Go to your ROOM

In two days time (only a few hours actually), I started and completed Room by Emma Donoghue.

This fascinating tale was introduced to me by Fairy Tale Mama. 

I suppose that I found Jack, a 5-year old little boy, a wonderful story teller.  Jack had characteristics that both my girls exhibit: wonder, imagination, inquisitiveness.  I don't think ROOM would have had the same impact if his mother, "ma," narrated the story.

To say too much about this book, I feel I would be giving it away.  I will say this: Jack has never lived outside this 11x11 room, and his ma has been there for 7 years.  Jack was born there, and only knows his ma, himself, and Old Nick (a man that is the bringer of food and Sundaytreats). 

After completing the book, I tried to imagine how everything described in ROOM actually fit into the space.  I must have not been the only one, because there is this lovely little interactive website that lets you see how cramped the ROOM was:

INSIDE THE ROOM

I imagine this book is not for everyone - especially those that cannot see past the odd circumstances of the situation.  There were a few parts that made my stomach lurch, but I suppose that was the intent of the author: I really felt I knew Jack, ma, and ROOM.

I am a bit proud of myself, because my completion of ROOM puts me one schedule for 52 books in 52 weeks!

Fantasy Saga...for real

Okay, so before you start to laugh: yes, I have fallen in love with a fantasy saga!  In April, Game of Thrones begun its reign on HBO.

HBO was my gift to Jim for his Birthday, because he had already read the first four books in the saga (the 5th came out in July) and desperately wanted to see the show.  I was a bit hesitant, because I am not big on the fantasy genre.  However, the first episode had me within the first few moments. 

I must admit, The Song of Ice and Fire, which is the name of the saga Game of Thrones originates, is a FAR cry from my other fantasy experiences: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (I never made it through any of the movies without falling asleep), The Hobbit (I have tried to read this book 3 times with no avail), Dungeons and Dragons, and Magic the Gathering.

The Game of Thrones is a fictional tale driven by real people; not mystical creatures or strange wizards.  My love of Tudor England probably led to my love of the HBO series, and encouraged me to read the saga.  

I was pleasantly satisfied with the The Game of Thrones.  The HBO show was a wonderful representation of the novel, however, the novel also contained more point of view thoughts and feelings of some of the characters. 

My favorite two characters from the HBO show AND the novel are: Daenerys (a beautiful young princess who becomes the queen) and Tyrion (the imp).  I must say that even though the novel presents Tyrion as grotesque and deformed, I could not stop the image of Peter Dinklage out of my head.  And yes, reader, I have a dwarf crush!  HA!

I am looking forward to the next four books that have been published in the saga, as well as the two that are in the works.

Pack up your troubles...

Just finished a great book: The Faith Club.

Due to a rave review on Enchanted Schoolhouse, I checked out this lovely gem from the library.  It was such a heartwarming and thought provoking story of three moms who come together after 9/11 to write a children's book.  Instead, their meetings created a wonderful opportunity for inter-faith studies.

My favorite theological dialogue came on page 205, when Suzanne (the Christian mom) asked her Priest, "So there is a heaven?"

"Maybe we are in it already," Craig sad.  "Maybe we are living with one foot in this world and one foot in the other, but because we are stuck in our bodies, in this space and time, we can't perceive it.  The key is that our belief in eternal life enables us to live differently today.  Heaven is not a reward for faith.  But rather, our faith allows us to see that we're in God's kingdom already and that we should live according to his wishes."

Interestingly enough I found myself identifying with the Muslim mom, Ranya.  Her spirituality and her desire to find the perfect place to worship are completely in line with my own. 

I call myself a Christian, not because I think I am above the other religions in the world, but because I want to live my life and teach my ladybugs the way Jesus lived his life.  I don't care if Jesus married, I don't buy into the "man-made" trinity, I don't care if Jesus even died for our sins (original at that).  What I do think makes Jesus amazing, is his teachings and how he wanted us to be more like God.  To live with God and the Kingdom here on Earth.

Priscilla, the Jewish mom, recounts a sweet story that her father told her about paper bags.  He told her if everyone put their problems in a paper bag and then thew the bags in a pile.  Which bag would you pull out of the pile?  Would you pull out your own?  Even at his death (a difficult bought of cancer), Priscilla's father said he would still choose his own paper bag. 

This story of a paper bag filled with troubles reminds me of a song I learned in Kindergarten. 

Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag
And smile, smile, smile.
Don't let your joy and laughter hear the snag
Smile boys, that's the style
What's the use of worrying
It never was worth while
So, pack up your troubles in your old kit bag
And smile, smile, smile.

Breaking Up is Hard to Do....?

Last Fall I decided that after 15 months of weekly Bible studies with Bonnie, I would tell her I was no longer interested in continuing.  I mentioned this in a a blog from January, but upon rereading the blog I don't think I was very forthcoming with the "break-up" story.

I absolutely HATE confrontation.  So in October I wrote Bonnie a very nice letter telling her that life circumstances were such that I would have to take a hiatus until after the holidays.  Yeah, I know Witnesses don't celebrate holidays, but I also knew that Bonnie would understand my verbiage. 

I then saw her in January for lunch, which she said would simply be "social".  It wasn't.  She brought her Bible.  However, I love her so much...because she was a part of my life for quite some time.  And honestly I really owe quite a bit of my Bible knowledge because of our meetings.  I feel as if I have a very good understanding of scripture (i.e. where to find specific verses), and I know that is due to Bonnie's weekly visits. 

So a month ago she asked if she could stop in and we could look at some scriptures.  I said sure.  She came twice.  Then on Monday she left me a voicemail that (for all practical purposes) broke up with me.  On one hand, no, I do not want to be a Jehovah's Witness.  But on the other hand, I also do not want to go to meetings or to the Convention.  I just don't.  I feel that I would be pretending to want to be there just for her.  And I do not want to be fake in front of someone who I care deeply about. 

Her voicemail was cordial, but she stated that until I want to go to meetings or have a structured Bible study there wasn't much point in looking at scriptures and answering my questions.  She said I could call her anytime, and that she would stop by each month to bring me the magazines.  But I honestly think she is giving me "tough love."  You know...when a parent takes away the fun stuff so the kid will conform to the "correct" way?  Yeah, that is what I felt happened in the voicemail.  She loves me and wants me to make choices that work for me.  However, she also hopes that I chose to come to meetings and the like. 

I have had many friendships in my lifetime.  I had hoped that my friendship with Bonnie wasn't circumstantial, but I really feel as if it was/is.  When I was studying each week and answering the Bible study questions with the "correct" answers (the way a Witness would answer them) I was her special student.  Her BEST student ever!  But maybe I am her biggest student disappointment ever....dunno. 

I may have posted this before, but I guess when a friendship has dissolved I think of it:

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

Then people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

Am I Delusional?

I just finished The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins, due to the book's affect on my dear friend Fairytale Mama.

About 10 years ago I was not happy with my then Lutheran upbringing.  I was in love with my now husband, Jim, and he had heard a great review of The Jesus Mysteries on NPR.  So we bought it, I read it after him, and...well...needless to say I didn't return to church until 6 years ago. The Jesus Mysteries ROCKED my world.  Completely.

It shook the core of my belief system.

However, The God Delusion did not.

I immediately found Dawkins to be self-absorbed and pompous.  He often quotes others that mention his findings and beliefs.  I also was surprised that he stated Thomas Jefferson was an atheist.  He wasn't.  In fact, I own Jefferson's Bible.  Jefferson was a deist.

Okay, back to The God Delusion.  I did "dog-ear" a few pages and did a bit of research.  One of those pages was Dawkins "New Ten Commandments."  I found the list to be very interesting, and very peaceful.  From pages 263-264:

1. Do not do to others what you would not want them to do to you
2. In all things, strive to cause no harm
3. Treat your fellow human beings, your fellow living things, and the world in general with love, honesty, faithfulness and respect.
4. Do not overlook evil or shrink from administering justice, but always be ready to forgive wrongdoing freely admitted and honestly regretted.
5. Live life with a sense of joy and wonder
6. Always seek to be learning something new
7. Test all things; always check your ideas against the facts, and be ready to discard even a cherished belief if it does not conform to them.
8. Never seek to censor or cut yourself off from dissent; always respect the right of others to disagree with you.
9. Form independent opinions on the basis of your own reason and experience; do not allow yourself to be led blindly by others.
10. Question everything

The one "commandment" I most appreciate is: QUESTION EVERYTHING.  Even Dawkins quotes, comments, and ideas.

Another "dog-eared" page was 290, in which a quote from Gary Potter, President of Catholics for Christian Political Action:

"When the Christian majority takes over this country, there will be no satanic churches, no more free distribution of pornography, no more talk of rights for homosexuals. After the Christian majority takes control, pluralism will be seen as immoral and evil and the state will not permit anybody the right to practice evil."

I also found "The Great Beethoven Fallacy" to be rather amusing (pages 298-301).  I really enjoyed how Dawkins illustrated the fallacy of quoted scripture, history, and the like.  It reminded me of when 9-11 happened and there were crazy emails about how Nostradamus predicted the event.  Upon further research the "quote" was taken from two different sections of his work, AND it was misquoted even at that!

Probably the most interesting tidbit in the book was about a "cult" that I had never heard of before: The Exclusive Brethren.

Let me be clear, I wasn't blown away by The God Delusion.  However, I was able to see how it might shake the core of others.

The Road Less Traveled

When I was in high school my favorite poem was The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

I really think I liked this poem because I could dissect it and the language was understandable.  But the other day I was reminded of this poem, due to a Bible study with Bonnie.  We studied Matthew 7.  The scripture from 13 and 14 stood out to me:

Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

Since Bonnie is a Witness, this scripture is proof that those not in the truth are on the "easy" road in life.   Matthew 7: 21 continues:

Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’

Bonnie says she refuses to "give up" on me.  As if I am a lost puppy...but to her I am lost - lost in the world.  I suppose that when you believe all religion is false and the world is only encouraging false beliefs you would be scared for those you love.

I have only agreed to meet with Bonnie because she said she missed us and loved us.  I was naive to believe she would just come and visit without bringing her Bible, new magazines, and conducting a study.  She desperately wants me to see that I am part of the world of wickedness.  That I need to jump on board the Witness Ark to be rescued when Armageddon comes.   

To Bonnie, Armageddon is coming soon - she says withing 25 years.  Her daughter, Dana, said that the Bible clearly states we will not know the time.  For Dana Armageddon could come today or 50 years from now, but she doesn't worry because she is in the Truth.

I would like to think that I did not take the road most others took...but I also don't want to be in the Truth.  Maybe one day I will look back at this blog post and laugh at my stupid self saying, "See how you were SO into the world that you were blinded to the truth?"  But I am almost 100% certain that I could never give up holidays and fantasies (i.e. Santa, fairies, make-believe, theater, music, etc.).

Yes, music is in that list.  One should only sing hymns from the Witness songbook at meetings.  This means no worship songs, and nothing that I really love to sing to God.  If the Truth is the truth and the Earth gets renewed and humans live in harmony (i.e. new system of things) it would be very interesting to hear what people sing.  No rock, no profanity, nothing that doesn't come from the Bible - would there be self expression?

I want it to go on record that I would be able to give up holidays and birthdays and only wear "churchy" clothing (i.e. skirts and pant suits), but not getting to express myself in song would be death for me.  Do I think that Satan has put this thought in my mind and heart?  No. 

So maybe I am part of this system of things: Satan's system.  I will wear my flip-flops, tattoos, sparkly toes, nose piercing (one of these days) and multi-colored hair proudly; singing songs that bring joy to my heart and to others.  Living for today and not worrying about the future destruction of mankind.  If this means I don't get to live with a khaki-colored pant and button-downed shit wearing husband watching our perfect children adorning modest dresses whilst running in the meadows (Little House on the Prairie style) celebrating the truth, then that's quite all right with me.