Day #28 {31 Days to Clean}

Day #28 - Who Are you Trying to Please

Yesterday began as a huge success.
The carpets were washed beautifully, and Jim had the day off from work.  We spent time just hanging.  And then my parents took the ladybugs for dinner and a sleepover, and Jim and I had eaten some WONDERFUL Indian food.


Then the bottom dropped out.
When we got home I decided to switch the loads of laundry (a task that is never done, we all know).  As I pulled the laundry from the dryer, a lipbalm fell out.  It was Jim's.  Earlier in the afternoon he had asked to help with laundry.  Since he very rarely EVER asks to help, I jumped at the opportunity.  Needless to say, the entire load was newer shirts I had bought with money I saved.  They had oily spots dried all over them.

Upon further investigation, two lipbalms (yes, two) were in one pair of his jeans.  The rest of the load were three pair of pajamas (mine), 2 tanks (mine), 3 shirts (mine), and a pair of jeans (mine).  I began crying hysterically.  The last 3 times Jim and I had a night alone, it was a debacle.  Most recently I ended up at Urgent Care the morning after, because my eyes swelled up and were red.  I had fallen asleep at 10 the evening before.  Sigh.

After Jim went to find replacement shirts (he felt horrible), we ended up watching a 2-hour documentary on HBO called, "How to Die in Oregon."  Yes, a very depressing way to spend what was supposed to be a romantic evening.  but I could not seem to regain that romantic place I was in earlier.  I know that Jim did not mean to purposely stain my clothing.  However, I just felt his complacency ultimately contributed to the outcome.

Why so emotional you asked?
Why was I upset?  Am I PMSing?  First of all, I have very few clothing items that fit (I refuse to buy more clothing since I'm on Weight Watchers right now).  Secondly, the items affected by the oily balm were all mine (besides the pair of jeans that were his and unaffected).  And, the biggest blow to the emotions, I felt like he just went through the motions of "doing the laundry" and really didn't care how the laundry was completed.

What now?
The home is my domain: the place I take care of.  I perceived his lack of task focus to suggest he didn't care about me.  Logically I know this isn't true, because I must believe him and trust him when he said he was sorry about what happened.  I must forgive his flippant actions.  I am still working on feeling appreciated and loved today.  Of course I have the ladybugs back home to kiss and hug me. But I WAS trying to please Jim, and I ended up letting myself down.

A Facebook friend made the following comment on my profile: "  Reach for the stars, and even if you fall short, you'll land on the moon."  I responded, "Look, that is a great quote and all.  But this has been a really REALLY hard year for my family.  I did get caught on the moon, it was a crescent.  It caught my underwear and got a wedgie in the process.  Still fell down to Earth in the end."


Here's hoping the year pulls an upward turn.