I ended the above blog series with questions regarding the future of my church family. I left the readers wondering what decisions I would make for my future participation in our current church - or any church for that matter. And honestly, at the point I opened the door to my religion background and opinions I really wasn't sure what the future might bring.
Hello Sunshine
This summer has been one of real changes. We fixed the basement, I redecorated most of the home, and I reevaluated what was most important in my life. Our church has also become a place where I find little comfort anymore. The people who I was closest too have become strangers to me. I am very close to throwing in the towel, and the straw that broke this camel's back? Three little words: The Rummage Sale.
Each August our church has had an annual rummage sale, and has been for well over 50 years. The Women's Fellowship chairs the event, and for usually one month the church looks like crap. It smells like crap too. However, this year the Women's Fellowship decided to have the sale in October. Their reasoning was to limit the hot days working at the church. And I seriously understood that the older you get the harder it is to handle hot days.
However, the rummage began taking over the church in June. Yes, June. The Board of Education, to which I am a current member, agreed to letting the filthy rummage take over 2 weeks in the Sunday School room. However, the Sunday School room was already full of clutter and junk well over a month ago. I tried to not let it bother me. Mainly because I have resigned from teaching Sunday School this year. I have taught for 5 years, and it is time for me to do something else. I resigned at the August meeting.
But I digress. This past Sunday I was the Substitute Music Director, and I pretty much called it my Swan Song at the church. When I arrived the place looked like a garbage dump and smelled just as sweet. Thankfully I went alone, without Ladybugs, because as I walked down the hall to the bathroom I noticed that even the playroom/nursery was full of rummage. I was like - REALLY!? Since when is the nursery a room to display this catastrophic mess. I went home and shared my disgust with Jim, and he just shook his head.
Voicing My Opinions
Then I was asked to be a member of an elite meeting today at our church. The committee is called The Pastoral Relations Committee, and they like to sit down with the pastor and discuss good and bad stuff. I had no idea why they called the meeting, but it seemed like my opportunity to voice my concerns about how the church runs stuff. So I let them have it - I talked about the money that sits in the bank ($200,000), the lack of mission work, the lack of advertising, and the fact that there is no communication whatsoever regarding ANYTHING. I told them that the way the church looks appears to be one that is not welcoming for my girls, and that I cannot imagine any new people coming into the church with children and being happy with the condition of the environment.
I probably told them more stuff...but I made sure to sound well informed and stressed how other churches have kept their congregations and thriving, not just surviving. The two older woman said that all Dearborn churches were doing poorly. But I told them that was not the case. I used a couple examples, and then stated that in order for our church to survive we must find out what other successful churches are doing and do THAT. I was pleased at what I said, and how I kept my composure. I also bet that the other three committee members and the pastor (maybe not the pastor) were a bit surprised at my candid commentary.
What Now?
Jim and I have made the decision to stop attending church until the rummage sale is over. Regardless what the Director of Sunday School wants to do, we are going to stay home with our asthma and allergies (and our principals). We have told the girls we can visit the church next to their school one week, but we already have plans this Sunday (meeting friends from out of town at Greenfield Village) and next Sunday (Family Reunion). So we shall see how everything pans out in the next month or so, and you know I'll share it as it happens.
2 comments:
You know, Darryl and I use to struggle with the very same problem. I was raised Catholic, but converted to Presbyterianism and joined the church he was raised with. Well, same kind of issues kept coming up. When I helped out with Sunday school, the issues became worse. Then, we both started to realize how awful other members used and treated my mother-in-law and took advantage of her generosity. So, we stopped going. I had the same experiences with Catholic churches. Unfortunately, bottom line, going to church does not equal kindness, goodness, or faith. I'm sorry you have had those bad experiences.
Thanks for commenting on my book list. A couple of weeks ago the pastor at church did a sermon called What Makes a Great Church. It reminded me a lot of this blog post. I meant to comment sooner, but you know how it is. If you want to listen to it, there is downloadable audio on the website.
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