time alone, as I am with the girls 24/7 now.  With the exception of when I work, they are my everything.  However, I do believe this is where I am supposed to be - with my blooming flowers in the garden of our home.

More Online Homeschooling

Thought I would share our homeschooling days at the Martin household.

We start each day with Journal entries.  Currently we are doing the journal pages from www.graceisoverrated.com.  Then we do math.

I have been teaching Zoebug to multiply by 0s, 1s, 2s, 3s, 5s, and 10s.  I found this really helpful site that has FREE printouts for extra work:

Multiplication Worksheets

I have also had her use a clock face with a multiplier in the middle to work take a different look at multiplication tables.  The clock works well, because Evabug is learning how to tell time.

Evabug is also working on addition, and this site has a way to generate worksheets:

Addition Worksheet Generator

We have been studying poetry, which I thought of before I realized that April is poetry month!

Scholastic has great information for incorporating poetry in the daily school day:

On Monday thru Wednesday we spend time on music after math is complete.  Then we have a quick snack.

After morning snack we spend time on reading aloud and grammar and phonics.  We have also been doing worksheets on poetry.

Poetry Ideas

So far the girls and I have learned about Shel Silverstein and Emily Dickinson.  This week we are studying Robert Frost, who wrote my personal favorite poem, "The Road Not Taken."  His home from Ann Arbor is at Greenfield Village, so we are able to incorporate Frost into Social Studies as well.

We follow the morning studies with a nice long lunch hour (11:30 to 12:30).

We move into silent reading after lunch.  Then time for writing.  Zoebug is currently using the handwriting without tears, and Evabug is working on her printing skills.

Then we spend time on Science and Social Studies.  Thomas Edison has graced our brains for the last two weeks.  Now we are spending time on Mr. Frost.  I thought it apropos to do people who are represented at Greenfield Village, since it is so close.

Science has been rocks and minerals, and we have used a microscope and other tools to research different rocks and minerals.  We plan on making rock candy this week too.

Hope I can inspire others who are not homeschooling to consider the option.

Why Didn't I See It Before?

I have a wall in my basement painted with chalkboard paint.  I have tons and tons of children's books that were purchased before having children.  I have a sick love of planning lessons and researching information.  Why didn't I see it before?

I LOVE HOMESCHOOLING!

Remember when you could make flashing fonts back in the day?  The above would be flashing and dancing and hip-hip-hooraying!

I have found that planning takes patience and preparation, but there is so much awesome stuff online to help out a parent who homeschools.  Here are a couple favorites of mine thus far:

Journal Pages
click here

Book Report
click here

Romanticizing Abuse

When I was a little girl I was in love with LOVE.

The soundtrack of my life was sprinkled with show tunes and love ballads.  I knew one day I would fall in love with a troubled man who would change with my love and support.  Why is this?  Because of Musical Theater and Soap Operas.

Soap Operas
From a very early age I have memories of watching soap operas with my mom, grandma Ardis and grandpa Ray.  Lunch began at 12pm, but at 12:30 Ryan's Hope graced the airwaves on our television screen.  It was followed a half-hour later by All My Children, then One Life to Live, and finally General Hospital.  However, All My Children was my mom's personal favorite, and oftentimes the plot lines would be discussed on the phone or in person with my grandparents.  Why?  Because this was before DVRs, VCRs, and cable television.  How could life exist without "my stories"!

Even if you have never watched an episode of All My Children, everyone has heard of Erica Kane.  By the time I began watching, she was on husband six...or was it seven at that time?  It was all about passionate encounters, and chemistry provoked kisses.  And what little girl would not be in awe of the costume changes and how men were bending over backwards to please Erica?  Well, I can tell you this: I was definitely going to be like Erica.

American Musicals
This blog was inspired by a Facebook status message from my cousin.  She had gone to see Oliver! (a musical based on Dickens's book, Oliver Twist) over the weekend and was appalled by the story line between the leading woman, Nancy, and her abusive boyfriend, Bill.  I know the musical well, and I recall the song, "As Long As He Needs Me".  The leading woman states, "in spite of what you see, I know that he needs me."  And we see him physically abusing her throughout the show.  The only "need" he has is her ability to help him steal Oliver.  But through all of his words and actions, Nancy "knows" he "needs" her and always will.

I brought up the point that there is also an abusive relationship in the musical Carousel.  Interestingly enough, the abusive character's name is also Bill (Billy).  In both cases, the woman is convinced the man is in love with her even though he shows different behavior. Although, in Carousel Bill at least alludes the fact he "could" love Julie, as heard in "If I Loved You."  Regardless, he is not a good guy; maybe one could prove he realizes his wrongs when he is in heaven.  But the point is - the story is the same.

Thoughts For Tomorrow
Yes, there are classic books, television shows, and musicals.  But in some cases I think we as an audience need to make certain classics are to be read, and not seen.  I am in no case suggesting censorship  but I do believe that directors and actors are unaware how a little girl can get captivated by a magical musical world.  This woman knows that years of failed relationships were definitely influenced by what I watched and heard. I certainly hope that I can continue the legacy of loving musicals, without having my girls experience abusive behavior as normal.

The Healing Has Begun

This week the Ladybugs and I embarked on a new journey: homeschooling.

And I have to admit, I was a bit reluctant to even think of being with my girls all day EVERY day.  But the truth is, I absolutely LOVE it.  I would have never thought it would be so satisfying and overall stress-free.

I was able to watch my Ladybugs explore science, engage in conversation about history, further develop math skills, and run and play in our backyard with our new puppy.  Laughter, giggles, and smiles accompanied their overall demeanor, and the healing allowed the stress from the toxic school environment to melt away.

A Mistaken Reason for Leaving
For most of the week after we left the school, I was asked in countless emails and phone messages to reconcile and talk through my issues.  That reconciliation and communication is the "Christian thing to do".  As much as I believe forgiveness is essential for the one who is hurting, trust is something that does not heal by simply hearing, "I'm sorry!"

Some believe my family left the school for selfish reasons on my part, and I would like to address that now.

Since the moment I took the teaching position at the school, my family has undergone stress.  I spent countless nights praying and deep thinking about what I could do to rectify the decision I made.  However, my decision to teach at the school was always for my Ladybugs, so I persevered.  I entered the new year with hope, a cleaning person, and a daughter in therapy for her anxiety.  The challenge work/life balance was definitely a difficult one, but I did feel that I could successfully finish out the school year.

However, immediately there were children talking about how they couldn't wait to attend a new school in the fall (or sooner), and parents were whispering in the hallways.  Then the letter came home with the sad news: the school was closing at the end of the school year.  My family were all saddened by the news, but the saddest part was only to come.

I have written many blog posts regarding the process I took to determine which school situation was going to be best for our ladybugs this fall.  However, doing research and developing a logic-based system proved to simply mask the hurt and anger we continued to feel regarding the closing of a beloved school.  As time went on I was shocked to find how others were acting, and I was also appalled to learn how at least a dozen families were delinquent on their tuition for the school year (some had balances that included passed years as well).  Here us "long time" families were asked to make pledges to get the school passed this "transitional year", while others were not even contributing a dime.

It was also becoming obvious that certain families did 90% of the work at the school, resulting in a huge surplus of parent hours.  Two parent families are required to work 40 hours at the school, and we already had close to 50 hours by Christmas break.  However, there were families who had a huge deficit where parent hours were concerned, and for years these families were never charged a fee for this (even though that was the supposed method of action).  This, and other decisions made contributed to my disillusioned emotions.

Then the blog hit the fan.   Interesting factoid: Our puppy, Maggie Mae, was born on February 22nd, the same day I published this blog:

Not My Child

When I was approached to pull the blog, I thought about quitting on the spot.  However, I felt that I needed to make a logical decision, and one that was best for my entire family.  I gave myself until Easter break.  There were times that I was certain that I would finish out the school year.  However, as time progressed the environment became increasingly toxic.  Evabug began to cry all the time, begging to stay home from school.  Even when I explained how fun school was, she just couldn't return to the little Ladybug she was before.  Zoebug came home with stories about other children and the teasing.  I could see that we were all affected by the death that was happening around us each day.

I believe the decision to leave when we did was the best choice we could make for our ladybugs, and therefore, myself and Jim as well.  Not the other way around.

Moving Forward
I have had people question whether I will homeschool the Ladybugs in the fall, and I simply do not have an answer for that.  I must say that I really love being with my bugs, and I look forward to the path we forge together.  I know that even if it truly wasn't the "Christian thing to do" we have made the right choice to heal as a family.

The Journey Continues

I am often amazed at the doors that open following ones slammed in my face.  And I am happy to report that I believe that is exactly what my family is experiencing this week.

Door #1
The first came in the moment I knew being a homeschool teacher was something I could do successfully.  The Ladybugs and I joined my dear friend, Jill (Aunt Jill), at the Hands On Museum in Ann Arbor.  The girls had such a great time.

At one point, Evabug was looking at a ball machine.  The balls were getting sucked up into the machine, and the idea was that you could feel the air flow.  Evabug has always been fascinated by the machine at the credit union drive up window.  I explained to her that this ball machine was a lot like the machine at the credit union.  There was a mom standing next to the machine with her child and she said to me, "Oh!  I didn't think of it in every day activities!"  The area is called "THE WORLD AROUND YOU," which I would have to think is a place children can experience the science that is around them every day.  And I realized that I could truly be an effective teacher for my ladybugs.  After all, I have been teaching them since they were born.

Door #2
The second door was a doggie door.  For quite some time now the Ladybugs (especially Zoebug) have been asking for a puppy.  In the beginning, Jim was reluctant, and I actually was pretty certain I would not be able to convince in otherwise.  Once a week I spend a bit of time searching online.  During this time Jim agreed to a puppy, but only if it was a lab mix.  I happen to be partial to golden retrievers, most likely because our neighbors had two and we had a golden/husky mix growing up.

Last Wednesday I came across two puppies from a farm.  The people bread lab/golden/border collie mix puppies, and cocker spaniel puppies too.  They currently had two of the lab mix puppies for sale.  Only $100.  It seemed like such a low price, considering the puppies came with a health guarantee.  They were dewormed twice and had their first set of puppy shots.  I contacted the seller, and she was more than happy to post new pictures of the puppies.  I told her we wouldn't be able to make it out to them (they were one hour and 15 minutes away) until Saturday, but that we really wanted one of the puppies.  We spoke the next morning, and I really thought they sounded like a wonderful family.  She even gave me credit for the $50 deposit they require from interested buyers.

So In Conclusion
We were thrilled to bring home little Maggie Mae on Saturday.  She is truly a sweet little girl, and she has added a sense of fun we desperately needed around here.

The Ladybugs just finished their first day of homeschooling, and I am really proud of the work we were able to finish in just 5 short hours.  The doors that have opened have completely surprised me and reassured me that our journey is going to be fantastic!