Bonnie stopped by yesterday, which was really bizarre since I was writing about her earlier. She hadn't stopped over in a couple months, and I was very happy to see her. When the Jehovah Witnesses go door to door they bring someone with them, and most of my visits with Bonnie included other Witnesses. The last few times I have seen her she has been alone. However, since quitting her day job (she worked at Greenfield Village most recently) Bonnie has become a full-time pioneer. A full-time pioneer means you witness 5 days or more per week for 40 hours or more.
Now that Bonnie is a pioneer, she has many new Bible study students. She proudly spoke about them, and I found myself wondering if she was hoping I would be jealous of these new "recruits". I told her I was proud of all that she has done, especially finding new students. When we were studying regularly, Bonnie only had one other student. She wished for more - and I am very happy she got her wish.
As I have written in my last few blogs about her (BONNIE), Bonnie seems to be in a hurry when she says "hi" and gives me the newest publications. However, to remedy that from happening I invited her and Lori in to sit down. Lori was always my favorite guest of Bonnie. I was passed a copy of the publications and then Bonnie read a few scriptures referring to the publication articles. The May Watchtower is about religion and politics and if they should mix. The obvious answer is: no. But of course Bonnie wanted to quiz me to see if I remember when Jesus began to reign as king (1914) and when the Earth would be reborn (a generation from that). She always bragged that I was such a good student. I even joked that I relearned all the books of the Bible this year, due to Zoe's Bible curriculum. Bonnie seemed impressed, and it was during those few moments when I felt connected to her once again.
The connection did not last for long, because she chimed in with the same Witness-to-World conversation. The Witnesses have the truth, and every other religion (no matter what branch) does not. Bonnie knows that I am tied to this "system of things" as the Witnesses call it. I love our Earth, and I love holidays and celebrations with my people. I also like to be reminded that I am a Christian, thus I proudly have a cross "stained glass window" on my front window Evie made.
Regardless of her beliefs, Bonnie refuses to let me parish in the inevitable end of this system of things. Her hope is that I return to a weekly Bible study with her. In the past she has mentioned my children as getting to "come along for the ride" if I had a pure heart and was a true believer (i.e. follower of the Witnesses). But yesterday was probably the nastiest and blunt that she ever has been about her beliefs. Bonnie was reading about how she is not out there to convert me, but rather to show me what the Bible is really saying (not of course what others interpret it to say). She informed me that she recently learned (from the elders no doubt) that a generation is around 100 years give or take. So that with 2014 so close at hand, we need to be prepared for Armageddon. Then she curtly stated, "...and I would hate to see your beautiful little girls not make it to see the new Earth."
At that point, I felt that our relationship had completely turned the wrong corner. Yes, I was happy to see her, but no, I am not going to be strong-armed into returning to a Bible study with her. I know that the Witnesses are trained in how to act at home visits. How do I know this? Well because I went to her Kingdom Hall on a couple occasions. They reenact different situations for the Witnesses to learn and comment. The training seems to promote a lot of conversation about the end times. This focus on the end times is probably the biggest reason I could no longer engage in a Bible study with Bonnie. I realize that there will be an end, because there was a beginning. But to live my life always thinking about the end only contributes to my anxieties and stress.
When Bonnie left I had an "aha" moment; as I really do not need to see her anymore. I might miss her friendship, but our friendship seems to be in conjunction to a Bible study. This was very clear the last time we met up for lunch and Bonnie skirted out of there as soon as she finished eating. She also "broke up" with me on a phone message last summer. I realize now that I am part of "the world" - Satan's world. She is not shunning me, but she also is not going to be part of my life if I cannot succumb back to her truth.
I sincerely hope that I am able to make heads or tails of this relationship as I continue to mesh out my story about her.
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