A Case For Not Attending My 20th Reunion

As some of you know, I was bullied quite badly when I was younger.  Even though time heals the wounds inflicted emotionally by others, it isn't a time I have simply forgotten.  By the time I was in high school I had established a group of friends who were more like me than when I was younger.  The bullying continued, but I was preoccupied with my interests to let it bother me.

Fast forward 20 years, and what do you have?  A class reunion.  I never saw myself attending another reunion after the completely uncomfortable five-year.  So I won't surprise any reader by stating the obvious: I am not going to attend the reunion dinner nor the family event the day after.

I have been reorganizing the Martin home, and I found Jim's yearbook.  Even though he graduated from a different high school, in a different city, a year before me, the people seemed to be just the same.  It was almost uncanny the similarities in people.  It was amazing how two separate situation could produce the same groups, cliques, etc.

I thought I would be a bit more specific to why I am not going to attend the reunion festivities.

Here are my reasons:

1. Social Networking
Facebook has completely eliminated the need to wonder what "insert name here" looks like or if "insert name here" ever went bald, grew fat, and/or changed.  With a very simple search, I can voyeuristically answer any question I have clinging to a balloon in my mind.  I can be in control to what others see, who can search for me, and catch up with old friends.  But what used to be reason to see classmates at a reunion (curiosity, unresolved issues, etc.) can be easily achieved by social networking.

2. People Never Change
I am not referring to those individuals who quit smoking, or decide to try a new hairstyle.  But it is naive and oftentimes heartbreaking to believe people can change their immature behaviors.  Popular then?  Still popular now with the same crowd of people.  To prove my point, we have a Facebook page commemorating the reunion.  Initially we had people posting pictures of high school stuff.  I am in one - from my dear friend, Jahna.  But in every other photo (over 100) I am in none.  Why?  Because I was not part of the parties, the get-togethers, the dates.  I was part of another group of friends, most of which left before me (see below).

Now there is information regarding the venue, price, etc. on the Facebook page.  Since then people are posting when they send in their checks.  Currently "Team Football" is winning.  Is this a surprise?

3. Friends Come and Go
I was quite close to the students who graduated a year before me.  When they graduated, I made friendships with underclassmen.  I had such difficulties trusting people in my class (from years of bullying), that I found peace with individuals who were younger or older.  I have a few close friends who I have had since high school: Dana, Jahna, and Joe from my class, and Rachel from a year after.  I also have remained in contact with other friends, but I have not lost contact with anyone I hold dear.

For me, high school was a season of my life; one of which is nicely packaged in a black and white box.  I am perfectly happy keeping the box wrapped and move forward in my life.