Teaching the Whole Child

or Stop Timing Me on Your Cell Phone

Last Saturday, after teaching most of the day, I had a parent show me her cell phone.  I was taking her daughters into the studio to have their piano lessons and she showed me that I was 3 minutes late.  Three whole minutes.  She stood there, with cell phone in hand, and began complaining that I never start lessons on time.  She loudly complained that I am always talking to the previous student's mother about her daughter's progress.  This ultimately takes time away from HER paid lessons.  I tried to explain that I am always a few minutes behind, due to the fact I think it is important to speak with the parents before and after a lesson.  However, she simply stated that I NEVER talk with her after the lesson; she times all this on her cell phone, and that it isn't fair.  She pays for time that I never use.  She also suggested I leave 10 minutes between lessons to take care of talking to parents.

After her rant, I politely informed said mother that I am not going to change my schedule to accommodate more time between lessons.  That I teach 8 hours on Saturdays without a break, and that sometimes I do need to take a few moments to use the restroom, get a drink, AND especially speak with a student's parents.  I assured her that I am not (in any way) neglecting her children and their music education, but that I feel it is essential to teach the whole child.  Therefore, I need to know "what is new" with them.  I do this by developing a relationship with the student's family.  I send emails AND I talk to them.

She finally left the room, and her oldest had her head in her hands and was clearly embarrassed by her mother's feelings.  I just started the lesson, and did not let it influence how I taught the girls.  When the lessons were complete, their mother gave me a piece of paper with her friend's name and number on it.  Apparently this friend only wants me to teach her child.  After her earlier rant, I just took a deep cleansing breath and smiled.  I also made certain to tell her that I do not have anything open at this time.  Nothing.

Why Time Me?
Afterwards I was extremely confused.  I have been teaching lessons for a very long time now, and I have NEVER, NEVER been timed before.  I know what I am doing, and I know I am very good at it.  Through the years I have let students go, as we just didn't gel.  And honestly her children are sweet, but I do feel as if her expectations are not going to be met by me and my teaching style.  English is also her second language, but she pointed out that TIME was the same in any language.

When I rearranged my teaching schedule earlier this fall, I gave her one option to have lessons on Saturdays.  I was pretty certain they would move on to another teacher, but they did not.  It was their opportunity to find someone who better fit their need for lessons without relationships.  They made the switch from Friday afternoons to Saturday afternoons.  The truth is, when they came on Friday afternoons they were my first students and I always started "on time".  However, coming in the afternoon on Saturday means I have been teaching for 4 hours at that point and couldn't possibly be "on time".

My Beef
As a parent, I have never timed lessons for the children.  I make sure to get to the place on time, but most often there is a transition time (a few minutes) between classes (or students).  Even when we decided to change dance studios it wasn't a case of amount of time but the quality of teaching.

I am very surprised at how some people are worried about the cost of lessons based on time.  Are her children learning? Yes.  Are they growing in their skills?  Yes.  And the reason?  Both want to impress me.  They look forward to the high-fives I give when they get something right.  They love the stickers I sometimes bring out for rewards.  They enjoy the laughter when we are talking about music theory concepts.  And in my opinion, I think some things are simply priceless.  The smiles of these children when I'm giving them high-fives is just one of those priceless moments.

I have seen students grow in my care, and to me it has nothing to do with time (or spending 3 minutes of the lesson speaking to their parent).  In fact, I think an essential component of the growth is due to my interest in the whole child - not just if they are practicing.

Most teachers will tell you that the lesson (or school day) does not end when the student (classroom) leave.  I am always looking for new music for my students, or better and creative teaching methods as well.  I have a business to run, yes, but I am also teaching because I am invested in each and every one of those children.  Many people get overtime (or compensation) for overtime invested in a job - not a teacher.  And especially not a teacher who teachers from her own home.

So for those of you out there who concern yourself with timing your child's lesson - shame on you!  Shame on you for not realizing the true teaching that is going on here.  The concern for your WHOLE child, not just the skills being taught.