In a Post Modern Feminist World

I was born into a home with a mom who did everything.  She sewed our clothing, she baked cookies at least once a week, she made every meal from scratch, and even played with us crazy girls.  My sister and I were 19 months apart, and couldn't be any more different.  I guess you could compare us to my Ladybugs - best friends one minute and worst enemies the next!

I was raised with Christian values, and I had an educationally rich and loving childhood.  Looking back, I had a very wonderful upbringing, of course at the time I felt deprived.  We didn't own an Easy Bake Oven, nor a Slip and Slide; we never drank Koolaid, nor did we get that Starwars AT-AT that was on my wish list.    But what we did have was two parents who lived for us, unselfishly.  I never would have guessed that being a girl wasn't a great thing, even during Sunday School and the like.

I suppose the first time I knew there were double standards was when my male friends, Mike and Joe, were able to stay out later or take the car more often.  My parents claimed it was because, they were boys.  I was disgusted at the time, but my parents also had double standards for my sister and I.  So I came to just accept (though not without groundings) that things were different for me.

I just finished The Dance of the Dissident Daughter, by Sue Monk Kidd, and I must say I was definitely inspired to do some soul searching.  Do I live a life reflective of a predominately patriarchal society?  And worse yet, am I teaching this to my Ladybugs?

Carolyn Heilbrun as written about the "scripts" for womanhood that are handed to women to live out, culturally defined scripts that are written in advance and passed to females from birth.  And historian Gerda Lerner writes that men and women live on a stage, acting out their assigned roles.  They play can't go on without both of them... ~Sue Monk Kidd

If this is true, what "scripts" have my Ladybugs been given?  Do they have any clue they are growing up in a patriarchal society?  I had no clue at their age.  I have always fed their interests, whether that be dressing up or playing with legos.  I think "traditional" female roles are a thing of the past.  These roles began to crumble in my mother's generation; however, my mother felt compelled to take on the role of Mom-Who-Does-Everything.  I'm not so sure that is the right answer either.

Kidd illustrates her journey to The Feminine with different mythological stories and artistic symbolism.  I think one of the most interesting allusions was to the "mother line" illustrated in a Matryoshka doll (Russian nesting doll).  Each layer of the doll represents a mother throughout generations.  For what it is worth, I love Russian nesting dolls and each Ladybug has a set along with a beautifully written and illustrated book.

I am hoping to describe the beauty of the line of matrons in our family.  How interesting it would be if our histories were told by the line of women and not men?