What Doesn't Kill You Makes You...

exhausted.

*Dear Reader, please note that this isn't a blog without medical terms and adult topics.  If you are at all squeamish  skip today's blog post*

Yesterday I went for the first of two urological tests to which I am scheduled.  This one was the one called Urogynamics.

two catheters in urethra; one in vagina

I was told that this procedure would be a bit more uncomfortable than the Cystoscopy scheduled for next Monday.  Regardless, I have always been very sensitive when it came to my anything related to my bladder/urethra/etc.  Therefore, I was quite nervous when I entered the doctors office.  Actually I went to the 3rd floor initially, rather than the 2nd floor, so you can see how I was consumed with fear.  

I signed in and the receptionist assured me that I was worried about nothing.  "The test will be over and done before you know it.  Don't worry, it doesn't hurt."  This of course did not make me feel better, but I must say the staff at this office is absolutely stellar.  I can also state that this receptionist had never had the procedure before.

The Procedure

I was escorted back the the same room I peed in the funnel during my appointment last week.  If you are curious what this funnel chair contraption looked like, here is a similar drawing:

First I was told to give a urine sample.  Peeing in a small cup might be daunting for some, however, I am a pro at it.  I returned to the room and was told to remove all clothing from the waist down, put on a comfy pair of socks, get seated in the chair, and pull a paper blanket over my lower half.  I was still very nervous, but I kept telling myself it wasn't going to be that bad.  I oftentimes over-think situations, and tend to imagine the worse scenario.

Two women technicians entered the room: one worked the computer to which my results would be calculated, and the other was the one who would do the actual insertion and manipulation of the catheters.  Yes, I said manipulation.  I knew there would be an overall discomfort and burning sensation, but I actually went into a panic attack that started with sweating and feeling like I was going to throw up.  The pain was completely unimaginable, and I felt like someone was taking a knife and inserting into my urethra.  My panic attack progressed rapidly, and I thought I would pass out.  The "insertion" nurse got the doctor (Mr. Handsome) and he came in and talked to me.  Apparently the first part of the test requires a lot of manipulation of the catheter.  I was told that am in the very small percentage that feels pain with this part.  But pain is putting it lightly.  I have had a lot of stuff happen in my nether regions during my lifetime, but nothing NOTHING compares to the excruciating pain I experienced during this procedure.

My doctor is such a kind man.  He encouraged me to continue, even though I wanted to rip the catheters out and run away fast (yes, even half naked).  He let me squeeze his hand to redirect the pain.  Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the manipulation part was complete.  Then came time for me to perform, oh yes, I had to cough and bare down in a variety of positions.  Then the two technicians filled my bladder up with fluid and when I felt like I had to pee, I was asked to perform all the same actions as before.  This time I did leak when baring down and coughing.  Which I knew would happen.  Then they filled my bladder with an obnoxious amount of water.  If you are at all aware of what a CC is (a cubic centimeter), I held 200 with the first bladder expansion and 500 with the second bladder expansion.  

After the second expansion, the ladies left the room.  I was able to pee in the funnel thing again, with the hope that I would be able to empty the vast amounts of fluid they had put inside my bladder.  I must say it felt so good to know the test was almost over.  I've never been so happy to pee in my entire life.  

The catheters came out and even though I thought I would be rid of the pain, I was not.  I got dressed, and tried to get comfortable while sitting.  One of the technicians came back in the room with a bottle holding 4 pills of Pyridium.  For those of you who have never had a bladder infection or UTI, Pyridium is this lovely pill that turns pee dark orange and numbs the general area.  She told me to take two then, and save the other 2 for later.  I wish they had given me 10 of these wonders, but that was all they were allowed to pass along.

In Conclusion

I really don't want to scare women away from getting this test.  After all, I was finally able to endure the unimaginable pain.  However, what I wanted to write is MY account of the procedure.  Because the information given by my doctor, and the information online, all told me it would be an easy cheesy experience.  For instance, here are some FAQs of Urodynamics testing given on the Gynecologic Specialists of Northwestern's website:

FAQ

How long does the procedure take?
The actual test takes anywhere from 15-30 minutes. Some women reach full bladder capacity with a small amount of water and leak early on. Others require a much larger volume (and a longer time to fill) than others. Filling out the questionnaire, getting ready for the test, doing the test and discussing the test often take up to two hours of office time, so please plan accordingly.

Can I have a guest in the room?
You may bring someone with you if you desire. They can be in the room during the testing, or, if you prefer, join you just for the discussion of results.

Is this test painful?
This test is not painful other than the discomfort of having a full bladder.

I once had a catheter inserted and it was very uncomfortable. Is this catheter the same?
The catheter we use for testing is significantly smaller than a Foley catheter, and in addition, no balloon is inflated to hold it in place. It is rare for someone to even be aware of its presence.

I feel uncomfortable losing urine in front of people. Who will be in the room?
The only people in the room will be your physician or physician assistant and a medical assistant to operate the equipment. The room is designed for you to lose urine (there is no carpeting!) and while it may seem strange to you, it is the best way to determine what your problem is so we can fix it. While some women consciously (or subconsciously) hold back from losing urine, please do your best to act as if we are not there.

As you can see from my experience, I was obviously not in the norm of patients.  I want my story to be out there, because even if I am in the minority here others could possibly identify with my experience.

I will continue to share my experiences in this blog, because if nothing else they help me deal with the emotional and difficult task at hand.