Gosh, how many of us can say that?!
I know I certainly could. Friendships lost, hurtful words spoken, relationships destroyed by others. And when can you say, "the business is finished"?
I must say that I have spent the last couple of years reconnecting, reconciling, and reestablishing what was once lost. I've also (in many cases) determined that some relationships are meant to be just as they were: abandoned.
In a previous post I mentioned that I had reconnected with my ex-husband (dear childhood friend). And I don't think it was necessarily the end of a story, but just the beginning of the next chapter in our "adult" lives.
The same thing cannot be said about an ex-boyfriend that I reconnected with a few years ago. We both had a lot of questions for each other, and we even met up and took my girls out to a few locations during his visit. While he was here I thought that we were reestablishing a friendship that could move us into the future. However, looking back at his visit only confirms that it was an end to our relationship (whether that be romantic or not). No regrets, no "I wishes". Just the occasional "I wonder what he's doing these days?" Of course I think this is normal with anyone from your past - whether the relationship is "finished" or "unfinished".
Todays reading mentions repentance. The author says, "The invitation to pilgrimage is an invitation to repent. Repentance is a godly sorrow, so deep as to cause one to change." I can't say that I entirely agree, but I also can't completely disagree either. Dictionary.com claims the following as the definition:
re⋅pent⋅ance
noun| 1. | deep sorrow, compunction, or contrition for a past sin, wrongdoing, or the like. |
| 2. | regret for any past action. |
I suppose I do have regrets, but I don't think my 40-day pilgrimage could be illustrated by suggesting a repentance. But I do suppose thinking about the past and how I've been hurt; the situations that brought me to the place I am today; and what I want to learn from this pilgrimage could include repentance. I suppose that is for time to tell.
Today's reading:
Psalms 25:8-11 (The Message)
God is fair and just;
He corrects the misdirected,
Sends them in the right direction.
He gives the rejects his hand,
And leads them step-by-step.
From now on every road you travel
Will take you to God.
Follow the Covenant signs;
Read the charted directions.
Keep up your reputation, God;
Forgive my bad life;
It's been a very bad life.
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