finding HOPE in the book of Revelation

As always, Bonnie came to visit today.  Jim sat in, which he also did last Wednesday. He promised not to rock the boat, as he is pretty skeptical of EVERYTHING religious based. 

We have been studying Chapter Five, "The Ransom - God's Greatest Gift" in the book "What Does the Bible Really Teach?"  Today there was a paragraph about hope.  The hope for an everlasting life on a paradise earth.  Scripture was given from Revelation 21:1-4:


"And I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the former heaven and the former earth had passed away, and the sea is no more.  I saw also the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God and prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.  With that I heard a loud voice from the throne say, 'Look! The tent of God is with mankind, and he will reside with them, and they will be he peoples.  And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore.  The former things have passed away.'"

Thus, this is where the Witnesses get the "new earth" with the "new system" of things.  Bonnie always makes the studies so warm and inviting.  I never feel as if I'm belittling her beliefs.  Of course, I'm not convinced the book of Revelation is nothing more than an acid trip.  However, the idea of HOPE is very important to me.  I believe that without HOPE we have nothing but sadness and FEAR.

I suppose, like many, I find many odd and disturbing images in the book of Revelation.  But I am determined to find HOPE within the scriptures.  The true meaning of the Greek word is apocalypse, but often is translated as revelation because it is "an act of revealing or unveiling".  The book of Revelation has many interpretations, and some feel it predicts the end times and what is happening right now.

I found this Internet article when searching for the book's authorship:

Understanding Revelation:

An Evangelical Christian theologian, P.N. Benware, describes three approaches that theologians have used to understand Revelation:

	Allegorical approach: The events in Revelation will not happen literally. They are to be interpreted figuratively and symbolically. This approach leads to a great variety of conflicting scenarios.
	Historical approach: Most of the events in Revelation have already happened, perhaps during the persecution of Christians during the reign of Emperors Nero or Domitian before Christianity was tolerated early in the 4th century CE.
	Futuristic approach: This is the approach taken by almost all fundamentalists and other evangelical Christians. The events in Revelation have yet to occur, but are anticipated in our very near future. The end times will unfold exactly as specified when the world as we know it comes to an end. 1

What do I believe?  I'm not completely certain...but I am still interested to learn more.  Mainly I am inspired to continue to look for HOPE in everything aspect of my life.  I would much rather have HOPE than FEAR.

I believe that many religions (yes, Christianity in particular) center their worship and growing congregations on FEAR-based interpretations of scripture.  The idea of a "rapture," to where only the righteous will go to heaven and the rest stay on Earth, bothers me on so many levels.  Why is this earth so bad?  Who destroyed it?  Man.  Why should we ALL get to go to heaven, since we continue to ruin what God created for us?...or more than that, who would worship the 666 guy?  And why do people think Obama is the anti-christ?  But there are so many out there that propagate a FEAR-based point of view with God/Jesus/scriptures/etc.  I can't live like that - in FEAR.

I choose to live in HOPE.  I want my children to grow in a HOPE-based faith...with love and warmth from good people, in a loving community (i.e. church).  I want them to be able to recognize FEAR, and that the FEAR in this world is driven by evil, not by good. I want them to befriend and surround themselves with HOPE-filled others.  And I want them to believe in HOPE, believe that people can be innately good, rather than its opposite.

what if I were Elizabeth?

I cannot begin to comprehend the joy that Elizabeth and Zechariah must have felt when Elizabeth became pregnant with their son, John.  Elizabeth was old and barren; but now God had planted a seed inside her.  So here was Elizabeth, pregnant with a miracle baby.  Jim and I were very lucky and successful in our desires to have children.  With one miscarriage exception, our attempts were divine.

The story continues, as Zechariah becomes deaf and mute.  He questions Gabriel, an angel of the Lord.  Would I have done the same?  If I had tried unsuccessfully for years upon years, and then an angel appears and says that not only would I have a baby, but he would be blessed with the Holy Spirit.  I love the following scripture in Luke 1:16-17:

^"Many of the people of Israel will he bring back to the Lord their God.  And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord."

Of course, Zechariah knows the baby's name will be John and not little Zech.  Waiting for a baby all these years, and then having to obey the commands of the Lord.  I'm sure neighbors thought Elizabeth and Zechariah were crazy to name the baby John, which was not an ancestor name.  But at the baby's circumcision, Zechariah states, "'His name is John.'"

But getting back to Elizabeth...she gets her prayer answered: she is to have a child.  And then Mary, her cousin, becomes pregnant.  Mary, who is a young woman (most believe around 14) and a virgin.  And to pour salt in the wound, Mary isn't just pregnant by Jehovah God; she is carrying his only-begotten son!  What must have Elizabeth thought?

And yet the scriptures do not illustrate an angry and jealous cousin.  Elizabeth was thrilled to see Mary, which is written in Luke 1:39-45:

At that time Mary got ready and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judea, where she entered Zechariah's home and greeted Elizabeth. When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. In a loud voice she exclaimed: "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear!  But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!"

At no point does Elizabeth say, "why couldn't I have born the savior?!"  She doesn't mind that she was "runner-up" in the "pageant".  Her son, John, would pave the way; but instead of getting angry Elizabeth was thrilled to play a role in the life of the Ransom Sacrifice - Jesus Christ.

None of us are as instrumental as Mary, nor as instrumental as Elizabeth.  Elizabeth gave birth to the one that would pave the way, and Mary gave birth to the savior, Christ Jesus.  But would it not benefit me if I focused on my part in the continuous narrative?  No, I am not the mother of Jesus; but I am a child of God.  I can continue to minister and witness to others.  I can teach my children the truths found in the scripture, and the incredible and almost unimaginable sacrifice Jesus performed for the people on Earth.  We were (and in my opinion continue to be) undeserving of Jesus's sacrifice, and yet he willingly died to provide the ransom that was needed for our inherited sin.

Bonnie describes sin like a dent in a bread pan.  When Adam ate of the Tree of Knowledge, the pan became dented.  No matter what ingredients go into the bread, there will always be a dent in the loaf.  Mary was a sinner, she wasn't made from an un-dented pan.  However, Jesus had to be perfect.  Therefore, Jehovah God made a miracle in Mary.  He eliminated the dent!  Jesus still came from the line of David (through his Mother, Mary - as illustrated in Matthew 1), but Jehovah God took away that inherited sin.  What a miracle indeed!

In this season of Christmas, where CHRIST should be the focus, I must be cognizant of my part in the continued narrative of our Kingdom within.  The potential is there...and I must remain focused on the REAL meaning of this season.  I like to think that we give because he gave.  And my, he gave indeed!

the persistence of prayer

Today my church Bible study spoke on Luke 11:5-13 and 18:1-8.  In both parables the characters show persistence to get what they are desiring.  However, the commentator, J. Ellsworth Kalas, missed the point of the parables in my opinion.  He focused on the laughter and humor "Back Side" elements of the parables.  No matter how the parables are read (the group read from a few different versions), we could not find humor in the scripture.

We all concluded that we believe in the power of laughter and the power of prayer, but to put the two together seemed disingenuous.

Jesus shared the model prayer, "the Lord's Prayer," prior to the first parable.  And I believe in these parables he was teaching his disciples a story of the persistence of prayer.  How should we pray?  We should pray and pray often.  Be serious, earnest and fervent when we pray.

Here is the scripture from Luke 11:5-13:


Then he said to them, "Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, 'Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him. Then the one inside answers, 'Don't bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed. I can't get up and give you anything.' I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man's boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs. "So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.  "Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?  Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"


In the same parable (albeit not as long) found in Matthew 7:7 the text is as follows:

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.  Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?  If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

When I was growing up, there was a song called, "Welcome To My World."  I remember it mostly because of Kindergarten.  My teacher, Miss Wetmore (an amazing woman), used to play the song and we sang it as a class.  At the time, I thought it was a romantic song about a man wanting his love to be part of his world.  However, as an adult I realize it is a love song, but one from Jesus to us.  Here are the words:

Welcome to my world
Won't you come on in
Miracles I guess
Still happen now and then
Step into my heart
Leave your cares behind
Welcome to my world
Built with you in mind
Knock and the door will open
Seek and you will find
Ask and you'll be given
The key to this world of mine
I'll be waiting here
With my arms unfurled
Waiting just for you
Welcome to my world
 
I believe the parable from Luke (and Matthew) is talking about praying to be a part of God's Kingdom.  Whether this Kingdom is on Earth or in Heaven.  It is through God that we receive our daily bread - our nourishment.

In the second parable, Luke 18:1-8, Jesus speaks of a widow that desired justice from her opponent.  Widows were second class (or possibly third class) citizens in the first century.  Yet this woman continued her persitence with the judge.

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.  He said: "In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men.  And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.'  "For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I don't fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out with her coming!' "  And the Lord said, "Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off?  I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?" 

Again, I don't see the humor in these scriptures.  However, I do see the beauty in the widows desire for justice.  Even when the judge's answer was no (when he was ignoring her), she continued to press forward in her quest.

In conclusion, I believe Jesus is telling us that when we feel our prayers aren't getting answered, keep knocking...keep asking.  He is waiting with open arms to his Kingdom, and because he loves us he wants each one of us to partake in the Kingdom.  God and the universe is on our side, even when it feels impossible.  I need to truly believe this if I am to have complete faith in the Lord.

what if I were Mary

This week's daily devotionals centered around Mary.  It made me wonder, what if I were Mary?

In Luke 1:36-38, Mary says, "Behold I am the handmaid of the Lord.  May it be done to me according to your word."

The commentary stated that Mary didn't say, "'This is wonderful.  Of course, I'll do it."  Instead she was saying, 'This isn't what I had planned, and I'm not sure I understand, but I"ll do my best to do what the Lord wants.'"

Do I believe this?  Can I truly say I am a handmaid of the Lord?

Simply accepting that things happen and I cannot control everything is such a huge deal for me.  One of the purposes for my journey is to let God direct my life, rather than feeling responsible for everything that comes my way.

The narrative continues with the greeting of Elizabeth and Mary.  These cousins are both pregnant with the seed from God.  In this passage, Elizabeth speaks the first beatitude in Luke's Gospel "Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled."  

According to research, the Greek word "blessed" means "inner happiness."  Mary is happy - she said, "yes," to God and trusted that he would lead her to peace.  I am very touched by her genuine trust and love of the Lord.  Do I have that same trust?

I also was fascinated to learn that a church in the village of En Karem (Church of the Visitation) has the Magnificat written in 41 languages on ceramic plaques.  What is the Magnificat?  I also wondered.  So I looked it up.

The Magnificat is from Luke 1:46-55.  It is a beautiful song that Mary sings to Elizabeth, her cousin.  Here is the English translation of the Magnificat:

My soul doth magnify the Lord.

And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.

Because he hath regarded the humility of his handmaid;

for behold from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.

Because he that is mighty,

hath done great things to me;

and holy is his name.

And his mercy is from generation unto generations,

to them that fear him.

He hath shewed might in his arm:

he hath scattered the proud in the conceit of their heart.

He hath put down the mighty from their seat,

and hath exalted the humble.

He hath filled the hungry with good things;

and the rich he hath sent empty away.

He hath received Israel his servant,

being mindful of his mercy:

As he spoke to our fathers,

to Abraham and to his seed for ever.

Maybe the reason I didn't know about the Magnificat is because I'm not Catholic.  But once I read the words, I knew they would have been set to song.  And I wasn't disappointed.

As I conclude this blog entry, I will simply state that I want to believe in Jesus's other name: Emmanuel.  Emmanuel, which means God with us.  Do I feel His constant presence?  Or at this time of year am I more concerned with the presents?

my visit to the Kingdom Hall

Today I attended a meeting at Bonnie's Kingdom Hall.  Yes, they are called meetings, not services (nor mass, obviously).  The meeting was as follows:

Song from songbook (accompanied by canned piano music)
Prayer, lead by an elder brother
Talk given by Brother Erickson called, "The Resurrection Hope"
Song from songbook
Watchtower discussion (from study edition)
Talk given by Brother Erickson called "Receive God's Spirit not the Worlds Spirit"
Song from songbook
Prayer

When I entered the Kingdom Hall, I was immediately greeted by Bonnie.  She proceeded to introduce me to a ton of people, and show me around the Kingdom Hall.  What does a Kingdom Hall look like?  Basically it looks like a place of study, a college.  The building was a Pentacostal church, and in 1997 the Witnesses purchased the building and completely gutted and decorated.

The main room has a bunch of folding chairs.  They face a stage.  On the left side is a indoor, decorative fern.  Next to the fern is a table with two chairs (similar to a table in an apartment).  Above the table is a Bible verse: Acts 20:24, "However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." 

Then in center stage is an arch with curtains and a podium.  The podium is where those speaking stand.  On the right side of the stage was a living room set.  A couch, chair, table and picture above the couch.  The furniture was VERY nice - gold adorned.  Another fern stands on the right side of the stage.  And there ya have the main lecture room. 

They have many classrooms, and I don't believe there were windows in the entire building.  There is a kitchen and an office.  I also found out that their meetings occur at 1pm because another group of Witnesses come from 9:30 am until 12:00.  They share the place and each year switch the time of the meetings.  In 2010 the Cherry Hill Witnesses (Bonnie's group) will switch to 9:30am. 

I was very intrigued and captivated by Brother Erickson's talk titled, "The Resurrection Hope."  It was a wonderful commentary on why Christians should believe in a resurrection.  Three main reasons he states are as follows:

1) Free us from morbid fear of death
2) Loyal endurance (Timothy 6:12) "Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses."
3) Courage to do God's will, by keeping our integrity

Brother Erickson spoke of how death is only sleeping.  That only a loving God would make hope of an "after life" possible. Therefore, he would not let us down.   Since Jesus was always with God, the three days he was in sleeping death were very lonely for Jehovah God.  Brother Erickson put a very interesting twist on the resurrection story.  He also stated that Jehovah's purpose was NOT for humans to die.  In fact, "death was the penalty (of Satan screwing things up in Eden), not the purpose of God," Erickson stated. 

During the Watchtower discussion there were male members that carried microphones around.  As each question was posed by an Elder Brother using the podium, an audience member was selected and a microphone placed in front of their mouth.  It was a bit like a reality TV show.  Since all witnesses are in attendance in the Kingdom Hall, quite often little ones answered the questions.  There were people of all ages and races at the meeting.  The Watchtower discussion used a different Watchtower.  It is called the study edition, and it is separate from the publication that is passed out to non-witnesses.  It is much more in depth, and similar to my Wednesday Bible studies with Bonnie.

The Watchtower discussion article was titled, "Do You Value What Jehovah Has Done To Deliver You?"  The article illustrated many ideas regarding sin and that death is NOT natural.  We were not meant to die.  Jehovah God created man to live forever, as the care takers of the Earth.  So when people say an older person died of natural causes, they are missing the point.  Death isn't natural.

Merkilee, one of the Witnesses that has accompanied Bonnie at my Bible studies, made a great comparison of diseases.  She said that people line up and wait in line for a crazy amount of time for the H1N1 vaccine.  The rate at which one gets H1N1 is well under 80%.   More like 50%.  And most survive.  But people still feel compelled to be assured that they don't get the illness. However, the genetic defect: sin, is not taken as seriously.  And there is a 100% rate of getting this disease.  All have sinned (Romans 3:23), therefore, all will die.  Merkilee questioned why people aren't lining up outside of the Kingdom Hall to hear the truth.  For in the truth is the cure.

I was rather surprised at the participation the young people provided.  Little ones (3 and up) were answering questions.  They participated in the entire meeting (1 hour and 45 minutes).  I just can't imagine my girls doing the same.  Of course they spend only 15 minutes at church, and then attend Sunday school. 

Then Brother Erickson returned to the podium and spoke on, "The Spirit of the World versus the spirit of God".  Three ways we can see the spirit of the world in our lives today:

1) Satan influencing entertainment industry
2) Greed and materialism
3) Rebelion against Bible principals

The big question was, "are we slowly becoming poisoned by the spirit of the world?"  Brother Erickson was very good at illustrating the above points, and how they effect our lives today.  I am greatly moved by the ways of the world and how they influence our children.  I am disgusted at the entertainment that is available on TV and in movies these days.  In fact, our girls have never been to a movie because Jim and I like to make sure they only view certain shows.  I am also concerned with what other children are exposed to, and how it will effect my girls. 

He had us read 1 Corinthians 2:1-4, which states:

"When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God.  For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.  I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling.  My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so what you faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power."

Then in verse 12, "We have not received the spirit of the world by the Spirit who is of God, that we may understand was God has freely given us."  And again in 14 and 15:

"The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually dis-concerned.  The spiritual man makes judgments about all things, but he himself is not subject to any man's judgment.  'For who has known the mind of the lord that he may instruct him?'  But we have the mind of Christ."

How do we cultivate the holy spirit?  Brother Erickson said the following:

1) Pray to Jehovah
2) Read and Study Jesus Christ, asking, "What Would Jesus Do?"
3) Doing what Jehovah would want

The "spirit of the world" is so influential, it has become an instinctive behavior.  It is in the air.  Brother Erickson said it takes time to learn a new diet (i.e. filing our bodies with the holy spirit), so we need to take the time necessary to do what Jehovah would wish.  We also must be humble, as noted in James 1:22.  "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says."  We need to fill our lives with the Holy Spirit so that we aren't influenced by the spirit of the world.  God's spirit can provide the morals and values needed to give us a foundation that is critical in warding off the spirit of the world.


Brother Erickson concluded the meeting with a song and a prayer. 

My brain hurt at the end of the meeting.  It felt like a college lecture course.  But I must admit I thouroughly enjoyed the meeting.  I was happy to feel comfortable and genuinely accepted.  I told Jim that the people there reminded me of our church.  They are a small congregation (100 members) that all know each other.  Members introduced themselves to me, and genuinely seemed to be interested in who I was.  They were very loving and caring...not to mention people with great senses of humor!

I will probably join on a week that the speaker isn't a "big wig" in the community.  Usually the Watchtower is discussed much longer than we discussed it today.  I felt very welcome, and I am thankful that I had the opportunity to experience something different.

am I willing to risk it?

This past week at Bible study, we discussed the parable of the pearl, from Matthew 13:45-46.

"'Or, God's kingdom is like a jewel mrchant on the hunt for excellent pearls.  Finding one that is flawless, he immediately sells everything and buys it.'"

In this parable, Jesus speaks about a mechant that doesn't care about the price of the pearl.  In "More Parables from The Backside" Kalas states, "When he hears the price, great as it is, he doesn't even try to negotiate.  He knows the pearl is worth everything the dealer asks.  Indeed, for this man who has been seeking just such perfection, the pearl is worth more than the asking price.  He must have it!"

Is the Kingdom of God a risky business these days?  The Witnesses believe so.  Bonnie will tell me of the people that think she's in a cult.  Or those that degrate what the Witnesses believe.  She said she doesn't have friends that are not Witnesses because people don't understand her beliefs.  So to the Witnesses, believing in Jehovah's Kingdom is risky.  But it is a risk they WANT to take.

Whether you believe in the Kingdom of Heaven or Jehovah's Kingdom on Earth, I believe it is a leap of faith.

I was speaking to a friend of mine yesterday, via Facebook.  He is an Athiest.  I had posted an article about Darwin from NPR.  It was in regard to his "Origin of Species."  The book still is controversial today.  This friend of mine said he was surprised people didn't believe the evidence.  I wrote and said I am a Progressive Creationist.  I believe a higher power created the world, but there has also been evolution of some species due to environment and technology.  However, there isn't a fossil record that proves we all evolved from nothing, nor a single-celled animal.

My friend said that with our new fossil dating mechanisms, it is only time before all fossils are dated and evolution is completely proven beyond a doubt.  I said that it's interesting he is an Atheist, because he believes in something...maybe not a higher power, but he has faith in scientists.  I told him I would rather have faith in God than man.  Man has really screwed up things around here, why have faith in him?

But do I believe that the Kingdom of God is a great pearl?  Am I willing to be unpopular with people, and choose what feels right over what others might think is right?  God took a risk.  He risked the life of His only begotten Son for the chance that man might have the potential to receive everlasting life.  If He can take the risk, can't I?

Chaos is what Jim calls it.  Life is full of chaos.  Some people are lucky, others not so much.  I just found out this morning the son of my dear friend, Pat, is in a medical induced coma for liver failure.  Rick is only 40.  He has suffered liver problems after his time in the Gulf War, and the coma has been induced to understand why the liver is failing.  Last Thursday, baby Adrianna passed after her 10-day life with severe brain injuries suffered at birth (the baby I spoke of in my last blog).  My piano student, Samantha, lost her grandpa after routine back surgery last Friday.  He suffered a heart attack (90% blockage) after a successful back surgery.  However, he was too weak for open heart.  So during the angioplasty proceedure he passed on.  Samantha's mother now thinks the back problems were caused by his heart problems.  Chaos, or purpose?

The Witness believe God's purpose is to have His Kingdom on Earth.  Where man lives in an Earthly paradise: no sickness, living forever, no worries, etc.  Other Christians believe there is a Heaven.  A place we go upon death.

I believe in God.  I believe in a power greater than man.  I believe man was created as the care-takers of the Earth.  However, unfortunately man wants to be God.  He wants to make things better.  But if God created the Universe and said it was "good", why does man believe otherwise?  I also believe God Almighty has a purpose in this Universe of His.  What is the purpose?  Witness say it is the Kingdom.  What do I believe?  I don't know what that purpose is.  But I do believe more and more that God is a loving God.  He wants us to make the right decisions, but has given us free will to decide for ourselves.  There is not destiny for each one of us, because then free will wouldn't truly exist.  But I also believe in luck (chaos).  Of course that doesn't mean I'm not torn up over death.  I don't think I'll ever feel differently about it.

my thoughts

I have such a hard time with infant death.  It seems to be so unimaginable.  How could a loving God do this?

I bring this up because I know of a baby currently on life support.  The mom did EVERYTHING right during her pregnancy.  The baby was healthy in mom.  Then a traumatic birth sent the baby in direst.  She has been on life support for over a week now.  At this point a miracle needs to take place.  The mom just lost her mother only a couple months ago, and she has had a very hard life.  She has lupus and a blood clotting disorder, amongst other problems.  She wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant, but she did.  And these problems had nothing to do with the baby's current condition.  How could a miracle conception lead to a baby that needs a miracle to live?  How does that work?  

Bonnie would say that God watches the world.  That he allows Satan to create chaos, and man to make his own decisions.  Basically, there isn't a reason (a greater purpose) to the infant dying.  In fact, the only overall purpose God has is to create his Kingdom on Earth; and everything else is just chaos and luck.  That until the "new system" we are going to live in chaos and evil possibilities. 

There is a verse in the Bible that she pointed out to me last week, Ecclesiates 9:11.

"The race is not always to the swift,
Nor the battle to the strong,
Nor satisfaction to the wise, 
Nor riches to the smart, 
Nor grace to the learned.
Sooner or later bad luck hits us all."

But even if it is luck, how come some seem to NEVER get any and others get so much?

have a little faith - quotes

Here are my favorite quotes from Mitch Albom's "Have a Little Faith."

"'faith is about doing.  You are how you act, not just how you believe."'


"'Family.  It is through my family that I hope to live on for a few generations.  When they remember me, I live on.  When they pray for me, I live on.  All the memories we have made, the laughs and the tears.'"


"'Look.  I know what I believe.  It's in my soul.  But I constantly tell our people: you sould be convinced of the authenticity of what you have, but you must also be humble enough to say that we don't know everything.  And since we don't know everything, we must accept that another person may believe something else."'


"But you can touch everything and be connected to nothing."


"But I realized something as I drove home that night: that I am neither better nor smarter, only luckier.  And I should be ashamed of thinking I knew everything, because you can know the whole world and still feel lost in it.  So many people are in pain - no matter how smart or accomplished - they cry, they yearn, they hurt.  But instead of looking down on things, they look up, which is where I should have been looking, too.  Because when the world quiets to the sound of your own breathing, we all want the same things: comfort, love, and a peaceful heart."


"God sings, we hum along, and there are many melodies, but it's all one song - one same, wonderful, human song."

My Room of 12

Yesterday I was sent an email forward that stated the following:

"I am supposed to pick 12 women who have touched my life and who I think might participate. I think that if this group of women were ever to be in a room together, there is nothing that would be impossible."


I had to really think about women that are strong, confident, and amazing.  I didn't include my children, even though I know they'll be amazing women.  So below are my 12:


Cheryl Brown 
Diane Martin

Dana Steward-Morris
Jill Baskin
Amanda Morris
Nancy Wolter
Diana Schilbe
Katherine Linton

Marie Goos Walter
Kelly Brown
Andrea DeAngelis
Jahna Berry

Book Suggestion: Have a Little Faith

I will post a review at a later date, however, I loved this book! 

It is an "every-man" spiritual journey that definitely puts life into perspective.  Great book to ask for as a holiday gift!

the Messiah

Messiah: Hebrew for The Anointed One.  A title Jesus received in his lifetime, but did it happen upon birth?

Up until this week, I never gave the name or when the title was given much thought.  After all, when Jesus was born there were Kings (wisemen) and shepherds that followed a star to Jesus's manger.  They followed the star to find the Messiah, the chosen one, the promised one that Isaiah and Daniel predicted.  Kings were brought to their knees, and the animals all laid down in awe.  At least this is what I learned in Sunday School.  How Biblically correct is this?

I believe this is more than one blog worth of commentary, so today I will focus on WHEN Jesus became the Messiah.

Bonnie and Lori visited this Wednesday and we began the chapter, "Who is Jesus Christ?" in the book, "What Does the Bible Really Teach?"  I must state that I believe Jesus's story (like many in the Bible), has been retold and revamped to fit whatever and whomever's story it needs to fit.  The Gospels aren't even in complete agreement, but nonetheless Jesus of Nazarath was a man that for many fit the Mesaiah title.  But WHEN did many start to believe?

I imagine Mary was 100% certain the baby inside her was not the result of premarital sex; and I'm sure her conversations with the angel Gabriel were hard to believe, that is until her belly grew and the movements of life began to warm her heart.  Joseph also knew, but I would have to believe Harrod's desire to find and kill the Messiah was enough to keep Jesus's position a secret.  I can only imagine Joseph's difficulty with pretending the baby was his, in order to save the life of the son of God.

I will leave the infant narrative for another time, because on Wednesday I realized that Jesus was anointed (i.e. became the Messiah) upon his baptism, not upon his birth.  No wonder baptism is vital for the Christian faiths!  Before this time, Jesus had disciples that believed.  However, God spoke to the crowds (in Luke) stating, "You are my Son, chosen and marked by my love, pride of my life."  It is assumed the crowds heard God's voice, not something in "normal" everyday life.  So I would imagine this was a HUGE ordeal.  God was anointing Jesus as his son and the Messiah.

Does this change how I feel about the birth of Christ?  No.  But it sheds some light on prophecies by Daniel.  In Daniel 9:25 it is written, "Here is what you must understand: From the time the world goes out to rebuild Jerusalem until the coming of the Anointed Leader, there will be seven sevens.  The rebuilding will take sixty-two sevens, including building streets and digging a moat.  Those will be rough times.  After the sixty-two sevens, the Anointed Leader will the killed - the end of him.  The city and Sanctuary will be laid in ruins by the army of the newly arriving leader.  The end will come in a rush, like a flood.  War will rage right up to the end, desolation the order of the day.  Then for one seven, he will forge many and strong alliances, but halfway through the seven he will banish worship and prayers.  At the place of worship a desecrating obscenity will be set up and remain until finally the desecrater himself is decisively destroyed."

Historians believe that the "start" date for the "Seventy Weeks" is 455 BCE.  Why?  According to Nehemiah 2:1 the rebuilding of the city of Jerusalem started "In the month of Nisan in the twentieth year of Artaxerxes the king."  Historians confirm 474 BCE was Artaxerxes' first full year as a ruler.  Therefore, 455 BCE would be his 20th year.  Biblical scholars believe each week represents 7 years, which is based on the Jewish concept of weeks of years represented in Exodus.  So the first 7 weeks (or 49 years) would end in 406 BCE.  The next set of weeks is 62, which would equal 434 years.  The year would be 29 CE.

According to the Bible Jesus was about 30 years old when he entered public life, which was following his baptism (his annointing from God).  Does this confirm that Jesus was the Mesiah predicted?  I must say the evidence is pretty clear.

I'm also reading another Witness book called, "Pay Attention to Daniel's Prophecy!"  I have learned that many regard the book of Daniel to be a forgery and written after the events had taken place.  Regardless of its validity, I am humbled by the idea Jesus was a normal man that only became the Messiah upon his baptism.  I just find that idea awesome, and it has made me look differently at baptism.  As a Lutheran, I was taught you must believe Jesus Christ is your savior and be baptized to enter the kingdom of heaven.  Even with its sacramental status (baptism and communion are the only 2 in the Lutheran faith; compared to 7 in the Catholic faith), I never considered it was because baptism was the moment Jesus became the Messiah.

I plan on writing more on this idea in the future.  But for now, I have a whole new appreciation for John the Baptist.

parables week 5

The Danger of Being Good and Empty
Matthew 12:43-45


Yesterday I posted a poem by T.S. Elliot called, The Hollow Men.  If you haven't already taken time to read it, I HIGHLY recommend stopping now and looking at it.  The poem was referenced in this week's Sunday Bible Study.  In the poem it is implied that we have stuffed our lives with straw, rather than God Almighty.  No matter how much we stuff our lives with straw (or stuff), it will never take the place of being truly filled.

As you know, we are working on the Parables of Jesus, and this weeks lesson (November 8th) really hit home for me.  I have received flack from others regarding my relationship with Bonnie; mostly because she is a Jehovah Witness and, therefore, weird from her religious beliefs.  But I have fallen in love with her; in a spiritual sense.  I have become addicted to her personality - one that's filled with the loving spirit of God.  I want to spend time with her to not only learn the Bible, but to surround myself with her fulfilled life.  She literally glows.  However, I don't believe it is ONLY because she is a Witness.  I believe she is filled with the spirit; unlike most of the world.  I want to glow like that; I want to be infectious with the spirit of God.

The week's parable is a rather odd one on the surface - unclean spirit, seven other evil spirits, evil generation, etc.  However, upon further investigation I found it extremely profound in meaning and application for my life.  Yes, most people want happiness and to be good.  Many people tolerate others, as long as their "ways" don't affect them.  Being superficially nice isn't exactly what Jesus meant when he said, "love your neighbor."  He meant to truly love your fellow man, just as you love yourself.  How many can honestly say they do that?

How often do we run into people that call themselves Christians, but treat others like second class citizens, or even worse: are cold and proper to others, pretending to like them?  Kalas, author of "More Parables from the Back Side," writes, "They seem to be persons who probably never do anything very wrong, but who have limited joy, and who probably bring little joy to the world around them.  They seem to be rather well cleaned, but painfully empty."

John 10:10 states, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."  Jesus is telling us to live life with abundance, but do I live my life with way?  Kalas writes, "We too easily settle for being clean, good, and nice, because this is more or less in our control.  On the surface, this is something we can bring off.  We can reform, making ourselves a little bit better.  We can discipline ourselves to the point where we become rather admirable.  But we can't fill ourselves.  We can occupy ourselves, by keeping busy, even to the point of nervous exhaustion.  But we can't fill ourselves."

I always feel this overflow of love and passion for Christ when I meet with Bonnie.  Maybe this is why I continue to study with her.  I too want to be magnificently full; so full that I bubble over with the glow of love to others.  I know that this fullness comes when we walk consistently with God Almighty; and I am committed to continuing my walk.

Thoughts on the Trinity - The Holy Spirit

I have always had issues with the trinity.  Mostly the part where Jesus is God.  It's not that Jesus isn't important; he is why we are Christians.  It's more my issue with the man-made idea of a Triune God.  I also believe that the Holy Spirit is the applied power of God: God's active force in the universe.

Recently I read an article called, "What Is the Holy Spirit?"  I loved the scripture quoted from Luke, "So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." 

When I was in Kindergarten we sang a song, "Welcome To My World,"  that has stuck with me ever since.  Here are the lyrics to the refrain:

Knock and the door will open
Seek and you will find
Ask and you'll be given
The key to this world of mine
I'll be waiting here
With my arms unfurled
Waiting just for you
Welcome to my world
Waiting just for you
Welcome to my world 

As a child, I thought this was a love song between a man and a woman; but now I see the love song is God Almighty's promise to his creation: Humans.  I believe God's holy spirit can work through me and throughout the world.  However, I do not believe the holy spirit is in fact a person or a "ghost".

Throughout the Bible we are reminded of the wonderful force of God Almighty.  The incredible "universe and all its order and harmony exists thanks to the 'dynamic energy,' or power, of Almighty God." 

I think I have spent most of my life believing we all had a spirit (or a soul).  I thought of our bodies as a shell that each had a soul (or spirit) poured in, like water.  Upon death, that soul would be poured out and ascend to heaven to sit with God Almighty, Jesus, and the rest of the lucky souls.  Since my conversations with Bonnie, I am torn between a belief I grew up with and Biblical proof that we have a spirit (like that of the holy spirit).  Maybe we are just beings that can be influenced by the holy spirit...

In "The Shack", Sarayu is the name of the holy spirit.  The word: Sarayu is actually the name of a river.  It means wind or air; and I am comfortable in thinking the power of God is like a river.  I often think of the song "I've Got Peace like a River."  The peace that can be achieved by allowing the spirit to work through you is overwhelming and wonderful!

1 Corinthians 12:7-11 states:
"Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines."

So where, preytell, does this leave me?  Still searching, of course.  But I am confident that the holy spirit is not a person; but the power of God.  

Secrets of Family Success - A Firm Foundation

What is a Firm Foundation?

I suppose up until recently I would have strayed away from saying that the Bible is the foundation upon which my family is built.  However, with my inspirational talks with Bonnie, my belief in the scripture has grown.  I am now convinced that a God-centered life is key to a strong family foundation.  Without His word I am not certain that I would feel so sure of this.

I continue my journey with the hope that I become more secure in my beliefs; and I know that I am on the right path for a successful family.  I really like what the publication states:

"Such principles [the other blog entries] have helped many families to find true sucess.  Like all other families, they experience problems.  The difference is that the Bible has provided them with a firm foundatio for marriage and family life.  We would expect that to be true of the Bible, for its Author, Jehovah God, is the Originator of the family."

I am blessed to have a successful marriage and family; but I'm no stranger to the work it takes to keep it that way.  Each day is a another opportunity to make a wrong choice.  However, I hope my foundation continues to grow; therefore, providing what I need to make good choices and successful relationships.

Secrets of Family Success - Forgiveness

"You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you."
~Psalms 86:5

I think Forgiveness is probably the hardest secret to put to fruition.  In logical thinking, to forgive someone seems to be a good idea.  The quicker we forgive, the quicker we can move onward to a healthier and happier life.  Holding onto anger and frustrations only festers inside creating a perfect environment for hate and sin.

I recently read, "The Shack," and was extremely moved by it.  I really want to reread it, due to the fact it contained such powerful ideas and thoughts.  One of the key themes is "forgiveness."

My favorite quote about from the novel is, "'Forgiveness is first for you, the forgiver," answered Papa, "to release you from something that will eat you alive; that will destroy your joy and your ability to love fully and openly.'"

It is really a different way to look at forgiveness.  Forgiveness if for the forgiver, not for the one getting forgiven.  You are forgiving for yourself, a selfish action.  In many ways I think this makes forgiving someone somehow easier.

Of course, logically to forgive someone seems very direct.  However, illogically I must state that I personally don't always forgive as quickly as I should.  I do admit that in the last few years (since I've had the girls), I am a lot more open to forgiving others and moving forward.  It is so much healthier psychologically for me to move forward and not live in the past, or allow a hurt to fester.  I still grieve for the situation (i.e. if a friend hurts my feelings); however, I am able to approach the person and share my perspective.

But I don't forget pain and hurt.  I don't want to relive the past, so I am VERY careful who I surround myself with and what I take on as projects or responsibilities.  I also try to avoid letting others determine how I feel towards something or someone.  Letting go is so cathartic; and emotionally necessary.

I will conclude with another quote from "The Shack".

"Every time you forgive, the universe changes; every time you reach out and touch a heart or a life, the world changes; with every kindness and service, seen or unseen, my purposes are accomplished and nothing will ever be the same again."

Secrets of Family Success - Respect

The 4th secret is RESPECT.  This doesn't come as a surprise to me, and I don't imagine anyone would argue this secret.

Of course many might disagree that insults, abusive speech, and sarcasm towards your spouse is NOT respecting them.  We obviously cannot agree with EVERYTHING our spouse says, after all we are individuals.  But there is a right way and a wrong way to handle disagreements.  We should treat our family members the way we want to be treated, especially the person  to whom we have committed our life.

"Stupid" is a forbidden word in our house.  I hold it up as high as other common swears.  Name calling might happen at school or out in the "world," but in our home we all treat each other with the respect and love that we all deserve.  If you can't get respect from home, where are you going to get it?!

Words are powerful.  They can be used for greatness, or horrible weapons of destruction.  In college I took a course on business edicate.  I was told that it takes 7 positives comments to erase a negative statement.  So what does this say about name calling or abusive language?  Our words can destroy others, just by stating them.  Is that truly what we desire when our anger gets the best of us? 

I have been known to say things before I think; and I hope to continue working towards a more healthy reaction to frustration and anger.

Secrets of Family Success - Team Work

The past week has brought my focus on my health, but today I do feel I'm on the mend.

Unfortunately I was unable to complete the week-long study of the 7 secrets to a successful family.  However, today I will continue the study with the third element: Teamwork.

It's rather ironic to speak about Teamwork, since I'm currently listening to "The Wonder Pets."  My children love this Nick Jr. show, and their theme song is truly awesome!

Wonder Pets, Wonder Pets
We're on our way
To help a friend
and save the day.
We're not to big 
and we're not to tough.
But when we work together
we've got the right stuff!
Go Wonder Pets!

As totally silly as this song might seem, I think elementally we all need each other to survive.  A team is completely important when speaking of a marriage.  Two coming together to work together.  Marriage is work; which I think oftentimes gets overlooked when two are in love.  But it would be VERY difficult if each person was on a different sides.  I believe that listening and respecting your spouse are also key elements to teamwork.

If you replace your family name (i.e. Martin Family) in the Wonder Pets song, it would in fact be a great affirmation of teamwork.

Martin Family, Martin Family
We're on our way
To help a friend
and save the day.
We're not to big 
and we're not to tough.
But when we work together
we've got the right stuff!
Go Martin Family!

Secrets of Family Success - Commitment

Today's success is Commitment.

I sometimes wonder if I am too committed to projects or goals.  I jump in, over my head, quite often.  However, when it comes to my marriage I am glad that I have the strong sense of commitment.  I think it makes it SO much easier when the person you are committed to also feels the unified devotion.

I think Commitment goes hand-in-hand with The Right Priorities.  If your priorities are "right" you will put your spouse first.  Putting your partner first allow you to create a permanent union.  This security allows the other partner to flourish as an individual within the partnership.

The publication, Awake!, compares commitment to a guard rail that, "prevents your marriage from going off course."  I like what The Message says in Matthew 19:6, "Because god created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart."

A marriage is an art of God.  I love this illustration.  In Genesis, God Almighty spoke his other creations (i.e. light, plants, water, etc.), but with Adam he formed him from the dirt of the Earth.  God formed man, and he artfully designed a union of the two sexes.

A couple years ago, an ex-boyfriend of mine came into town.  This wasn't just ANY ex-boyfriend, this was my first love and someone I had wanted to marry.  When I asked Jim what he thought of us getting together to talk and spend time with each other simply said, "Fine.  Why not?"  He cared, but he knew our commitment to each other surpassed the possibility of my straying into an adultrous situation.  Not only was I able to spend time with a dear friend from my past, but my love for my husband grew because of his devotion to me and our marriage.

I would definitely have to say Commitment is the most important "sucesses" in the list.

Secrets of Family Success - The Right Priorities

"Awake!" is one of the monthly publications Bonnie brings to our Bible studies.  Even though she dropped off both last week, I was only able to glance at the "Watchtower" and I didn't even do that much to "Awake!"  However, last night I briefly opened the publication and noticed a really cool article called, "Secrets of Family Success."  I thought I would spend the next 7 days contemplating and writing about my opinions on each success.  Today is: The Right Priorities.

What are your priorities?  Do you even know?

"Make sure of the more important things," Philippians 1:10

I know that my family comes first, but does it always come first?  I think it's a lot easier for a stay-at-home mom to say her family comes first.  It is definitely more challenging for a working dad (or mom) to state the same.  Of course the job is important...but why is he/she working?  Is it to financially support the family, or is it to make himself feel better.  Is it selfish?  Is the family an item on a "to-do" list?

I am often surprised at the relationship Jim and I have.  Not surprised in a bad sense of the word, rather surprised in our great sense of accomplishment.  I truly know we have a strong marriage, and therefore a strong commitment to family.  This doesn't mean we don't have our struggles, but when there is a strong foundation the struggles take a backseat to the important relationship that has been established.  We are able to get passed the pitfalls of life holding on to each other and the family we are continuing to nourish. 

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."

my relationship with Bonnie #10

Yesterday I had the pleasure of studying again with Bonnie.  We started Chapter 3 in "What Does the Bible Really Teach?" titled "What is God's Purpose for the Earth?"

I was able to incorporate my weekly Genesis Bible study into the conversation, and I love being able to ask further questions that aren't answered at the Coffee Break.

In the Woman's Coffee Break we studied the story of Cain and Abel, as well as the line of Adam's decedents up to Noah. I especially enjoyed the additional Bible verses that were discussed, since the story is so small compared to the meaning.

My favorite verse is from Romans 12:17-21 -
"Do not repay anyone evil for evil.  Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.  Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord.  On the contrary: 'If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.  In doing this you will heap burning coals on his head.'  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

I also learned that no matter how far we stray from God, he still wants to have a relationship with us.  Therefore, we have to seek him.  He is always willing to take us back. 

We ended our coffee break with Psalms 1.  The first two verses are my favorite.


"Blessed is the man who does not walk in counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.  But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night."

Psalms 116:12

I wanted to give my thoughts on Psalms 116:12, which reads, "What shall I return to the Lord for all his bounty to me?"

I find it interesting that on stewardship Sunday we were not bombarded with the church's financial needs, nor desires for our money.  Rather it was our gifts that were requested.  What do we give someone who has given us so much?

I really believe it is not the amount you give, but the attitude in which it is given.  There is a parable the pastor brought up in the sermon today.  It is one of my VERY favorite parables; Luke 21:

"And he looked, and saw rich men putting their donations into the treasury. And he also saw a certain poor widow donating two mites. And he said Truly, I tell you, that this poor widow has cast in more than all of them: for they have all given but a portion of their great wealth, as an offering to God, while she, in her poverty, has given all that she had."

A mite is a coin, but there is its homonym: might. Therefore one could state that the widow's gift was powerful.  Are all of our gifts powerful?   And do we honestly consider what God Almighty has given us?

I find such joy in giving my time and energy to the church.  This past year has found me wanting to spend time with my church family and relishing in the gifts they return to me.  God Almighty has given me so much, more than I can possibly write here, thus I want to give back, even if it isn't possible to do so financially.

One should give generously and joyously; and never be ashamed at what "little" one can give.  So even if it is a small amount, isn't that greater than none at all?

tree of life

Today continued the Genesis study in my women's coffee break.  A spirited and chatty group, but not always the most informative.  However, I am enjoying reading the book of Genesis from a new perspective.  I find such amazing parenting skills in Jehovah God.  For even in their worst moments, Adam and Eve were punished but not cursed.  And both the man and the woman were hit where it counts the most: women in relationships and men in daily work/tasks.

"You'll want to please your husband, but he'll lord it over you," Genesis 3:16b.  "Planting and tilling and harvesting, sweating in the fields from dawn to dusk," Genesis 3:19a.

I also found such truth in how both Adam and Eve blame someone/something else for their disobedience.  Eve blame the serpent and Adam blames Eve.  Neither take repsonsibility for their actions, which is so typical in childen (and adults).  We never seem to want to take blame for our misfortunes, and yet we have a choice.

I visited with my grandma last Wednesday, but spoke to Bonnie on the phone Sunday evening.  I asked her about the Tree of Life: this tree that receives a name, but never a true description.  However, in Genesis 3:22b there is a reference to the tree, "He must not be allowed to read out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever."  One would think that Adam and Eve had been eating from this tree while they cavorted with Jehovah God, but now upon their removal from the garden are no longer able to partake in the fruit.  This fruit was what gave everlasting life.  Thus, "you started out as dirt, you'll end up as dirt," Genesis 3:19b.

Bonnie made mention that the Tree of Knowledge was a lesson in obedience, and that the fruit wasn't anything special...just fruit like every other tree.  However, she also pointed out a verse that her Kingdom Hall is studying: Genesis 3:15.  Jehovah God is talking to the serpent:

"And I will put enmity
between you and the woman,
and between your offspring and hers;
he will crush your head,
and you will strike his heel." (NIV)

Bonnie told me that this passage alludes to the battle in Heaven, which is described in more detail in the Revelation.  Satan is the "you" and the angel organization in heaven is the "women."  Your offspring refers to "demons" which are fallen angels and on Satan's side, and hers refers to the 144,000 that will serve in the Kingdom of Heaven with Jesus after the 1000 years.

Interestingly enough, our Bible study today read this passage.  It was quickly dismissed as the part about "Christ coming," (i.e. a Messianic prophecy) but not interpreted.  I'm almost sad I didn't go to the Kingdom Hall last Sunday to study this passage.  It is really cryptic and cool!  In the Message version there is a a bit of a textual difference:

"I'm declaring war between you and the
Woman,
between your offspring and hers.
He'll wound your head,
you'll wound his heel."

I actually have to agree with a Internet blogger who states:

"The application of the term (zar’ah), her seed, in Genesis 3:15 is to denote Eve’s generic descendants, i.e., humanity, since Adam and Eve are considered as the progenitors of all of us according to the account of Creation in Genesis. The incredible quantum leap of faith required in order to accept and believe the claim that Genesis 3:15 is a messianic prophecy, that the seed of Eve referred to therein can be distinctly and unambiguously identified as pointing at a specific individual, Jesus, is simply astonishing.

Within the realm of Jewish theology, this verse could certainly be understood to include the Messiah at some point "down the road" since, according to the teachings of the Hebrew Bible, he is expected to be a flesh and blood human being, a descendant of King David, and, thus, a descendant of Adam and Eve as well. But this is in no way a unique identification and pointer to the Messiah, to that specific individual whose coming is foretold in the Hebrew Bible."

However, whatever the true interpretation is, a verse like this is definitely thought provoking and MY kind of verse!  :)

parables week 3

Today's Bible study was based on Luke 7:36-48.  The story is about a man, Simon, who invites Jesus to dinner.  During the dinner a local prostitute visits, weeps and her tears wash Jesus's feet.  She then anoints his feet with expensive, perfumed oil, and she repeatedly kisses his feet.  Simon wonders why Jesus (who is supposed to be this great prophet) lets this wanton woman fall all over him.  Jesus tells the parable of the money lender.  It's a very "real" parable.

Two men owe money to a lender.  One man owes 50 denari (1 denari equals one day of labor) and the other man owes 500 denari.  The lender cancels both men's debt.  Then Jesus asks Simon, "now which will love the lender more?"  Of course Simon answers the "no brainer" question stating, "I suppose the one for whom he canceled the greater debt."  A very 2009 parable - we all seem to owe money.  But it wasn't the parable that bothered me, rather the second to last statement, "If the forgiveness is minimal, the gratitude is minimal"

I am someone that lives a pretty straight and narrow path.  I have tried drugs (pot), and I have spent more than evening smoking whilst enjoying a beverage or two.  I did not always honor my parents while growing up, and I've also participated in a few stupid high school/college pranks and "illegal" and very silly activities.  But pretty much I am a hard-working, Christian wife and mother that takes life seriously.  Insomuch as hoping that I live a good and loving life in the eyes of others, especially Jehovah God.  So does this mean that I am not grateful for the forgiveness of sins I will hopefully recieve?

In "More Parables from the Backside," Kalas states, "For Simon, Jesus was a dinner guest, a currently popular rabbi.  Simon didn't really need him very much, except as part of a social occasion.  For the woman, Jesus was crucial.  In her troubled life, he was a singular refuge."

Even though the woman never asks directly for forgiveness, Jesus says to her, "Your sins are forgiven."  As an average, every day sinner are my sins not as monumental as someone with a troubled life?  And is Jesus suggesting that I don't need him as much as someone else?

I think what Jesus implied in this parable was that no matter how small our sin is we should be eternally grateful for the Lord's forgiveness.  I have just as much reason to be grateful as someone with a troubled life; for both of our reasons are equal.  Zoe has a Bible verse to memorize every couple of weeks in pre-school.  The most recent one is from Romans 3:23, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,".  No one is perfect.  And we all fall short of it.  Therefore, we all are blessed by Jehovah God's AMAZING GRACE.

After much thought and discussion with the group my idea of the second to last statement changed.  Jesus wanted Simon to realize he didn't need or love Jesus like the prostitute did.  Did Simon have the faith the prostitute did?

One interesting question I brought up was, what happened to the prostitute after the absolution of her sins?  Did she go back to a troubled life?  I wonder things like this, and only Jehovah God could answer this.

So what chance does an average sinner have?  A wonderful one in the eyes of the Lord.

in his image

In my Wednesday Coffee Break Bible study we spent our discussion reading Genesis 2: The incredible creation of man.  In all his other creations, God "spoke" them into existence.  However, with man he "formed" him with his own hands.  And in that formation he breathed the spirit of life and man had a soul.

So if God made man in his image and thought "it was good," why do we as a society continually feel obligated to alter the way someone looks?



Is this truly what God intended?  If we were created in his image, why are we changing that and calling the new appearance: beauty?

After reading Ishmael, I wonder if the "Takers" in fact wrote the Bible.  However, even if we think man is the end of the creation story why are we altering this supposed perfect creation?  Are we are product of the few who believe in a strange sense of beauty?  Or are we constantly wanting to better the already perfect creation?  If God got it right on the 6th day, why do we feel he didn't do a good enough job?

Whether you believe Adam and Eve were real people, or if you believe it is merely myth, what does the above commercial say about our culture?  Are we eventually going to create a people that resemble Michael Jackson or Joan Rivers?  As a mother, how can I prevent my girls from the sick influence of our "never perfect" society?  And where will it end?

parables week 2

After an exhausting week, my family and I skipped church yesterday morning.  We needed a bit of family time - without others involved.  Therefore, I missed the discussion on the second parable with the Bible Study group.  However, I did read the second chapter and found it to be really compelling.  The reading was "The Man Who Talked with His Soul," based on Luke 12:13-21.  This parable is often called the one about the "rich man".

One passage that spoke to me was, "...a person can know all the facts, yet miss the point.  We can reason logically, yet come to the wrong conclusion.  We can say all the right words while having a wrong heart."

As mentioned in previous blogs, I've recently become friends again with my ex-husband, Pete*.  Those that know me, realize that since my ex and I knew each other most of our lives it doesn't seem odd to rekindle a friendship.  I suppose after 9 years, wounds have been healed and scars have been bandaged.  I don't have regrets, but I always hoped that he would know the truth about his childhood.

In a nutshell, Pete never knew his father and his mother told him that if he ever tried to find him she'd know Pete didn't love her anymore.  His mother has her own reality of life, and she has spent the last 34 years convincing Pete that her reality is the truth.  Unfortunately, no matter how hard he tries to escape, Pete is caught up in the toxic reality his mother has spoon fed him.

After a failed marriage with me, and his second on the edge of ending, Pete did what I have always hoped he would: he contacted his father.  I will never forget hearing those words for the first time.  It was almost dream-like!  Hopefully his father will shed some light on the past and clear up the "reality" that has encompassed Pete's life from little on.  It is this toxic bizarre "reality" that ultimately ruined our marriage, and if things don't change will always be a life-long thorn in Pete's side.

I truly believe that some people are so selfish they can't see past their selfish ends to view how it affects others.  His mother was so selfish that she never wanted her child to contact his father.  This behavior did affect Pete's father (if that was her goal), but it also affected how Pete views relationships, and himself.  His mother is NOT the only one that will ever truly love him, even though that's what he was brought up believing. 

The story of the rich man describes him as "an exceedingly fortunate man.  He has the kind of land farmers dream of, and he knows what to do with it."  Another comment is, "[the rich man] speaks sixty words, and eleven of them are I or my.  And all of them-every single one!-are concerned with his own welfare.  This may be a spiritual man, but he is one of the smallest men you'll ever meet."

People like this leave out other people and they leave out God.  "Yes, and it's possible even to pray, and while praying move farther and farther away from God, because we emply prayer only to enlist God's power for our own selfish ends."

I think at some level we are all selfish.  The "mother-bear" instinct comes out when we feel the need to protect our young, and the "why me" attitude can creep into our thoughts and worries.  But it takes a truly foolish person to be so myopic that she ignors the needs and best interests of her children.

"When you put [the parable] all together, you realize that God was saying, 'You damned fool.'"  The author clarifies damed by stating, "Damned has to do with eternal matters, not the petty stuff of thoughtless anger."

So I suppose Pete's mom might have her "reality" on earth, but eventually her crimes of selfishness will be punished by a higher power.


*names have been changed for the respect of those involved*

pilgrimage - day #40

Pilgrimage End...

As I come to the end of the "Pilgrimage," I am confident I've been lead in the direction of the Coffee Hour at Zoe's school.  Wednesday's now encompass two Bible studies: Genesis, and the Bible's teachings.

I am also thrilled to continue a Bible study with my church: Parables from the Back Side.  It is a small group, but a wonderful opportunity to study together.

Reading scripture together and studying the verses is so much more fulfilling than studying on my own.  As much as I enjoyed parts of the "Pilgrimage," I find myself wanting to continue in group (large and small) studies rather than private ones.  I love hearing the variety of opinions, and heartfelt questions.  It also helps me to be a part of something greater than myself.

Here's the the start of the next part of my journey - may the road be filed with wonder.

Today's Scripture
Psalms 30:1-5
I will extol you, O Lord, for you have drawn me up, 
and did not let my foes rejoice over me.
O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, 
and you have healed me.
O Lord, you brought up my soul from Sheol, 
restored me to life from among those gone down to the Pit.
Sing praises to the Lord, O you his faithful ones, 
and give thanks to his holy name.
For his anger is but for a moment; 
his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may linger for the night, 
but joy comes with the morning.

my relationship with Bonnie #9

Today's Bible study started chapter 2: "The Bible - A Book From God."

Debbie joined Bonnie today, and once again I felt such heartfelt appreciation for allowing the study in my home.

One of the Bible questions was, "What impresses you about the distribution of the Bible?"  Yes, I already knew the Bible was the most published book ever.  It is available to 90 percent of the world's population, and in 2300 languages.  However, it isn't the huge amount of Bible produced and distributed that suprises me.  I am actually surprised that most Christian people own at least one Bible, but have never opened the cover to read the word.  Bonnie and Debbie were pleased at my assessment, and we talked about how the Bible is a fixture in most Christian homes, but viewed as a relic to be displayed.

The next topic was about the Bible as the inspired word of God.  2 Timothy 3:16 states, "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."  This idea does not come easy to me.  I believe that quite often the laws and cultural writings were done so to protect the people of the time in which the book was written.  They may have been inspired by God to protect his people, but in some cases man's arrogance is portrayed in the scripture.

I will agree that the Bible illustrates God's purpose.  The Old Testament predicts Jesus, and the New Testament is a reference to God's purpose through Jesus.  I appreciate the "factual" information and research that is proven in the Bible.  The Witnesses do a fabulous job at answering any question one might have.

Of course all this scripture is now clouded over by my recent reading of Ishmael.  I am now completely unsure how I feel about MAN as the reason for the creation of the Earth.  Are we supposed to be it?  Creation ends with us?  As the final creation of God, we have done a horrible job protecting the Earth.  With that said, I do like the scientific knowledge presented in Isaiah and Job.  Yes, the Bible isn't a science book, but having the prophets write about what was "unknown" at the time is really awesome.

In Isaiah 40:22 the Bible states, "He sits enthroned about the circle of the earth, and its people are like grasshoppers."  The earth is a circle; it is stated right here in the Bible.  During all those "dark ages" where people believed the earth was flat!  All they had to do was read the Bible.  Of course, with most not being able to read, it's no wonder why people didn't know the truth!

In Job 26:7 the Bible states, "He spreads out the northern skies, over empty space; he suspends the earth over nothing."  So right here it clearly states that the earth is suspended without being attached to anything.  No turtle, elephant, or string.  Right here in this verse the axis is described.  I find this so cool!

I also asked a question that was brought up at the Genesis Bible study earlier this morning.  Someone asked if animals and people lived in harmony before sin.  Bascially, could people pet a lion; and could man lead the way God requested when he created man?  There was not a definite answer given, so I asked the ladies this afternoon.  They were quick with a response.  Isaiah 10:6-9 describes the way things will be in the new system.  Therefore, this is how things "used" to be before sin came.


"The wolf will live with the lamb, 
the leopard will lie down with the goat, 
the calf and the lion and the yearling together; 
and a little child will lead them.
The cow will feed with the bear, 
thier young will lie down together, 
and the lion will eat straw like the ox.
The infant will play near the hole of the cobra, 
and the young child put his hand into the vipers nest.
They will neither harm nor destroy
on all my holy mountain, 
for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the Lord
as the waters cover the sea."

As the day comes to a close, I am so glad to have spent another Wednesday afternoon with Bonnie.

Genesis Bible Study

Today began my Woman's Bible Study, called Coffee Hour.  This study takes place at Zoe's preschool, so it's very convenient for me.  Plus, they have free child care for Eva - how cool is that?!

The theme is, "Faithful God," which is based on Genesis 17:7, "I will establish my covenant as an everlasting covenant between me and you and you descendants after you for the generations to come, to be your God and the God of your descendants after you."  There are 2 parts to this study - 12 weeks each.  There will be special lunches and brunches throughout the school year.

I'm really excited about this, as I am anticipating the addition of many new friends.

This morning we discussed Genesis 1 - 2:3.  There were such awesome responses to the study questions.  I think the age difference in the attendees is fantastic, and it really helps to encourage a variety of discussions and questions/answers.

I think the one facet I took away from the meeting (besides meeting a great group of women) was the 7th day of creation.  Even God found balance after a week of work.  It should inspire us to make that time for harmony and balance in life.  God didn't HAVE to have a day off, but he did - and I think it is a model for humans to employ.  I will do my best to remember this when I feel overwhelmed or over-scheduled.

pilgrimage - day #39

Today's Scripture
Psalm 126
When the Lord restored the fortune of Zion, 
were were like those who dream.
Then our mouth was filed with laughter, 
and our tongue with shouts of joy; 
then it was said among the nations, 
"The Lord has done great things for them."
The Lord has done great things for us, 
and we rejoiced.
Restore our fortunes, O Lord,
like the watercourses in the Negeb.

May those who sow in tears reap with shouts of joy.
Those who go out weeping,
bearing the seed for sowing, 
shall come home with shouts of joy, 
carrying their sheaves.


Since I was curious, Negeb means "to be dry," or "parched regions."


Today's topic is "Leaving the Past."  I have had a few really bizarre dreams lately.  I am still married to my ex-husband and we are dealing with weird life experiences.  At some point in the dreams, I am reminded that I am still in love with Jim, and I can't imagine being with anyone else.  I often think, "why am I with this guy again?  I thought I divorced him!"


Mike has often crept into dreams over the years.  Usually we are hanging out, or reliving past events in our lives.  But I'm wondering if actually hanging out with him and his family lately has provoked odd brain synopsis.  In fact, last night I was with him and his family (including Amanda, his wife) moving into a new house.  I wasn't married to Mike, but living with his family.  I didn't have the girls, but I kept wondering why I wasn't with Jim.  Oh well.


So do I leave the past behind?  Yes, and no.  I suppose it depends on the situation or relationship.  Mostly it depends on if there was unfinished business attached to either.  At least I am having dreams of who Mike currently is: married to Amanda, a father, etc.  I still have strange dreams about Dave, an ex boyfriend from a lifetime ago.  However, in the dreams he has hair, is skinny, and looks like he did in high school.  I suppose that is where my heart and mind remember him best - the past.


I am hoping that my spiritual journey allows me to move forward in all my past relationships, even the ones that have business unfinished.

pilgrimage - day #38

According to the author, "Pilgrimage is both the journey and the destination."

I'm not looking for a destination, so I'm not sure I would know it when I got there.  My pilgrimage's sole purpose (or soul purpose) is the journey.  I don't have an "end" in sight, and is that okay?  Is it okay to just take the walk?  At this point, I'm going to have to say, "yes, the walk is even more important than the destination."


Today's Scripture
Psalms 48:12-14)
Walk about Zion, go all around it, 
count its towers, 
consider well its ramparts; 
go through its citadels, 
that you may tell the next generation
that this is God, 
our God forever and ever.
He will be our guide forever.

riches from God and Creationism

Last night I finally was able to flip through the latest Jehovah Witness monthly literature: The Watchtower and Awake!

One article in particular was very interesting to me: "Riches that Come From God."  I am transported back to freshman year of high school, and the youth group from church.  It was my first day of the group.  We were supposed to go around the room telling our name, our school, our interests, and what God did for us this week.  The sick and twisted part was the amount of kids that attributed their high grades to God.  Prayers were sent and he provided his help.  I was only there for the first two Sundays, and then I decided to help in the nursery.  I just couldn't wrap my brain around people that prayed for an A on a test.

But even adults pray for "stuff" that does not seem appropriate to me.  Praying for money is one of them.  If you are lucky enough to have monetary riches, you are no greater to God than one that is less fortunate with money.  One point that I particularly liked was:


"The Christians at Smyrna, though poor, possessed riches far more valuable than silver or gold.  They were rich because of their faith and integrity to God.  Faith of itself is precious because it 'is not a possession of all people.' (2 Thessalonians 3:2).  Those not having faith are actually poor in God's eyes."

Internal peace has been a desire of mine for over a year.  Finding peace and comfort in God is the reason I started this spiritual journey.  In Isaiah 48:18 it states, "If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea."

Another interesting point from the literature is about that inner peace of which I speak.  That is the wealth I desire.  The articles states:

"Those with faith in God benefit from 'the riches of his kindness and forbearance and long-suffering.' (Romans 2:4) They also enjoy 'forgiveness of [their] trespasses' because of their faith in Jesus' ransom sacrifice. (Ephesians 1:7) Furthermore, theirs is the wisdom that 'the word of the Christ' brings to those who have faith. (Colosians 3:16) As they pray to God in faith, 'the peace of God that excels all though' guards their hearts and minds, bringing them contentment and happiness. (Philippians 4:7)"

The second article I found really interesting was, "Adam and Eve Were They Real People?" I am prone to be an Intelligent Design person.  However, I always find it interesting to hear all points of view on the validity of Bible stories and "myths".  One of the really interesting view points in the article is, "The book Nanomedicine states that the human body is made up of 41 chemical elements.  These basic elements - carbon, iron, oxygen, and others - are all present in the "dust" of the earth.  Thus, as Genesis states, humans are truly formed 'out of the dust from the ground.'"

The article illustrates other points to prove Adams existance.  However, I think there was one very powerful idea.  Most Christians think that Adam and Eve is simply a story or myth, not based on truth.  These Christians believe that to accept Adam and Eve as truth or myth is not an essential Christian facet.  The article states that to be a true Christian, one must believe in original sin; resulting in Jesus coming to save us.

"The perfect life that Jesus sacrificed to redeem obedient mankind corresponds to the perfect life that Adam lost as a result of the original sin in Eden.  Clearly, if Adam did not exist, Christ's ransom sacrifice would be rendered completely meaningless."

What a fabulous point to make in the quest for people to believe in the Garden of Eden story in Genesis.  If there wasn't original sin, why did Jesus have to come to Earth to save us?

This is a very thought provoking idea, one that I will continue to ponder.