wisdom in the lord

PROVERBS 3: 1-7

 ¹ My son, do not forget my teaching,
       but keep my commands in your heart,  ² for they will prolong your life many years
       and bring you prosperity.
 ³ Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
       bind them around your neck,
       write them on the tablet of your heart.
 ⁴ Then you will win favor and a good name
       in the sight of God and man.
 ⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart
       and lean not on your own understanding;
 ⁶ in all your ways acknowledge him,
       and he will make your paths straight. 
 ⁷ Do not be wise in your own eyes;
       fear the LORD and shun evil.

We should not lean on our own understanding...what exactly does that mean?

I interpret the above verse with an open heart and mind.  I know that I am not "all knowing" like our God, but am I truly "poor in spirit" as the first Beatitude states?

I must admit, I do like to have control over things in my life.  I am not as big of a "control freak" as I used to be, yet I still have a very difficult time lifting it up to Jesus.  Lifting worries, anxieties, and fears up to our Lord and his son seems like it would be an easy thing to accomplish; but I still find myself internalizing concerns and actions rather than allowing things to just happen.

A few weeks back, I was humbled at the first Beatitude and what Jesus could have meant.  He didn't mean the financially poor, but rather those that are not arrogant or prideful in their spirit.  All these years I thought Jesus was suggesting that the poor had a place in His Kingdom.  However, he meant the poor in "spirit"; the spirit that we tend to attribute to winning baseball games.  Jesus said, "Repent for the Kingdom of God is at hand."  We then need to have the ability to confess our sins to God - to admit we are bankrupt in the spirit.

We must confess we don't know everything...is that difficult?  YES!  I truly believe this can be horribly traumatic for many.  I know personally I used to believe that Christians, true Christians, were simply sheep - following along, not questioning or deviating from the path.  But a lot of intelligence and control is needed to stop trying to "understand" everything God does; and just know that the Kingdom is there for those that recognize they are poor in spirit...sinners.

It's interesting that the closer I draw to God the further I am away from reaching the goal of obtaining the Kingdom.  I do wonder how many "interpretations" and "understandings" are pulling us away from the truths of God - from what is real.  I know I may never truly understand WHY I am here, or WHY things are the way they are;  however, I know that I will continue to strive towards poverty of spirit.  Without that, none of the other Beatitudes are possible.