Wanting my Daughters to be Ladies

I enjoy the monthly Metro Parent articles and information, but today I read an article that really got me thinking.

"Silly Girls," by Lynn Meredith Schreiber, was an article about how society (i.e. celebrities, rock stars, etc.) is destroying female empowerment.  I saw the subheading, "Makeup for Kids?" and was shocked that Walmart is selling a makeup line called "geoGirl" targeted at 8-12 year-olds.  The Wall Street Journal reported on it back in February.

And I guess I wonder, why?  What happened to borrowing mom's lipstick or wearing Care Deeply lip balm from Avon.  I remember in 6th grade our class went to Fish Lake for a weekend camping trip.  We were doing little skits, and some of the girls wanted to wear makeup.  I remember my mom putting on lipstick and a bit of blush on my classmates.  I was uncomfortable to wear anything, so I didn't participate.


Of course, I was not far from wearing and experimenting with make-up.  I clearly remember one evening (I was probably 13) coming to dinner in a fully made up face.  Three shades of eye shadow (blue, purple and pink), blush and RED lipstick.  I was hoping to look more like Madonna than a 14 year old, and I think I might have aged my father a few years.

I have to disagree with the article's focus that society is worse than ever before for young girls.  I was a pre-teen (i.e. 8-12 year old) in the 80s.  Madonna, Cindy Lauper, and other punk artists were my heroes; and magazines, billboards, and TV constantly reminded me that I wasn't skinny enough or pretty enough to get a boy.  So I really don't see how that is different from today; albeit there is the Internet now.  But really, I think it has more to do with what you allow as a parent.

I believe that if your daughter is confident in herself (her inner beauty and relationship with God), then she doesn't have to wear mid-drift shirts or butt-crack-showing pants.  I want to empower my daughters with THIS kind of confidence.

My mother was (and still is) a wonderful mother.  I don't want to have people believe she is not.  However, she also was (and probably still is) too concerned with her body-image.  She was always on a diet, and I remember her making a huge deal out of what I ate and how much. My sister was super skinny, and I remember that she had to drink whole milk and eat extra calorie-rich items.  Can you imagine having a beautiful, skinny sister that could eat WHATEVER SHE WANTED!  Ah...I digress.

I am hoping (desperately) that I won't do the same to my girls.  I am currently following Weight Watchers (down 13 pounds in 7 weeks), but my girls only know that we are eating healthy.  They don't hear me talk about dieting, my weight, being fat (I never even say the word), clothes fitting (or not fitting), or see me drink odd shakes (my mother had these chocolate shakes pre-Slim Fast), or just skip lunch all together (my dad did this and still does to this day...swearing that if he eats lunch he gains weight). 

I just began reading a VERY interesting ebook called, "Core Lies."  I will blog about the entirety of the book at a later date.  Core lies are those we tell ourselves and, therefore, believe to be true without question.  I know that one of my core lies is that I'm not good enough, pretty enough, and skinny enough for others to like me for who I am.  This is why I get so hurt when I'm not able to connect with another person (mainly other women).  It is also the main reason I had such a hard time with friends, boyfriends, and others while growing up.  I could NEVER be as popular as other girls, especially my sister.  She had a ton of friends, was skinny, and was voted "best hair" her senior year.  Need I say more?

I do not want my girls to believe the same lies that I did; and thus repeat my past mistakes.  I also realize that they will make choices that I cannot control.  However, I really hope they understand the lies we tell ourselves earlier than I.

I guess there is always someone (i.e. parents) purchasing the "street walker" clothing, and the make-up.  I guess on a positive note, the geoGirls line is natural and doesn't strike me as "adult."  Sigh...my girls won't be getting anything more than lip gloss from me, Santa, and the Easter Bunny.  And if they think I'm being "mean" or they "hate" me for my standards and rules, oh well - they can take it up with God.