pilgrimage - day #6

"stuff"

I will never forget I had a teacher in elementary school that hated that word. When used as a noun, it can take the place of "things" or a list of items. So the teacher would mark us down for using the word "stuff" or "things" in our writing. I actually became offended by the word. I truly don't like reading it as a noun (stuff can be a verb too - I want to stuff this sock inside your mouth).

Now as a teacher I find myself loathing the word. I always ask my students, "What is new?" or "What did you do this week." Quite often I get the answer, "stuff." I always follow up with, "What kind of stuff?" And believe it or not I get the answer, "...well, you know...stuff..." more than not.

So through the years I have looked at extra items in my "inventory" as "stuff." Allowing the negative connotation to be just that: STUFF that I need to rid myself of.

The activity today suggests making a list of "stuff" that can be eliminated from your life. The idea is letting go of the greed and excess that can be distracting from the journey at hand.

I am pretty good about organization and maintaining a "stuff" free environment. I do this because of my problems with anxiety. I can become overwhelmed or anxious when I'm in a disorganized environment. I often find myself organizing and reorganizing until the space is pleasing. So to make a list of "stuff," I am compelled to look at situations and/or people that need to be eliminated from my life.

I am the kind of person that doesn't regret much in life. I don't spend a ton of time making decisions that would be considered "daily" in nature (i.e. what to eat for dinner, what to wear, etc.). In fact, I don't spend a ton of time on bigger decisions either. I follow my heart (gut whatever you want to call it). I try to listen to my inner voice for an answer. Sometimes that gets me in trouble, or I might get hurt. But I'd rather experience something than have a regret later that I didn't experience something.

My criteria for friendships is much different than before I had children. Now I do my best to surround my children with "like-minded" people. I am careful to befriend a person that treats me the way I deserve to be treated. Basically treats me the way I treat them. I have also noticed that I have pulled myself away from friendships that are one-sided or emotionally draining. I don't create a dramatic "break-up," rather I just don't give as much time to that relationship as I used to. Friendship doesn't necessarily need daily attention, but you do need to remain focused on the relationship. Yes, I said relationship.

Becoming a Facebook person has put me in contact with people I haven't spoken to for years (some for 20 or more). It's always interesting to reconnect with those whom I was quite close to growing up. Part of me wonders why the relationship didn't continue, but once I reconnect with the person it's pretty obvious. I also find it really interesting that some people that I knew growing up have so much in common with me now. We weren't "enemies" back in the day; just not close. These are the relationships I'm surprised and elated by.

I also must admit that we all grow as people. Sometimes relationships don't grow with us. There is such a lovely poem that gets attached to emails ever so often. I will share it now.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

Then people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

Today's reading

Psalms 73:1-5, 21-24 (The Message)
No doubt about it! God is good -
good to good people, good to the good hearted.
But I nearly missed it,
missed seeing his goodness.
I was looking the other way,
looking up to the people
At the top,
envying the wicked who have it made,
Who have nothing to worry about,
not a care in the whole wide world.

When I was beleaguered and bitter, (beleaguered means to be surrounded by problems)
totally consumed by envy,
I was totally ignorant, a dumb ox
in your very presence.
I'm still in your presence,
but you've taken my hand.
You wisely and tenderly lead me,
and then you bless me.